First Time Away Vent

ShortStuff5

So my husband and I left the baby with our friends for first time tonight it was sad to leave her because I'm a stay at home mom so we spend literally every second of the day and night together. Well they said she screamed towards the end of the night and after awhile they put her down in the play pen and let her cry herself to sleep and although I know this doesn't hurt her it hurts me I do not do that I see it this way if I was to put her in her crib to cry daddy wouldn't sleep for work I wouldn't sleep and it's just not doing any good for any of us. I'm just glad we are all home together now and mommy will not be leaving her any time soon only did tonight because my husband had bought tickets to an event in our home town. She defiantely missed her momma and I missed her so much. What has been your experiences leaving baby.

m6tonner

I would be pissed if someone left my 3 month old to cry herself to sleep. At this age, they are too small for coping skills. If your child was screaming crying, she obviously needed something that she was unable to do for herself. 

m6tonner

Oops, double post.

tfrangul

This is why I don't trust anyone with my kids when they are babies. I'm sorry you went through that. Glad you are able to snuggle with your lo now. Just remember she will never remember that night and you do deserve a little time away with your husband and that it's important for your marriage. 

ShortStuff5

Ya I definitely was not happy. They parented their girls differently when they had them and they believe it's  ok to put baby down and let baby cry it out I just am not comfortable with that. I totally agree with not trusting anyone watching our babygirl these were the best ones on our list of people because their slightly older like high 30's and they have children of their own like I said they just parent differently. They even said she woke up once from a nap looked at them and cried so they thought she realized I wasn't there. I was so worried about that I kept telling my husband she's going to cry because she is going to notice mommy's not there for her she's used to seeing my face and the way i do things and come on I'm her mommy she's obviously going to recognize my face smell touch etc. Hope none of you Mommies have to go through leaving your baby I'll be snuggling her extra long today when she wakes up.

jodiedrich18

I'm with @m6tonner I would be pissed. CiO has its place but nowhere near babies this young. I haven't been away from LO except for one 3 hours afternoon and when I'm at work. Right now, I can't bring myself to plan things as a couple until maybe another month or two. I feel too guilty because of being at work full time but I know we'll have to invest time together as it is important. I'm sorry you were missing your LO as you guys ventured out.

fishee333

Oh my goodness I would be pissed too! I'm so sorry! 3 months is way too young to cry herself to sleep, especially when you aren't even home. I was just thinking about how I don't trust anyone besides my mom watch my little girl - I just picture her crying when I'm not there and it breaks my heart. I really hope you find someone else you trust at some point! 

nackie

My mom keeps telling me we need to CIO since DS can't seem to fall asleep on his own yet.  I'm not opposed to it entirely, but I think he's still way too young and I want to exhaust other methods first.  We won't be doing any sleep overs for a while.
That's really unfortunate that your friends did something like that without your permission.

stephanienjer

I would not be happy, but I don't think you should feel upset with yourself. You DESERVE a break now and then. While I certainly wouldn't make a habit of the CIO technique, that one time has probably already been forgotten by LO. We don't practice CIO, but I really struggle with meeting my own needs when LO is fussy. Another mom from a parenting group gave me the good advice: If she's crying, she's breathing. Meaning, if she's crying, I don't have to jump out of the shower with shampoo in my hair. Finish what I'm doing (within reason) and then address the problem. 
Trust me, it KILLS me to listen to her cry, but sometimes you have to eat or shower. (And we don't really have that big of a crier, but she times it right when I'm trying to do something usually. Her favorite is that she likes to poop right as we put food on the table. )

nackie

@stephanienjer for the last three weeks, every single time my LO has pooped has been while I'm pumping.  It's like he knows I won't be able to do anything about it for a bit.

stephanienjer

@nackie , yesterday morning, I had to frantically wake my husband up to relieve me from bottle duty, because I was not going to make it to the bathroom. If I had just been holding her, I would have taken her in there with me, but with a bottle...and nobody takes baby's bottle away until baby decides! (read that last part in the voice of James Earl Jones.)

melturz

My family makes fun of me for not leaving my baby yet. DS is 4 months and the longest I've been away was 2 hours, and DH stayed with him. He is the first grand baby to 3 sets of grandparents. So all the grandma's argue on who is going to babysit him first! I panic at the thought of leaving him with any of them! My mil loves to play with him, but doesn't know when to stop. She doesn't let him sleep! My mom always thinks he's hungry when he cries and when I tell her he's not, she tries taking him away from me! And my stepmom holds him like a little baby and he hates it. He has to be facing out and looking around. 
As for me, I am perfectly fine with not leaving him people can tease me all they want!

Mamabeagle

I am wondering how long they left LO to cry, because that makes a big difference in how I feel about it. We definitely don't CIO *but* if baby is fussing/lightly crying as opposed to screaming at bedtime or in the middle of the night, I will wait one or two minutes to see if he settles. He typically does. 

ShortStuff5

We went over to our friends house a few days ago same ones that watched our daughter and just looking at them she screamed and cried. I truly believed she got traumatized when they watched her. She would not let them hold her she screamed when she looked at them.