How do you find mommy friends? — The Bump
January 2016 Moms

How do you find mommy friends?

Most of my friends fell away after I got married and started having kids. I guess that's the case for a lot of sahms my age. I joined a mommy play group on meet up but, it wasn't a good fit. They all were a little older then myself and lets face it if your kid doesn't play well with others it makes play dates super stressful. The park is a shot in the dark if at all really. I recently found hellomamas and posted my profile. Would anyone like to share their experience about the world of mommy groups and play dates?

Re: How do you find mommy friends?

  • I joined a newborn mom's support group called PEPS, it's based in Seattle. I'm going to start going to classes at a yoga studio nearby too - they have "baby gym" and baby music classes there. We'll see how it goes! 
    Hipshaker
  • I found some groups on Facebook for my area that have a ton of groups listed. Try typing in the name of your city and moms. I live in a very kid friendly area and there is something almost every day for sahms.
    claireloSCHipshaker
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  • When I had my first son I joined a mommy group on meetup.com. While I participated in the group more actively during his first year--I am not as active anymore. I just found that while there were some really nice mom's---I struggled with relating to some of them as they were all mainly SAHM's and I was still working full-time. Personally, I struggled and had to overcome the mom guilt that I had by feeling like my son was missing out on all the things they did like going to the park twice a week, visiting the zoo on a regular basis, going to baby music class and etc. I have maintained some friends from the group and will generally just get together with them independently when I have time instead of feeling bad about not attending the groups event. Just my two-sense from my experience.

    If you are looking for other things to do and a way to meet people, check your local library, they often have things going on all the time and some weekly classes for babies.

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    Hipshaker
  • klbhklbh member
    I go to story time at the local public library and a breastfeeding support group (though the latter makes me feel a bit stressed sometimes. Those ladies are WAY more enthusiastic about breastfeeding than me. I'm counting down the weeks till he can tolerate animal milks and I can have my body to myself again, and they're all about sharing snarky replies to strangers who think it's weird to breastfeed a six-year-old).  
    Hipshaker
  • I have two babies 13 months apart. I'm a total homebody because of how challenging it is just to get out the door. It literally took me over 2 hours to take them for a walk around the block with them. 
    carlyhammond
  • I actually deactivated my fb account like three years ago or more. I got pissed off at my mom for posting my kids pics to the world. She has like a buzzillion friends and no ettiquette. Her personal cell # is even listed on there. I'm a pretty private person at heart and wished had never posted one pic of dd I the first place. It's pretty creepy to be approached in a reasturarant by a person you don't know about your trip to the park last week with your kid. Still though it seams like that's the only way to do anything with anybody
    ekscopp
  • I go to my church's parents group and I go to a family friends church's parents group. I also did mommy and me type classes at the towns rec center. My oldest is 6 and all my friends are just starting to have kids, while I am having my last. But it seems they are coming back now that they are settling down, which is nice. 
    Married 2006
    DS1 2010
    DS2 2013
    DD1 2016
    ChrissyD1203
  • Oh jeez, I'm totally in the same boat. I'm more of a homebody. All of my friends seem to disappear when I got pregnant, even the girl who has a son a year old doesn't talk to me. 
    I have a very unique personality, I dislike small talk, I am sarcastic, and I have a permanent bitch face. I also don't drink, smoke or do drugs ( nor do I want my Baby around smoking and drugs) -- All of which makes it close to impossible to meet new people. 
    I tried talking with a girl at work that has a son a month older than my son. But, then I realized she is involved with drugs and I don't want to be around that so I backed away... 
    I went to a consignment sale and a local mom group was set up and I went to talk with them and they were snobby witches so I just never joined... 
    -sighs- I wish I lived in a bigger city with more options, that i can still work but meet new people. 
    l4rkHipshaker
  • l4rkl4rk member
    Wait, moms have friends? Ahaha. Just kidding.

    A good friend from high school works 4 on 2 off, so she often hangs out with me during the work week. She has a 7 year old but otherwise, no mommy friends here. 

    I do go to a baby group run by public health nurses once a week, and plan to go to other groups when I'm older. Err... when LO is older. (Can you tell we had a rough night?!) I'm hoping to eventually pick up a mommy friend here or there if I stay involved. But I'm tragic at small talk and superficial interactions so we'll see...
    Hipshaker
  • I tried a mom and baby group run by the hospital but it all felt very judgy so I never went back. I settled in better at the PPD support group. But my real life saver has been a local mom and baby club, they have meetings every afternoon so you can go whenever you want, and it has all sorts of moms. They also run a mom and baby yoga class which I love, and they have play sessions and music classes for toddlers too. 

    One of my best friends has a 7 month old, and my other is now pregnant, which would be perfect for me except they live in a different country. It's great to chat to them on Skype and we message all the time (very handy during the MOTN feed sessions, time differences do have a plus side) but I did need a way to meet local moms too. 
    Hipshaker
  • I actually really lucked out lol. I'm not that old, only 23 so most of my friends aren't at the baby stage yet, but my best friend of over 10 years actually got pregnant the night of my baby shower lol. So now her son is due the end of August. Almost 7 months to the day after my daughter. So I get to keep my best friend as a mommy friend and not to far in age for the babies too!
    Hipshaker
  • My first playdate with 3 moms was a total success. I even got a crashed by a mom who over heard us talking. Now I'm up to 18 members. This growing faster then what I expected I hope I can retain some.
    ctmamaoftwo
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