Time passing & certain days

msunshine123

How are all you doing? What are your plans for Mother's Day? It can be such a challenging day for us moms. 
 
Warning rainbow mentioned
I'm a little nervous about Mother's Day this year with my rainbow and also because my rainbow will be 1 soon and it will also be my son's 2nd birthday in heaven soon after. I just miss him so much and wish he was here to celebrate all of these days coming. He's not and it just hurts. Thanks for reading. Hugs to all of you ladies!

cmillar36

No Mothers Day plans at the moment. Not looking forward to May and June as a whole. We have a scattering of her ashes coming up May 17th. That's also her 3 months in heaven date. Then June 15th is my due date. I'm also headed back to work May 1st. I've been off almost 3 months at this point. Will be a huge adjustment for me.

msunshine123

@cmillar36 - thinking of you and sending big hugs your way. Hopefully the next few weeks will be peaceful for you. Be patient and kind to yourself as you prepare to return to work and approach your daughter's due date. I think it's beautiful that you plan to scatter your daughter's ashes on her 3 months in heaven date. I hope your family will be surrounded by a lot of love and support that day too. I'll be thinking of you. So many hugs to you. 

Pookster1020

Mother's day one of us usually hosts a brunch for the family and I am not looking forward to it.  My birthday is the Tuesday before and my younger sister is basically due to have her 3rd child any day now.  I may actually wind up just spending the day with DH and my sunshine.  It kills me not to be with my family but I will most likely be a mess and if my sister has her baby by then I really don't think i could handle it.  It's been just over 6 months since I lost my son at 39 weeks.

msunshine123

@Pookster1020 so many hugs to you. It's good to plan ahead for these challenging days and to do what is best for you and your family. Just because you choose to do something different this year on Mother's Day doesn't mean you always have to do it. But I think it's good you are thinking about it and giving yourself permission to do what is right for you. I avoided being around new babies for a little after loosing my son (also lost at 39 weeks) - you'll know when you're ready. Hugs to you.

Pookster1020

@msunshine123 Thank you.  Sending you good thoughts and hugs as you deal with the upcoming holiday.  I hope the joy from your rainbow is helping to heal the loss of your angel.

We want to try again soon and it gives me hope when i hear of people having a rainbow after a late loss like I had.

EmmieAnn22

So I've mostly lurked on this board and don't think I've posted.  We lost our son at 37 weeks at the end of Septmeber.

I planned a trip to Chicago over Mother's Day weekend.  I didn't mean to but it's really a happy accident.  We normally get together as a family and go out and I know I can't handle that this year.  

@Pookster1020 Missing out on family things is so hard but I'm sure everyone will understand.  We skipped Thanksgiving with my husband's family last year. We also will be skipping a wedding later this year.  The sister of the groom has a baby who is the exact age my son should be.  I've even had to unfollow her on Facebook because I can't look at her daughter without being sad.  

TW- pregnancy mentioned 

Since you brought it up.  When you decide to try again and are pregnant the PGAL board is really great and supportive. I heard the trying to conceive after loss board was great too but I never checked it out.  

I hope all all of you have a peaceful Mother's Day I know it won't be easy for any of us.

Deepoet

Hi all, Mother's day has always been bittersweet for me since losing my Mother almost 19 years ago. The hard thing is that especially this year is that Mother's day is my Step-Moms birthday and the day after is my Sister's. 

At this point in the game almost 2 months since my Princess became as Angel, people expect me to be "Over it" especially because i was "Only 19 weeks". I am not over it! I am hitting the anger stage of grief I believe. I am angry over the fact that I am not still pregnant and even angrier that I can never be again. But I am moving on. I have even started to look into the adoption process. 
We are all doing pretty well. 

The fact that I am sitting at my desk at work right now and not curled up in bed crying to me is a big deal. 

msunshine123

@EmmieAnn22  - I am so sorry for the loss of your son. Thanks for joining in!

Congratulations on your current pregnancy. I hope it's a smooth and boring pregnancy. I'll be thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way.

@Deepoet - you are correct in that you'll never be over loosing your daughter. It doesn't matter how far along - she was your child. Some people just don't understand and their insensitivity and thoughtlessness can be so hurtful. So many hugs to you. At 2 months out your pain and grief are still so fresh. Feel whatever you need - anger, sadness it's all normal. Be patient and kind to yourself. Big hugs to you! You are right - just being able to semi function and be at your desk is a huge accomplishment!

aadamson12

@Deepoet I understand you completely. I lost my son at 16 weeks and there is some family that just doesn't understand. My mother in law was staying with us and she asked me, "was that baby a boy or a girl, I can't remember?" Hearing her say "that baby" killed me. Like he wasn't important enough to remember just a month out from our loss! We will never "get over it."

I'm thinking about getting Noah's tiny footprint tattooed on my foot like a butterfly for mother's day. 

msunshine123

@aadamson12 - I am so sorry for the loss of your son Noah. I am sorry too about the statements made by your mother-in-law so careless and so hurtful. I would have been so upset. Hugs to you! Your idea of having your son's footprints made into a butterfly tattoo sounds beautiful. 

Deepoet

@aadamson12 I am sorry for your loss. Insensitive people suck! My Step-Mom never referred to our baby as a baby. Even now she says it was "Only a Fetus".  The Idea of that Tattoo sounds Awesome, what a great way to remember him! 

@msunshine123 thanks for your words! I appreciate them!! 

@cmillar36 I hope your first week back to work has been boring and uneventful and that you are doing OK.