We need some feedback

ahager0417

So we have done 3 failed unmedicated IUIs, everything has looked great on my side. The donor sperm was good. We have another vial left at the doctors office. Our doctor said we could keep going on the same route we are going now or we could get an HSG to make sure everything else is ok. Or go ahead and start taking medication. I don't know what to do. We don't have a lot of people we can talk to about it. Our only other friends that have done Iui got pregnant on the first try. I know that it can take multiple tries but I'm really just emotionally drained. Any advice would be so great! 

Blakelya

We started with an HSG and did medicated IUIs right away, had three of those and then went straight to IVF after that. We/our provider were pretty aggressive, since we didn't want to waste more emotional energy/time/money than we had to so that's what worked for us. I definitely know of people who have gone a variety of paths, with many IUIs along the way. In the end I'm glad we didn't keep trudging down that path. It's all such randomness, the unknowns will make you crazy. Those first try people are the worst

Noellee2005

@ahager0417 V and I are in the same boat. Today would have been test-taking day after our third IUI attempt had her period not shown up yesterday morning.  Our treatment plan was to meet with the doctor after three unsuccessful attempts, but we cannot get an appointment with him until June 2nd.  So, since we have one remaining vial at the doctor's office, we figured we'll try one more time since we have to wait a full cycle until the appointment anyway.  I don't know what our next step will be after that, so V and I are trying our hardest to let things be.  The emotional drain is tough, for sure.  I feel like it's taking so long.  Yet, I'm marking time by my wife's menstrual cycles, and all of a sudden, we've been trying for almost half a year.  It's hard being strong for her but still getting to feel my feelings.  Anyhow, while I don't necessarily have any advice to offer, I just wanted to commiserate and tell you you're not alone.  Good luck!

Twochickshavinachick

Don't have any experience in this area but wanted to wish you the best of luck whatever route you choose to take.

sjo_thetwins

My wife and I tried 3 IUI cycles before it being successful on our 4th. I had an HSG test done before the 1st one and everything came back good, so we went ahead with it. Two of the cycles were unmedicated and unsuccessful, the third cycle was on Clomid and unsuccessful, and the 4th cycle we did Gonal-F injections, letrozole, and then the trigger shot. That one resulted in twins and we are current 14 weeks KU. 

I know the amount of time you spend trying to conceive can take an emotional toll on you and your wife, I know it did us. And the medication can really take a toll on whoever is carrying - it did me. I wish you both the best of luck and fingers crossed that you don't have to endure the process any longer than you have to. 

claireloSC

I tried for a year, 9 total cycles (sometimes with more than one attempt/vial within a cycle. Unmedicated IUI. It just takes time with frozen sperm, because your chances of conceiving aren't that high when you have to hit the timing just right since it doesn't live as long as fresh sperm. You need to really understand your cycle and your ovulation to make it happen. Hang in there! My dr actually wouldn't prescribe meds because she didn't want multiples (and neither did we). My baby is 12 weeks old. It will happen! My advice is to inseminate as close to exactly 24 hours after you get a positive ovulation. And don't use the digital OPKs, the strip ones are easier to see the progression and therefore accuracy.

twomommiestobe

I would highly suggest a hsg and even possibly shg. 
The hsg will make sure your tubes aren't blocked. There is conflicting data, but some say your chance of conceiving is higher after hsg bc the fluids help flush your tubes. 

The shg will test your uterus for polyps or other obstructions that might hinder implantation. 

I think it would help to get all of the testing done you can to make sure you have the best treatment plan in place. Good luck! 

KLake42

I know it's been a few weeks, but I'd like to add my two cents.

In theory, you should do 12 IUIs before going a more medical route, since hetero folks should try for a year before calling the doctor.  But in reality, this is expensive.  There just hasn't been enough data collected on queer women, reproductive technology, and fertility for us to know how many times is enough before we start thinking about infertility challenges.

Personally, I've had 8 IUIs, and I'm about at the point of giving up on my ovaries.  The 8th IUI was after IVF was cancelled for poor response.  But I'm also 39, and my blood work indicates low reserve.  My HSG was clear, but many ultrasounds have led us to think my right (dominant) ovary may be off track, with an adhesion pulling it behind my uterus.

The HSG was not comfortable or cheap for me, but I'm glad I got it done.  I did it after 3 IUIs, and it was the right time, and necessary information.  My tubes were clear, so it didn't answer any questions, but it was part of the process.

Have you had FSH levels checked?  Over or under 35?