Wedding Attendance

MRSVELA07

My manager's wedding is this coming June and I'll be 37 weeks pregnant. I received the invitation however, it's only addressed to me and I confirmed with another co-worker of mine that for budget reasons there are no guests for the invitees. From my knowledge this is a 'no-no' when it comes to etiquette but I also understand their budget constraints. Their wedding isn't far but I still don't see myself going to a wedding without my husband not to mention going alone at 37 weeks. I'm not wanting her make any exceptions for me but I don't plan on attending. Any advice on how to approach this? Not sure if this matters but I'm not planning on returning to work once I go on leave in early June. 

ButterMyBiscuit

Our randoms thread is probably a better place to pose this question. Here's a link for you:

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12672564/week-of-4-18-randoms/p1

We try to keep our board as clutter-free as possible.

PinkLady2015

You don't want to go and you don't plan on going. RSVP No. 

youre welcome 

Racso12

I would never go to a wedding my husband wasn't invited to. There are other ways to budget wedding financials than to exclude spouses at an event meant to celebrate love. 

DarkCat

I wouldn't go. Send a gift in your absence.

KatieBird0106

RSVP no and send a gift. 

megstervt

A wedding invitation is not a command performance in my opinion.  RSVP no.  If you want to send along a gift, if you'd rather not then don't.  

slorbets

I agree with everyone else. RSVP that you cannot attend, but send a gift. I am sure being 37 weeks pregnant, they will understand.  

sboston06

You have the perfect excuse to politely decline. I wouldn't even bring up the fact that she excluded your husband although I don't agree with that decision either.

Eko14

Has she met your husband? Do you do things outside of work together? If I were to invite a bunch of gal pals from work I wouldn't invite their husbands either unless we already did coupley things together. I wouldn't feel obligated to go or send a gift if you don't have an out of work relationship and you have no plans of returning.

givemepenguinss

I think you should RSVP yes and then not go.

huskypuppy14

Eko14 said:

Has she met your husband? Do you do things outside of work together? If I were to invite a bunch of gal pals from work I wouldn't invite their husbands either unless we already did coupley things together. I wouldn't feel obligated to go or send a gift if you don't have an out of work relationship and you have no plans of returning.

Nope.  The bolded is irrelevant. You don't have a wedding (which is a ceremony and party celebrating your love to another person) and fail to invite your guests with the person they love. It's completely disrespectful and against etiquette. If you don't want to invite guest A's significant other, then you don't invite guest A at all.

OP, don't go. An invitation is not a summons.

BostonBaby1

I'm not really understanding the question. But, I think the advice to politely declined and send a gift is spot on.

jwittwer

I love @givemepenguinss advice. But the correct thing to do is rsvp no and send a gift. 

KocsisCaitlyn

I work with a lady who did the same thing, she invited all of us work girls and with no significant others. We all went and had a great time. Send back the RSVP no... and send a gift of you feel you need to. 

LadyFleck

I have the same scenario occurring and it also happens to be the same weekend as my one year wedding anniversary. I'm only going bc my husband just happens to be out of town and I'll be 32 weeks, not 37. 

I'd say follow what other PP say and RSVP no but send a gift. Weddings are meant for love, drinking, and dancing. Seems like not a lot of any of those things will be going on for you and the bride will have plenty of others to enjoy her time with. 

On on the other hand I have a wedding I am supposed to BE in at 39 weeks pregnant. Can't even buy a dress or really participate in much, if ill even make it. The bride insists on keeping me involved but at this point I just want to call it and say, please leave me out of this. 

oneliloaktree13

huskypuppy14 said:

Eko14 said:

Has she met your husband? Do you do things outside of work together? If I were to invite a bunch of gal pals from work I wouldn't invite their husbands either unless we already did coupley things together. I wouldn't feel obligated to go or send a gift if you don't have an out of work relationship and you have no plans of returning.

Nope.  The bolded is irrelevant. You don't have a wedding (which is a ceremony and party celebrating your love to another person) and fail to invite your guests with the person they love. It's completely disrespectful and against etiquette. If you don't want to invite guest A's significant other, then you don't invite guest A at all.

OP, don't go. An invitation is not a summons.

Glad someone else picked up on how dumb that sounded. 

xc1148

RSVP no and send a gift only to your manager, not their spouse.

am0987

OP, I'm in sort-of the same boat, except its one of my best friend's wedding on June 4th (I'd be 36 weeks). Originally, I was supposed to be a bridesmaid, but once I knew how far along I'd be, I told her I couldn't be in the wedding anymore because its not fair to her. Luckily she understood.

Now, as far as attending the wedding, I told her of course I'd come...naive FTM here who didn't know how miserable I'd be now at 30 weeks, much less 36 weeks. She hasn't sent out invites yet so I don't know if I'll be allowed a guest, but either way I don't think I'll be attending. Its 3 hours away, and its an evening wedding, which means I'd have to stay the night somewhere.

I really do feel bad, but honestly, one day she'll be 36 weeks pregnant, and I'll be like, see why I didn't come to your wedding? Haha.