Chance of wrong gender prediction at NT scan???

MzOro82214

I'm quite nervous as the tech had guessed BOY at the time of the scan. I've been saying "she" at every turn and we tremendously want a girl. Literally more than 40 of our friends and family are rooting Girl for us since we have 4 boys in total. I went at 13+1 but, as I already guessed, baby was measuring behind at 12+5 (since I knew I ovulated late). The tech said she has been doing u/s for over 20 years & that she's usually right. I've been Googling TONS of stories of people being told one thing at their NT scan & seeing different results at their 20 week scan. I have an elective gender scan coming up on 4/30 and I will be 15+3 (with baby most likely measuring at 14+6) and I'm having 10 of my friends present and I have a feeling they'll all moan in disappointment if it's yet again another boy, LOL! Ultimately, yes, a healthy baby is what's important, but I'm kind of driving myself crazy with the thought that it might not turn out to be what I'd hoped for. The tech closed saying that there's still a very small possibility that the genitals could still be swollen and may retract, and I'm definitely praying for that! I sure hope she was wrong.

TurtleMomma

Well, biologically, their external genitalia is still pretty ambiguous at this point so the tech has a 50/50 shot. I definitely wouldn't put any stock into predictions done before 16 weeks. 

nsquaredlife13

50-50 chance. With DS 1, our NT tech said it was pretty obvious we were having a boy and she was right. But that said, the twig and berries can still become innies over the next couple of weeks. I think I read somewhere that the chance of them guessing boy and it being a girl is greater than them guessing a girl and it being a boy. Or maybe that's reverse. Whatever it is, it's basically a 50-50 shot and I wouldn't bank on any guesses this early. 

kmalls

MzOro82214 said:

I'm quite nervous as the tech had guessed BOY at the time of the scan. I've been saying "she" at every turn and we tremendously want a girl. Literally more than 40 of our friends and family are rooting Girl for us since we have 4 boys in total. I went at 13+1 but, as I already guessed, baby was measuring behind at 12+5 (since I knew I ovulated late). The tech said she has been doing u/s for over 20 years & that she's usually right. I've been Googling TONS of stories of people being told one thing at their NT scan & seeing different results at their 20 week scan. I have an elective gender scan coming up on 4/30 and I will be 15+3 (with baby most likely measuring at 14+6) and I'm having 10 of my friends present and I have a feeling they'll all moan in disappointment if it's yet again another boy, LOL! Ultimately, yes, a healthy baby is what's important, but I'm kind of driving myself crazy with the thought that it might not turn out to be what I'd hoped for. The tech closed saying that there's still a very small possibility that the genitals could still be swollen and may retract, and I'm definitely praying for that! I sure hope she was wrong.

I wouldn't trust a 12 week ultrasound (as far as the sex goes) for a second. It's way too early to tell.

That being said, this post makes me all kinds of uncomfortable. You're actually going nuts with the thought it might be a boy? You realize however hard you're hoping for a girl, and despite all your friends "rooting" for a girl, there's still a 50% chance it won't be? If your friends ACTUALLY "moan in disappointment" if it's a boy, you needs to get new friends because that's incredibly messed up.

Edited because apparently The Bump gods are sensitive and I don't need to get banned over this. 

FemShep

kmalls said:

MzOro82214 said:

I'm quite nervous as the tech had guessed BOY at the time of the scan. I've been saying "she" at every turn and we tremendously want a girl. Literally more than 40 of our friends and family are rooting Girl for us since we have 4 boys in total. I went at 13+1 but, as I already guessed, baby was measuring behind at 12+5 (since I knew I ovulated late). The tech said she has been doing u/s for over 20 years & that she's usually right. I've been Googling TONS of stories of people being told one thing at their NT scan & seeing different results at their 20 week scan. I have an elective gender scan coming up on 4/30 and I will be 15+3 (with baby most likely measuring at 14+6) and I'm having 10 of my friends present and I have a feeling they'll all moan in disappointment if it's yet again another boy, LOL! Ultimately, yes, a healthy baby is what's important, but I'm kind of driving myself crazy with the thought that it might not turn out to be what I'd hoped for. The tech closed saying that there's still a very small possibility that the genitals could still be swollen and may retract, and I'm definitely praying for that! I sure hope she was wrong.

I wouldn't trust a 12 week ultrasound (as far as the sex goes) for a second. It's way too early to tell.

That being said, this post makes me all kinds of uncomfortable. You're actually going nuts with the thought it might be a boy? You realize however hard you're hoping for a girl, and despite all your friends "rooting" for a girl, there's still a 50% chance it won't be? If your friends ACTUALLY "moan in disappointment" if it's a boy, you needs to get new friends because that's incredibly messed up. 

This. Also, if you're going to be very disappointed if it's a boy, do you really want 10 friends there?  Maybe I'm a bad friend, but I'd much rather go to a gender reveal with cake and punch than hang out at an ultrasound place. 

kmalls

@FemShep sent you a PM.

cbamama641

I would put 0% trust in a 12+ week ultrasound based on a tech's guess. Last pregnancy I had a terrible time trusting the tech at 16 weeks even.  I'd definitely wait until the later ultrasound for any type of confirmation and even then, I'd probably just have it be my husband and myself, or my kids, my husband and myself.  If you think your friends are going to be disappointed, it's going to make it worse for you.  I personally wouldn't want to deal with that. Good luck at your ultrasound!

kmvisioli

Agree with pp that this post makes me sad and uncomfortable, and I probably would not bring friends to my u/s if everyone is going to feed your feelings of disappointment. That said, 12 weeks is way too early to be sure about the sex. Also would like to caution you that early "girl" predictions are more often mistaken than "boy" guesses on u/s, so I would have a hard time trusting any guess until 17-20wks unless it is super obvious.

BoyMom44

As a boy mom this makes me sad. If your friends/family make you feel bad about having a boy then they are crummy. If you wanted to pick your child's gender then you should have opted for elective IFV.

You just keep googling your way to thinking you are having a girl. That will at least maybe make you feel better until they confirm you are in fact probably having a boy. 

SuperNerd42

I agree that if your friends/family would be disappointed with a boy over a girl then to not invite them to the ultrasound. No one needs that, regardless of which way you are hoping. 

I am quite obviously in the superminority on this, but I don't think it's the end of the world to have a boy/girl preference and a moment of disappointment doesn't mean you won't love your child. I also don't think it's all that uncommon, and that it simply isn't talked about around here since it's obviously a UO. 

For the matter or early ultrasound predictions- I wouldn't paint the room yet. Baby is still developing and is still so little that it can be hard to tell. Waiting sucks, but you'll have a better idea in a few weeks. 

coffee89

A lot of boutique places won't book you until 15 weeks for this reason. The nub is still there at 13 weeks and they are going off what's called the nub theory, basically the angle. Around 14 weeks is when it starts to become more obvious. From my research plenty of people were told the right thing, but others weren't. At this point it's 50/50.

I've got an elective at 14 weeks and I'm not sure going even that early was the best plan.

Also "boo another boy" is kinda cruddy. I'm a boy mom and I wouldn't trade it for anything and will be just and excited if this is another boy. I would rethink having your closest friends around of they are going to poo poo on your baby's sex.

kmalls

SuperNerd42 said:

I agree that if your friends/family would be disappointed with a boy over a girl then to not invite them to the ultrasound. No one needs that, regardless of which way you are hoping. 

I am quite obviously in the superminority on this, but I don't think it's the end of the world to have a boy/girl preference and a moment of disappointment doesn't mean you won't love your child. I also don't think it's all that uncommon, and that it simply isn't talked about around here since it's obviously a UO. 

For the matter or early ultrasound predictions- I wouldn't paint the room yet. Baby is still developing and is still so little that it can be hard to tell. Waiting sucks, but you'll have a better idea in a few weeks. 

I actually agree with you, and I don't think anything is wrong with having slight hopes the baby is one sex versus another. I also think it's totally normal to have "a moment of disappointment" or needing a few minutes to adjust to the news if the baby is not what you were thinking it would be.

This OP is not talking about that, though. She is literally praying it's not a boy, and is "driving herself nuts" over the thought that it might not be what she hopes it to be. That isn't just a moment of disappointment. 

Michi1382

I have to say that I think it would be terrible of your "friends" to groan if the baby turns out to be a boy. If there are a lot of baby boys, then there are a lot of baby boys and that's no one's "fault" for lack of a better word. I agree with @SuperNerd42 in that it's okay to have a slight preference and a small moment of disappointment if the sex turns out to be the opposite of what you were hoping for but it seems that you are praying for no boy and are putting a lot of emphasis on what others want you to birth as opposed to what you might really want. If they want a girl so badly, let them go try to have her. But you're driving yourself crazy over this and it has exceeded a "small moment of disappointment" now. 

ByeBabyBunting

your boy may decide he wants to be a girl some day, and vice versa. Kids are going to
be who they are no matter what's between their legs. I hope and pray for a good sleeper, it's way more important IMHO.

queen_frostine

You feel your feelings. Those are not things you control, so don't let anyone make you feel bad for them. That said, of course you love your baby just the way it is and definitely treat it like you do, no matter what. But... try to calm down about things you can't control, and things you have to wait for. We're all getting antsy waiting for that next ultrasound, the test results, etc etc. 

And guys who are ragging on her, seriously? She's not saying boys aren't awesome. I don't know her plans, but if this is the fifth kid, it may very well be her last chance to ever have a girl. Yes, it is perfectly reasonable to get worked up over possibly missing out on that. It doesn't mean she loves her existing boys or this one, if it is a boy, any less. My mom always says she wishes she had more children. It doesn't mean she wasn't happy with the ones she had.

laurenandbby

So 15 weeks 2 days I did my elective gender scan and my tech said the dead give away for girl was the shape of the pubic bone. She told me a boy couldn't even have the pubic bone my baby was showing, so I definitely trusted her. Experienced techs have their tells outside of boy parts or lack of boy parts. I would ask your tech why she predicts the gender and how certain she is.

krzyriver

I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting one a bit more than the other, but it's the way the OP said it that rubbed me the wrong way. Honestly, I doubt real friends would groan in disappointment. That seems like she's projecting. And the fact that she's driving herself crazy that things won't turn out like she hoped? Lots of things won't turn out like you might hope when it comes to kids. They might struggle in school or fall in with a bad crowd or develop bad habits that could affect their future. Those are the kinds of things that keep me up at night. The sex of my baby doesn't matter. I will love it no matter what. And while I'm driving myself crazy guessing while I wait, I would never be disappointed if I guessed wrong. Just my two cents.

BoyMom44

The entire post is written dramatically. 40 people are really THAT concerned about your child's gender? She's "praying" for the genital to retract to change. It's one thing to have a gender preference but to think that many people are really that invested in the future gender of your children is really ridiculous. 

Had she come on here and asked if anyone got a wrong gender guess at the NT scan that would be one thing. The details she added made people comment the way they did. 

MzOro82214

RainMira9e, you said perfectly what I was trying to express. I love my boys with ALL my heart and I wouldn't change anything and at all and if God decided to bless us with another boy now then I would love him all the same. I was only hoping for a princess 'cause I've been dreaming about it since last year when we were actively TTC and had an early loss. If this one IS a girl, I will most likely not try for any more children, whereas if it's a boy, I might consider shooting for a girl in another 2-3 years. We got over 180 likes for our announcement picture and I'm totally not lying, @BoyMom44, we had roughly 50 comments congratulating us & about 40 that said things about , "hope you guys get your girl." I have awesome friends actually and even if we all do groan at the ultrasound, the next words out of my mouth will be, "Now I need help with picking a boy name" and will be smiling. I want to bring blue and pink cupcakes and pass out the corresponding ones afterwards.

I'm kinda shocked my words got taken so literal here! Yes, I am praying baby turns out to be a girl but like I said before, a healthy boy will be as much loved as a baby girl would. I'll make sure to fully consider my exact wording next time I decide to open a thread. **smh**

MzOro82214

kmalls said:

@FemShep sent you a PM.

It's not showing any in my inbox.

krzyriver

@MzOro82214 You have to take into consideration the fact that you're posting on a board with many different people who have all taken many different paths to get here. I've been trying to have a baby for 4 years, had 3 losses, and then went through a year and a half of fertility treatments. And some women on here have been through much more than that. We're praying for a BABY. Just one healthy baby that we'll get to hold. So praying for a certain gender is ridiculous to us because we would give anything to just have a baby, something many of us were starting to think we would never have. It's why many of us came to The Bump in the first place, for support while TTGP. That is why posts like these are often received this way and we've all been in this BMB long enough now that I'm surprised people are still surprised by this. It's nothing personal, but considering the audience, it definitely should have been worded differently.

Mom987

At 12 weeks with my first we had an u/s and they could definitely tell it was a boy 

heatherperkins14

The problem I see here is that (some people in) this community are not super supportive. If you don't have anything nice to say... Well you know the rest. Everyone has different situations and it's unfair to project your past onto her. It doesn't apply to her and as someone TTC for a long time I don't take any offense to her desire to have a girl. She has FOUR boys and just wants her little girl. No shame in that. That doesn't mean she doesn't want a healthy baby. Or that she is ungrateful for this blessing. Get your pregnancy rage in check ladies.

Editted for grammar 

mrszoess

I'm failing to see pregnancy rage. the wording wasn't exactly positive and people are entitled to their opinions. that's the beauty of the Internet. nowhere in the TOU does it day we all have to be sunshine and rainbows all day. 

I'm glad you have your opinion and mine is that there is no place for people groaning about a sex of a baby during someone else's pregnancy. if you personally are a bit set on one sex or the other that's fine, but don't get other people involved in the actual moment of the ultrasound because that's bound to cause problems and I personally find it tacky. 

brb checking pregnancy rage...

krzyriver

@heatherperkins14 This community IS super supportive. Part of being supportive is being sensitive to other people's situations. It's an online community and many people have said many times over, you can't post something and then get upset at the response you get. She posted a thread, people were uncomfortable with it. And neither you or her is allowed to tell us how we're supposed to feel about it. Posts like this have been getting reactions like this since we all started this BMB, so I don't see why anyone is shocked by this reaction.

FemShep

krzyriver said:

@heatherperkins14 This community IS super supportive. Part of being supportive is being sensitive to other people's situations. It's an online community and many people have said many times over, you can't post something and then get upset at the response you get. She posted a thread, people were uncomfortable with it. And neither you or her is allowed to tell us how we're supposed to feel about it. Posts like this have been getting reactions like this since we all started this BMB, so I don't see why anyone is shocked by this reaction.

Yup.  @heatherperkins14Posts like this have been getting similar reactions since the start of the Internet. That's the great thing about public forums, they will call you on your silliness.  That's not being unsupportive, it's being honest. 

And if if you think this is "pregnancy rage", you need to get out more.  

kmalls

heatherperkins14 said:

The problem I see here is that (some people in) this community are not super supportive. If you don't have anything nice to say... Well you know the rest. Everyone has different situations and it's unfair to project your past onto her. It doesn't apply to her and as someone TTC for a long time I don't take any offense to her desire to have a girl. She has FOUR boys and just wants her little girl. No shame in that. That doesn't mean she doesn't want a healthy baby. Or that she is ungrateful for this blessing. Get your pregnancy rage in check ladies.

Editted for grammar 

@heatherperkins14 - I guess I'm confused as to what we're supposed to be "super supportive" of in this post? What's the right response, in your eyes? Should we have said "oh my god your 12 week ultrasound was TOTALLY WRONG and you're DEFINITELY having a girl. No worries! Your friends will be so happy!" 

I mean, personally I posted that I wouldn't put any stock in an early ultrasound in the first place. But from my point of view, the rest of her commentary made me uncomfortable. Is that opinion less valid than something "super supportive?" 

celette482

We're all girls in the beginning.

#oversimplification #ilovedtellingmylittlebrotherthat

12 weeks is just too early, 15 seems borderline. And the only couple I knew who got the opposite of what they were told expected a girl and got a boy. That's just an n=1 of course.

coffee89

@celette482  incorrect. Sperm decides sex at conception, hense blood tests finding gender before there is a penis or vagina. The penis and clitoris start out from the same "nub" but no boy starts life as a girl.

Piperella

coffee89 said:

@celette482  incorrect. Sperm decides sex at conception, hense blood tests finding gender before there is a penis or vagina. The penis and clitoris start out from the same "nub" but no boy starts life as a girl.

Not to mention those that go through IVF may have PGS testing that tells us the sex of the 3-5 day embryos... 

mrszoess

it's not "too early". my mfm is the head of fetal medicine in my state and was able to give us the sex of the baby (although for liability he then told me not to go shopping until my next appt) it depends on quality of the machine, position of the baby, and pure luck at 12 weeks to make sure he baby is in the right spot 

celette482

If we're talking about genetics, determined at conception If we're talking about the hormones that lead to male or female genitalia, kicks in around 6 weeks. If we're talking about gender, that's age 3.

booksandicecream

Sorry guys,  @celette482 is correct - all embryos develop as females until the SRY gene turns on in males. There's even a disorder where the gene doesn't turn on and a genetic male develops as a female. It's called Swyer Syndrome. 

celette482

Epigenetics: it's cool!

UponAStar16

So are you girls trying to say...that it's too late for MH and MIL insisting on calling the baby "he"....to make a possible innie turn into an outie??? 

TurtleMomma

@celette482
@books&icecream 

Both beat me to the genetics behind the birds and the bees! I love you both and my science heart is bursting to be surrounded by such superb nerdery!

TurtleMomma

Oh, and let's not even think about other sex chromosomal abnormalities, like XXX or XXY

TheBorg7of9

MzOro82214 said:

RainMira9e, you said perfectly what I was trying to express. I love my boys with ALL my heart and I wouldn't change anything and at all and if God decided to bless us with another boy now then I would love him all the same. I was only hoping for a princess 'cause I've been dreaming about it since last year when we were actively TTC and had an early loss. If this one IS a girl, I will most likely not try for any more children, whereas if it's a boy, I might consider shooting for a girl in another 2-3 years. We got over 180 likes for our announcement picture and I'm totally not lying, @BoyMom44, we had roughly 50 comments congratulating us & about 40 that said things about , "hope you guys get your girl." I have awesome friends actually and even if we all do groan at the ultrasound, the next words out of my mouth will be, "Now I need help with picking a boy name" and will be smiling. I want to bring blue and pink cupcakes and pass out the corresponding ones afterwards.

I'm kinda shocked my words got taken so literal here! Yes, I am praying baby turns out to be a girl but like I said before, a healthy boy will be as much loved as a baby girl would. I'll make sure to fully consider my exact wording next time I decide to open a thread. **smh**

I'm so sorry you are friends with 40 a-holes.

Sally1990

When I was pregnant with my 2nd I had a friend who was told at her 20 week scan it was a boy, well she delivered a girl. So for the next 4-5 scans I had I made them check to see if mine was still a girl like they said at my 18 week scan. I know a lot don't like to guess at 12 ish weeks bc it's too early. I would wait until you anatomy scan before you buy anything or tell a lot of people. 

Schell2013

Just like everyone says I also wouldn't worry. They place I'm going to find out next week won't even try to determine it until your 15 weeks along. 

aboleary34

Our baby looked ALL boy on Thursday at 12w 6days.  Our tech said she will not say a gender at this stage.  Boys and girls look almost the same.  She said she would say 60/40 it's a boy but but NO blue yet!  I the started googling and she is right I wouldn't trust anything that early.