January 2016 Moms
maureenmce
member
Am I being unreasonable?
maureenmce
member
Okay, so let me preface this by saying I'm suffering from postpartum anxiety and I no longer am 100% sure if concerns are reasonable or stem from that. But anyway, here's the issue. We live in an apartment building and a couple months ago a lady moved in next door as a caretaker for the elderly couple that lives there. She is a heavy smoker. Second hand smoke is a major risk factor for SIDS. SIDS is one of my top anxieties and I only recently have been able to sleep at all while LO sleeps due to that fear.
Anyway, the lady started smoking in our laundry room, closing the door and making the entire room smell of smoke, including some of the clothes. The laundry room is also directly next to our unit (we share a wall) and the nursery window is inches away from the laundry room window. I realized what was happening as I was rocking the baby with the window open and realized the entire nursery smelled of smoke, and went to investigate. So, my husband emailed our apartment manager asking if she could stop smoking in the laundry room. They asked her to stop, she complied, and I thought all was resolved!
Well, now she is smoking in front of her door, which is... also in front of our door. It's literally like 12 inches away. So, most times when I come and go with our LO in the stroller, we have to walk through a cloud of smoke to leave or come back to the apartment. Okay, that sucks, but it's momentary. But what I realized today is that if my husband ever opens the window to our bathroom, to vent the room after a shower, and forgets to close it, since the window is right next to our door, literally all of her cigarette smoke pours into the bathroom and the nursery, which are located at the front of the apartment. I realized this tonight when, again, I was rocking LO, realized the entire nursery smelled like smoke, and went into the bathroom to find my husband had left the window open.
Now, because of my anxiety (in therapy, but not medicated yet) I am just in a downward spiral about this. I know the severity of my reaction (shaking, tears, etc.) is related to the anxiety, but is my course of action reasonable? I want to email our apartment managers again and request that she stop smoking in front of our door and instead, smoke in her unit (this is allowed), on her balcony (also allowed) or in the gigantic open air patio on the floor below, which is outfitted with several tables, chairs and an ashtray, as well as plenty of air for the smoke to dissipate instead of funneling into someone's apartment.
So, am I being reasonable? Or should I just accept walking in and out of the apartment will likely be in a cloud of smoke and that I can't ever open the window to the bathroom? Thank you so much for any feedback, I am just a shaking ball of stress about this.
Anyway, the lady started smoking in our laundry room, closing the door and making the entire room smell of smoke, including some of the clothes. The laundry room is also directly next to our unit (we share a wall) and the nursery window is inches away from the laundry room window. I realized what was happening as I was rocking the baby with the window open and realized the entire nursery smelled of smoke, and went to investigate. So, my husband emailed our apartment manager asking if she could stop smoking in the laundry room. They asked her to stop, she complied, and I thought all was resolved!
Well, now she is smoking in front of her door, which is... also in front of our door. It's literally like 12 inches away. So, most times when I come and go with our LO in the stroller, we have to walk through a cloud of smoke to leave or come back to the apartment. Okay, that sucks, but it's momentary. But what I realized today is that if my husband ever opens the window to our bathroom, to vent the room after a shower, and forgets to close it, since the window is right next to our door, literally all of her cigarette smoke pours into the bathroom and the nursery, which are located at the front of the apartment. I realized this tonight when, again, I was rocking LO, realized the entire nursery smelled like smoke, and went into the bathroom to find my husband had left the window open.
Now, because of my anxiety (in therapy, but not medicated yet) I am just in a downward spiral about this. I know the severity of my reaction (shaking, tears, etc.) is related to the anxiety, but is my course of action reasonable? I want to email our apartment managers again and request that she stop smoking in front of our door and instead, smoke in her unit (this is allowed), on her balcony (also allowed) or in the gigantic open air patio on the floor below, which is outfitted with several tables, chairs and an ashtray, as well as plenty of air for the smoke to dissipate instead of funneling into someone's apartment.
So, am I being reasonable? Or should I just accept walking in and out of the apartment will likely be in a cloud of smoke and that I can't ever open the window to the bathroom? Thank you so much for any feedback, I am just a shaking ball of stress about this.
Re: Am I being unreasonable?
@Hipshaker - You are totally right that the SIDS risk is for the level of exposure you're talking about, not just casual, short term second hand smoke. I totally needed to be reminded of that because my anxiety takes a teeny tiny risk and makes it huge and scary. Thank you!
Overall, I think I'll just shoot the apartment managers a friendly email making my request and, if it doesn't work out, and look into getting an air purifier. (And try not to freak out about it overall!) Thanks for the feedback guys!
I totally understand about the anxiety, too. I've dealt with mild anxiety/stress problems for years, and was in therapy for a short while. Just remember you are not alone and never be afraid to reach out and talk to friends or family! Hope things get better