Recent loss/Introduction

AandDM2014

Hey there ladies! I'm bummed to be meeting you all here, but glad that this community is so supportive!

A bit about my journey: (I have no insurance coverage for infertility treatment, but do for all things pregnancy related) We've been trying for over 2 years to get pregnant and were finally able to thanks to a third IVF (FET) transfer. Things were going well at my weekly ultrasound appointments. Baby was consistently measuring behind by 2-3 days, but my doc wasn't concerned, so I wasn't either. I went in for my first OB appointment on 4/4 and had a quick, crappy ultrasound and saw a heartbeat. We then went in on 4/8 for what should have been out 10 week and final ultrasound with our RE, only to find out there was no growth and no heartbeat. That day I emailed my nurse at my OBs office and asked her what my options would be through them. I went in on 4/11, had another ultrasound where they confirmed no "cardiac activity" and was luckily able to schedule a D&C for 4/12. I picked up all my meds after my 4/11 appointment and mentally prepared myself for the following day. I'm very lucky that my husband has an extremely flexible job and was able to accompany me to the D&C.

It was a... not easy, but not hard, not pain free, but not super painful experience. It is kind of hard to explain. I teared up a bit talking with the doc by myself before I went into the procedure room, but I felt emotionally okay after that. I am so unbelievable thankful that I was able to do it, and do it quickly. I also asked the doctor who did it if I could look and see what they had sucked out, and it kinda helped me feel better. It didn't look like anything other than a weird mass of tissue.

I was also given a medicine to take for 3 days that will help with bleeding, and so far I haven't had much. I have had some pain, and have had to take Norco (hydrocodone and acetaminophen) and extra strength ibuprofen, but overall I feel okay. I was even able to do some grocery shopping today (with DH in tow of course, since I can't drive while on opioids) which helped me feel a bit more normal.

I know several people IRL who have had at least one miscarriage, so I'm not totally alone, but it is nice to have this online community.


I hope that everyone who reads this, and even those who don't but experience a loss, are able to find peace, and someday happiness.

BrightenMySky

Hello, I am sorry for your loss.  Although none of us want to be here, this is a great and supportive community, so welcome.  I also know several people IRL who have had miscarriages, but I found that the support from this board was a bit different.  I find people here to be very good about not assuming everyone's experience is like their own.  We all speak from our own experiences, but everyone goes through things differently, I was actually needing to step back from talking too much with some people IRL that have issues with that boundary.  I hope your physical recovery is quick.  

Spartanrd4

I am sorry for your loss, I have found this community very healing. I don't know many people (that I know of) that are going through what I am and everyone here is so supportive- its a safe space to vent, tell your story and help others while helping yourself. I wish you didn't have to join this club, take care of yourself. 

Wishilivedinflorida

I am really sorry for your loss, especially after struggling to conceive. I'm glad to hear your procedure and recovery are going as smoothly as they can be. This is an excellent place to find support. 

One thing...a D&C/D&E for MMC is not the same as an elective abortion and is a medical procedure offered (regardless of legality of elective abortion) to treat a variety of medical conditions. You may want to be careful when saying this sort of thing on the loss boards. I wouldn't want any other loss moms here to feel that they "aborted" their baby (regardless of anyone's stance on elective abortion). If you want to use the term in the most accurate medical sense, a MMC is an abortion in and of itself, albeit a physiologic one. The D&C removes the "products of conception" if the provider feels this is necessary. 

That being said, please do stick around. I have found this to be the only place where I can talk frankly about loss and have people truly understand. 

roxgibbons

I'm so sorry for your loss and past losses. This board has been a great source of support and it's really helped me through the process.

AandDM2014

Thank you @Wishilivedinflorida, I did not know that difference. I will definitely be careful about my wording from now on!

Hopefulmommy1980

I am sorry for your loss. This board is a really nice place to express how you are feeling. It has helped to validate my feeling and let me know I am not alone.