Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss


I've been lurking for a few days, but figured it was time to introduce myself. I used to post quite a bit on TB when my son (now 5) was first born, but haven't been on in a few years. I'm struggling with our recent losses and am hoping connecting with others who "get it" will help me figure out how to move forward. We TTC for two years and the day we were going to meet with a specialist I found out I was pregnant. During the anatomy scan at 21 weeks we learned that we had just lost our son, likely the week prior. I had to have a D&E, waited some months and TTC again. After a few cycles I was pregnant. I went for a scan at 8 weeks (the first scan my DH was able to attend since he was away for work for every other one) and there was no heartbeat. Baby was measuring the right size, so my OB thought it happened recently. I had a D&C on Monday and I just trying to get through the fog of it all. I really just can't make sense of it all and am trying to put one foot in front of the other, but I'm really struggling to wrap my head around it all. I'm sorry to "meet" the rest of you in these circumstances, but I'm grateful for the support here (even before I've posted!). 

Re: Intro

  • I am so sorry for your losses. I have found this board so helpful going through my loss and grief process. I hope you do as well and reach out when you need to. Wishing you strength during this difficult time. 
     ****TW: Pregnancy, loss and children mentioned****
    Me (39) DH (40) 
    From my first marriage DD: 03/04 CP:01/06 DS:12/06 
    DH- no kids
    TTC: since 2/15, RE Consult 9/15
    IUI #1 10/15: Letrozole = BFN 
    IUI #2 11/15: Letrozole + trigger = BFN
    1/08/16: Surprise- BFP!!  2/16/16: MMC @10w 2days,  D&C: 2/17/16
    TTCAL: May 2016
    IUI #3 5/27/16: Letrozole+trigger=BFN
    IUI #4 06/24/16: 7.5mg Letrozole+trigger= BFN
    IUI#5 08/24/16 Menopur+trigger = BFN
    IUI #6 09/19/16 5 mg Letrozole +Menopur + Trigger= BFN
    **10/2016: No more medicated cycles, TTCAL on our own**
    12/03/16: BFP!! EDD: 08/12/17 It's a girl!! 
    Eleni was born on 8/14/17!!
  • I'm sorry we have to "meet" under circumstances like these, it's a horrible thing to go through. Everything you're feeling is completely normal, I just went through my 3rd loss and it just feels like a horrible nightmare, I can't wrap my head around it. After I lost my son at 21 weeks I went through an awful period of depression and therapy. After I made it to 16 weeks with this pregnancy and saw my little boy, I was finally letting myself enjoy being pregnant again, my sister had even convinced me to throw me a baby shower, I didn't want one because before with my son I had bought so many things and after he didn't make it, I was stuck with all the clothes and blankets, bouncer, I just donated everything because I couldn't see it in my closet, it crushed me. 

    Therapy helped me so much, this is what I took: Take your time to grief and mourn your baby, it's ok to cry inconsolably, fall apart, the time will come to put yourself back together. Lean on those close to you, your partner, your family, your friends, you are not alone. This community also helped me a lot. Be kind to yourself. Hugs. 

    I'm 29, husband is 30
    Together since 2006
    Married 01.17.15  <3

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

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  • I am so sorry for your losses.  
    About me:
    /loss mentioned/
    TTC#1 July 2014
    dx: MFI (morphology)
    IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
    hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
    1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w 
    d&c, followed by cytotec
    TTCAL April 2016
    IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
    IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
    IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
  • So sorry for your losses, we are here for you....I hope you find comfort here.
  • I'm so very sorry for your loss. I don't think it ever gets easier. I find it (somewhat) helpful to lay in bed by myself and have a good cry. No one has to see or hear it, so it doesn't matter how long you cry or how red your nose gets.

    I like being able to get away from DH to cry, because as much as he loves me and wants a baby, he wasn't quite as invested in the pregnancy as I was, as there wasn't much for him to do (other than go to drs appointments with me and give me daily injections). I feel like he isn't as upset as me, or as I'd like him to be, so getting away from him, even just for a few minutes to cry, is helpful.

    I hope you find something that helps make you feel better (I personally enjoy snuggles with my kitty and watching her "hunt" birds on our balcony).
    About us:
    Me - 28, Lean PCOS
    DH - 31
    Married June 2010, TTC since March 2014
    Blog: ourbinarystar.com

    FET cycle #3 Transfer July 28th 2016, Triplets born healthy on February 26th 2017 at 33w1d!

  • I am sorry for you loss. I think these boards help bc there are people who have experienced similar things.  It has helped me not feel so alone
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