STM+: What is one strange aspect of labor/delivery that you were concerned about?

bearsandbeets7

Example: 

For some reason as a FTM when I thought about l/d one thing that had me really concerned was the thought of getting a catheter once I got an epidural. I have no idea why and didn't consider that I wouldn't even feel the catheter being inserted because of the epidural. 

JLyn821

Honestly, I don't really remember. We went to our birthing classes right when I hit 3rd tri and that took away any concerns I had. Our instructor took us through everything that happens and what to expect. She was pretty detailed. I left our classes excited and not concerned or fearful.

If anything, I just didn't know how my body would be. I went med-free and you can only prepare so much for that.

bananers

I was afraid of pooping while pushing. I think that's a common fear, though. But right before it was time to push, without me even mentioning anything, my nurse gave me a poop pep talk. She acknowledged that many women fear pooping during delivery, but that she's seen it all in her 30 years of being a L&D nurse and she said most women do poop. In fact, she told me she wanted me to poop because that means I'm pushing correctly. Right before it was go time she looked me in the eye and said "remember, I want you to poop!" LOL. I had an epidural so to this day I have no idea whether I did or not, and I've never asked, but that pep talk made me realize it was nothing to fear and I pushed like I was actively trying to poop. I think that talk was just what I needed to remove any inhibition so I could push effectively. 

Katienu

We opted out of birthing classes and didn't bother with a birth plan. The only thing my husband was certain about was that he didnt want to be involved. He wanted to stay above the waste and watch from a distance. Well it was the middle of the night and she was coming out and there was only one nurse in the room. The doc said, "Dad grab a knee until the other nurse arrives."  His worst nightmare. 

Well he did it and he was VERY proud of himself. It still gives us a good laugh. 

ginger819

Lynnlove28 said:

Example: 

For some reason as a FTM when I thought about l/d one thing that had me really concerned was the thought of getting a catheter once I got an epidural. I have no idea why and didn't consider that I wouldn't even feel the catheter being inserted because of the epidural. 

For some reason I had never even thought of the catheter. I wasn't really worried about much (I couldn't let myself get worked up about any one thing or I would have been freaking out). I tried to just not worry. This time though I'm remembering the contractions afterwards and the nurses pushing on my uterus. Most of all I'm thinking about the catheter. I had to have one for two days because I was swollen (just a heads up to other red heads or red tinted haired women my nurse said red heads usually swell more and more often need the extra time on the catheter and I just have a red tint) and that was probably the worst, getting it taken out and put back in. 
Funny that the things I'm most worried about this time around is after labor and delivery. 

karlimonster

The catheter freaked me OUT! I actually had a student nurse with a very mean nurse shadowing her insert it. That should have made me more nervous, but I felt so bad for the girl it actually relaxed me. And of course I couldn't feel a thing.

Last time was an unplanned c-section, this time we hope for VBAC but have a planned c-section. So I'm a little anxious thinking about experiencing something I have no clue on and also re-experiencing the unpleasant things that come with a c-section. Feels lose-lose, but the baby is a win!

bananers

Katienu said:

We opted out of birthing classes and didn't bother with a birth plan. The only thing my husband was certain about was that he didnt want to be involved. He wanted to stay above the waste and watch from a distance. Well it was the middle of the night and she was coming out and there was only one nurse in the room. The doc said, "Dad grab a knee until the other nurse arrives."  His worst nightmare. 

Well he did it and he was VERY proud of himself. It still gives us a good laugh. 

LOL. DH turned green and looked like he might faint when the nurse asked him to grab a leg so I had to hold my OWN damn leg. I still give him a hard time about that. I'm pretty sure he looked the other way until the baby was out. Lol. 

cm716

I've done a lot of these. I had a cath after my first. My epidural hadn't worn off with my first and the nurse asked me if I needed to pee. I told her that I wasn't sure and she went and put a catheter in me just in case.good thing because it was full. It was only in for a minute or two and wasn't a big deal.

Last time I pooped on the delivery table. And I didn't even care. They have to wipe you off anyway and I always remind myself that they've probably seen worse than me.

I had one birth with epi and one med free. I shook really really badly after my med free and that sucked because they wouldn't let me hold my daughter again until it stopped. 

As a ftm i was really  worried they would take my daughter out of the room to weigh her and clean her off etc. I made my husband promise that if they took her away that he would leave me and follow her. It ended up being a non-issue as they weighed and cleaned her in the room but as an FTM I was super worked up about it.

mumblefrog86

I was freaking out about the size of the epidural needle. I was so worked up over it because I hate needles. Well I had the worst back labour with no breaks in between contractions so by the time the goddess anesthesiologist came in and placed the epidural I actually asked her if she had done it yet because a contraction was coming and she was like it is in and I'd have about a contraction and a half then have relief. I was shocked I didn't even feel the needle. 

Bookhousegirl

Definitely pooping, which I totally did. It was silly to be worried about it though, because I didn't even know I did (DH of course had to tell me) and I wouldn't have cared in that moment anyway. They are constantly moving stuff in and out of that area and cleaning things off to see how the baby's progressing, that it's all a big blur of movement anyway. 

bananers

mumblefrog86 said:

I was freaking out about the size of the epidural needle. I was so worked up over it because I hate needles. Well I had the worst back labour with no breaks in between contractions so by the time the goddess anesthesiologist came in and placed the epidural I actually asked her if she had done it yet because a contraction was coming and she was like it is in and I'd have about a contraction and a half then have relief. I was shocked I didn't even feel the needle. 

This! I was afraid of the needle at first but I would have let them stick me with 100 of those suckers if it meant I didn't have to go through another contraction!!

Also, @cm716reminded me of another. I was irrationally afraid of nurses sabotaging my breastfeeding dreams by shoving pacifiers and bottles at my baby. So I took it upon myself to remind everyone that we planned to breastfeed and did not want pacifiers or bottles near my baby without my consent. I think I had had the fear of God put in me by breastfeeding activists, that hospitals were formula pushers and not to be trusted. In reality, the doctors and staff were all very pro-breastfeeding and even sent a lactation consultant to my room twice, and had a policy of not giving babies formula or pacifiers unless requested by the parents. In other words, they default to BFing unless told otherwise. 

Edit: tagged the wrong poster. 

Ceventa

I've always been the type of person that hated needles, dreaded going to the gyno because of the exams, and was shy about my body in front of people. While giving birth I pretty much had every one of those fears addressed. I got an IV and an epidural, I had multiple people with their hands inside of me, I was pretty much naked in front of multiple people who all got a good look at my business, and I pooped during delivery. So now I'm pretty much like,


Now my only concern is how much will I tear? and will the baby latch as well as DS did? Of course this is assuming that I don't have any complications like the first time around.

bearsandbeets7

@Ceventa I'm the same way, I've always been very modest but pregnancy takes that luxury away! I wore 2 hospital gowns while in labor, one in the front and one in the back. They took me back for my csection and they had me completely naked from my boobs down laying on the table waiting with 10-15 people walking all around the operating room preparing for the surgery. 

SkiChic626

I did not want to be induced....and, of course, I was, and still ended up with a c-section.  This time I'm just nervous about all the things I know about the actual c-section like being naked and exposed while they prep and having too much time to think about the actual surgery.  Last time I didn't know any of those logistical things and once we decided enough was enough time for a c-section I didn't have time to really think about the actual surgery.  

Bookhousegirl

My worries are different this time, but I actually feel like I'm more worried for this labor. I think it's because I know what to expect and I'm scared to go through it again. Anyone else feeling this way?

Curls919

Bookhousegirl said:

My worries are different this time, but I actually feel like I'm more worried for this labor. I think it's because I know what to expect and I'm scared to go through it again. Anyone else feeling this way?

I had a really easy labor & delivery (aside from him coming early). I had pain during contractions but the epidural came once i couldn't bear it anymore. And I did puke twice. But the delivery & recovery was pretty easy. I am so scared about it not going as smoothly this time!

mumblefrog86

@Bookhousegirl I am terrified of labour again. I had 27 hours of back labour it was horrible!! I pushed for 3 hours! and tore pretty bad.

Katienu

Curls919 said:

Bookhousegirl said:

My worries are different this time, but I actually feel like I'm more worried for this labor. I think it's because I know what to expect and I'm scared to go through it again. Anyone else feeling this way?

I had a really easy labor & delivery (aside from him coming early). I had pain during contractions but the epidural came once i couldn't bear it anymore. And I did puke twice. But the delivery & recovery was pretty easy. I am so scared about it not going as smoothly this time!

Yes to both of these. I was so lucky with my first that I'm terrified that it's going to be horrible or I may need a c-section

JLyn821

Bookhousegirl said:

My worries are different this time, but I actually feel like I'm more worried for this labor. I think it's because I know what to expect and I'm scared to go through it again. Anyone else feeling this way?

I sort of feel this way. More that I don't know what to expect in terms of labor starting. My water broke with DS and contractions didn't start for a few hours after that and we were already at the hospital. If my water doesn't break, I'm concerned I won't know when to go to the hospital. I went med-free with DS and so I remember what transition felt like but I feel like that was the only hard part. Being 30 minutes from my hospital, I'm worried we'll be heading to the hospital either way too early or during transition.

PeachGal23

@Bookhousegirl YES - totally!!

I was really fortunate that my first L&D, even as a scheduled induction, was a total breeze, but now I know exactly what to expect and don't have the "ignorance is bliss" kind of attitude as before.  Sure I did the birth class and read everything under the sun to prepare, but you really don't know it until you've been through it.

I was nervous about getting the epidural (which was nothing and painless!), nervous about tearing and being stitched up (I had a 1 degree tear and 1 stitch - painless!), and afraid that I simply wouldn't know how to push (you figure that one out).  

jamiesc58

@Bookhousegirl I feel the same way! This is my fourth pregnancy. All of my labors started differently so I don't know exactly what to expect. Also, I have never had 2 babies so close together (this one will be 16 months younger then our dd) and I have heard that the closer together the births, the quicker the baby comes once labor starts. I don't know if that is true but I REALLY do not want to miss my chance for an epidural.

haboobjob

The baby classes made me feel way more prepared going into the big day and since I knew DD was not moving from breech position, I read up on c-sections and felt confident going into surgery.

My biggest fear was my water breaking in public. It actually broke while I was working at an event (30+ miles from my hospital and DH) with no vehicle to get there. I felt like I had to go to the bathroom and getting ready to sit down and it happened. I had to call my husband, who didn't answer his phone so I had to call multiple times, and tell him I needed to be picked up to go to the doctor. I only told him I lost my MP because I was too nervous about telling him my water broke and him driving erratically to come pick me up. All the while I basically spent my waiting time panicking, trying to get my stuff ready and rushing back to the bathroom gushing fluid. I always like to be super prepared and it caught me completely off guard. Thank goodness I was wearing black and that we had some blankets in the car. 

carstekj

This time around I'm concerned about the baby being lodged too high during my c/section. My 2nd was and the nurses really had to push down on my torso right below my chest. IT HURT! I wasn't numb that high.They were pushing hard and our daughter ended up getting the vacuum used on her too to get her out. I never knew stuff like that happened with a c/section. I figured it was just open you up, take the baby out, botta-bing-botta-boom. I was so knocked out during my first c/section, that I don't remember much of it.

I have a knack for having large babies (first was 8lbs 8oz at 38 weeks and 2nd was 9lbs at 39 weeks, both with +90% heads) and I'm only 5'0. DH is a big guy though and his whole family was over 10lbs and my siblings and I were all over 8lbs. ooft!

ShanRum3

I was afraid of pooping, and tearing, both of which happened to me! This being the third time around, I'm worried about my water breaking while I'm at work, (my water only broke with DS1, I was induced with DS2) and of a C-section (even though my first 2 were vaginal deliveries)

mermaidbina

The IV! I hate getting them since I have 'bad veins' and it takes min 3 tries to get one in. With DD my wrist hurt for 3 weeks after delivery and hurt much worse than down there!
This time I am refusing one in the hand and telling them to place it above my wrist since that is where they always end up anyways. 

No more Miss!

@mermaidbina
i totally hear you on this one. That iv hurt like a bitch! I apparently have no veins.
I had surgery recently and they place it in the underside of my elbow (like you're getting blood drawn). It was so much better. If I need one during labor, I'm going to try to get them to put it in the same spot. 

bearsandbeets7

@No more Miss! @mermaidbina I feel y'all on this. They had my IV in, in an extremely uncomfortable way and when they finally took it out it hurt for days. It was so tightly pressed against my hand that you could see where it had been for a few days. 

Jenniferk08

Pooping on the table was my biggest concern. Which hubby swears I didn't.  

The other was not being able to get an epidural. Thank God I got one because I was so uncomfortable at that point. 

I I thought before hand I would be concerned who was in the room. When the time came I asked my mom and hubby to stay. They each held a leg and honestly a marching band could've walked through with Fox News, CNN, and the kardashian paparazzi and I wouldn't have noticed. 

Bookhousegirl

Jenniferk08 said:

Pooping on the table was my biggest concern. Which hubby swears I didn't.  

The other was not being able to get an epidural. Thank God I got one because I was so uncomfortable at that point. 

I I thought before hand I would be concerned who was in the room. When the time came I asked my mom and hubby to stay. They each held a leg and honestly a marching band could've walked through with Fox News, CNN, and the kardashian paparazzi and I wouldn't have noticed. 

There were so many people in my room at the end (a bunch of the nurses came in because it was a slow night, and they had medical residents observing) and I didn't even care. DH was saying after that there was "quite a crowd" for the last 1/2 hr and I hadn't even noticed!

Curls919

Jenniferk08 said:

Pooping on the table was my biggest concern. Which hubby swears I didn't.  

The other was not being able to get an epidural. Thank God I got one because I was so uncomfortable at that point. 

I I thought before hand I would be concerned who was in the room. When the time came I asked my mom and hubby to stay. They each held a leg and honestly a marching band could've walked through with Fox News, CNN, and the kardashian paparazzi and I wouldn't have noticed. 

DS was born pre-term so I had the nurses, two residents and an entire nicu staff (on hand to check the baby immediately after birth). There were probably 10 people in there when j delivered. Of course my ob walked in the room shortly after he was born but that's another story...

mermaidbina

@No more Miss! yes! I know I asked them why they don't do the IV in the same place they draw blood and they say if the vein blows out  low they can keep going up the arm and trying. Ugh!

jamiesc58

@No more Miss! my doctor said the reason they don't do the IV in the inner elbow during labor and delivery is because it can get in the way when you are trying to push. She said with the amount of moving and bending most people do, it can hurt worse there.

No more Miss!

@jamiesc58
That makes sense.
Good to know!

LacieMac

Ceventa said:

I've always been the type of person that hated needles, dreaded going to the gyno because of the exams, and was shy about my body in front of people. While giving birth I pretty much had every one of those fears addressed. I got an IV and an epidural, I had multiple people with their hands inside of me, I was pretty much naked in front of multiple people who all got a good look at my business, and I pooped during delivery. So now I'm pretty much like,


Now my only concern is how much will I tear? and will the baby latch as well as DS did? Of course this is assuming that I don't ihave any complications like the first time around.

I had the same fears..exactly. I pooped twice tho haha. 

smilormarie

I was afraid of the epidural (rightfully so it turns out) and I hated the idea of a catheter (again apparently I knew my own body). So I planned a natural delivery so I wouldn't have either. I ended up with a planned c section and had a bad reaction to the spinal block and had 3-4 weeks of burning while peeing (and stomach spasms trying to get more pee out even when I was done going) because of scratching during the insertion of the catheter. If I could avoid both/either this second time around I would, but that's just not possible anymore. :-(

smilormarie

Lynnlove28 said:

@Ceventa I'm the same way, I've always been very modest but pregnancy takes that luxury away! I wore 2 hospital gowns while in labor, one in the front and one in the back. They took me back for my csection and they had me completely naked from my boobs down laying on the table waiting with 10-15 people walking all around the operating room preparing for the surgery. 

@Lynnlove28 
Oh my gosh! Yes! I didnt do any research into c sections even though I was having a planned cesearean with my first. You are wheeled in to the Or, they don't let your husband in (weird), they don't make you hunch over with your legs dangling over the bed for the spinal block - I was just sitting cross legged, then they completely undrape you and lay you down buck naked, you're spread-eagle with doctors and nurses walking all around the OR reciting your entire medical history as some nurse starts cleaning you down there and inserting the catheter before you're totally numb (even weirder). And then you start vomiting up that hideous drink they make you take to neutralize everything in your stomach (or was that just me?) all while they start the drape and get your stomach coated with iodine and try to do all this before your husband is allowed back in. And the indignity doesn't end there! Oh no no no! Don't you worry. Once you're all stitched up, they put a tarp under you and link hooks through grommets in the tarp on both sides and then a crane lifts your sorry butt onto the gurney. Yep, folks, they move you like a beached whale. But that's not so bad right? Right? Ahaha! You'd like to THINK so! (Princess brides fans may get that reference)
When they wheel you to recovery your epi has been turned off so you'd assume they would have you on IV pain meds, right? Ah, you're getting the hang of this! NOPE! They wait to start IV pain meds when you are in your hospital room and only after they confirm that you can move your lower extremities. To do this they have you wiggle your toes.  Wiggle your legs. Easy peasy. And they ask you to bend your knees, plant your feet, and lift your bottom off the bed. Ouch. Its like some weird toture experiment. Ok but you'll do anything to prove you're ready for pain meds and in the meantime you'll ask for an ice pack for your throbbing belly. And the nurse will give you a side eye for asking even though she's been asked by plenty of patients before.

Because you've had surgery, and still have a catheter and you are still bed-ridden, they don't let you get up to go to the bathroom or clean yourself or change your own pads so a nurse does this dirty deed for you (no cleaning though, just swapping out pads) and maybe just maybe, you'll be lucky enough to have a nurse pulling out a pad just as you feel a gush and you're begging her to hurry and get another pad under you and instead she's holding your knees telling you (almost encouraging you) that "this is great - you're passing clots!" All while watching down there in amazement. And you just stare at the ceiling telling yourself, 'this isn't happening, this isn't happening...'

such a glamourous process... ;-)

bearsandbeets7

@smilormarie I forgot about a lot of those details and now I'm horrified for my repeat! Although they didn't turn my epidural off until I got back to my room. My epidural wore off overnight so the next morning I was able to shower and clean. 

bananers

@smilormarie your description made me laugh. Only because there really is no easy way out, is there? Women are badass for what we endure (and often voluntarily sign up for again)!

haboobjob

@smilormarie oh no!! My experience was completely different. They put the drape up first before getting into the nitty gritty stuff so I had no idea (not that I cared after I got the spinal) I was exposed for all to see down there. I never even thought of that until I read your post.  

Mine also didn't wear off until the next morning and I didn't have to worry about proving my pain level. Brought me the pills on a schedule. They let me go to the bathroom after my catheter was removed and she needed to check it before I could flush. I just called her after I went. I had to do that 3x before she cleared me to go on my own.