We now have two healthy little girls. One is 3 years old (and not breastfeeding) and our second one is 2 month old (and breastfeeding). With my first child, I breastfed until she was 22 months old. (I believe I had post pardem depression as well with my first but never was diagnosed). With our second and my sweet two month old girl, I am struggling with breastfeeding. The mechanics...no problem. I have no problem feeding her, I have no problem with the actual physical aspect of breastfeeding. My problem is when I breastfeed, all I want to do is leave. I want to physically be as far away from breastfeeding as possible. I have an immediate shift when breastfeeding our little girl. I feel horrible for feeling this way. For the most part, when I'm done feeding her I return to being happy and adoring our little baby. But when I breastfeed, it is the most miserable 20 minutes of my hour. I am coming to absolutely hate breastfeeding her. I've started pumping and using the (breastmilk in a) bottle gives me relief but then I feel bad for not physically breastfeeding. Do you have any advice?