Getting baby to fall asleep

ekscopp

I have been rocking and soothing my baby to sleep since she was born. She is 11 weeks now. She refuses to fall asleep anywhere by herself. I have tried everything. She will just get herself all worked up and cry and then it's a struggle to get her calm and asleep. I am going back to work in 5 weeks and she will be in daycare so I am desperately trying to get her to fall asleep by herself. I bought the book Good Night, Sleep Tight by Kim West and it recommends putting the baby down drowsy but awake. When I do this, she just wakes herself up more. Any suggestions? What do you guys do? 

stephanienjer

Do you have a mobile? We have one that has a white noise setting, and the mobile part keeps her occupied until the white noise lulls her to sleep. We've successfully had this sleep pattern since about 4 weeks old. I'll leave the link to one we have. It's so successful, we got a portable mobile as well. 
https://smile.amazon.com/Game-Play-Tiny-Princess-princess/dp/B00EICH91O/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1460384874&sr=8-7&keywords=tiny+love+soothe+n+groove+mobile

mwalles

I have the same problem so I will be watching this!

cali1710

I have that problem too. I put her in drowsy and she wakes up so I put my hand on her chest and rock her until she falls asleep. And sometimes once her soother falls out she wakes right up. So annoying!! During the night I hear she wakes up and usually puts herself back to sleep but to get her to sleep is a big hoopla

ekscopp

@cali1710 hey, at least she falls back to sleep by herself when she wakes up in the middle of the night! I'm going to try to transition my LO to the crib over the next couple weeks to see if I am maybe intervening too early and if she will put herself back to sleep. Is your LO in a crib or in your room?

nackie

I have the same problem, he'll only fall asleep when nursing or in his wrap.  I've tried taking him off the boob and putting him down when he gets drowsy, but he wakes up right away and starts crying. I've tried rocking and every other method of soothing I can think of but nothing works.  I go back to work in two weeks and have no idea how the daycare lady is going to manage naps.

ctmamaoftwo

My little guy is the same way. If I put him down While drowsy he's up immediately and finds something "fascinating" whether it's just the slats on his crib and feels he needs to just start taking to them instead of sleeping. He does really well at soothing himself to sleep at night. He's STTN for the last week and a half. So I figure if he needs a little more help during the day that's fine with me because he does so well at night. 

kwentela

Same here. Baby boy has always nursed to sleep since birth at night. Naps are a continuous struggle. His favorite spot to nap is on a shoulder and even getting him to nap there is a bounce and pat and he cries and cries. Ive been trying to wrap him and put him down drowsy for naps, it usually takes a few tries and adds up to like 45 mins just to get him down for a nap bc when I lay him down drowsy he wakes up and starts screaming 

jodiedrich18

I went through this with my LO when we were first transitioning her from the RnP to her crib at 7 weeks. I've rocked and nursed her to sleep since she was born too. The white noise machine has been wonderful and we use it everyday during her bedtime routine when I get her dressed and while I rock her and she nurses before bed. When I first started putting her down after she kinds of begins to drift off drowsily while in my arms, she worked herself up right as I put her down and let me know she was not happy. I tried to be consistent and after I put her down, even if her eyes came flying open, I would rub her belly and go to the next room. I would let a couple minutes go by and check on her if she was still whimpering. If it seemed she was still hungry or was whimpering or crying louder, I would pick her back up and let her nurse for a few minutes and put her right back down. After the first few days, she goes right to sleep when I put her down the first time. She only occasionally has had difficulty going to sleep where it's taken 3 or 4 times of this response from me before she sleeps (she doesn't take a paci from me so it's got to be the boob).  Your LO really might surprise you at daycare too...my LO struggles with naps at home and I worried about daycare too. She's been there 3 weeks and regularly has a couple small naps and 1 longer one every day there. I hope it gets better...from what I've seen with my nephew and friends' LOs, every baby is different with what works. Wishing you luck, this stage is hard.

cali1710

ekscopp said:

@cali1710 hey, at least she falls back to sleep by herself when she wakes up in the middle of the night! I'm going to try to transition my LO to the crib over the next couple weeks to see if I am maybe intervening too early and if she will put herself back to sleep. Is your LO in a crib or in your room?

Shes been in her crib in her own room since 6 weeks. She was never one who liked being swaddled so she was constantly hitting the sides of the bassinet. I worry that because we feed her and rock her to sleep (the put hee in her crib and rock her by hand until she sleeps) that we are creating bad sleep habits. But I don't know what else to do. She gets so worked up sometimes!

l4rk

My LO will only fall asleep drowsy if it's dark. Nothing interesting to look at! We also say "shhhh night night shhhhhh" a few times when putting her to bed (the first time) so that she associates that with sleep. During the day when it's bright and sunny, I use a white noise app on my phone to help her sleep. 

failuretofly

We started doing 'drowsy but awake' at about 3 weeks. Not going to lie, it was a nightmare for the first few weeks.  Took us sometimes 1 1/2 hours to get him to actually stay asleep in his bassinet.  He would cry bloody murder and no amount of soothing without picking him up would help. So we'd pick him up until he was settled then put him back before he actually fell asleep. In the midst of it I remember saying to DH "whoever said you should put your baby down drowsy but awake is a f**king idiot" because it was so hard.  Until one day it was less hard. Now most days I can put him down and I never have to go back in the room. My advice would be to put LO down and leave the room.  Otherwise you end up standing over them over analyzing their every move and end up preventing them from learning to put themselves to sleep.  Follow your gut, do what feels right, but just know it sucked for some of us too and we came out the other side better off. 

ekscopp

Well at least I know I'm not alone!! @kvacmak thanks for sharing and the advice. Once I move her to the crib in her room I'll try to be more strict about it. I just hate seeing/hearing her when she gets super crazy, it breaks my heart! I know it's best in the long run but I'm dreading getting started!

kimber308

We had this problem. I, too, was worried about daycare. Whether or not you agree, we chose the cry it out method. We waited til she was drowsy and then set her down in her crib. Lights off and music on. We left the room and watched from downstairs on the monitor (it was so hard). She cried for 5-7 minutes and then fell asleep. It was HARD, but the next night it got easier and by the next weekend it was just 1-2 minutes of noises (I don't think I'd call it a cry). 

Now, I can set her down in her crib and she will put herself to sleep. Some nights there is 1-2 minutes of noise, and other nights there are no noises at all. We are really lucky CIO went this easily for us. Now we don't have to rock, bounce, or walk with her. It was one of the best parenting decisions we've made thus far. She is learning to self soothe, which is so crucial, and she sleeps so well because she can soothe! 

Good luck mamas!

jshannon83

@kimber308 how old is your daughter? Does she sleep in her crib for naps as well? 

ekscopp

@kimber308 if it was only for 5ish minutes, it would totally stick to it. Unfortunately, my LO screams for sooo much longer. The last time I tried it was 25 minutes and 3 rounds of choking before I gave up idk my heart can deal with that! 

cali1710

Does anyone know when bad sleeping habits start? I know they say you cant spoil a newborn but when does that end? I fear us rocking her to sleep will be a problem soon. I like snuggling her to sleep but think this habit needs to end. Anyone have any ways to break these habits?

teachmegs817

cali1710 said:

Does anyone know when bad sleeping habits start? I know they say you cant spoil a newborn but when does that end? I fear us rocking her to sleep will be a problem soon. I like snuggling her to sleep but think this habit needs to end. Anyone have any ways to break these habits?

Around 4 months is when many Dr. Will recommend cutting off certain things you're doing at nighttime that could create bad habits down the road. My Pedi. Asked me at our 2 month appointment if we were doing bed sharing. We don't, but she was full and ready to tell us to stop that, if we were at that age. 

DS has always been a good sleeper with the drowsy but awake method. If he cries, we soothe him with his pacifier, but it takes 4-5 minutes of rocking to get him drowsy and then we just put him down. Sometimes I rock him for only 2-3 minutes and it works well. 

Mamabeagle

ekscopp said:

@kimber308 if it was only for 5ish minutes, it would totally stick to it. Unfortunately, my LO screams for sooo much longer. The last time I tried it was 25 minutes and 3 rounds of choking before I gave up idk my heart can deal with that! 

Yeah that's far too long to let baby freak out. By that point of choking they have clearly demonstrated that they needed help soothing themselves. Sounds like you just may need to try again in a week, eventually your LO will be ready. 

kimber308

Mamabeagle said:

ekscopp said:

@kimber308 if it was only for 5ish minutes, it would totally stick to it. Unfortunately, my LO screams for sooo much longer. The last time I tried it was 25 minutes and 3 rounds of choking before I gave up idk my heart can deal with that! 

Yeah that's far too long to let baby freak out. By that point of choking they have clearly demonstrated that they needed help soothing themselves. Sounds like you just may need to try again in a week, eventually your LO will be ready. 

Any update @ekscopp ? Hope it's going better for you!

kimber308

jshannon83 said:

@kimber308 how old is your daughter? Does she sleep in her crib for naps as well? 

jshannon83 said:

@kimber308 how old is your daughter? Does she sleep in her crib for naps as well? 

Hi @jshannon83 - my daughter is 15 weeks - we started this with her probably a month ago. She does sleep in a crib for all naps! 

ekscopp

@kimber308 we are slowly making progress. She cries less and has actually taken a couple naps in her crib over the last few days. Only, she wakes up after max 45 min and that isn't enough time for her. I don't swaddle her or put her in her sleep suit so I wonder if it's her startle reflex waking her up. I was trying to keep that for the night time only so she would know the difference, but maybe that isn't the right approach? 

claireloSC

@ekscopp We started swaddling for naps and it hasn't affected my LO's nighttime sleep at all. I would say you should give it a go. 

MamaHolland

My baby sleeps in her carrier attached to my husbands chest pretty much every day & he rocks her to sleep every night then I transfer her into the bed with me during the night. Of o put her to sleep then its usually because she falls asleep nursing.  She "fights sleep" so hard. She laughs, talks, rubs her face, yanks out her pacifier, starts trying to play, fusses, anything...It can take 5 mins to get her to sleep or 45. It just depends. One time she fell asleep while we were driving home in the car but that was exactly 30 mins of horrible screaming. Eventually she will have to learn to self soothe in her crib. That's number one priority on my summer to-do list.