UO-4/7/16

michelle_shelle

This hasn't been started yet today and I am having a really ragey day so I will start it. I'm also hoping that we might make this board a little more entertaining. Thank goodness, this is a slow few days at the office.

michelle_shelle

My UO is I really don't understand the upgrading of engagement ring. I find it a little insulting to your past relationship, or maybe I'm just not getting it.

Wouldn't it be more meaningful to just buy or have one gifted on an anniversary....say your 10 year or something of the sorts. I am absolutely in love with mine, even after almost 7 years of having it and couldn't imagine insulting DH and asking for something "better". It represents where we were and how far we have come. It isn't overly fancy and I am pretty sure I know what it cost him but that's not the point of it. I said yes to that ring in that moment. Not yes, but it better get better. Yes I would eventually love to have more jewelry, but that's what Christmas, Valentine's day, birthdays or anniversary are for. 

Maybe I'm just to out of touch with trends or wtv.

bearsandbeets7

@michelle_shelle completely agree! DH picked this ring out specifically for me and then asked me to spend the rest of my life with him! I will always love my ring even if just for that reason.

My UO going along with that is I think that big expensive weddings are kind of ridiculous. Couples spend all this time and money planning a wedding and never actually think about the marriage itself. Marriage is hard work and people give up on it way too quickly in my opinion. 

michelle_shelle

@Lynnlove28 we are soul friends lol. I also agree with your stmt. A wedding is one day and half of the time the couple is too busy to appreciate it. I think tv has made it worse. We see it everywhere and start to think its the norm.

jamiesc58

@Lynnlove28 and @michelle_shelle my dh and I "eloped" just for this reason. We didn't have tons of money to spend first of all but we also didn't want to have to entertain tons and tons of people on our special day. We had a very intimate ceremony with only our mother's in the room with us. We stayed overnight in the town we were married in and didn't really do a big crazy honeymoon either. I will remember every second of our wedding and I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I was not completely overwhelmed or worried about anyone else.

Bookhousegirl

Haha I joke with DH all the time that I need a ring upgrade, I don't know that I'd ever do it, but I did pick the style of my ring when I was young and I don't love it so much anymore. So I guess my UO is that while I may not "upgrade" it, I do consider having my diamond reset to be a bit more simple. I'm not super sentimental about things like rings, etc and neither is DH (he lost his ring before we were even married for a year, and still hasn't replaced it) so for both of us it's more a piece of jewelry that I wear every day, rather than a symbol of our marriage. 

charmedlifex3

My mother had her ring "upgraded" - after 30 years of marriage. The old one was breaking because it was worn thin, and before the stone was lost she had the original stone reset, with two new diamonds on either side (for past and future.) If you've been married so long your ring falls apart - yes you get an "upgrade" - if it's been three years, I agree that is silly!

 

michelle_shelle

@Allisun85 I think if you upgrade that's definitely the way to do it. That is so sweet!

BritMC18

My UO is super personalized to my life... and is probably more a vent session than an UO. But here we go... I have a very "distant" relationship with my mom. Living with her 18 years was more than enough. She currently lives 12 hours away and I like it like that - I see her maybe twice a year. 

She calls me today to inform me that she has planned out her "visitation" schedule for coming to see the baby once it gets here. I'm assuming that she'll fly up every other month or so for a weekend... NOPE! She plans on coming once a month and staying for 3-4 days each time. She literally has every weekend planned for 2017 that she'll be coming up.

I get that she's excited about having a grandchild and lives the furthest away of any of the grandparents... but I'm going to straight up go crazy having her around that often. Not to mention the fact we have a 2 bedroom house. We technically have 3 rooms, but one is an office that can barely fit a twin sized air mattress. And... we don't plan that far ahead. I told her I cannot guarantee that we won't have plans on the weekends she intends on coming up. 

We are super different people in nearly every way. I can deal with her for 3-4 days twice a year, but every single month is going to make me go f***ing crazy.

Ugh, rant over. 

Snaps816

@BritMC18  Oh my god. I get along pretty well with my mom and that would STILL drive me crazy.  You cannot agree to this. I would just say something like "let's just play it by ear, Mom," or "I've got way too much on my plate to plan that far ahead." Hopefully she'll get the hint, and even if not, you never committed to that schedule. I think it's reasonable that she'll want to visit more than twice a year now that there's a grandchild, but once a month is way over the top. On the bright side, if she really wants to visit often, could you take those opportunities to have her babysit so you and DH could do date nights, or even full weekends out of town? I think that would be reasonable, you shouldn't have to play hostess every time if she's going to come so often. 

bananers

My mom had her ring upgraded after 30 years of marriage. My dad got her a bigger center stone for her setting and had her original stone put into a mothers' ring with mine and my brother's birthstones on either side. I like the sentiment behind that. 

AliKay20

I was lurking on July board and learned of the term NILMDTS. I googled what that was and came across heartbreaking stories parents have shared.

UO: When you look at the bigger picture & realize that you have a healthy baby, how the fk can you be disappointed because the baby isn't a boy or girl that you hoped for? I can't even. No, I just can't. 

ballofmeat

I have bought things off our registry already. A few of my friends and mom have scolded me for purchasing things before our shower. Honestly though, the shower is going to be very small and only 4 weeks before my due date. I'm not going to wait to get a few items because someone might buy it as a gift. I'm excited and I just want to start organizing and prepping! There are over 70 things on our registry. I'm sure the 15-20 people who attend our shower will have plenty of options if they decide to purchase from it. 

nanner26

@BrittMc87 That would seriously make me all sorts of ragey! How does she expect you to set aside one weekend every single month without even consulting you first? I definitely would not agree to it like other PP have said and explain you can't plan your life that far in advance. Also you may not be able to have her there every single month.
My own mom lately has been "assuming" a lot of things and it's been driving me crazy too. 

My UO is when people second guess their doctors after they are told the sex of their baby at an ultrasound. Especially if they have a "gut feeling". Really? I'm sorry but gut feelings mean nothing. You have a 50-50 shot so some "gut feelings" might be correct. It doesn't make them true. 

jamiesc58

@AliKay20 I had never heard of that until I just read your post. I googled it also and had to stop before I started crying at my office. It makes me thank God that our baby seems to be healthy so far and just pray for him to stay that way.