@TiffRox81 it just dawned on him last week that we've got less than three months and he still can't get it together. He swears a lot is getting done this weekend. If it doesn't I'm hiding his xbox until it's done. No more nice wife.
Thank you @PinkLady2015.@kdm06c while I agree that it would be detrimental to have a "set in stone" birth plan, as far as the context of the conversation with the midwife that isn't what I was referring to. She was pushing the hospital's birthing classes on me, telling me how helpful all her patients say it is, and I said something along the lines of that it is getting to be time to start thinking about our birth plan. She scolded and tsk'ed at me and said they don't encourage birth plans, because nothing ever goes according to plan. It irked me, I clarified that yes, I understand things don't necessarily follow a "plan", but that I have every intention of being educated so I can make my own choices with myself and my baby's best interest in mind. I'm not about to just let the doctors do whatever they want - I have encountered too many morons in the medical field to believe that the rando OB on rotation at the hospital that I have literally NEVER met before automatically knows what is best for ME or is even going to listen to my concerns. I am hugely not a fan of this popular new system of not having a dedicated midwife or OB to work with from blood test through delivery, just making patients rotate through everybody in the clinic and then whoever is on delivery rotation the day you pop is who you get. I realize it's easier and more convenient for the midwife/OB, but IMO you lose the trust/bond/relationship aspect (which I understand is not important to every patient).
I had a "plan" for what I was going to get done today. I have accomplished exactly none of those tasks, and ended up doing a handful of other tasks instead, which is OK because it will all get done eventually. Plans can easily change based on the events that take place - it's called adapting. You can have a plan that includes variables and different options.
@sayerhart I think it genuinely shows that we care about the people behind the screen names to have a cold hard truth heart to heart. If we didn't care about you or your babies well being we would have told you to skip a medically necessary test.
I hope the truth actually got through to you and you highly reconsider your position. I work with kids who have disabilities because of parents who were negligent during their pregnancy and after birth. So it comes from a good place. No one wants you to have to live with the guilt that comes from not doing what you could have done to protect your child but didn't. Best wishes
@sayerhart honestly I'm more disappointed in your midwife. I realize that most people have no idea how to go about testing for certain diseases and that's why we rely on our doctors and medical professionals to guide us. Even though I'm a nurse, I learned more about pregnancy and childbirth from my sister than I did from my work experience. I look to my OB for advice and recommendations about best practice and required tests to ensure the health of me and my baby. I'm sorry if what was said was hurtful for you but I urge you to do some research on this or bring it up at your next appointment.
This. I have had a ton of friends deliver with a MW (both hospital and at home births), and all of their MW's had them do the GD test and stressed the importance of them. I am getting the vibe that this MW is one of those "lets just throw caution into the wind and not trust a single grain of testing/research" types. When the MW starts going that route and making stupid comments like the test having lots of false results, that would be my first red flag and I would be finding another MW. There is a big difference in having a MW that helps the mother have the birth experience that she wishes (as long as medically okay), and a MW who is a complete moron and willing to put the mom and baby in a risky situation because of one little (but very important test)....
@PleaseSendPicklesNow My husband doesn't get it either. If you talk to him, Bill was the worst president ever, haha!!!
On a side note, @PleaseSendPicklesNow NO ONE better F with your birth plan!! I don't care if it includes only having red M&M's, a smoothie station and macaroni and cheese! That whole hospital better be ready for your demands!
@PleaseSendPicklesNow when we had special cases, likes yours. The nurses were very much willing to work with the patient and family. They (staff) understood and we're very sensitive to them (family ).
It was usually situations like this that the mother's birth plan was more regarding emotional needs and well being and tended to be very thought out and organized.
For the traditional scenes: have seen 3 and 4 page birth plans that are so detailed and specific. It is hard to work with every point.
A birth plan should be like a resume. It should be about one page. With bullets of important parts. Also, not on the birth plan, but a safe word should be added/decided on with the staff. For example, if there us family that you want to leave , you can say 'I really want peaches. ' and the nurses knows to shoo them away. A simple one for pain management, especially if one is trying to go with out meds or an epi. It is so easy to say 'I can't do this!' Or 'I need drugs' with out really meaning it. But if your safe word/phrase is 'pugs', and you say 'I need meds/epid, because I love pugs'. Then the nurse knows it is not just a reaction but your real decision.
@erin7264 I am pretty sure we are agreeing on basically everything. My comments were more for those that did have a set in stone plan and people that have only done research on a particular birthing technique not those that have done research and realized (and are OK with) alternative measures that might need to be taken.
@PleaseSendPicklesNow yours is an extra special case and I would personally come and kick anyone's ass who tries to screw that up.
@PugsandKisses I have never thought about having safe words. That's amazing advice.
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
@pugsandkisses the hospitals in our area have code sayings for getting people out of the room. For the hospital closest to me, you can ask for some lemonade. They don't serve lemonade there, and the nurses will walk out like they are getting some, come back into the room, and then be the "bad guy" and make everyone but the support person leave. The one where I delivered DD, you just had to ask for lime jello (they only serve strawberry and orange), and they would do the same.
Wow, and I thought work was exciting today. Calling the cops on a violent, naked, drugged-out dude has NOTHING on this thread today.
Rings: My husband and I both wear silicone Qalo band rings, he didn't wear one for the longest time because he's a paratrooper. Google 'degloving injuries'. Good stuff.
Diabetes testing: Maybe don't do the Group B strep test either? Or the Rh screening? I mean, c'mon, is it REALLY that bad for your body to recognize your babies blood type as a 'foreign substance', sending out antibodies to destroy all of the little itty bitty baby red blood cells? Ask my Nana about her 9 MISCARRIAGES due to this issue. Or maybe just go take the test so that you can make sure that you are doing everything in your power to ensure the safety of your child.
My UO: I would define myself as an 'over-groomer'. I trim nose hairs, shave everything from the neck down daily even if it is blonde, clean my belly button, floss obsessively, etc. However, I think 'feminine washes' are one of the dumbest and meanest things you could do to your poor vagina. Newsflash, your vagina isn't supposed to smell like rose petals. It's supposed to smell like a vagina (which I have found to mainly be a 'pleasantly musky' scent). Your vagina cleans itself, stop thinking you and a bottle of Summer's Eve could do a better job.
I realized I was superrrrr late in my gestational diabetes answer. Everyone else was way better.
Anyway, my birth plan:
Go to hospital. Get babies born as safely as possible using whatever means required by the medical professionals. Come home with babies.
I don't have the kinds of options many of you have because of my situation so I think it's great that some of you have detailed birth plans. As long as you're cool with being open to shit changing last minute, I don't see why you can't have a rough idea of what you want. For me, it doesn't matter what I want. What matters is the health of the twins and what will get them in my arms quickly and safely. Other people with singletons with perfect head down babies, you go and get your birthing tub and Kenny g music and candles if you want.
I realized I was superrrrr late in my gestational diabetes answer. Everyone else was way better.
Anyway, my birth plan:
Go to hospital. Get babies born as safely as possible using whatever means required by the medical professionals. Come home with babies.
I don't have the kinds of options many of you have because of my situation so I think it's great that some of you have detailed birth plans. As long as you're cool with being open to shit changing last minute, I don't see why you can't have a rough idea of what you want. For me, it doesn't matter what I want. What matters is the health of the twins and what will get them in my arms quickly and safely. Other people with singletons with perfect head down babies, you go and get your birthing tub and Kenny g music and candles if you want.
This. As long as baby and I make it home alive, I'll be happy.
My birthplan: 1. go to hospital to be induced when Dr's tell me it's time. 2. Get baby out. 3. Ooh and awww 4. Go home with screaming baby.
@sayerhart it is so important to be tested for GD. The education I got after, unfortunately not passing my test, opened my eyes to how important it is to treat this disease while I can and be thankful it was caught early on. So much discussion about it seems to be how nasty the drink is (I thought it was awesome) and what a pain in the butt the test was because of blood draws and time. However hearing that as recently as the 1970's, 1 out of every 3 stillbirths were due to uncontrolled GD. Most women have no signs or symptoms and can only be detected through a blood test. And as the pregnancy progresses, the placenta continues to grow and produce more hormones which cause more insulin resistance. So GD gets worse as the pregnancy goes, but again you would be unaware without proper testing. I failed a two hour test by missing the second cut off exactly at the number required to be below (it needed to be under 153 and I was at 153). So yes, I have to take my blood sugar 4 times a day and watch my food intake. But if you jump over to June BMB you will see we have an awesome supportive thread for GD moms and many of us have actually had some positive outcomes by watching our diets in this last trimester. And you will see at least a couple of ladies who you would never think would have GD because they had no risk markers, and they actually have to take insulin because their GD is bad. You don't have to have any other markers for your placental hormones to make your bodies insulin not work as properly.
Please honestly consider just getting this test done at your next appointment. You are still early enough to catch any problems and correct any needs and likely story is you won't even have it. I believe not testing for something that could cause irreparable harm to your child is equal to a form of child abuse. Your reason for not doing the test made the whole thing even more concerning. Please make this a priority.
Thanks for the heads up @PugLoveBug. I hope that every one understood that the point of that well documented fact was not to say that someone WILL necessarily have a stillbirth, but instead that the advances in science have given us a gift to decrease this particular risk by doing early detection and early intervention so that both baby and momma can be as healthy and safe as possible. It has become so much more rare for GD to have that severe of consequences because it is mandatory for all doctors to test for GD between 24-28 weeks of pregnancy now, because of the risk of harm to fetus. I'm so alarmed that someone's practitioner alluded that they should just sip it. It makes my heart hurt that there might be people who trust that practice and their providers advice and that severe negative consequences could come from that. I would also want to see my medical record from that facility (assuming that midwives keep medical records) because I would fear that, inspite of the practitioner saying "don't bother," that the medical record might actually reflect that the patient refused the test (to protect liability). I accept that my position on GD testing may not be universal and I don't want the OP of this to see this as an attack. I'm providing the same insights I would to a friend or even to someone I met on a bus if I overheard them saying they weren't getting tested for GD. I'm pretty passionate about this topic and most others that have to do with protecting our unborn to the best of our abilities.
I just want to say that as someone who has had a stillborn (not due to gd), I will be damned if I purposefully did something that could obviously put this baby at risk.
I know it seems "inconvenient" to take the gd test, but I promise, it is MUCH more inconvenient to suffer a loss and spend months not even knowing which way is up. I really don't remember most of my life last year.
Imagine how "inconvenient" that is.
Being a good parent includes doing things you don't want to do because it's good for your child.
Re: UO Thursday
I had a "plan" for what I was going to get done today. I have accomplished exactly none of those tasks, and ended up doing a handful of other tasks instead, which is OK because it will all get done eventually. Plans can easily change based on the events that take place - it's called adapting. You can have a plan that includes variables and different options.
I hope the truth actually got through to you and you highly reconsider your position. I work with kids who have disabilities because of parents who were negligent during their pregnancy and after birth. So it comes from a good place. No one wants you to have to live with the guilt that comes from not doing what you could have done to protect your child but didn't. Best wishes
@hmcdade1 You'll have to go through that to get to the nursery?! Noooooo! Mr. HMcDade, get to work!
On a side note, @PleaseSendPicklesNow NO ONE better F with your birth plan!! I don't care if it includes only having red M&M's, a smoothie station and macaroni and cheese! That whole hospital better be ready for your demands!
It was usually situations like this that the mother's birth plan was more regarding emotional needs and well being and tended to be very thought out and organized.
For the traditional scenes: have seen 3 and 4 page birth plans that are so detailed and specific. It is hard to work with every point.
A birth plan should be like a resume. It should be about one page. With bullets of important parts.
Also, not on the birth plan, but a safe word should be added/decided on with the staff. For example, if there us family that you want to leave , you can say 'I really want peaches. ' and the nurses knows to shoo them away.
A simple one for pain management, especially if one is trying to go with out meds or an epi. It is so easy to say 'I can't do this!' Or 'I need drugs' with out really meaning it. But if your safe word/phrase is 'pugs', and you say 'I need meds/epid, because I love pugs'. Then the nurse knows it is not just a reaction but your real decision.
@PleaseSendPicklesNow yours is an extra special case and I would personally come and kick anyone's ass who tries to screw that up.
@PugsandKisses I have never thought about having safe words. That's amazing advice.
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
I had no problem being the bad guy, none of did.
my safe word is "GIVE ME THE JUICE"
Married May 16th, 2015
EDD July 1st
July16 May siggy challenge "May the Force be with you"
Rings: My husband and I both wear silicone Qalo band rings, he didn't wear one for the longest time because he's a paratrooper. Google 'degloving injuries'. Good stuff.
Diabetes testing: Maybe don't do the Group B strep test either? Or the Rh screening? I mean, c'mon, is it REALLY that bad for your body to recognize your babies blood type as a 'foreign substance', sending out antibodies to destroy all of the little itty bitty baby red blood cells? Ask my Nana about her 9 MISCARRIAGES due to this issue. Or maybe just go take the test so that you can make sure that you are doing everything in your power to ensure the safety of your child.
My UO: I would define myself as an 'over-groomer'. I trim nose hairs, shave everything from the neck down daily even if it is blonde, clean my belly button, floss obsessively, etc. However, I think 'feminine washes' are one of the dumbest and meanest things you could do to your poor vagina. Newsflash, your vagina isn't supposed to smell like rose petals. It's supposed to smell like a vagina (which I have found to mainly be a 'pleasantly musky' scent). Your vagina cleans itself, stop thinking you and a bottle of Summer's Eve could do a better job.
Anyway, my birth plan:
Go to hospital.
Get babies born as safely as possible using whatever means required by the medical professionals.
Come home with babies.
I don't have the kinds of options many of you have because of my situation so I think it's great that some of you have detailed birth plans. As long as you're cool with being open to shit changing last minute, I don't see why you can't have a rough idea of what you want. For me, it doesn't matter what I want. What matters is the health of the twins and what will get them in my arms quickly and safely. Other people with singletons with perfect head down babies, you go and get your birthing tub and Kenny g music and candles if you want.
My birthplan:
1. go to hospital to be induced when Dr's tell me it's time.
2. Get baby out.
3. Ooh and awww
4. Go home with screaming baby.
@sayerhart it is so important to be tested for GD. The education I got after, unfortunately not passing my test, opened my eyes to how important it is to treat this disease while I can and be thankful it was caught early on. So much discussion about it seems to be how nasty the drink is (I thought it was awesome) and what a pain in the butt the test was because of blood draws and time. However hearing that as recently as the 1970's, 1 out of every 3 stillbirths were due to uncontrolled GD. Most women have no signs or symptoms and can only be detected through a blood test. And as the pregnancy progresses, the placenta continues to grow and produce more hormones which cause more insulin resistance. So GD gets worse as the pregnancy goes, but again you would be unaware without proper testing. I failed a two hour test by missing the second cut off exactly at the number required to be below (it needed to be under 153 and I was at 153). So yes, I have to take my blood sugar 4 times a day and watch my food intake. But if you jump over to June BMB you will see we have an awesome supportive thread for GD moms and many of us have actually had some positive outcomes by watching our diets in this last trimester. And you will see at least a couple of ladies who you would never think would have GD because they had no risk markers, and they actually have to take insulin because their GD is bad. You don't have to have any other markers for your placental hormones to make your bodies insulin not work as properly.
Please honestly consider just getting this test done at your next appointment. You are still early enough to catch any problems and correct any needs and likely story is you won't even have it. I believe not testing for something that could cause irreparable harm to your child is equal to a form of child abuse. Your reason for not doing the test made the whole thing even more concerning. Please make this a priority.
I just want to say that as someone who has had a stillborn (not due to gd), I will be damned if I purposefully did something that could obviously put this baby at risk.
I know it seems "inconvenient" to take the gd test, but I promise, it is MUCH more inconvenient to suffer a loss and spend months not even knowing which way is up. I really don't remember most of my life last year.
Imagine how "inconvenient" that is.
Being a good parent includes doing things you don't want to do because it's good for your child.