Body image during pregnancy

grannysmith912

Perhaps it may seem too early, but I thought it might be helpful and encouraging start discussing body image during pregnancy. I know that with a flabby little blump coming in and no energy to put effort into any sort of beauty routine, I can already sense changes in my appearance, and I know that this is just the tip of the iceberg in terms of the changes that the next eight months will bring. Besides, I figure it never hurts to start practicing positive self-talk long before you really need it. 

So anyways, what are you doing to fight any negative feelings you might experience about your body? How do you practice a positive attitude toward any changes, expected or unexpected? Any second- (or third- or fourth- ...) time moms have advice about what worked for you throughout your nine months?

PS - I don't mean to suggest that every woman will struggle with body image during pregnancy. More power to anyone who doesn't, and we could probably use some of your input here! I just hope this can be an encouraging resource for anyone who does.

FirePoppy

I'm with you on this one. I really never thought that I would have any issues with changes to my body during pregnancy, but I'm already feeling a bit disappointed about the "flabby bump" (great way to describe it!) and  some muffin-top. Like you, I'm most annoyed because I'm too tired to do anything about it, and feel like I shouldn't be dieting or over-doing exercise anyway, in case morning sickness takes a toll and I end up losing weight in the next few weeks. 

I have a very supportive partner who does mind the changes one bit, but it still bothers me. Several people have recommended doing prenatal yoga as a way to feel better about body changes. I guess I'm not convinced that that will work--I'm not great at yoga and fear that it might just make me feel huge and uncoordinated. 

So, no answers here, but glad to see the conversation starting  

hellopartyof5

First trimester was actually the worst for me last time, because I just felt fat - not pregnant.  Around 19 weeks I started feeling so much better about myself because the flub wasnt there anymore, it was just a firm baby belly.

BmcD2016

My first pregnancy I let myself go, so to speak. I ate terrible the whole way through. I pretty much only wore sweat pants and t-shirts. And I didn't enjoy my body one bit.

Second pregnancy i ate way better, I just craved different things. I also invested more money into my clothing and would buy well cut gap maternity jeans (they were great in 2006, don't know about now). When I wore nice clothing, I felt better. And that just had a domino effect on everything in my life.

muybueno

In both of my pregnancies, I exercised and ate well (minus the first tri for obvious reasons). It was hard not to give in to ice cream every night, but I decided that as long as I was taking care of my health, whatever weight I put on was what I was "supposed" to gain. Coincidentally, I gained less than 30 both times, but if I'd gained more, I would have known I was doing everything in my power to take care of myself.

It's also very helpful to make it really clear to your partner that in the coming months, you'll need LOTS of positive comments about your body and your awesomeness as a woman, and NO negative comments. Dumbasses on the street will make enough comments on how "big" you are- you don't need it from your partner too! MH is incredibly complimentary about my body during and post-pregnancy and though I always roll my eyes and say "oh, you have to say that," it actually helps me stay positive about my appearance.

LindsayLuLu27

I'm so much more sick this time around. Is it bad that because I'm so sick and tired I figure I'll give a crap what I look like in the second trimester? I wish I had energy to care .... Hoping this thread will give me some more motivation! 

shevaCC

First tri has always been the hardest for me too. I just feel fat and usually queasy/exhausted so I'm not even sucking in the bloat. I try to remind myself that I have a secret superpower -- I'm growing a human! It's a little cheesy, but when you think of it, it is REALLY COOL to be growing a real human.

After first tri when my belly looks much more 'cute baby bump' than 'eats too much' I find it gets a little easier. When we get to that point I second having at least a few maternity outfits that make you feel good. They don't have to be expensive, just something flattering. It's nice to feel pulled together at least a few times a week.

lajoliedreamer

TW

At 6w2d I'm already feeling super self conscious and uncomfortable with my body. This is my first and I've always struggled with bad self image so these changes I can't control are really hard. I also felt like my body never really recovered from my mc a few months ago (nothing like depression and crappy weather to keep me unmotivated towards taking care of myself). SoI started off fluffier than I would have liked to and the bloating I've been getting just makes me feel huge. 

Thankfully, H is not shy with complimenting my body, and when I point out the flaws he reiterates how much he loves the whole package. It is good to hear, even if it doesn't always penetrate my self-judging brain. 

kns1988

8w3d, and yesterday was the first time I had the energy to work out since finding out I was pregnant. H bought me a bike so that I could ride with him and we went out for an 8 mile ride. It was so refreshing. I've been feeling like a total slob and I've been feeling like I'm gaining weight, so my body image hasn't been great. I'm pretty strict about maintaining a certain body weight (healthily), so it's a really weird feeling to notice my body changing. I can't say that I like the changes, but I'm so thankful to be pregnant that I don't want to complain.

I dropped an unhealthy amount of weight after my MC in October because I have trouble eating when I'm depressed, but I was luckily back to a good place when I got pregnant. 

beforeyou

Oh man, you guys. I am having a really hard time with this! I'm feeling so huge and flabby and bloaty and it's hard because I know that its just bloat and not the baby making me rounder. I'm also having a hard time with my boobs as well! They have already changed so much and I just liked them so much better before. I know its all for a good cause, but come on! 
Anyway, I really like what some of you PPs said about getting flattering maternity clothes and feeling good in what you're wearing. I wear scrubs for work and then come home and put on pjs and it just makes me not care about anything. I think maybe I'll do some shopping this weekend and see what I can come up with. 

MrsBigTime

I think things get so much better when you have an actual cute little bump! I was diagnosed with GD pretty early last time, so I watched my diet super closely and never felt like a big tub of lard (like I currently do!!), but when the initial flabbiness actually turns into a hard bump of baby - I felt so beautiful! 

there are lots of strategies to help you feel/look better, but the most important thing is to give you and your body credit for the amazing hard job it is doing! You are growing a human!! You are the most beautiful, wonderful, incredible being in the world right now!!!

earichar23

I strongly agree with PP that it helps tremendously when you have a bump and not just blump. And I worked really hard to find maternity clothes I felt good in. Some of the clothes out there are just hideous. Spend some time on Pinterest searching maternity fashion for inspiration! I loved my body from about 3-8 months even though I ended up gaining 50 lbs. (I was a bit underweight when I got pregnant the first time.)

whaat

I was worried about this, because in the past I've always felt bad about my body. A few years ago I gained 40lbs and it was rough for awhile, but with a lot of hard work I was able to start feeling proud of my body (without losing much weight). As silly as it sounds, I thank a lot of the body positive Instagram accounts that I follow. Right before the pregnancy I lost 15lbs, and was feeling good naked, but I had another problem: my clothes were/are baggy, but I can't really buy new ones now that I'm pregnant. So now I feel like I'm in this weird limbo, where I can't wait to just show and wear maternity clothes. Still, I remind myself how cool this all is. I'm growing a human! And it's kind of freeing not to feel like I have to suck in my stomach anymore.

KilgraveMadeMeDoIt

Honestly, pregnancy is probably the only time I feel good about my body because it is finally doing what it should. When you struggle with infertility, every day you aren't pregnant is a betrayal by your body. Every cycle is a failure and a further condemnation of your inability to do what almost every woman can. I also deal with chronic illness so my life is so very much controlled by the limitations of my body and I find that impacts my body image a great deal.

Pregnancy is something so very normal, a process that so many people take for granted, that I finally reach a level of peace with my body for the duration because I can, for a while, just feel normal. It's like the only time my brain and my body agree on anything, that we need to safely grow this little being. 

LikeICantEven

KilgraveMadeMeDoIt said:

Honestly, pregnancy is probably the only time I feel good about my body because it is finally doing what it should. When you struggle with infertility, every day you aren't pregnant is a betrayal by your body. Every cycle is a failure and a further condemnation of your inability to do what almost every woman can. I also deal with chronic illness so my life is so very much controlled by the limitations of my body and I find that impacts my body image a great deal.

Pregnancy is something so very normal, a process that so many people take for granted, that I finally reach a level of peace with my body for the duration because I can, for a while, just feel normal. It's like the only time my brain and my body agree on anything, that we need to safely grow this little being. 

So much this. I felt absolutely knockout gorgeous last pregnancy. I was more shocked than anyone. I strut around my house naked a lot, totally reveling in my big bump. But, much like you in the beginning I just felt like.... plump and blerrrgh. It wasn't cute, I was no longer in control of my body, someone else was steering and I think that is a rude awakening at first. Some women don't get past it and that's totally normal. Pregnancy is weird like that. Your body is most of the time prioritizing the baby over you and it shows. With your cravings, your excessive need for rest, the weird food and smell aversions you'll have....it goes on and on. You have to reacquaint yourself with your body, the first time since puberty, really.

My point is, try to wait this out a bit and it could flip on you. You might end up loving your body. And if you don't, that's totally normal as well and you shouldn't feel guilty. But know that it (mostly) goes back to normal after baby if you do the work. I actually prefer my PP body, my hips are a bit bigger and my waist is more narrow, my cheekbones could slice. I pray I get the same confidence as before soon because right now all I see is poochy tummy and dark circles.

AmyReneT

I'm the same was a the PPs. I was so worried about my appearance before my 1st pregnancy and then when I got pregnant I was worried about hating my body even more than I did before but I did come to love it and felt more confident than I ever had before! Yes, you do go through this weird limbo thing in between having a actual bump and just having what seems like flab and that part is no fun but the whole important thing to remember is your body is doing something AMAZING! You deserve to be confident because this whole process is so completely hard and tiring on your body but your body is creating life!