Struggling with chromosome results

SnobunnieMel

for those of you who had chromosome testing done, did anyone find it harder to keep trying after getting the results?

 I just got a call from my OB and our baby had 3 major, or  in his delightful words "grossly abnormal" issues. There was a triple X, deletion on chromosome 1 and a tetrasomy (not just trisomy) of chromosome 11. 

I had been hoping that the test would help bring me closure, but now I am reeling and absolutely terrified that maybe all my eggs are severely damaged since it wasn't just 1 but 3 significant problems that individually would be incompatible with life. We have already been working on our next pregnancy and this has be questioning. How did all of you keep going after getting results back? All I want is to be pregnant again soon but I don't know if I can endure this all over if my gametes are crap. 

catiecatp

Around some boards statistics get a bad rap - but the likelihood of having so many abnormalities in another fertilized egg are very low. But unfortunately beyond statistics, I don't have any advice to offer about how to keep going because my loss was too early and I didn't have a D&C. Did your doctor have any words beyond the results?

hugs and love

fivetimesnoluck

Ouch, those words don't help you digest something like that. I am sorry that the results are so severe and that they were delivered harshly.

For me, it's a weird mix of faith and determination. Determination that I can survive the worst, and faith that DH and I are meant to be parents.

Remember that you are stronger than you think. Every pregnancy is different and what caused bad outcomes this time may not factor into the next time at all.

The one testing that produced results for us came back as tetraploidy. With that, it seemed so random that I felt like there was no reason to feel it would reoccur. Of course, now I know I have DOR, in addition to other complications and it has only been with our RE's guidance, intervention, and support that we are trying again (one more time) without a donor egg. If it results in another loss, we will move to donor egg IVF.

Knottie1459524222

Wow, that was harsh, I'm sorry Was this your first loss? I'm surprised they did genetic testing. My Dr doesn't do testing unless you have several MC in a row. I thought I wanted to know for closure as well, but now thinking about it I'm not sure what's to gain. I really don't think/believe this will affect future pregnancies, it was a random event that happens to 1 in 4 pregnancies. 
Just think of the positive from this- you now know there was nothing you did wrong to cause the loss, or nothing you could do to prevent it. 
I read a quote the other day: "Trust the timing of your life." It popped up on my IG feed a few days after my D&C. I feel like it was speaking directly to me at the time. I printed it and stuck it to my bathroom mirror so every morning I am reminded to just trust God's plan for me. Even though it may not be the plan I had wanted for myself. 
((Hugs to you))

BrightenMySky

@SnobunnieMel testing revealed that our baby had triploidy of paternal origin.  We are already working with an RE, and even though he has reassured us that this is random and highly unlikely to be repeated, I definitely have moments where I feel like maybe we should just go straight to IVF w/embryo testing so it won't happen again.  It makes me anxious.  

MooFish2364

My doc did testing for us on my first loss. I actually didn't realize that he was going to and we didn't ask for it. I was surprised when I got a call at work about 2 weeks after my d&c. He said that our baby had a 5p deletion or a syndrome called Cri-du-chat. This syndrome almost always ends in early mc. My doc said that there's a 95% chance that it was just a fluke but from my internet research it can be passed on if one or both of the parents have a balanced translocation. My father was adopted and so was my DH's mother so we are missing a huge hunk of our medical history. So we decided to at least meet with a genetic counselor and see if they think we need any testing done. 

It it made me feel better for about 2 minutes knowing that it was a chromosomal issue...until I started reading everything on the Internet and over thinking it all. 

SnobunnieMel

He gave us the option of testing and we both wanted to know. We declined gender identification but unfortunately one of the chromosomal issues is gender specific so we found out regardless. I actually think that part helped because now I can use a formal pronoun instead of "it". Part of me wants to go ahead and do the prepregnancy testing on both DH and I that our office offers, but it's only for
major issues like cystic fibrosis and certain other ones I think. We are discussing whether we want to do that still. My OB made sure to reaffirm none of the issues are inherited so not to blame ourselves but it's still hard not to. Just have to get over the fear that all my eggs are irreparably damaged or something.  

BornReady

Sorry to hear that and for your doctor's descriptive words. I didn't have any testing done on my fetal tissue, but definitely went through the catastrophic thinking you mention, like there is something really wrong with me or DH, our eggs/sperm are damages etc. The grief from miscarriage is just always transforming in my life in a new and disruptive way!

As far as testing, my DH and I just did chromosome blood testing with our RE. My mother and sister both have a history of miscarriages and my DH has 2 brothers who have both dealt with miscarriage and infertility. It made our doctor wonder about possible chromosome issues and she wanted to rule at least a little out to see if we needed to be more aggressive in terms of testing our embryos/move straight to IVF etc.