Working Moms — The Bump
January 2016 Moms

Working Moms

I thought it would be nice for those of us returning to work to have a thread to share our daily vents, struggles, victories, and overall support.

I returned to work today after 11 weeks with DS. I was a sobbing mess on Sunday but totally composed today--success! It was kind of nice to jump back in to it but very weird to pump in my suit (thankfully we have a nursing room). I think the whole pumping at work situation is going to take some time to get used to. I also found that I care much less about things that used to be a top priority...i.e. work in general. Funny how baby becomes your number one!! 

How is are you other moms doing with your work/life balance??
Vamason89

Re: Working Moms

  • Great thread! I am heading back on Monday. I'm oddly looking forward to it!  Today LO and I went shopping for work clothes. I had absolutely nothing to wear since I donated most of my non-maternity clothes bc we were supposed to move (long story but the move fell through). It's a nice feeling to start fresh with a full new wardrobe. 

    We we went into the office yesterday to show off LO and it reminded me how much I missed my work family. I'm sure I'll be a mess on Monday but I am happy about conversing with adults again!
  • mrsncmrsnc member
    I also went back to work today, DD is 9 weeks tomorrow. I handled it better than I thought I would. It was much easier to fall back into the routine at work. Unfortunately we don't have a great place to pump so I set up camp in the preschool sized bathroom in my class. It was comfortable enough. I'm lucky to have amazing co-workers who greeted me with Starbucks and open arms! But as much as I love my students, my job, and my co-workers, I would give anything to be able to stay home! 
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  • I've been back for 4 weeks now.  I only took 9 weeks.  I'm a school teacher in an Urban school district.  I work as a Special Education teacher, working with students with severe behavior/academic issues.  It has been stressful.  Thankfully, I am a very organized person and a good multi-tasker, because I now go into work around 7:45 versus my pre-baby time of 7:00 a.m.  I also leave right at 4:15, when I used to stay until 5-5:30.  I never used to bring work home and I now have work to do daily.  Sometimes I get to it, and sometimes I don't.  So I end up busting my butt to get things done in school and on the weekends.  

    My mom watches the LO.  She comes right to our house.  It has made going back to work a million times easier, but it's still hard leaving him every morning. I have a whole new appreciation for my mother and am so fortunate to have family watch our baby.
    Rach8672
  • I'm heading back in 2 weeks with a long commute. Any words of wisdom and advice to prepare for the return? 
  • I go back on Monday and am not ready. People from work keep texting me asking when I come back and I want to throw my phone away. I'm also going back to a new position with more responsibility than before plus the processes for some of my old tasks have changed. Just feeling really insecure about it :/ I'm absolutely dreading it. 
  • I've been back to work 3 weeks now. I have PPD so going back to work was a relief for me. Up until today I hadn't cried once leaving him. Which of course makes me feel guilty. But today I dropped him off at my moms for the first time (usually my husband does it). I am a mess. I miss him terribly today.  I'm also suddenly very worried he will not recognize me as much as he does my mom and husband.  He is only 10 weeks so it may still be too early but he doesn't register excitement when he sees me.  It's really bothering me today. Guess crazy emotions are running wild today. 
  • Eased back into working in the last week. It's been hard to leave but at least our part time nanny knows how much I miss her so will text me throughout the day with little comments and pictures. Hubbie and I just need to get through April with us both working and in May he'll be home full time which I think will make it easier. I work all kinds of crazy hours including overnight so him staying home was really the only thing that made sense for us. Now if I can just keep up pumping at work!

    Me: 35, Hubbie: 33
    Married DH: 2013
    DD: Dec 2015
    BFP 8/14/17 --> Due 4/27/2018

    Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker

  • I'm going back to work on Friday the 1st.  At first I was t sure I wanted to start on a Friday, but I figured it was a great way for me to get a "trial run" of what pumping will be like at work.  I just had a break down today for the first time...LO is 12 weeks and since I'm EBF, we have been pretty much inseparable.  It's going to be wierd spending all of my days without him since my wife and I are switching roles (I will be working full time and she will be SAHM).  It's bittersweet because I am starting a new job in a new role, and in so excited about it.  I'm also excited that my wife and son get a chance to bond now and have their own connection and routine together...but I'm also sad that I won't get to see his precious face all days and miss out in little milestones here and there.  Ugh...who knew it would ever really be this hard.  For those of you who will be pumping at work, I have been using this website workandpump.com and it is really helpful and encouraging.  They even give you a sample pump schedule for the day, which I really needed bc I BF LO on demand and I wa feeling really overwhelmed about how much/how often to pump at work to keep up my supply and keep him happy when I'm not home.  I would definitely refer to it if you're feeling overwhelmed and discouraged like I was.  It's going to be a huge transition and I'm super nervous...we will see how it goes!  Good luck mamas!
    Ka885
  • mrsncmrsnc member
    jmilton01 said:
      I'm also suddenly very worried he will not recognize me as much as he does my mom and husband.  He is only 10 weeks so it may still be too early but he doesn't register excitement when he sees me.  It's really bothering me today. Guess crazy emotions are running wild today. 
    I've been back at work for 2 days and feel this way ALL THE TIME! I know it's illogical since I've spent the most time with LO and that will always be true, but I still worry. I feel like I should be her favorite and I'm not. It sucks to feel like your baby doesn't really care about you. 
  • I go back in 2 weeks and I am not looking forward to it. I hate pumping at work. It's weird to have to announce that I am leaving and to feel like people resent me for getting more "breaks". I am also worried about DS. He is EBF and I am the only one who has ever put him to bed or pacified him well (since he won't take a pacifier). My shifts are all over the place so it will be hard when DH has to put both boys to bed without me. I am stressed for him. It will be good to get out of the house though and have a little break from the kids. I wish I could afford to just work part time though.
    Also I feel pretty crapy because I still have plenty of weight to lose. Maternity clothes are baggy and pre-pregnancy clothes are tight and I feel lumpy in them. Guess I will have to find a few new loose shirts in the next week or two...
  • I only took 5 weeks since I am part owner of the business so I've been back already for 7 weeks. It was much easier than I thought it would be. I do take one day off during the week to spend with my little guy just him and I. Love having that day together at home alone. Going back to work actually helped my PPD. Pumping at work is impossible since I get so busy and next thing I know it's 4:00. But I'm ok with formula feeding. We do what we have to do. 
  • I am going back to work April 9 and I'm starting to get really concerned about sleep. LO is 10 weeks now- he used to sleep 5-6 hrs for the first stretch but now has gone back to 3-4. Also, after about 4 am now he is unsettled and will wake about every hour if not more often until it's time to get up for the day. All I've held on to since he's been born really is that it'll get better when he's a little older, but he seems to be doing worse now and I'm very nervous about going to work in this state. 
  • @SDaniels19, my LO is the exact same way. She sleeps for 4 hours, and then is up about every 1-2 after that (she had a nice stretch of 6 hour nights...but those are few and far between now). I don't usually go to sleep until about 10:30 at night. Then I'm up a couple times a night with LO, and then up for the day (getting ready for work) by 5:45 am. When I was on maternity leave, I went to bed at the same time, and didn't get out of bed until 9am most mornings and I was STILL exhausted. I thought that there was NO way I would be able to function going back to work. But surprisingly...I've been FINE. It's so weird how our bodies adjust and learn to adapt on minimal, interrupted sleep. I just wanted to say all of this to give you some encouragement. Expectation is usually worse than reality, and I have found that I've been functioning and coping way better than I expected. So, good luck! You'll be Okay!!
  • I've been back 2 weeks now, with this week being back at full-time. I am both enjoying and hating the return. I love what I do so it's good to be back and also be in heels/nice clothes again and have adult conversation....however there are many new stresses at work since returning as I was promoted to a new supervisor position right before my leave and I'm dealing with a lot of issues. I find myself worrying that I won't be able to keep up what people expect of my production because I used to pull 50-55 hour weeks when needed during peak times before baby and that's just not happening anymore as I'm BF and getting home to nurse and do bedtime routine is way more important. It's encouraging to read all you ladies experiences and many of you starting new roles too...there is so much to balance and I am trying to just tackle one day at a time! I've definitely put exercise and fun time with DH on the back burner as my energy is just zapped.
  • I have been back to work for a month now an back in the groove. I do get pretty sad some days when I think about how many hours I am away from my little one but thankfully I only go in to the office 3 days a week. I used to be the first one in and last one out and brought my laptop home every night but now I rush out at 4 every day to see my baby and never take my laptop home.
  • I just got back today so I'm happy to see this thread! I feel like I felt with my older two- totally torn. I hate leaving them and msising out on so much of their day, but I also like my job and was just reminded via a new opportunity that I'm pretty good at it! Also, my baby needed surgery at 3 weeks old and spent most of her first month in the NICU and through my insurance, a hospital bill over $100,000 cost us personally only $10 so I remind myself of how much my job is helping my children.

     My advice to everyone- don't be afraid to renegotiate issues like flex time or remote working once you have children! I am now working remotely on Fridays and while it's not a day off, it's a day I can at least see my kids a lot more! So if it's a possibility for your line of work, think about what options you might have.

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  • For those of you using daycare, do you feel like your LO is happy there? Ours has a ratio of 3:1 and I feel like there is ALWAYS a baby crying when I go in his room. When I picked DS up today he was starting to fuss, and I just worry that I'm not putting him in the best place. I looked at nanny options, but my daycare is subsidized by work so the financial difference was huge. It's accredited and the workers are so nice, but I just worry he won't get enough attention. The case of mom guilt is real today. 
  • I'm back now part time. I'm a counselor with a private practice so I can make my own schedule and work as little or as much as I want to. I also work walking distance from my house. I feel so lucky! Right now I think I'll stick with part time - I feel like I have a really good balance feeling like me again and also being mom to LO. 
  • AchaeAchae member
    @dobes1020 my daycare is in home and has 2-4 older kids a day other than my baby and I worry he doesn't get enough one on one. She did mention to me how he cries more than any baby she's ever known which makes me feel awful :( She says he is happy being held but obviously she can't hold him the whole time. He is a fussy baby overall though so I just keep telling myself one day at a time. 
  • AchaeAchae member
    For those pumping at work, do you pump every time LO would get a bottle? For example my LO gets three bottles while I'm away but I only pump twice. Should I be adding in a third pump session to mimic when he gets bottles?
  • KFrobKFrob member
    Achae said:
    For those pumping at work, do you pump every time LO would get a bottle? For example my LO gets three bottles while I'm away but I only pump twice. Should I be adding in a third pump session to mimic when he gets bottles?
    I pump three times while I'm at work but that's partially due to the timing of the pumps since my commute is about 45 mins each way. I pump once before o leave the house, then at 10:30, 1:30, and a quick one of like 10 mins at 4:30 before I leave at 5.  My times are based on when the nursing mothers room is available vs when LO eats. 
    Achae
  • KFrob said:
    Achae said:
    For those pumping at work, do you pump every time LO would get a bottle? For example my LO gets three bottles while I'm away but I only pump twice. Should I be adding in a third pump session to mimic when he gets bottles?
    I pump three times while I'm at work but that's partially due to the timing of the pumps since my commute is about 45 mins each way. I pump once before o leave the house, then at 10:30, 1:30, and a quick one of like 10 mins at 4:30 before I leave at 5.  My times are based on when the nursing mothers room is available vs when LO eats. 
    I currently nurse and pump from 5-5:30am then don't get another chance until 8:30 or 9. Then I either pump or nurse LO on my lunch break (daycare is a 10 minute walk from my office, but he rarely transfers more than 2oz while nursing) and pump again around 3. I fear my supply is dwindling (it was already low to begin with) as I yield ~2 oz on average, which I feel is directly related to LO's transfers. LO takes 4oz bottles and I bring 4 to school. I know that's more than he technically should need, but the amount is perfect every 3 hours. We have formula so I might start mixing bm and f in his bottles depending on how much I am able to pump. 
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Lilypie - FiGB
    Married DH 11/15/08
    Formerly MissMheMhe
  • I started back full time three weeks ago when she was 8 weeks. I work from home but I have to be on the computer the whole time & responding to voicemails & having conference calls. My husband's schedule works out that he can watch her here at home during the day while I work which is such a blessing. I still feel guilty sometimes that I'm unable to spend more time with her. It took my brain a while to get back into the swing of things at work. I'm fixing a lot of work that I did while I was pregnant, pregnancy must have fried my brain because the work I did back then sucked. I'm just realizing that as I review those previous projects. Some days I feel like superwoman other days I feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water but her smile is always the best part of my day.
  • @dobes1020 so far I do feel like LO likes the daycare she's at. They have a 4:1 ratio, but for me the biggest factor i like about the place is all the infant caregivers have been at that center for 3 or more years which tells me they're treated well as employees and they like what they do. I feel guilty as well, but I can tell LO is doing fine since she has not had any changes in how she acts or her mood or sleeping patterns. There are days I've picked her up that one or two babies are fussy but other days they all seem content. She's only been fussy once when i picked her up and shes been there 3 1/2 weeks.  Have you noticed any changes with your LO? Are you comfortable talking with the caregivers in the infant room or admin. staff? It's so hard because the LOs can't talk and tell us if they're happy. I say your intuition is the best bet, so if you continue to get any odd senses that something is missing, it may not be a good fit at least for awhile...if you get a better vibe as LO moves up in other rooms, she could always come back where it is a cheaper cost. I hope it all works out! It is super stressful worrying about LO : (
    dobes1020
  • @jodiedrich18 he hasn't really changed his patterns that much except he sleeps a little more at home now. I used to hold him a lot for naps and I think he has a hard time setting in the crib. But I know he's well cared for...it just frustrates me that I know I could do it better if I stayed home. I just want him to be a happy little guy:( hopefully the daycare situation gets easier
  • I go back on Monday and am so worried about how the morning/routine will be. My husband and I carpool and will be leaving the house at 515 in the morning with about an hour commute. My LO sometimes wakes up at 4 to feed, sometimes earlier sometimes later. I'm really concerned about trying to get showered and ready in the morning with her being unpredictable and used to getting pulled in to bed for morning cuddles and side nursing. 
    I'm also worried about pumping at work - I don't want my supply to dip but not sure how to maintain it without several pumping sessions since I'm gone so long. 
    Any advice for a commuting mama???
    Me: 30 DH: 31
    Married: 2012
    BFP #1 Sept 2014, MMC Dec 2014 | BFP #2 May 2015, DD Jan 2016 <3 | BFP #3 May 2017, MC July 2017 | BFP #4 Jan 2018, MC Feb 2018 | BFP #5 July 2018, fingers crossed
  • @kkfl2m+b I have a similar situation (have to leave by 6:30 with an hour commute to grandma day care then work). I feed LO when he wakes up (typically between 4:45-5:30) and then put him back down while I shower and get ready. Hopefully he'll stay asleep but hubby will be in the room in case not. Then I'll be in the available to watch him while hubby gets ready and we'll head out. They key is leaving enough time for you both to get ready at separate times. Also, packing everything you can the night before helps me a lot. 

    I pump at 5:30 after feeding LO, 8:30, 11:30, & 2:30. So far so good! 
    mamakate1616
  • @kkfl2m+b  Is it just you and hubby carpooling? If so you could look into a battery pack or car adapter for your pump and pump in the car to/from work while he drives so you can get extra sessions
    MissMheMhe
  • I'm back at work full time. I am working overnights right now and then I will be working wherever they need me, so a few day shifts and then a few overnights. DH is with DD2 for overnights and he hates it some nights. Last night he did because he forgot to give DD2 her rice cereal with her formula to help with her reflux, so she was miserable which made him miserable and unable to get sleep. He was texting me about how her doctor needed to do something....LOL Her doctor told us to add the rice cereal because that's all they can do right now. And the rice cereal does relieves her reflux so it is what it is. He is dragging ass though. Poor guy, but I do that every day after working 7 or 10 hour shifts.
  • I've been back to work for 6 weeks, but yesterday was the first day of daycare for our LO. (Prior to that, my mom was in town/husband cared for her/I flexed my schedule.) In a way, I'm really relieved to establish a routine. I vetted a LOT of daycares before choosing this one, and I really feel like I've found the best in town (aside from the university lab school, which is more than I make in a month, and has a tremendous waiting list.) They're a church-affiliated center, and they view it as a ministry--not a business. The day I toured, kids were getting dropped off. Every one that came in--without prompting--ran around the counter, and gave the director a hug. One little boy didn't want to leave her, so she just carried him around while she gave me the tour. That tells me that they really care about the individual. When I picked up LO yesterday, she was a little drowsy, but content, and when I put her in the car seat to go home, she was chuckling at my funny faces. Honestly, there are extenuating circumstances at home that make me more stressed to leave her there. 
    And I only cried a little when I dropped her off. 
  • @kkfl2m+b  Is it just you and hubby carpooling? If so you could look into a battery pack or car adapter for your pump and pump in the car to/from work while he drives so you can get extra sessions
    We have thought about this and would love to but we're commuting to DC using the HOV lanes so we need a third. Either that or pay like $30 per day in tolls or sit in traffic :( 
    Me: 30 DH: 31
    Married: 2012
    BFP #1 Sept 2014, MMC Dec 2014 | BFP #2 May 2015, DD Jan 2016 <3 | BFP #3 May 2017, MC July 2017 | BFP #4 Jan 2018, MC Feb 2018 | BFP #5 July 2018, fingers crossed
  • I just finished my first week back. Monday was really hard and I cried the entire way to work. By Friday it was easier. My biggest issue at the moment is the drop in my supply. I pump twice at work and once in the morning and I'm lucky if I get 15oz
  • I've been back working for 3 weeks. To keep from having an emotional break down, I did two dry runs the week before with the daycare for half a days, then the week of work, I did half a days the first week then went full time this week. It really helped. Today was rough because my daughter is with a sitter for the first time and I'm fighting tears every time I think of her. I'm a police officer, I can't be going around crying at work :(
  • I started back to work on Wednesday last week. I have a nanny, which has been great for the transition, because I don't worry about her. The nanny is amazing and gets my baby girl to nap! I was lucky to get two short naps in, but nanny gets 4+ naps! She is absolutely amazing with my girl (which is why we hired her!) 
    My problem is that I now feel like a real failure as a mother. I know that I'm not a failure, and I know that my nanny has been taking care of babies for 30 years, but it's just a feeling I wasn't prepared to face. It's been a tough weekend :(
  • Been back to work for about 3 weeks now. My DH is lucky to be home with our LO Tues/Thurs .. so today, they came and met me for lunch :) 
    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie First Birthday tickers

    Married: Feb. 2014
    Age: 35+
    TTC #1: March 2014
    Clomid: 1 cycle no IUI lead to a BFP 
    krrpe99ChrissyD1203
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