Nervous to Have Kids Because of Day Care — The Bump
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Nervous to Have Kids Because of Day Care

Hello Ladies,

DH and I were NTNP last summer but decided to put that on hold while we looked for a new house.  We're all set with our new house now and I really think it's time to get serious about TTC.   I'm really nervous about having a baby because of childcare.  I need to work and there isn't anyway around it.  I have lots of student loans and we need two incomes to sustain a comfortable lifestyle. I get 6 weeks maternity leave paid using my sick/personal time.  I can take another 6 weeks but it's unpaid.  I'd rather not take away from our income, but I'm terrified of the thought of having to put a 6  week old infant into daycare.   I know there are millions of moms that do it, but I seriously can't even think about putting a child in daycare.  I have no family in the area I live in to watch the child either.  


Can any moms gives me advice?  Did anyone feel this way prior to TTC?  
AMCsquared

Re: Nervous to Have Kids Because of Day Care

  • I understand your concerns, but i have tonsay daycare is awesome!! We had no other option either, i work and we dont have any family near us. I did a ton of research on daycare options, and even called the state to inquire on the ones we were serious about. We found a daycare that we loved, dont settle!! My daughter started at 11 weeks and loved being with the other babies, adored the teacher and slept great for me at night. Shes over 2 years old now and has an incredible vocabulary for her age, is very well behaved in a classroom setting and has a ton of friends. Shes definitely not a shy kid! Daycare has been great for her and has allowed me and my husband to keep working and earning. 

    Start researching now and i think you will feel better. Daycares can be really amazing for kids. Also, i would really consider taking more than 6 weeks off if you can, even unpaid. I went 4 weeks unpaid - we saved up before hand and it was totally worth it. I loved every second of maternity leave (also enjoyed returning to work). 
    FemShep
  • It's hard no matter when you have to start putting them in. I was also sad/upset at the idea of putting my little baby in daycare, even before TTC. I went back to work at 10 weeks PP (only 4 were paid via sick/vaca time), but luckily my husband, mom, and MIL watched him for an additional 8 weeks until he was 4 months old. Personally, if it were me, I would find a way to stretch your maternity leave by the additional 6 weeks even if it is unpaid or as many weeks as you can. You're not even pregnant yet so you have the time while TTC + the 9 months of pregnancy to save $ for the extra 6 weeks. Try not to take any sick or vacation time during this period. That's what I did. Even if you did start daycare at 6 weeks, it can be a significant chunk of your income to pay for daycare, so you'll have to set aside $ either way, either for your leave, or for daycare. Going back to work 6 weeks PP is doable but I can't imagine it is easy. LO is still learning to sleep longer stretches then and up multiple times a night. Some women are still healing from childbirth. Maternity leave is so important. Good luck!
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  • Can you make it a goal to save the money you would lose during the 6 months unpaid leave? You have at least 10 months if you're only now starting to TTC. That way you won't be without the money and will have a few more weeks with baby. But many people put their very young infants in daycare. The important thing is to find one you are comfortable with.
    DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
  • It was more of an adjustment once baby was here. Daycares are not all bad. You have to do your due diligence in researching to find one that you love. I agree with saving your personal/vacation/sick leave to help pad more time than the initial six weeks. That what I did was well. I had lots of OT that made up for me not suing and of my personal time. I took off a total of ten weeks with an extra week before my induction and an extra week due to Spring Break (I work for the school district). My entire maternity leave I was paid for using all my time except for personal and short term disability. 
    Once you're pregnant, I would contact your state's dept for children/families. They should have a list of licensed daycare providers. I would start there. Also go with recommendations. Find out other daycare's from co workers between both yourself and husband. There are soooo many options out there. 
  • It was more of an adjustment once baby was here. Daycares are not all bad. You have to do your due diligence in researching to find one that you love. I agree with saving your personal/vacation/sick leave to help pad more time than the initial six weeks. That what I did was well. I had lots of OT that made up for me not suing and of my personal time. I took off a total of ten weeks with an extra week before my induction and an extra week due to Spring Break (I work for the school district). My entire maternity leave I was paid for using all my time except for personal and short term disability. 
    Once you're pregnant, I would contact your state's dept for children/families. They should have a list of licensed daycare providers. I would start there. Also go with recommendations. Find out other daycare's from co workers between both yourself and husband. There are soooo many options out there. 
    Actually, that's a really good point about short term disability. I never signed up for it beforehand and it was too late by the time I was pregnant. OP you should look into STD prior to TTC as it will help your financial situation if you qualify.
    SLGILL1978
  • TaraGoldenCOTaraGoldenCO member
    edited March 2016
    We had a nanny share for the first sixteen months which was a lot cheaper than daycare and was great. We had a wonderful nanny that we trusted and another boy that came to my home that my daughter loved having around. 
  • I was going to suggest a nanny as well. Also, my company offers flex scheduling so I work four tens and gave Tuesdays off. That helps cut childcare costs as well. 

    DD1 born 5/24/10.

    Missed M/C at 14 wks Feb 2012.

    DD2 born 5/14/13.

    Missed M/C at 9 wks July 2015.

    Expecting someone new 4/17/17.
  • I love our daycare and have always been pro daycare vs nanny or in home. I want 30 people accountable for each other, not just 1 in a house by them self. Go around and visit all the centers that you can. Get a real feel for how they operate, who their people are, how the daily schedules are, how they communicate with parents. Then ask the office how they hire their people, background checks, training, CPR, accountability for each other... You can also look up day care licensing information online to see if they have been cited for anything recently or in the past few years. DD is 17 months but I still keep in contact with the teachers that took care of her when she was 8 weeks old. We moved to a different city when DD was 9 months and that is the only reason I switched centers. They were wonderful. I like the place I have now too but the first will always be special to me. 


    Me 32 and DH 40

    Fur-baby named Bella

    1 MC Nov. 2013

    DD born Nov. 2, 2014

    Little 2 EDD Oct. 1 





  • I am lucky in that I always had my  mom to watch my babies when they are little.  My mom still watches my 1 year old but my older one goes to school now.  I started her when she was three.  If I didn't have my mom I would probably put my baby in a small in home daycare or get a nanny.  Have you looked into those options?
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I hate bringing LO to daycare, he keeps getting sick from other kids and I'm never going to trust someone like I do myself or my mom to watch him. Alas, it's a necessary evil since we need both incomes to maintain our lifestyle. Go visit a bunch of daycares and verify your impressions by checking the state licensing agency for annual infractions.

    I was someone who was *so sure* I'd only take 6 weeks maternity leave but once I had LO there was no way in hell I could've gone back at 6 weeks, I ended up taking 12. Unpaid. We were still getting breastfeeding down at 6 weeks TBH. By 12 weeks I was much more ready to get back to work. Save everything you can right now to give yourself as long as you can. It's so important. Better to have the $ to go 12 weeks and decide to return after 6 rather than plan to go at 6 weeks and desperately wish you could have 12...
  • I agree that 12 weeks is so much more doable, If you are able to swing it. Perhaps you could price childcare centers near you and start saving that amount now. This way your budget will already be in place and the money you save can be used if you take time unpaid.  I applaud you for thinking of all this ahead of time. You have a nice chunk of time to save and make a good plan.
    AMCsquared
  • 4N6s4N6s member
    Does your work have short term disability? If so, sign up for that and you'll be able to take 12 weeks without taking such a huge financial hit. 
  • Does your husband have the option to take any time off? When I went back to work I was concerned about sending my kid to daycare at such a young age so we arranged for my husband to take 2 weeks off when I went back and then my mom flew in from out of town for another week. Those few extra weeks being away from the baby (back at work) but knowing that he was with family helped with the transition a lot. It's always hard leaving the though. I would say to try not to stress to much, if everyone waited for the "perfect time" to have kids then no one would ever have them. Everything will work out in the end. 
  • I can't thank you ladies enough for your very encouraging words and stories. It has eased my mind and I am more open to the idea of daycare.  I will try my best to stay home as long as possible.  
    AMCsquared
  • WeringWering member
    I took 4 months off (all unpaid) after the birth of my second child. Look into short term disability with your company; hopefully they have it.

    To accommodate my time off, we:
    1) Saved, saved, saved! prior to conceiving and throughout the pregnancy
    2) Everytime I had an extra $ in my paycheck and a coupon to use, I used it toward something we'd need for the baby while I was on maternity leave (primarily pumping supplies and diapers/wipes)

    Baby is 9 months old now and I've not bought diapers since I was 8 months pregnant. All name brand diapers, averaging around $3-4/bag.

  • Some of my friends do a morning day out program (in Atlanta they start as early as 6-months) and then have a nanny pick them up. Then they're only in daycare about 3 or 4 hours a day and it's less expensive. I know that doesn't help you from 6-weeks until 6-months, but just pointing out there may be other options out there to look into.

    I was a video editor in advertising (freelance) working insanely long hours so put a lot of momentum into creating a flexible work-at-home lifestyle and saving before we were TTC. I figured if a family didn't happen for us, I would either do more traveling or have a business for myself. Now we have 2 kids.

    Good luck!
    Get $2,000 More in Your Budget Every Month with a Creative Earning & Savings System :-)  MothersWhoLaunch.com
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