Maternity and Paternity leave plans

CecilTheBear

Probably super early for this, but I'm a planner, so I'm already thinking about it. 

I plan to be off for the standard 3 months. H will take off about a month and a half in (so, say early january) and then be off for 3 months. We'll have a month and a half overlapping, which I think will be really fun. We're very lucky because we live in california, which has paid mat/pat leave, and our employers both "top up" which means we get full pay for the 3 months. 

What is everyone else planning?

MrsDho11

I'm a SAHW at the moment and plan to transition to SAHM, but I'm curious to see what everyone's plans are for their partners.  H is a co-founder of a start-up, and I don't think he's planning to take much time because it's just going to be bad timing.  BUT, I'm trying to convince him that as the first one in the company to need leave, AND a co-founder and C-level executive, he needs to take it to set the culture to a family-friendly one.  I think it's a big deal whatever he decides.

edit: grammar

beforeyou

Ugh that sounds so nice! 
I get short term disability which pays 70% for 6 weeks. I have to take 1 week PTO first, so I'll get 7 weeks somewhat paid, but DH and I think we can do the full 12 of me staying home so we'll have 5 weeks of no pay from me. Unfortunately he doesn't get any paid paternity leave so he'll probably take a week of PTO and then go back to work. 

aquasocks

Wow I'm impressed with the paternity leave @CecilTheBear! My previous employer was a huge international (and top 5 "working mother" company) and allowed 2 weeks paternity but I was given up to 6 months maternity leave (one month before birth and 5 after. Part full pay, part 2/3 pay, part unpaid.)

I'm a SAHM now so no leave for me. And my husband's company does not have an official policy but he will probably take one week, and then 1/2 days for the next week. That's what he did with our first anyway. He has a hard time getting away from the office.

edit: numbers

ficbot

We get a year here, but not at full salary. And I am a teacher so the timing will be weird. I am not working in the summer but will probably sub in Sepetember. I plan to start the benefits in October (you can do it up to eight weeks early) because I won't get a full year anyway. If I want a job next year, I have to be ready to go back in September, not November. So I will go October to September and get most of the year. We have savings to cover the summer since if I try and get EI for it, it will mess up the mat leave.

yosemite2018

We're in California so I'll get short term disability (55% of my paycheck for 6 weeks) and use my paid time off/unpaid time for another 6 weeks. I am hoping my SO will take at least a week off (he works for his dad so I can't imagine why not) and my mom also said she's taking a month off to help as well. Luckily with the holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years) right after my due date that saves me a little time off plus SO and my sister will all have paid vacation over that time. My work is so great with time off, being flexible, etc so I am sure they'll let me take whatever time I need. After maternity leave I'm hoping to work from home a day a week so I won't be away from the baby as much. I am so lucky that my family is so close by to help (and all aunts and uncles are in town as well)!

LikeICantEven

DH got 5 weeks last baby, I quit working a month before I delivered. I moved into SAHMhood. This time it feels like the best possible time of year to have the baby. I will say to the FTM Moms (promise I am not preaching) but with your first baby it's a lot of staring at the sleeping baby, watching Netflix and basically living the dream. I was blessed with a baby that slept through the night, however. But I'm so excited for the FTMs who will be in that beautiful period of life where you look at your partner and you're so totally amazed at what you just made/did together. It's so incredible. You reach a new level together.

You've got Thanksgiving, which is usually a 4-5 day weekend paid. 1 month later we've got Christmas, DH gets 10 days paid off from his company and then you throw in whatever vacation and sick leave he wants to throw in there as well. 

We also call this one our Little Tax Deduction. ♥

yosemite2018

HomeyDontPlayThat said:

DH got 5 weeks last baby, I quit working a month before I delivered. I moved into SAHMhood. This time it feels like the best possible time of year to have the baby. I will say to the FTM Moms (promise I am not preaching) but with your first baby it's a lot of staring at the sleeping baby, watching Netflix and basically living the dream. I was blessed with a baby that slept through the night, however. But I'm so excited for the FTMs who will be in that beautiful period of life where you look at your partner and you're so totally amazed at what you just made/did together. It's so incredible. You reach a new level together.

You've got Thanksgiving, which is usually a 4-5 day weekend paid. 1 month later we've got Christmas, DH gets 10 days paid off from his company and then you throw in whatever vacation and sick leave he wants to throw in there as well. 

We also call this one our Little Tax Deduction. ♥

Since SO and I aren't married and it benefits me more, it'll be my little tax deduction... Which I'll need to help pay for my maternity leave.

LikeICantEven

ash111916 said:

HomeyDontPlayThat said:

DH got 5 weeks last baby, I quit working a month before I delivered. I moved into SAHMhood. This time it feels like the best possible time of year to have the baby. I will say to the FTM Moms (promise I am not preaching) but with your first baby it's a lot of staring at the sleeping baby, watching Netflix and basically living the dream. I was blessed with a baby that slept through the night, however. But I'm so excited for the FTMs who will be in that beautiful period of life where you look at your partner and you're so totally amazed at what you just made/did together. It's so incredible. You reach a new level together.

You've got Thanksgiving, which is usually a 4-5 day weekend paid. 1 month later we've got Christmas, DH gets 10 days paid off from his company and then you throw in whatever vacation and sick leave he wants to throw in there as well. 

We also call this one our Little Tax Deduction. ♥

Since SO and I aren't married and it benefits me more, it'll be my little tax deduction... Which I'll need to help pay for my maternity leave.

Hell yes. Getcha some girl. $$$. You're the one up in the middle of the night.

NatashaSprout

I get a year paid leave at full salary. However I will have to go on "lay up" and start my year off around 20 weeks pregnant; if not sooner. A lot of the women on this job lay up at 12 weeks. I only plan on staying off work till February. DH has the same 24 hour shift schedule I do (both fire department) so he only works 8 shifts a month and will be home a lot anyways. 

Krisite

I'm in the US, with zero maternity leave access. I guess I take sick leave?

hellopartyof5

I'm in the US. My company gives 16 weeks paid maternity leave. I also get 4 weeks paid disability before my due date. Then I get to add my vacation time on top of that. I plan to not come back after maternity leave though. 

doraleigh35

I'm self employed with my own wedding/event planning business. We started planning in 2014 for me to take this year off, hoping that I would get pregnant. I book weddings 1-2 years in advance. I'll start taking clients on again in 2017 and will be a WAHM.

DH will not get any time off. He works in professional sports and they will be "in season" in Oct/Nov. We will be lucky if he can make it to the birth. My Mom will be coming from the States for a few weeks to help out.

Thewizardofrhythm

I work 3 days a week. For living in the US I have an ok deal comparatively but the maternity leave situation here is just infuriating. I have a year of job security for leave but no paid leave. We are allowed to use our vacation and sick time as payment so if I make it to my due date I will have 12 weeks approximately saved up of vacation/sick time I can use. Last pregnancy I took 4 months which I had saved and I did not feel it was enough. I had a child who did not sleep through the night until 10 months and who nursed all the time. I basically went back to work a zombie who spent the whole day in my office pumping and never doing any work which then made me stressed. It was not fun. I also had oversupply which created a whole host of breast feeding issues when I was pumping (not efficient enough) like plugged ducts and recurring mastitis. So I'm really hoping to take 6 months this time. But we have to see if H gets a raise this year and with child care for my other little it may not be realistic. H gets 6 weeks paid leave which is amazing but philosophically makes me furious that he gets paid paternity leave and I don't. 

ShinyBlackAnt

I'm in Canada so could take up to a year on ei. But I don't think that is financially realistic. My company does offer a small top up but I still don't think I can take a full year. Right now I'm thinking of taking 6 months and then returning part time for another 6 months. I dunno how realistic that is though...gotta get closer and then see.

AmandaR417

US here, too.  I switched jobs back in Sept,  so I'll only get paid for the sick/vacation time that I've accrued,  which will be about 4 weeks.  The plan is that I'll be going right back to work after that.  My mom volunteered to take two weeks vacation to help out when I go back,  which will help out a lot since most daycares require infants to be at least 6 weeks. 

At some point,  I'm going to talk to my boss about the possibility of doing half days and/or working from home for a little while...my company is really flexible,  so maybe we can work something out. Can't hurt to try,  I suppose. 

citygirl17

You're lucky.  I work three days / week right now as well.  But at my company, that is considered part time so I am not eligible for any benefits, including vacation time.

edit to say that I do get FMLA and will be taking the full 12 weeks.  We have enough saved up for me to do this.  I'm hoping I will get at least one week of sick time paid out, since MA recently made it law that even PT employees get 40 hours of sick time every year.

g8rmama_16

I get 12 weeks of leave and so does my husband. I am planning on transitioning out of the military soon after and plan on doing SAHM/WAHM if I can for the immediate future. I am 35 and plan to try again for a second pretty soon after this one. I have zero interest in rolling from the military into another full time career. I want a break to actually be a part of my family. If I could find a job to help pay a few bills from home, I would be ecstatic. 

MrsBigTime

I am planning to take 12 weeks, 6 of which will be paid with my short term disability, the other six I'll need to use my saved vacation time and/or take unpaid (my husband is freaking out about this!). DH is planning to take 3 weeks off, which will be paid via his saved comp time. 

KilgraveMadeMeDoIt

I'm a full time student and my program allows me to do one of two things: I can take up to six weeks off and make it up during my very limited vacation time (which would mean no downtime at all during clerkship which is the 80-hours-a-week part of my training) or I can take a full year off and re-enter my studies at exactly the point I left. I am actually only intending to take a week or two off since I'm going to be delivering right before we finish the classroom-based part of our training, and then I'm going to take an easier rotation for my first clerkship block. My husband will be taking eight months paid paternity leave - we are in Canada, so he can take 35 weeks of leave on EI - and probably won't be returning to work after that until I start residency (Kid 3 will be ~18 months then.) This fall, I intend to sign a return of service agreement for my home province that will sponsor me throughout the rest of my education which means we won't need his income. Im very fortunate to have that sort of option. 

Ash9614

My company is currently only offering FMLA, so I'll take 12 weeks while they hold my job. I have 3 weeks paid/sick leave and I "bought up" on the short term disability option, so after 8 days of vacation, I'll get 60% of my salary for 6 weeks. So, I guess that's the 8 days= 1.5 weeks of full pay. Then the 6 weeks at 60%. Then, I think I can use the rest of my vacation, so that's another 2 weeks of full pay. Sooo...maybe that means I'll get some kind of check 9.5 out of 12 weeks? We'll cover the rest with savings as it's really important to me to take those 12 weeks. DH gets 2 weeks paternity leave but also has flexibility to work from home most days. So, he'll probably take 1 week at delivery and another week when I go back to work (if they let him split it. We'll see). Hoping to hold on daycare until LO is 14/16 weeks. 

My company's HR team is busting their butts to get us better leave, but leadership is not cooperating. Really hope they get something done in next few months! It would be such a weight off of my family's shoulders.

It's really enough to tick you off ya know? I answer emails at 11 pm some nights or have responded to requests on vacation. The least they could do is give me my dang paycheck for 12 weeks. Ugh. Ok. Sore spot for me. I'll get off my soapbox. I love my job, but the lack of support in maternity leave is a thorn in my side. 

2undertwo2bee

I'm already a stay at home mom.  My husband is military.  While we're in the hospital he gets time and it doesn't count.  Then I think they are changing paternity leave to 14 days. So our plan is to have c section (if I need one) on nov1 and get out of hospital that Friday.  He'll take paternity leave starting Monday. And then after take an addition 12 days of leave.  That would put him being off nov1-dec-4   Which I'm hoping will give me Time to get adjusted to two.  He is also taking Christmas off.   If we had family close to us the. He would only take paternity leave and go back but being 9 hrs away with not much of a support system I know I'll need the help 

ficbot

I think my husband will take a week. Parental leave under EI is shared so if he takes it, I can't use those weeks. I also know that when he was sick last year and had to take two weeks off work, he was bored out of his mind. I don't think he would enjoy more time at home :-)

maggmagoo21

I'm in the US so will take as much advantage of FMLA as possible. With DD I took off the full 12 weeks, 4 of which were STD so 60% pay and 2 unpaid. I'm hoping we'll do the same this time around. We're waiting to see if DD has been accepted to a different preschool program for next year because it'll be much less expensive than where she is now and will make the unpaid time more easily doable.
DH will take at least 2 weeks of PTO and I'm hoping will also take the full week of Thanksgiving. 

hollowway

I have to save money over the next 7 months so I have the cushion while on Mat Leave... But I'd really love to stay home the first year again like I did with DD. DH will have to save his vacation and work over time to use as comp time so he can have paid Pat Leave. 

AdmiralKitty

I'll be leaving my job in December and rolling onto the hubs insurance Jan 1.  I took all my vacation in October (4 weeks) so that I could have a month off before I'm due to rest/nest. I'll probably just start my maternity leave Nov1 since I'm not worried about saving it for after birth. The only way this is possible is because H got a new job that puts us in a better financial position and my company offers a "buyout" each year that will give me half a year's salary in a lump sum to leave in Dec. (So weird, I know. But is a great way to get rid of people that want to leave and are dead weight but need some incentive to do so). 

talkthewholetime

I'm a teacher - I'll go back to work Sept 6, and leave Oct. 15. I can take 20 sick days before, and 20 days after that I have banked up - I used 35 with DD, and should have enough to take the 40 again. Then I'll get 6 weeks FMLA partially paid, 6 weeks FMLA unpaid. I also get 6 weeks paid from my private disability policy. That takes me to somewhere around March or April, but I'm just going to go unpaid and take the rest of the year.

If I go back, it'll be Sept. 2017. 2 kids in daycare is basically what I make, LOL.

zrain

I used up 6 weeks of FMLA in January for a back injury, so I was freaking out a little about getting my full 12 weeks of maternity leave, but I just realized it'll (hopefully) be a new year by the time I've used up the other 6 weeks for 2016. I haven't fully explored what exactly I get for leave, but I heard there's a possibility for a total of 18 weeks (unpaid), so I'm hoping we'll be able to afford that (using short term disability for part of it, as well as all the PTO I've been saving up).

comealongponds

I'm in Canada so I'm entitled to a full year through EI. My employer tops up to like 86% of my salary for the first six months, then it drops down to 55% (ouch). I'm planning on taking the full year, and job hunting for something lower stress and closer to home for when I go back, otherwise I'll go back part time. DH works in a family business (his dad is his boss) so he'll probably take the first two weeks off while we try to establish some semblance of a routine and then he'll go back. Luckily his dad is flexible so he can take a day off midweek and make it up later without giving any notice so I'm sure that'll come in handy!

atcwag

ewiltz1921 said:

I'm already a stay at home mom.  My husband is military.  While we're in the hospital he gets time and it doesn't count.  Then I think they are changing paternity leave to 14 days. So our plan is to have c section (if I need one) on nov1 and get out of hospital that Friday.  He'll take paternity leave starting Monday. And then after take an addition 12 days of leave.  That would put him being off nov1-dec-4   Which I'm hoping will give me Time to get adjusted to two.  He is also taking Christmas off.   If we had family close to us the. He would only take paternity leave and go back but being 9 hrs away with not much of a support system I know I'll need the help 

Why would you think you need/plan for c-section?

KilgraveMadeMeDoIt

atcwag said:

ewiltz1921 said:

I'm already a stay at home mom.  My husband is military.  While we're in the hospital he gets time and it doesn't count.  Then I think they are changing paternity leave to 14 days. So our plan is to have c section (if I need one) on nov1 and get out of hospital that Friday.  He'll take paternity leave starting Monday. And then after take an addition 12 days of leave.  That would put him being off nov1-dec-4   Which I'm hoping will give me Time to get adjusted to two.  He is also taking Christmas off.   If we had family close to us the. He would only take paternity leave and go back but being 9 hrs away with not much of a support system I know I'll need the help 

Why would you think you need/plan for c-section?

She mentions already being a SAHM, so I'm guessing this isn't her first kid and she likely has reason to believe she will have a C/S based on her previous experience. 

While I realize that pregnancy tends to be a bit of a barrier-breaking experience, you did just basically ask why she ISN'T using her vagina for something, and that's actually a really intrusive question. It's between her and her doctor/other care provider. 

kns1988

I started a new job November 30th, which means I don't think I'll have maternity until November 30th - pretty sure it's a year after your hire date. I should have about 3 weeks vacation though, so I'm hoping I can use the vacation until the maternity kicks in. All in all, I'd be happy to be on leave for 8 weeks. 12 seems like too much and it's a busy time at work, but I might feel differently when baby is here. H is a camp director and works from home for most of the year. During the summer season, he lives at the camp. Luckily, the baby will be born in the off season so he'll be home.

Our big discussion point is where the baby will be during the summer. The camp is over an hour commute to my work. We're talking about maybe getting a nanny to help H watch the baby during the day at the camp (since he's also working), and then I'll be there most evenings and on the weekends. Ugh, I get super unhappy thinking about being away from LO at all, but I also don't want to have a 6 month old on a crazy back and forth schedule and have to put him or her in daycare needlessly. So it's either drive 3ish hours round trip a day or suck it up for 3 months and let H be primary caregiver like we planned. Things are so different when they're not hypothetical!

2undertwo2bee

I will most likely need a c section because I had one 10 months ago with my daughter.  I was high risk with her so had to have one.  Some Drs will allow for a vbac and I intend to ask but my dr last time in the hospital mentioned further kids would need to be repeat. I'm not sure why she said that I was pretty out of it from the emergency c section and loosing a majority of my blood during the surgery lol.    Also my husband may be go tdy and if he does he'll only have a limited time to be here for the birth so I might prefer one so he could for sure be there.     I honestly just want a happy healthy baby if they come vaginal or cesarean I'll be happy lol.  I Learned a lot with my last to kinda roll with the flow and be flexible. 

stepamos

I live in CA and we get 55% disability and my company pays the remaining 45% so I'll get my full pay after a week of PTO. Maternity leave can start at 36 weeks for a normal pregnancy so I plan on leaving then. You can take 6-8 weeks disability after birth and an additional 6 weeks paid family leave. Total of 16-18 weeks, however, my doctor wrote me out an additional 6 weeks later time so I'm going to try for that again. All in all I was out almost 6 months with my son. It was the perfect amount of time so I'm hoping for that again. 

atcwag

KilgraveMadeMeDoIt said:

atcwag said:

ewiltz1921 said:

I'm already a stay at home mom.  My husband is military.  While we're in the hospital he gets time and it doesn't count.  Then I think they are changing paternity leave to 14 days. So our plan is to have c section (if I need one) on nov1 and get out of hospital that Friday.  He'll take paternity leave starting Monday. And then after take an addition 12 days of leave.  That would put him being off nov1-dec-4   Which I'm hoping will give me Time to get adjusted to two.  He is also taking Christmas off.   If we had family close to us the. He would only take paternity leave and go back but being 9 hrs away with not much of a support system I know I'll need the help 

Why would you think you need/plan for c-section?

She mentions already being a SAHM, so I'm guessing this isn't her first kid and she likely has reason to believe she will have a C/S based on her previous experience. 

While I realize that pregnancy tends to be a bit of a barrier-breaking experience, you did just basically ask why she ISN'T using her vagina for something, and that's actually a really intrusive question. It's between her and her doctor/other care provider. 

2undertwo2bee said:

I will most likely need a c section because I had one 10 months ago with my daughter.  I was high risk with her so had to have one.  Some Drs will allow for a vbac and I intend to ask but my dr last time in the hospital mentioned further kids would need to be repeat. I'm not sure why she said that I was pretty out of it from the emergency c section and loosing a majority of my blood during the surgery lol.    Also my husband may be go tdy and if he does he'll only have a limited time to be here for the birth so I might prefer one so he could for sure be there.     I honestly just want a happy healthy baby if they come vaginal or cesarean I'll be happy lol.  I Learned a lot with my last to kinda roll with the flow and be flexible. 

Sorry @2undertwo2bee if my previous comment was interpreted as assuming and rude. I didn't mean for it to be. I didn't catch the "SAHM" part of your post, nor your username. My question wasn't meant to be prying. I was just thrown off by the "if I need one" comment. It totally makes sense now. I see so many, especially, FTM who think C sections are the norm and not the anomaly. No ill will in my previous post. 

atcwag

I plan to take the entire (pitiful) 12 weeks FMLA I'm entitled to. Honestly, talking about it makes me so sad. It just isn't enough time. 
My husband's vacation was already previously scheduled for the 2nd half of December until after the New Year, so depending on what day of the week I give birth, he may take a few days off and then have a week to a few weeks until he has a few weeks of vacation. 
I have a STD policy and nearly enough PTO saved up to have the entire 12 weeks paid for, so between that and the tax deduction, I'm making money on this pregnancy...Wish I could use it to take more time off. 

2undertwo2bee

My phone is not letting me reply. To tag you but none taken at all. I just fig I would explain since you did ask. It doesn't bother me.  Lol. And my original username wouldn't have given it away. I agree. I would hope people would only view c sections as a last option. Because to be honest recovery sucks lol. 

g8rmama_16

Anyone else want to move to Canada? 

Allisong124

peachykeen17 said:

Ugh that sounds so nice! 
I get short term disability which pays 70% for 6 weeks.

I have heard a little about this. Is it difficult to do? I probably wont even a have a weeks worth of vacation time when I have the baby.

beforeyou

@allisong124 My company provides short term disability, so all I have to do is have my supervisor and administrator sign a short term disability form that I fill out. Then I have to send it in to HR. Not all companies provide short term disability, and some provide it but you have to sign up for and pay into it, from what I understand. I'm not entirely sure how it works if it's not already provided. Sorry I'm not much help. You could always contact HR and find out your company's policies regarding it. 

hoosierfan

I'm probably going to end up doing 6 weeks full leave and then going back to work part time for two weeks while my husband takes his two weeks of leave.  We are on FMLA but I work for the state and get a lot of leave.  I will have about 7 weeks of saved leave.  I make more and carry our insurance so I really do need to be working.  Husband makes less and has more flexibility but gets only FMLA and has fewer leave days built up.