Having trouble staying calm

mskeenan

Hi everyone! I just kind of need to vent. I'm 5-6 weeks pregnant  (last US dated me a little over 6 weeks) and I know many of you have seen that I had some cramping/bleeding at the beginning of my pregnancy on and off. Well Thursday I was driving home from work and all of a sudden I had the most INTENSE back cramps followed by an increase in (TMI) bright red blood. I'm talking more than a period. I went to the ER because the blood just continued to pouring (gross) out of me. Of course the ER doc scared me with 'well it could be a MC and if it is there is nothing we can do". They sent me for an US and found the baby and his/her heartbeat. The US tech said everything looked perfectly normal. The radiologist then came back and said they could see SCH and that would account for all of the bleeding and cramping. They reassured me everything was ok and sent me home. Well of course after that I couldn't sleep so I went to my RE the following day. The nurse at my RE was worried they wouldn't find a baby with all of the bleeding I was describing and sure enough when the US was done the baby was in there, looked perfect with his/her little heart beating away. I pleaded with the nurse and the doc to just be frank with me about my chances of MC occurring . They both said that while my amount of bleeding was pretty abrnomal that they were not worried about the baby. They said they could not see the SCH the radiologist was talking about, though. They said my chances of a live birth at this point were pretty high especially now that a heart beat is detected. I was taken off Crinone and put on PIO because they didn't want me putting anything up there to irritate things.  

I am just so terrified. I am somewhat relieved that after 2 ultrasounds the baby is exactly where it needs to be, is growing appropriately and has a heartbeat. I'm STILL bleeding. While it is not as heavy as it was before, it's still very alarming. I'm having trouble staying calm. I was told to stay calm and lay low and my mind is just going to some very scary places. Maybe my doc has a bad machine and couldn't see the SCH? I don't know how I'm going to get through until next Wednesday for my next ultrasound.

Minnie1155

I'm so sorry you are going through this, it sounds scary. I'm glad you to see the baby and he/she is still looking good. It is hard to stay relaxed and calm, especially when people are telling you to. I know you need to take it easy, maybe trying something like watching a funny movie or having a friend over to visit to help keep yourself busy. Thinking of you and sending positive thoughts!

suchaglencoco

It is very possible that with all of the bleeding you described, that your body bled most of the sch out.  It's a good thing they couldn't see the sch anymore! Your re probably has one of the best machines money can buy and they would have definitely been able to see if there was still an issue. I also believe your re would have told you any concerns they had and would not lie to you about what they believe your chances of a life birth are at thus point.
Take it very easy, try to keep your mind busy with a new book, tv show or movie marathon, see if any friends or family want to grab a bite to eat the next few days to give something else to focus on.
Unfortunately, you have "infertility brain" and you may not feel 100% confident for your entire pregnancy. We had 2 SCHs our first trimester and we would say "once it's gone, we'll be more confident". Then it was "we just need to make it to 12 weeks to feel confident". Then 16 weeks, 20 weeks, 24 weeks... honestly, I was worried until I saw our twins on the outside. It stunk and others around us didn't understand our internal struggle to be completely happy and not constantly worried, but it is completely normal. We struggled for so long that it skewed how we view pregnancy. 
Hopefully, this is your first hurdle and milestone to get to in pregnancy! 

tvh1982

I agree with the above, with that amount of bleeding you might got the sch bled out and is nearly invisible.
Dont worry about you worrying as that will not impact the outcome, it would only be nicer for you if you didn't!
(it helps my worrying, as it stops me to worry about worrying, so I worry a little less)
Definitely find fun things to do you can do at home being relaxed. Get friends over for some relaxing company.
Im pretty convinced your RE would have said something if (s)he wasn't as confident, so try to keep that in mind.
Keep going strong, you've got this, and your sweet little  baby showed you it kickass by showing you its heartbeat!

AandDM2014

I personally am a worrier, so I totally get where you're coming from. I also know that it won't do you any good. If you doctor was concerned, he or she would have told you. If he or she isn't concerned, then you should trust that they went to medical school, with extra schooling to become an RE. Dr. Google probably won't make you feel any better, but if you must, spend just 5 minutes looking stuff up, then move on to something else, something not pregnancy related. I would 2nd, 3rd, 4th what everyone else said about finding a good movie or tv show to watch, and just take it easy this weekend.

I hope that you feel better soon, and that you can, at some point, enjoy your pregnancy.

rachlee2010

I am right there with you. I am a huge worrier and after having a miscarriage last year it's impossible not to worry. I haven't had bleeding like you (i'm also not as far along as you) I am 5 w 2days but last night I had some spotting and today I had a very tiny bit more. I am going crazy and barely slept last night with worry even though the nurse on call didn't seem concerned about it at all.  Every time I feel anything going on down there now I am worried..if I feel TMI what feels like discharge moving around I have to check to make sure it's not blood. If I feel a tiny cramp or twinge I worry it's the start of cramping.  I am literally going crazy and with no sleep I am a mess..hoping I can relax a bit and sleep tonight.  

Good luck...btw..I have a few friends who had SCH (and I see a ton of people on here with them) and they go on to be just fine and have healthy babies

AdorkablePixie

@mskeenan I second what everyone else said, I think your RE would have said if he/she was worried and they are confident so I'd try to not worry so much. Trust me, I know it's hard! It sounds like it was just the SCH bleeding out. I hope it stops soon and the rest of the pregnancy is normal and healthy!

riveridgional

@mskeenan I'm thinking about you and hoping everything has gotten better with your bleeding scare! Do you have another appointment set?

laur2835

I've been thinking of you too @mskeenan ....how is everything going???

tvh1982

same here @mskeenan. I hope that its a 'no news is good news' and you are doing well.

suchaglencoco

Been sending you good vibes and checking in for an update. 

mskeenan

Ladies! I am so so sorry I fell off the grid. I have so much catching up to do to see how everyone is doing! I have been struggling (in a good way though) to get through the last week. Morning (all day ) sickness completely knocked me out and I have missed a ton of work but I'm at least glad my pregnancy is still going well. I am 7 weeks, 1 day and have heard and seen my little one's heartbeat. My doc put me on Diclegis(sorry for misspelling) so I'm now somewhat functional . I really appreciate everyone's kind words. I go in again this Wednesday for my next US. I'm praying everything is ok. I haven't bled/spotted in over a week so I'll take that as good news.

Piperella

So good to see this!  I saw you had logged on quite a few times the past few days but hadn't posted.  Sorry about the ms, but glad things are going well!

laur2835

Thank goodness @mskeenan!!! You had us worried! Lol sorry about the feeling crummy part, but hey, we'll take it right?!!

suchaglencoco

Great news!!! And morning sickness is a mixed bag. I woke my husband from excitement at 11 pm the first time I had it! 
So happy you're doing well.

KidShrink

Glad you're feeling better! I was on diclectin (canadian equivalent) from weeks 7 to 13, and that helped SO much (I felt so good at 10 weeks I decided to skip it for a day...BAD idea!).