FFFC - 3/25 — The Bump
February 2016 Moms

FFFC - 3/25

Haven't seen one if these in a while...

Re: FFFC - 3/25

  • @kirkie928 Ahahaha!!! That actually made me laugh out loud!

    Mine is that my DH wanted his mom to come up and hang out for the weekend while he throws his brother's bachelor party and the guys go to that. I didn't directly veto it but I was not enthusiastic. I really like my MIL and we get along well, but she's not comfortable with me nursing out in the open and wants to hold the baby constantly when I'm not nursing her. I totally understand that (and they love 5 hours away) but she'll push a pacifier/rocking/other types of soothing when I know the baby just wants to nurse and I'm a weenie about intervening. She also keeps offering to stay up with the baby when she wakes to eat in the middle of the night even though DD usually goes right back to sleep. I know MIL just wants to be involved which makes me feel terrible because the way she does things changes our routines. The changes make me anxious that I'll end up with a baby who is up all night (like MIL's kids were) and who will only take a bottle (and EP sounds like so much work). It gets easier, right? We're all figuring things out and establishing boundaries and routines. And things will be easier when DD is older and doesn't sometimes want the to be on the boob constantly, right?!

    I don't think I confessed anything other than anxiety and a lack of interpersonal skils  :s
  • @mwmiller4 I can totally relate except it's my FIL. It's awkwardly passive agressive between us now bc I stopped catering to his ideas and wishes. I know eventually it will get better as LO gets older and once I stood my ground I felt less anxious about the whole situation but it was a HARD step to take. Hang in there and use those momma instincts to do what's best for you and your LO. As long as you're respectful about it you'll feel better in the long run. 
  • middy411middy411
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited March 2016
    I can totally second and elaborate on what you ladies feel. I can't stand ANY family since we've had the baby. I think I see how controlling of a mom I am. FIL kept wanting to "play" with the baby with toys when she was 2 weeks old and she was exhausted trying to fall asleep. He kept shouting "whatsup?!" In her face and it would startle her awake. Then he would make popping sounds with his mouth and she would start to make a crying face and begin drifting off again and then it would start all over. I finally told DH that I thought she was tired and didn't want her to get to a point where she was overtired and fussy and he took her from FIL to let her sleep. MIL will come up with my BIL and his gf for the "afternoon" and stay til late at night. They just sit in our main room and watch tv so I have to keep leaving to nurse or pump or do anything. They usually make us miss dinner and don't offer to help with anything around the house or grabbing dinner. Then we have to figure out how we are going to eat and actually try to get to bed before midnight. I thought family would be more helpful! My mom came right after DD was born and all she wanted to do was hold her and rub her to sleep. I missed so many feedings bc when I told my mom that it was time for DD to wake up/diaper change etc. she just stared at me like she wasn't going to give the baby up. Then she would make loud kissing noises on DD every 5 seconds and I thought I was going to go mad. She also kept forcing the pacifier on DD who we JUST brought home for the hospital even though I said many times that I didn't want to introduce a pacifier yet since I was trying to control her strong sucking/painful latching habits. Again, no help around the house and once bedtime came she went upstairs and slept the whole night while DH and I were up dealing with the effects of all her oversleeping during the day. I know I just sound whiney and controlling but whenever I hear that any of our parents want to come visit I get into an instant bad mood. DH sort of agrees but is more tolerant, especially with his family. They keep asking us to come visit them and his mom is used to us always traveling to see her on holidays because she lives alone. Um, sorry, it's not all about you anymore. We have a baby to take care of and I'm not stressing myself out trying to travel 2 hours to be at your house where we have NO baby gear whatsoever. I really thought grandparents would be helpful but apparently it's been way too long since they've had babies to understand that they're totally hurting instead of helping. UGH! Also, MIL and FIL keep calling DH late at night (past 10 and 11pm) and we have the baby in the room with us for now. Thank you for waking everyone up bc we don't need sleep! Please call whenever you feel like it. Don't mind common courtesy. End rant.  :s
  • @mwmiller4 @srecupido @middy411 yaaaaaasssssssssss. You all took the words out of my mouth. I'm a miserable mom to be around I think. Sorry not sorry! 
  • @paytonpedro I second confession one. As for two, I was in the anti sleeping with baby camp. Then I realized how much better the two of us slept.
    It's a natural thing, baby is used to being connected to you.... As long as you're doing it safely, don't feel guilty. 
  • @mommaz1 @middy411 @srecupido thank you a billion times over for understanding and sharing!!

    @paytonpedro I do #6 for pretty much every nap DD takes. Both of us sleep better that way until she starts sleep screaming because of gas pain (we call them angry farts). It's real startling when she's that near my ears.  
  • paytonpedropaytonpedro
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited March 2016
    @dragonfly321 & @mwmiller4  I'm so glad I'm not alone because I felt guilty for sure! I don't even tell my husband I do it because that's how ashamed I was! 

    Edit to add I literally laughed out loud when I read "angry farts" and then I told H and we both laughed. We will be using that! Haha
  • g0lightly8706g0lightly8706
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited March 2016
     DH and I have been switching off nights at the hospital to get some real sleep and be with our dog while she's on her 10 day bout of antibiotics for her UTI that i had mentioned. Although I miss them so much on my nights at home, having the quiet time feels kinda nice.. and then i feel guilty about that. I love my daughter to death but being in that hospital room is seriously making me go insane so i try to really just relax with a glass of wine and forget about everything. But like i said, i feel super guilty for trying to forget about it so it's messing with my mind  :/
    ETA: I guess I'll mention now we found out the UTI was not just caused by bad luck.. she has a duplex collecting system so basically she has two tubes leading from her kidney to her bladder instead of one which can lead to back flow and bacteria a lot easier. We will be sent home with antibiotics that we give orally and see how she does on that for 4 weeks. As we see how she does, we will be scheduled for a scan to see exactly how bad it is in there and if she will need surgery to fix it. This.. has been one hell of a week.
    Married: 8/25/12
    Started TTC: 1/1/14
    BFP: 6/1/15
    Baby Girl Athena Born: 2/7/16

  • I agree with all previous posters on the various topics! I know I'll miss the newborn stage, but man it's exhausting, and makes me feel like I never want to go through this again. 

    Confession: My MIL came for a visit today and seriously angered me. Today Is all about my MIL- rants below:

    #1: She always tells me how my son is cold and tries to bundle him up with a hat and gloves and blankets when she is here. It's 70' outside and 73' in my house, he's not freaking cold!

    #2: She likes to tell me when the baby is hungry- ummmm no, he just ate, I know his feeding schedule and he's not hungry, he is crying because he's tired and you just woke him up! 

    #3: she swears the TV Is going to blind him and if he so much as looks in the direction of the TV, she shields his eyes and tells him "no, no, no- no TV for 2 years!" 

    #4: she stays for like 3-4 hours at a time. I tell her the baby is napping and it might be a while before he wakes up, but she insists to wait for him and that it's not a big deal to wait. So by the time he wakes up, she's been here for two hours and then wants to spend another two hours playing with him. Seriously, pleaseeeeeee just leave already, you have outstayed your welcome. 

    #5: she told us how laying him in his rock and play is stunting his growth and he's not growing properly because it's squishing his legs and he can't stretch them out. I was mind blown! Like Seriously? Not sure what she is looking at, because he's got plenty of room to stretch his legs and Guess what, he grew 1.5" since he was born and the pediatrician said he's exactly where he should be on the growth chart. 

    #6: she tells me the baby isn't allowed to speak English around her and he's going to have to learn Spanish to communicate with her. I'm all for my son being bi-lingual, as his father is and my son is half Hispanic, but please don't demand my son only speak a certain language with you. 

    #7: she keeps asking me when he can have water. He's 8 weeks old, he can not have water for another 4 months. Why.do.you.keep.asking.me.about.water?!?!

    Ugh, thanks for letting me vent! 

    @paytonpedro I'm right there with ya! I let the dogs out and then tell them they'll have to wait a few minutes to eat, because I need to feed the baby, then I forget and by the time I remember it's so late I just have them wait for dinner. Ugh. 

    @middy411 I can relate on the family! Just knowing people are coming over irritates me. Whyyyyyyyy do they have to stay so long?! An hour visit is good, but no they just sit on the couch and hang out for hours on end. It throws off my routine and our schedule and makes me want to go insane! 

  • @robinj716 just read your rant and i couldn't imagine having to deal with them but our rock n' play has been a savior since we got it because the second she hits it she stops crying and anyone who doubted it i would tell them to back off cause it's the only thing saving me from a 24/7 crying baby. kudos to you for keeping your cool, cause i definitely wouldn't have at that point!
    Married: 8/25/12
    Started TTC: 1/1/14
    BFP: 6/1/15
    Baby Girl Athena Born: 2/7/16

  • @g0lightly8706 I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all this but please don't feel guilty taking some time for yourself. Hospitals drain you and it's wonderful that you and your husband have a plan so that you each can get some peaceful rest at home. I hope you all get to go home as a family soon and that your LO is happy and healthy! 

  • @g0lightly8706 what a horrible week! I'm so sorry that the UTI turned out to be more complicated and I can't imagine how scary that must be. You absolutely deserve a glass (or bottle) of wine and some sleep--I hope you get it and aren't up feeling guilty or worrying!

    @robinj716 my MIL also asked about water bottles. I didn't know it was a thing (or used to be a thing) and ended up googling it out of confusion!

  •  @lilqt3929 @mwmiller4 ;
    thank you.. i know feeling guilty is silly considering what we're going thru but it's something about my DH and LO being there while i'm at home with wine.. it just is weird, however i'm very much trying to relax and just soak up every second i am not in that damn hospital room. thanks again for reassuring me i need some me time right now cause man, this is exhausting. 
    Married: 8/25/12
    Started TTC: 1/1/14
    BFP: 6/1/15
    Baby Girl Athena Born: 2/7/16

  • Earlier this evening I needed to do some chores upstairs and the baby was sleeping in her bouncer downstairs with DH. I told him there was a bottle in the fridge if she woke up hungry. I may or may not have drawn out my chores by a good hour just so i could get some alone time.
  • Not Friday but I totally put DS on Saturday morning cartoons with a large quantity of dry cereal so I could nap on the couch. Ended up getting 2 hours of extra sleep. Sorry not sorry.

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