Fearful

CRJones1978

Hi ladies! A little history and there is talk of loss here so if you want to move along, I get it and totally understand. 

My husband and I started our journey January 2014. Our RE takes a less aggressive approach. We started IUI in October 2014. The first cycle failed; however, the next 2 cycles worked and I became pregnant. Unfortunately, I miscarried twice. I took some much needed time off and started the process again in February 2016. Since IUI works for me, we tried that again. And I'm pregnant...4w6d to be exact. I had my first blood test Monday and my HCG was 508 and my progesterone was 47.6. My nurse said everything is starting out really good. My numbers are where they should be for how far along I am. As a precaution, my doctor put me on progesterone supplements twice per day. 

So here's the issue. I'm terrified of another miscarriage. Initially I was really excited and now fear has set in. I want to remain optimistic and hopeful but I feel paralyzed by the fear of something going wrong. I have my second blood test Monday and then they will schedule the ultrasound. 

I hate the waiting. I just want to fast forward 8 months so I can hold my baby. 

MRSCORKER

I'm so sorry for your losses. I had an early miscarriage as well this past November so this pregnancy has been riddled with anxiety. The only thing I can say is there is literally nothing you can do except take care of yourself and take your prenatal vitamin. Unfortunately, if a pregnancy isn't viable, no amount of worrying can change that. I don't know if the anxiety will ever go away completely but at amost 10 weeks, Ive noticed I have more good days now than anxious days. I hope you have a happy and healthy 9 months! Try to relax as much as you can. 

ETA: check out your BMB. There is likely a PGAL thread there where other loss moms can share thoughts, fears, and support. I've found it helpful!

megstervt

I had an early loss in June and get it.  I was SO excited and then SO scared.  I'm 22 weeks now and the anxiety lurks, but it's more in the background now.  I don't frantically check the toilet paper every time I use the bathroom and when I feel cramping my first thought is now "things are growing" instead of "oh god".  Try to find some coping skills an definitely connect with others on your BMB!

Alygohome

I had two losses before my daughter and am now 18 weeks pregnant with my second child. I was terrified the whole time I was pregnant with dd. But, I tried to tell myself that past pregnancy outcomes do not predict this pregnancy outcomes and worrying wont change anything or prevent a loss.

Best of luck and sorry for your losses.

mrszoess

I had two losses also and am 10 weeks today. this time we heard the heartbeat which was a first and we've been told it's progressing perfectly. it's normal to be nervous, I get nervous every time I wipe after I use the bathroom (which is 20 times a day!)