Leaving baby

kdoak2015

So ladies your all going to think I'm crazy as most of your babies are in daycare already but we get 12m mat leave in Canada and I've yet to leave DD with anyone other than DH and only an hour tops. She's 4m Monday. I know it's good to get out so DH and I planned a date for Friday but I'm freaking out a bit. I left DD with DH Wednesday and it went horrible. I can home to a hysterical baby with hives from crying for 20min. Not sure what happened but DH couldn't console her. I'm now worried for Friday and she's been super clingy.

looking for coping strategies, tips for leaving the first time. What if the sitter can't calm her down? 

relizabethp

I'm not going to lie my DD is very good with other people but I have been leaving her with others since she was 5 weeks. I always make sure she is feed and changed before I leave so that she will be content for a sitter or I schedule my leaving with her nap so that I can put her down and she will sleep for the majority of the time that I'm gone . Also I try to avoid leaving during the witching hour bc she is just fussy no matter what during that time period and you may want to consider that 12 weeks is a wonder week and babies are more fussy and clingy . I would just warn the babysitter of that and make sure that they know the best ways that you soothe your baby in case they end up in that situation and let them know that if it gets too much you are okay with them putting the baby in a safe place and having them call you so that you can come home and help. I always emphasize that in a nice way so whomever is watching her won't feel like they are putting me out if they do have to call.

*Copied from duplicate thread*

oregonmommy-2

My first week back to work all I thought about was my little guy.. But then I realized he is having an easier time then I am.. He is a happy baby and even if he is fussy my husband can soothe him. I would suggest leaving your LO with someone that you feel comfortable with and trust can handle your baby fussy or happy. 

And try to enjoy yourself while you are away!! The more you go out and leave your little with someone here and there the more comfortable you will be when you have to leave the baby. I am 3 weeks back to work now and I actually enjoy work and don't stress or obsess over what's happening with the baby while I'm gone. 

dmendo01

My DD can be very fussy at times and I have been back at work for over a month now. There are days that my sitter says "well, she cried most of the day." And others where she does better. More recently she is doing well the last few days consistently. It is very hard to hear they cried the whole time..and makes for a fussy baby that all you wanna do is cuddle bc you haven't seen all day. My best advice is just to do it anyway, take what you can to the sitter to soothe her (I.e - we drag her swaddle, RNP, and kinderpack everywhere) and she will figure everything out in time. Just try your best not to stress too much. I did and now I don't because what can I do? I pick her up early when I can and I am happy that she is finally adjusting this past week and my sitter is figuring her out better. Good luck momma! And btw--so jealous of your year of maternity leave!!

kdoak2015

dmendo01 said:

My DD can be very fussy at times and I have been back at work for over a month now. There are days that my sitter says "well, she cried most of the day." And others where she does better. More recently she is doing well the last few days consistently. It is very hard to hear they cried the whole time..and makes for a fussy baby that all you wanna do is cuddle bc you haven't seen all day. My best advice is just to do it anyway, take what you can to the sitter to soothe her (I.e - we drag her swaddle, RNP, and kinderpack everywhere) and she will figure everything out in time. Just try your best not to stress too much. I did and now I don't because what can I do? I pick her up early when I can and I am happy that she is finally adjusting this past week and my sitter is figuring her out better. Good luck momma! And btw--so jealous of your year of maternity leave!!

Thanks some days I'm jealous and want to go back to work lol. Luckily the sitter is coming here so she'll have her comfort. 

dmendo01

@kdoak2015 oh that's great! That will make things better. I still feel like no one can soothe DD like I can, but other people will figure it out I guess...they have to right? Haha that's what I tell myself to keep my sanity. At some point things will get better! 

taysun

My mother watches DD on the weekends while I work. Right now we're living with her (only for one more week though) so she's familiar with my mother. That being said, the days where I leave earlier are always better. Even though she sees her every night, DD does not like my mum to take care of her in the evenings if I'm around and she gets fussy if I go out in the evening and leave her home with my mum. I find it's worse if I'm the one who put her to sleep and she wakes up to someone else. She seems to get upset if I've started her routine for a nap or sleep and have someone else take over. 
I think the first time will be the hardest but each time you leave her you'll learn what makes it easier (or harder) for for your DD. Definitely let the sitter know what normally works for you to settle her and what her routine usually is for the time you'll be gone. However the sitter might have to figure out her own way to calm your DD because what works for you might not work for them. 
Wishing you good luck!

kdoak2015

Thanks All! I'll let you know how it goes but I'm sure it'll be fine.

laurabwalker

I think it's different all the time, sometimes my husband can't soothe her by sometimes she's fine. I only leave for like 40 mins at a time because she won't take a bottle, and I feel stressed a lot but now I see, it's never the same,'so there is a good chance it will go great and you'll enjoy your night out!

kdoak2015

laurabwalker said:

I think it's different all the time, sometimes my husband can't soothe her by sometimes she's fine. I only leave for like 40 mins at a time because she won't take a bottle, and I feel stressed a lot but now I see, it's never the same,'so there is a good chance it will go great and you'll enjoy your night out!

Thanks your so right! 

kdoak2015

Update: it went really well and I wasn't as nervous as I thought I'd be. Apparently she was an angel for my
friend who was watching her. We saw allegiant which I don't recommend. We then came hope picked her up and went for dinner with her. 3 hours away from her was enough for me. 

dmendo01

I'm glad it went well! Makes it easier on us when we hear that