Also, am I the only one who thinks it's a bit strange that the original poster of this thread is now an unfound user and someone I've never seen post here? I wonder if it was just someone trying to stir the pot and failed...
I actually posted in the introduction thread several weeks ago and participated in the weekend ticker change on Sunday with the intention of going from lurker to actively participating in discussions.
...and clearly I would make a terrible troll because there have been nothing but awesome and supportive responses from everyone. I love it!
I have actually found, that users with a "+" in their name can't be found later. I was looking for someone from the bump a while ago, and although their bump name was the same and they were active, it said user not found. So strange.
Wife to A; Mama to C (2009), N (2011), H (2014) & baby F due 09/16/16
I was raised Catholic and the husband was raised southern baptist. I stopped going to church around 12 and do not believe in god and husband doesn't either. My mom is still Catholic and his parents and sister are super religious. Ten years ago they moved to Memphis and got hit hard core with the Jesus stick. We are going to raise our kids without religion and we will not be baptizing them. My mom is sad but she understands that they are our kids and it is our choice. We have not had this conversation with his family but I know it is going to be a problem especially when we go out to visit for Christmas or thanksgiving. Since his religious change, husband has also changed political affiliations which is already causing some issues with his family. Needless to say, im not looking forward to that conversation
Hi Ladies! So when I was last on TB we did a Faith Friday thread that was a great way to express opinions on Faith w/o being judgmental or mean. Some days we shared inspirational scriptures and it really helped through a lot of challenges some of us were facing. I'm Baptist, been a minister for 10 years and have friends of lots of different beliefs. There is a Christian bump group but you have to get approved to join (talk about what would Jesus not do!) But I understand the idea of a safe space. It may be a cool idea for S'16 for those who want to chime in and share. Meaning we are all human and FFFC is still awesome
This board totally gets how to be polite, and I love it!
eliza+gleave I hope you don't feel ostracized or belittled! We've had some mean-hearted people try to stir the pot around here, and have gotten cautious as a result. I, for one, am loving this thread. We're all so different, but we all share the common bond of wanting our children to be fulfilled.
Thurstobertay I think you totally nailed it with "it's a heart thing, not a brain thing." Not to say religion and education can't go hand-in-hand, but I think it's wise to recognize different types of intelligence.
Comming out of left field here. I'm Hindu and DH is an atheist with a love of pagan mythology. DD gets Norse mythology read to her at bedtime a lot and she loves it.
Happy Atheist here! I was raised in an extremely Catholic home and DH was raised with no religion. I always questioned the church, even from a young age, but my mom forced me to attend every weekend, vacation bible school, etc. and I just resented being forced into something I thought had a lot of fundamental flaws. It took a long time to be open to my parents but they're really tolerant and respect my decision now to not attend or follow anything with the church.
That being said, my husband and I are really open and plan on exposing our kids to any religion they express interest in. My husband had zero exposure to religion growing up and, while he's atheist, he feels like he missed out on a part of culture if that makes sense. Even well known bible stories like Adam and Eve are foreign to him. I want our child to feel like they could pick what felt right, or nothing at all, without feeling like they were denied the chance to be informed.
We are not a religious household, in fact we purposefully had no mention of God or faith in our wedding ceremony at all. DH is definitely atheist, and I feel like I'm somewhere in limbo. I don't practice any religion, and I don't really believe in one "creator" of all things, but sometimes I feel like there may be a higher power, I'm not really sure. I also am not sure about an afterlife or anything in that realm. So I've never called myself an atheist, but maybe I am? Maybe I'm agnostic? Honestly, religion is just so foreign to me, I don't tend to think about it.
We are not a religious household, in fact we purposefully had no mention of God or faith in our wedding ceremony at all. DH is definitely atheist, and I feel like I'm somewhere in limbo. I don't practice any religion, and I don't really believe in one "creator" of all things, but sometimes I feel like there may be a higher power, I'm not really sure. I also am not sure about an afterlife or anything in that realm. So I've never called myself an atheist, but maybe I am? Maybe I'm agnostic? Honestly, religion is just so foreign to me, I don't tend to think about it.
We specifically left any religious lingo out of our wedding ceremony, too, and were married by a friend of ours who got ordained online. Ha! My MIL begged us to include the "What God has joined let no man put asunder" line or whatever but we were like nope. Sorry.
And I would say if you were to label yourself (which I am not saying you should!), your beliefs would lean more toward agnostic. I used to consider myself agnostic, but as I've grown older I've become more of an atheist. I used to believe in an afterlife (reincarnation mostly), ghosts and spirits, etc. but I don't anymore.
*************************************** FORMER USERNAME:@runningisrad
We're Christians. DH and I grew up in different denominations and agreed to marry in the Catholic church and raise our kids Catholic. Although there are many things about the church I don't agree with and plan to be open about that with my children, I do appreciate the sacraments of the Catholic church, which is why we decided to stick with the Catholic church to raise our family. Also, the priest we have is really wonderful. I definitely intend to make our kids aware of other beliefs and teach them to be accepting of that. Everyone is different and should be able to express their beliefs freely without judgement. Being a good and kind person is more important.
I was raised to celebrate Christian holidays but without any of the religious aspect to them (We were that family that kept Christ out of Christmas). My father is methodist, my mother catholic.. as kids we attended services for Easter and Christmas only when visiting family.
My husband is Jewish - went to Hebrew school, bar mitzvahed, went on his Birthright trip to Israel (as well as 2 other trips), and his mother is a Cantor. He does not attend a synagogue, but still celebrates the holy days, pretty loosely. Our wedding was under a chuppah but by a Justice of the Peace and without any mention of God.
We are raising my son (and future baby) without religion, but will teach the stories of the holy days as we celebrate them (I think they're wonderful stories to teach morals and perseverance.. but strongly disbelieve that any of it ever occurred - I am an atheist).
We have faced a bit of contention with MIL wanting to have a Bris (circumcision ceremony) or say a prayer before my son's circumcision.. we didn't allow either. Or sending us Jewish kids' books, but we're making it through.
@SLou24 and @runningisrad we also left all mention of God/Jesus/church out of our wedding but my MIL brought it up in her speech. It actually made me angry because both of our sisters (MOH/best "man") and my dad prepared speeches in advance that were about husband and I and stories of our youth and bla bla bla and she just straight up said "FIL and I have always believed and done things in this order first god, then family and then everything else and we hope that you two are able to follow our example and put God before everything you do and follow Jesus etc etc" it really upset me that she couldn't respect our wishes and also accept that her son no longer believes
I guess I would label myself as an apathetic Christian. DH is probably more agnostic than anything. Both DH and I were raised in non-Church going Christian families. While we celebrate Christmas and Easter, it is less in a religious context and more in a secular context - Christmas trees, Easter egg hunts, family get-togethers. We aren't overly religious and did not have a religious wedding ceremony/reception with the exception of my maid-of-honor saying a prayer before the reception dinner. She is more religious than I am and she felt more comfortable doing a prayer than giving a toast (she doesn't like public speaking - with a prayer, heads are bowed, no one is looking at her speak).
@SLou24 and @runningisrad we also left all mention of God/Jesus/church out of our wedding but my MIL brought it up in her speech. It actually made me angry because both of our sisters (MOH/best "man") and my dad prepared speeches in advance that were about husband and I and stories of our youth and bla bla bla and she just straight up said "FIL and I have always believed and done things in this order first god, then family and then everything else and we hope that you two are able to follow our example and put God before everything you do and follow Jesus etc etc" it really upset me that she couldn't respect our wishes and also accept that her son no longer believes
That would upset me, too.
*************************************** FORMER USERNAME:@runningisrad
@PSUBecky23- We do the menorah by the Christmas tree as well, and with my son being a Dec. 13 birthday we are busy celebrating all December long!
Did you do anything for Purim yesterday? I didn't realize it was yesterday, I think my husband will get ingredients for hamantaschen today (I guess we basically celebrate the holidays by eating the good food associated... matzo ball soup, latkes, etc)
@marikkita12 That definitely would have upset me too, and it would have upset DH a lot more than me, even. I just feel like it's your wedding, your life and your ceremony, and people should follow your wishes for what you do and do not want included.
@AnnaS930 The Jewish holidays are all about the food. So much symbolism associated with everything and I love it. We skipped Purim because it was my daughter's birthday. I always loved Purim growing up though - costumes and noise makers! Looking forward to Passover.
@PSUBecky23- agreed about the food playing such a huge role. My husband keeps Kosher for Passover, I have off and on throughout the years. I don't know that I will this year (and our son won't), but I'll still be making some delicious Passover desserts... and looking forward to cheese matza farfel (too much egg/cheese to eat any other time of the year... heart attack on a plate!!!)
DH and I are atheists as well. I'm very much a proponent for religious freedom (including freedom from religion) so I'm always interested to hear about other beliefs as long as people don't try to legislate them. As for raising my kids atheist, I want them to know a general idea of each religion and will encourage them to attend church with their friends if they choose, partly because I want them to make an informed decision for themselves, but also so that they are tolerant and accepting of people who have different beliefs than them.
@PSUBecky23- agreed about the food playing such a huge role. My husband keeps Kosher for Passover, I have off and on throughout the years. I don't know that I will this year (and our son won't), but I'll still be making some delicious Passover desserts... and looking forward to cheese matza farfel (too much egg/cheese to eat any other time of the year... heart attack on a plate!!!)
I'm sad I can't partake in the wine for seder this year. You know, because of how important wine is to the seder
I grew up sorta non-denominational Christian--my parents were VERY religious in waves. Some years we'd go to church frequently and have to have bible studies, but some years we didn't talk about it at all and never went to church. My husband grew up southern Baptist. We are both not religious now, and plan to raise our children similarly to all the other non-religious ladies in this thread--open about our beliefs/non-beliefs, but also open to letting them explore what seems true to them. Our parents have been mostly supportive of this, thankfully!
I'm surprised there are so many non-religious on here, actually! Maybe because I live in a pretty conservative area, but I'm used to being in the minority, and therefore required to keep my mouth shut.
We're Unitarians. Both of us were raised Christian, me Roman Catholic. Some of the views and hypocrisy I experienced at rhe particular church we attended scared me and I wanted NOTHING to do with religion for a long time, though I always considered myself "spiritual". We feel so lucky to have stumbled upon Unitarians as its everything I want to instill in my kids; kindess, acceptance of those who are different, encouragement to challenge what doesn't seem right, spirtuality, sense of community, caring for the earth and ALL the beings that inhabit it and social activism. We find this to be particularly important as we like to say we live in the "Bible Belt of the Midwest" and each of us, kids included, are confronted almost daily with people telling us we need to "find God and attend their church, we'd just love it". The UU church has helped us to reinforce to them that no one religion is better than another, that each person is entitled to thier own belief systems and it's ok that we are a little different than the majority here.
I will admit I was a little hesitant to click on this post at first but this group really is amazing! Another atheist here, DH grew up Christian but is really non practicing. DHs family are all fairly religious so I am always the odd man out when we are visiting, but its never usually an issue so I hope that doesn't change now that a grandchild becomes involved. I'd love for my child to learn about all religions equally and make a decision about their own beliefs from there.
I was raised Presbyterian and DH is a recovering Jehovah's Witness. I want to get more involved with church for DS but DH wants no part of it. Right now we "do good things, so basically we're good people".
I was raised Episcopal, am now an agnostic/humanist. My husband was raised Methodist, is now an atheist. A few years back we started attending our local Unitarian Universalists fellowship and got married there. Since starting our own business that required us to work on Sundays, we have become a little lax, but we definatly want to raise our child with the fellowship it offers.
I'm already dreading the looks and unsolisited responses we're going to get (especially from our in laws) when we tell them we're not having the chicken nugget baptised. Oh well. (Honestly, I kind of enjoy pissing them off a little bit.)
On last note, UUs do a RE class: a religious education class in which they learn about all the major world religions and even minor ones that are geographically close to the church (ie in America they might learn about the local native American's religions). At the end of the year, they develop a pretty specific statement of their own personal belief after having been exposed to different ideas. It's a big to do, similar to a congregation in Christian churches, and each child (about 15 years old) gets up and reads his or her statement of belief. Most of the kids say they're either athetis or humanist (God exists but isn't a big deal). Everyone claps and nods their head approvingly. I can't wait for our little guy or girl get up there and state his/her beliefs and the in laws have to smile and clap that their grandchild is, most likely, an atheist. Maybe I'll serve crow for brunch after!
@jellybiehn I'm with you. I avoided this post like the plague until I lurked every other thread on here. But it's not too bad Yay everyone. I still don't want to talk about my beliefs but yay everyone who does it respectfully!
I was raised Episcopal, am now an agnostic/humanist. My husband was raised Methodist, is now an atheist. A few years back we started attending our local Unitarian Universalists fellowship and got married there. Since starting our own business that required us to work on Sundays, we have become a little lax, but we definatly want to raise our child with the fellowship it offers.
I'm already dreading the looks and unsolisited responses we're going to get (especially from our in laws) when we tell them we're not having the chicken nugget baptised. Oh well. (Honestly, I kind of enjoy pissing them off a little bit.)
On last note, UUs do a RE class: a religious education class in which they learn about all the major world religions and even minor ones that are geographically close to the church (ie in America they might learn about the local native American's religions). At the end of the year, they develop a pretty specific statement of their own personal belief after having been exposed to different ideas. It's a big to do, similar to a congregation in Christian churches, and each child (about 15 years old) gets up and reads his or her statement of belief. Most of the kids say they're either athetis or humanist (God exists but isn't a big deal). Everyone claps and nods their head approvingly. I can't wait for our little guy or girl get up there and state his/her beliefs and the in laws have to smile and clap that their grandchild is, most likely, an atheist. Maybe I'll serve crow for brunch after!
Oh lawd we got some questions when we didn't baptize our daughter. Even people who knew we were no believers were surprised. "Yeah I know you're not religious but why aren't you baptizing her?"
uhhhhh you just answered your own question, yo.
*************************************** FORMER USERNAME:@runningisrad
@runningisrad Ugh I have a great-aunt who won't talk to my family because we haven't baptized my boys. I don't care if other people have their children baptized because that's a highly personal family-based decision, but for us, it ain't gonna happen. If my boys decide they want to be religious later in life and CHOOSE to be baptized, I think that's going to be infinitely more meaningful to them than a ritual I forced them into pre-sentience. I loooove babies but they're pretty much non-thinking meatloaves for a good portion of their infancy.
September '16 - May Signature Challenge Awkward Family Fun
I was raised in a bible thumping home church that my parents started around the year I was born. They called it "non-denominational", but it closely resembled the southern baptist doctrine. They had been asked to leave the Church of Christ congregation they were previously members of due to disagreements and teaching/discussing things that differed from the church's doctrine. I always thought of myself as a preacher's daughter as my dad was the leader of our home congregation.
DH was raised Methodist and went to church regularly growing up. Our experiences growing up in the Christian faith were somewhat different. He had a very positive experience and considers himself a devout Christian to this day. My experience was more mixed/conflicted.
I don't know what to label myself these days. DH and I were married in an Episcopal church and had planned to become more regular members but never did. Now I pretty much consider myself "spiritual", and although I still look to the teachings of Christ on occasion, I don't necessarily consider myself Christian. I would like to attend the Universalist church here, but DH would not be on board with it. The main issue I have had and still have with the Chriatian faith is the patriarchal, male-dominated aspects. Women were not allowed to teach in my church growing up and taught to submit. The sexism was so understated however that it took me many years to become truly aware of it, and with one daughter and another on the way, it concerns me. This is a discussion that I haven't even had with my husband. It's so sensitive and I feel like his faith has evolved over time, but he is reluctant to admit it. We would still like to find a congregation we fit into, but that's difficult to do being as liberal minded as we are in a bible belted conservative state.
H and I are both Catholic, yet we both think that the Catholic Church has been wrong on many issues like homosexuality and a focus on judging instead of charity. Pope Francis has given us hope that the Church is moving in the right direction. I also find it uncomfortable talking about religion because I feel people can be judgemental. I grew up in a mostly Catholic community, so when I moved and found that some Christians don't consider Catholics Christians, it was kind of shocking. I was also raised that religion is personal and my family didn't talk about it all the time, so it makes me somewhat uncomfortable when people refer to their faith in normal conversation. Great conversation, though.
I also avoided this thread thinking it'd be all drama, I'm pleasantly surprised. I was raised in a non religious household, my mother believes in God and prays on her own but does not affiliate herself with any religion, my father was an atheist until 5 years ago when he was diagnosed with metastatic melanoma. He's had 6 surgeries, chemo and immunotherapy and is miraculously alive and well when doctors predicted he wouldn't make it pass a year. I guess being told your life is over really changes your perspective of things. My brothers and I went to catholic school because of the better education (they are both atheist) and growing up religion was a big part of my life but I always questioned many of the church's views on abortion, homosexuality, and many other things. I consider myself a Catholic but I don't attend church, I have my own relationship with God and pray. I don't believe God and science and mutually exclusive, I believe the bible is very open for interpretation and not to be taken literally. The God I believe in is a God of love and acceptance, not punishment and is what I plan to teach my kids but I'm not forcing any religion on them.
I'm 29, husband is 30 Together since 2006 Married 01.17.15
I'm new to the bump and it's interesting that this is the 2nd thread I'm reading. I am an orthodox Jew, and religion is a major part of our lives. Its very interesting to see how different people talk to their kids about religion, or how they plan on making it a part of their lives. G-d is a major part of my family's life! Now it's holiday season again, with Purim having just passed on Thursday and Passover coming up next month. One thing that's different about being pregnant on Passover is that when constipation is such an issue in the first place all that matzah makes it much worse! Thank goodness for miralax! I am also very impressed how this conversation is so civil and mature even though so many people seem to have such differing views and opinions. I'm looking forward to getting to know this group better!
@rla88- My husband is Jewish (not Orthodox). We have been enjoying hammantaschen all week (my 1 year old loves them). We really enjoy sharing traditions with him (more food based than religious), looking forward to Passover.
Atheist family here. Hubby grew up in a religious family, I did not but we celebrated Christian holidays as a celebration of family. I think it's sad that when we tell people that we don't believe in a higher power that we get criticized, and we are always invited to churches of every denomination constantly. We don't feel that we need a religious frame to raise children to be respectful and good people. We respect religious beliefs, but ask that people respect our beliefs as well. Unfortunately it's become socially acceptable to put down non-believers.
@missshanab I'm so sorry you've had that experience of feeling pressured. I think it's much harder for people of religion to respect or understand people who are not, in my personal experience anyways. Before coming back to Christianity I had many friends who were Christians who could never understand why I had no desire to go to any kind of church, even youth groups as a kid. For me it was deeply personal and at the time it would really make me angry that they couldn't respect that while they had faith, at the time I was just fine with the absence of it.
As I transitioned to being an adult, friends would invite me periodically, and while I passed, I understood that it was their way of reaching out a hand of kindness, wanting to share with me the uplifting love that they felt within their faith. It's like when someone says "I'll pray for you"; I could never understand why people who aren't religious get annoyed or angry at that. That person is essentially saying that this is the highest power they call on for help and they want to extend kindness, love and support on your behalf; it's not an act of "hey athiest, you won't pray for yourself so I guess I'll do it for you", it's an act of love and kindness.
I can understand that now being of the faith, but because of my previous experiences and feelings about being invited to church I don't ask friends if they would like to join, because maybe they have a personal journey they're going on that influences their attitude toward my invitation, and that's they're journey and I will respect that. Or maybe they just don't have that belief and that's ok too.
@missshanab where I live (Tennessee), the question isn't, "Do you go to church?" it's "WHERE do you go to church?" and when you say you're nonreligious, you get looked at like you have three heads. I will never understand why many people of Christian faith feel the need to inquire about your religion, invite you to religious functions, etc. I've never been approached by a person of any other faith aside from Christianity trying to get me to join their club. Never been accosted by a Jewish person on the bridge while I was on my morning run. Never had a Muslim knock on my door and shove pamphlets in my hand. I know that many Christians feel it's their duty to witness to nonbelievers or whatever, but dudes. Just stop. It's not like I've never heard of Christianity or Jesus. I have heard of both of those things, and I'm not on board with either. It's just so presumptuous and irritating. And then when you try and be polite about declining, suddenly YOU'RE the bad guy, and YOU'RE the freak. Blah.
*************************************** FORMER USERNAME:@runningisrad
Growing up, we were irregular attendees in the Methodist church. We would only go periodically and I always felt like an idiot when my mom would force me to go to Sunday School (after being absent for 4 months) and my team would get angry at me for not knowing the names of all of the disciples during Bible Trivia. But she also forced me to be confirmed in seventh grade and something about that time sparked faith in me that never went away. My DH was also an irregular attendee of church with his family growing up and he went the opposite direction. When we met, he affiliated as an agnostic and sometimes more an atheist. When it came time for us to have kids, my DH said that while he was comfortable with his beliefs (or non beliefs), he was always envious that other people took such comfort in their religion and that in some ways, he wished he had that, too. For that reason, he agreed to raise our children in the church. As per our upbringing, however, we were sporadic attendees when my kids were toddlers.
Fast forward to when my son was entering grade school and for our area, the best option was to send him to a Lutheran school. DH and I were uncomfortable with our son being surrounded, daily, by a religious affiliation that we weren't familiar with. Further, we liked that our son had a community. The kids he went to school with were the kids he sat next to in church and the kids he played sports with, etc. and we didn't want to be separate from that...it felt like if my son was going to worship, we should do it as a family. So DH and I decided to attend adult confirmation classes, with the intention of learning and deciding, later, if we wanted to join the church. I was clear with our pastor during our classes that I did not believe homosexuality to be a sin, that I did not believe events in the Bible were actual events (i.e. Moses and the flood) and that there were going to be a few things I would never change my position on. He said, that it was okay to question all of those things and still be members of the church. That as long as I was down with the Trinity, then my core, fundamental beliefs were aligned with the church and that was good enough. I could live with that. And DH and I know, that when the time comes, we will share with our children how our beliefs differ from that of the church. In the meantime, I see daily that they are developing a relationship with God and that makes me happy. I've always felt that it is to my kids' benefit to feel as loved as possible, even by family members that I can't stand, and it certainly benefits them to feel that God loves them always. We're at church virtually every Sunday and have been for years. While I am a Christian, I feel like, given my experiences and that of my DH, I can understand all of the points of view expressed on this board. I didn't "do" anything to come into my faith. It happened when I was exposed to it. For some people, it does not happen and it's certainly not a character flaw. Obviously, I love my DH and believe him to be a wonderful person, even though his faith is not the same as my own.
Re: GTKY: What religion do you affiliate with?
I actually posted in the introduction thread several weeks ago and participated in the weekend ticker change on Sunday with the intention of going from lurker to actively participating in discussions....and clearly I would make a terrible troll because there have been nothing but awesome and supportive responses from everyone. I love it!
Brooklyn 2010
Charlotte 2011
Henry 2014
Evelyn (3.24.10), Graham (5.30.13) & Miles (8.28.16)
eliza+gleave I hope you don't feel ostracized or belittled! We've had some mean-hearted people try to stir the pot around here, and have gotten cautious as a result. I, for one, am loving this thread. We're all so different, but we all share the common bond of wanting our children to be fulfilled.
Thurstobertay I think you totally nailed it with "it's a heart thing, not a brain thing." Not to say religion and education can't go hand-in-hand, but I think it's wise to recognize different types of intelligence.
That being said, my husband and I are really open and plan on exposing our kids to any religion they express interest in. My husband had zero exposure to religion growing up and, while he's atheist, he feels like he missed out on a part of culture if that makes sense. Even well known bible stories like Adam and Eve are foreign to him. I want our child to feel like they could pick what felt right, or nothing at all, without feeling like they were denied the chance to be informed.
DD2 4.2013 - vbac
DS1 9.2016 - vbac, team green
Baby #4 due 9.2018
And I would say if you were to label yourself (which I am not saying you should!), your beliefs would lean more toward agnostic. I used to consider myself agnostic, but as I've grown older I've become more of an atheist. I used to believe in an afterlife (reincarnation mostly), ghosts and spirits, etc. but I don't anymore.
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
My husband is Jewish - went to Hebrew school, bar mitzvahed, went on his Birthright trip to Israel (as well as 2 other trips), and his mother is a Cantor. He does not attend a synagogue, but still celebrates the holy days, pretty loosely. Our wedding was under a chuppah but by a Justice of the Peace and without any mention of God.
We are raising my son (and future baby) without religion, but will teach the stories of the holy days as we celebrate them (I think they're wonderful stories to teach morals and perseverance.. but strongly disbelieve that any of it ever occurred - I am an atheist).
We have faced a bit of contention with MIL wanting to have a Bris (circumcision ceremony) or say a prayer before my son's circumcision.. we didn't allow either. Or sending us Jewish kids' books, but we're making it through.
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
Did you do anything for Purim yesterday? I didn't realize it was yesterday, I think my husband will get ingredients for hamantaschen today (I guess we basically celebrate the holidays by eating the good food associated... matzo ball soup, latkes, etc)
I'm sad I can't partake in the wine for seder this year. You know, because of how important wine is to the seder
I'm surprised there are so many non-religious on here, actually! Maybe because I live in a pretty conservative area, but I'm used to being in the minority, and therefore required to keep my mouth shut.
I will admit I was a little hesitant to click on this post at first but this group really is amazing! Another atheist here, DH grew up Christian but is really non practicing. DHs family are all fairly religious so I am always the odd man out when we are visiting, but its never usually an issue so I hope that doesn't change now that a grandchild becomes involved. I'd love for my child to learn about all religions equally and make a decision about their own beliefs from there.
November Siggy Challenge: Selfie Fails
Hidden for the sake of your eyes!
I'm already dreading the looks and unsolisited responses we're going to get (especially from our in laws) when we tell them we're not having the chicken nugget baptised. Oh well. (Honestly, I kind of enjoy pissing them off a little bit.)
On last note, UUs do a RE class: a religious education class in which they learn about all the major world religions and even minor ones that are geographically close to the church (ie in America they might learn about the local native American's religions). At the end of the year, they develop a pretty specific statement of their own personal belief after having been exposed to different ideas. It's a big to do, similar to a congregation in Christian churches, and each child (about 15 years old) gets up and reads his or her statement of belief. Most of the kids say they're either athetis or humanist (God exists but isn't a big deal). Everyone claps and nods their head approvingly. I can't wait for our little guy or girl get up there and state his/her beliefs and the in laws have to smile and clap that their grandchild is, most likely, an atheist. Maybe I'll serve crow for brunch after!
uhhhhh you just answered your own question, yo.
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
Awkward Family Fun
DH was raised Methodist and went to church regularly growing up. Our experiences growing up in the Christian faith were somewhat different. He had a very positive experience and considers himself a devout Christian to this day. My experience was more mixed/conflicted.
I don't know what to label myself these days. DH and I were married in an Episcopal church and had planned to become more regular members but never did. Now I pretty much consider myself "spiritual", and although I still look to the teachings of Christ on occasion, I don't necessarily consider myself Christian. I would like to attend the Universalist church here, but DH would not be on board with it. The main issue I have had and still have with the Chriatian faith is the patriarchal, male-dominated aspects. Women were not allowed to teach in my church growing up and taught to submit. The sexism was so understated however that it took me many years to become truly aware of it, and with one daughter and another on the way, it concerns me. This is a discussion that I haven't even had with my husband. It's so sensitive and I feel like his faith has evolved over time, but he is reluctant to admit it. We would still like to find a congregation we fit into, but that's difficult to do being as liberal minded as we are in a bible belted conservative state.
Clomid 150mg 2 follicles, BFP 7/4/15, EDD 3/12/16, CP 7/7/15
Clomid 150mg, 2 follicles, IUI BFN
Natural Cycle, BFP 12/28/15, EDD 9/3/16
Together since 2006
Married 01.17.15
Now it's holiday season again, with Purim having just passed on Thursday and Passover coming up next month. One thing that's different about being pregnant on Passover is that when constipation is such an issue in the first place all that matzah makes it much worse! Thank goodness for miralax!
I am also very impressed how this conversation is so civil and mature even though so many people seem to have such differing views and opinions. I'm looking forward to getting to know this group better!
As I transitioned to being an adult, friends would invite me periodically, and while I passed, I understood that it was their way of reaching out a hand of kindness, wanting to share with me the uplifting love that they felt within their faith. It's like when someone says "I'll pray for you"; I could never understand why people who aren't religious get annoyed or angry at that. That person is essentially saying that this is the highest power they call on for help and they want to extend kindness, love and support on your behalf; it's not an act of "hey athiest, you won't pray for yourself so I guess I'll do it for you", it's an act of love and kindness.
I can understand that now being of the faith, but because of my previous experiences and feelings about being invited to church I don't ask friends if they would like to join, because maybe they have a personal journey they're going on that influences their attitude toward my invitation, and that's they're journey and I will respect that. Or maybe they just don't have that belief and that's ok too.
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Growing up, we were irregular attendees in the Methodist church. We would only go periodically and I always felt like an idiot when my mom would force me to go to Sunday School (after being absent for 4 months) and my team would get angry at me for not knowing the names of all of the disciples during Bible Trivia. But she also forced me to be confirmed in seventh grade and something about that time sparked faith in me that never went away. My DH was also an irregular attendee of church with his family growing up and he went the opposite direction. When we met, he affiliated as an agnostic and sometimes more an atheist. When it came time for us to have kids, my DH said that while he was comfortable with his beliefs (or non beliefs), he was always envious that other people took such comfort in their religion and that in some ways, he wished he had that, too. For that reason, he agreed to raise our children in the church. As per our upbringing, however, we were sporadic attendees when my kids were toddlers.
Fast forward to when my son was entering grade school and for our area, the best option was to send him to a Lutheran school. DH and I were uncomfortable with our son being surrounded, daily, by a religious affiliation that we weren't familiar with. Further, we liked that our son had a community. The kids he went to school with were the kids he sat next to in church and the kids he played sports with, etc. and we didn't want to be separate from that...it felt like if my son was going to worship, we should do it as a family. So DH and I decided to attend adult confirmation classes, with the intention of learning and deciding, later, if we wanted to join the church. I was clear with our pastor during our classes that I did not believe homosexuality to be a sin, that I did not believe events in the Bible were actual events (i.e. Moses and the flood) and that there were going to be a few things I would never change my position on. He said, that it was okay to question all of those things and still be members of the church. That as long as I was down with the Trinity, then my core, fundamental beliefs were aligned with the church and that was good enough. I could live with that. And DH and I know, that when the time comes, we will share with our children how our beliefs differ from that of the church. In the meantime, I see daily that they are developing a relationship with God and that makes me happy. I've always felt that it is to my kids' benefit to feel as loved as possible, even by family members that I can't stand, and it certainly benefits them to feel that God loves them always. We're at church virtually every Sunday and have been for years. While I am a Christian, I feel like, given my experiences and that of my DH, I can understand all of the points of view expressed on this board. I didn't "do" anything to come into my faith. It happened when I was exposed to it. For some people, it does not happen and it's certainly not a character flaw. Obviously, I love my DH and believe him to be a wonderful person, even though his faith is not the same as my own.