That's funny @lovelylauren86- even with my son being 15 months old, I love him to pieces and at this stage want him around all the time, but also enjoy fostering his independence and vow to myself not to refer to him and I as best friends exactly because of this. I want my son and I to stand behind each other at different times, but remain beside each other as much as possible in life. My MIL still completely leans on my husband and it is just way too much.
That's funny @lovelylauren86- even with my son being 15 months old, I love him to pieces and at this stage want him around all the time, but also enjoy fostering his independence and vow to myself not to refer to him and I as best friends exactly because of this. I want my son and I to stand behind each other at different times, but remain beside each other as much as possible in life. My MIL still completely leans on my husband and it is just way too much.
I mean I fully hope he finds a loving wife of his own when he grows up! But I hope she likes me and will allow me to be apart of their lives also.
That's funny @lovelylauren86- even with my son being 15 months old, I love him to pieces and at this stage want him around all the time, but also enjoy fostering his independence and vow to myself not to refer to him and I as best friends exactly because of this. I want my son and I to stand behind each other at different times, but remain beside each other as much as possible in life. My MIL still completely leans on my husband and it is just way too much.
I mean I fully hope he finds a loving wife of his own when he grows up! But I hope she likes me and will allow me to be apart of their lives also.
Oh yes yes, I am right there with you. I just detest my MIL to the point of already being conscious of the future relationship I am hoping to have with both him and his future life partner. Which is kind of heartbreaking, because my MIL probably dreamed of the same thing, she always wanted a daughter and on our wedding day actually told her exhusband "We finally have our daughter!" Yikes.
Omg ilu gals. DH is estranged from his mother, but allows her an annual one time obligatory visit. I can't stand her either. Quick example, to her other poor then-college attending son, she said: "You don't have one? Oh why don't you just buy an iPad?" He had been struggling to pay himself through college, as she enjoyed a newer SUV, two laptops, etcetera etcetera (not like she has money either). He had asked for financial assistance at one point, to which she said she could not help. The fuhhh?
The only plus? She's bringing homemade ethnic food (the one thing she is good for). That, and her stay is during a handful of weekdays, during which of course, I'll be at work!
(Omg @spacedolphin11 ... @Caroline7703 omfg her son's birthday ... @jensou oh man you should watch Fresh Off the Boat ) I'm so baffled/flabbergasted...where the heck do these women come from? Will we be them???!!!
Omg ilu gals. DH is estranged from his mother, but allows her an annual one time obligatory visit. I can't stand her either. Quick example, to her other poor then-college attending son, she said: "You don't have one? Oh why don't you just buy an iPad?" He had been struggling to pay himself through college, as she enjoyed a newer SUV, two laptops, etcetera etcetera (not like she has money either). He had asked for financial assistance at one point, to which she said she could not help. The fuhhh?
The only plus? She's bringing homemade ethnic food (the one thing she is good for). That, and her stay is during a handful of weekdays, during which of course, I'll be at work!
(Omg @spacedolphin11 ... @Caroline7703 omfg her son's birthday ... @jensou oh man you should watch Fresh Off the Boat ) I'm so baffled/flabbergasted...where the heck do these women come from? Will we be them???!!!
Oh hell no! Somebody please tell me to get myself together if I ever refer to a grandchild as MY child. Or if I ever try to interfere in my child's marriage. If I ever tell my child that they made a mistake by marring their spouse, please slap me. Repeatedly.
So I know this is the mother/MIL vent thread but I need to vent about my SIL. She and BIL were married last year both my husband and I had major concerns regarding her maturity level and lack of motivation to do anything but find a husband who would support her. Fast forward a year later and no suprise to us but she just sits home all day long. She has stopped working and refuses to cook or clean even though BIL works 12 hour days to support both of them. Not only that but she is constantly nasty to BIL and MIL. However her Facebook feed always states how great things are and if in the off chance she does cook she has to post photos on Facebook and Instagram with #stayathomewifewinning. It make me so pissed. What set me off today is she shared our gender/names announcement today stating how excited she is to be an aunt and can't wait to be a part of her new Nephew and niece' s life even though she currently does not take any time out of her busy day to do anything for our 2 year old. It irrates me that she try's to pass herself off as someone who does so much for everyone when in reality she is just lazy.
@Trgree1712 Oh I know how you feel! One of my sisters has been heinous and self absorbed- she was nasty to me when I told her about the pregnancy- and by the end of the same night she was insisting that she come to an ultrasound. Yea, I don't think so. Since then all I hear from her is when she sends snapchats of either hew new car of her and her boyfriend. And I guarantee you when the baby comes she will be thinking she gets time with him or her- again, I don't think so, at least not alone. She tries to play it off like she's a great sister and person but she's really a self-absorbed heinous mean girl.
Trying to set a date for the out of town baby shower was hard. Mainly due to who? MIL. She refuses to budge on her weekend plans so we literally only have one weekend in July that works for her. Everything in June and the first half of August is out. So fine, I agree to that weekend even though it's farther out than I wanted to travel.
Well, guess who emails me today saying she will be out of town for the shower and wondering if we can change the date and asking why we were being inflexible...MY SIL. Apparently MIL didn't tell her WHY I had to choose that date, aka why SHE didn't give us any other options!! I was livid and thankfully DH emailed SIL back and CC'ed MIL for her to see that we made it clear it wasn't us being inflexible. It was her!! How convenient for her to omit that information when talking to her daughter.
MIL update. My MIL lives three hours away. My husband first told me that his mother wanted to help throw the showers (even though my friend already had it under control, but help is always appreciated), but it would need to be moved to somewhere in between us, so 1.5 hours from our house. I said no, my friend had already put in time and effort in pricing and finding places with availability and I wasn't going to move it on her whim. Then MIL started complain that none of her family would end up coming (first, my huband doesn't even know who half the people are, and at my briadal shower they all showed up ate and drank and didn't give gifts, so who cares).
Anywho, I told my husband that if my MIL wanted to host a second shower, that was fine. So we saw her last weekend and she announced that she booked a date in June. Without asking me for any availbility. Had she asked me, she would have found that I would be in California on that date for a conference, so I would have to RSVP no (remember, this is the same woman who threw a Family Reunion on her son's birthday and didn't envite him). She acted all put out because she had already put down a deposit, but I said that she had never even asked me for dates; had she done so, I would have told her I would be out of town three out of the four weekends in June.
@Caroline7703 that is ridiculous!!! UGH! I have to plan my shower around my MIL because it has to be in the air conditioning or she can't go. She has trouble breathing because of a zillion years as a heavy smoker. I would have loved to have it in the park somewhere outside, or a local place with an outdoor space. Oh well. At least she's not trying to throw it for me. I'm glad you stood your ground! Let her pout lol!
My MIL failed to mention that our niece was on antibiotics for strep when we went to visit them at her place- and this kid always climbs all over me and snuggles me. Now DH is sick and MIL is sick. I somehow escaped it, but still- why the hell would she not warn me about that?? UGH!
MIL called tonight. Antivax issue was not mentioned initially... just wait. However she wanted to know when she should arrange to stay with us when the baby's born... we've had this conversation before. And I felt kind of bad because we invited DH's sister who I adore to come stay with us at the end of October, and we haven't seen her since our wedding (we talk on the phone and FB a lot though). DH really wanted her to come and so did she, she's his favourite sister too.
DH had to explain to MIL that we didn't have the room and with my mom just down the road we didn't need the extra help. Well SIL must have talked to her and mentioned her visit so she was super offended that we didn't want her to come, which I understand. DH said that she was welcome to come down for the birth but we really didn't want anyone staying at the house so soon after baby gets here (she has friends in town she stays with occasionally). Or if she couldn't make it down we could come up to her place (she lives 3 hours away) for a week to visit. She hummed and hahhed for like 15 minutes and decided she would stay with a friend.
Crisis averted... until this gem, "My neighbours daughter just had the chicken pox, and she gave me a blanket her daughter was using that I'll give to you"... um what? Which is what DH said. She says "Well it'll be better for the baby to get it naturally than anything else".. no, no it won't, and not as a baby you lunatic. So she asked to talk to me because "she's a nurse, she knows!" To which I told her I absolutely did not want it, and the reasons why. And told her that if that blanket comes within a 50 yard radius of our home we would not be happy. Actually, I wanted to tell her I'd burn it with a flame thrower and she wouldn't be welcome around our children at any point but I held back. She got snippy so I handed the phone back to DH where he agreed with what I said and told her to throw it away or give it back to the parents, and that if it was still in her house when we came to visit it would burn it in the backyard. She hung up.
It makes me feel a bit better to know that a lot of us have horrible MIL, but it is still really frustrating and upsets me. My DH family is Lebanese and his mother is the quintessential middle eastern MIL...overbearing, opinionated, and obsessive about my husband and his siblings. It is becoming increasingly obvious that I will have many issues with her once the baby arrives. We did a sex reveal yesterday for our parents and I decided to make cupcakes that were pink in the center. My MIL offered to have us and my mom and dad over for the reveal. Nice gesture in theory. My family is 100% British (like born and raised, accents and all). Our culture is very different from that of my husband. We are quiet, reserved, generally don't like to step on people's toes, etc... My MIL launches into a heated discussion about how I HAVE to take her shopping for baby clothes all the time and I HAVE to make sure I fatten the baby up once she is born. She proceeded to repeat these comments about 15 times...along with what type of bassinet she will have for when the baby comes to her house...I'm sorry, what? The final straw was right before we left- she said, 'well who will feed the baby first?' I said, 'Uh well obviously me since I am breastfeeding and I'm her mother...' and she said, 'but I mean who will feed her mashed potatoes first, me or Karen (my mom)?' I just stared at her...she's so competitive and a one-upper. My mom is shy and completely passive but she told me this morning that she couldn't sleep last night and my MIL really hurt her feelings. This breaks my heart bc my mom is the sweetest lady in the world. I can't stop thinking about how difficult things will be with her after baby is born.
My MIL does so much for us and since my mother passed away I really don't know what I'd do with out her. But often times I don't agree with her way of thinking. Today our son had his first official hair cut at the salon, where my husband and I go. I switched my husband to the same stylist as me when I couldn't take the horrible hair cuts he was getting from the lady he had always gone to. First my MIL wanted her stylist to do his hair cut because she gave all of her kids their first hair cuts. When I didn't agree she said, well I hope your lady doesn't charge you anything, you spend enough money there. Why should she not charge me? It's her time and her job and a kids hair cut could possibly be more difficult then an adults, with them not sitting still. Anyways, he looks so grown up now and sat perfectly
Re: the MIL/Mother thread
The only plus? She's bringing homemade ethnic food (the one thing she is good for). That, and her stay is during a handful of weekdays, during which of course, I'll be at work!
(Omg @spacedolphin11 ... @Caroline7703 omfg her son's birthday ... @jensou oh man you should watch Fresh Off the Boat )
I'm so baffled/flabbergasted...where the heck do these women come from? Will we be them???!!!
What set me off today is she shared our gender/names announcement today stating how excited she is to be an aunt and can't wait to be a part of her new Nephew and niece' s life even though she currently does not take any time out of her busy day to do anything for our 2 year old.
It irrates me that she try's to pass herself off as someone who does so much for everyone when in reality she is just lazy.
Trying to set a date for the out of town baby shower was hard. Mainly due to who? MIL. She refuses to budge on her weekend plans so we literally only have one weekend in July that works for her. Everything in June and the first half of August is out. So fine, I agree to that weekend even though it's farther out than I wanted to travel.
Well, guess who emails me today saying she will be out of town for the shower and wondering if we can change the date and asking why we were being inflexible...MY SIL. Apparently MIL didn't tell her WHY I had to choose that date, aka why SHE didn't give us any other options!! I was livid and thankfully DH emailed SIL back and CC'ed MIL for her to see that we made it clear it wasn't us being inflexible. It was her!! How convenient for her to omit that information when talking to her daughter.
Anywho, I told my husband that if my MIL wanted to host a second shower, that was fine. So we saw her last weekend and she announced that she booked a date in June. Without asking me for any availbility. Had she asked me, she would have found that I would be in California on that date for a conference, so I would have to RSVP no (remember, this is the same woman who threw a Family Reunion on her son's birthday and didn't envite him). She acted all put out because she had already put down a deposit, but I said that she had never even asked me for dates; had she done so, I would have told her I would be out of town three out of the four weekends in June.
She's currently pouting.
DH had to explain to MIL that we didn't have the room and with my mom just down the road we didn't need the extra help. Well SIL must have talked to her and mentioned her visit so she was super offended that we didn't want her to come, which I understand. DH said that she was welcome to come down for the birth but we really didn't want anyone staying at the house so soon after baby gets here (she has friends in town she stays with occasionally). Or if she couldn't make it down we could come up to her place (she lives 3 hours away) for a week to visit. She hummed and hahhed for like 15 minutes and decided she would stay with a friend.
Crisis averted... until this gem, "My neighbours daughter just had the chicken pox, and she gave me a blanket her daughter was using that I'll give to you"... um what? Which is what DH said. She says "Well it'll be better for the baby to get it naturally than anything else".. no, no it won't, and not as a baby you lunatic. So she asked to talk to me because "she's a nurse, she knows!" To which I told her I absolutely did not want it, and the reasons why. And told her that if that blanket comes within a 50 yard radius of our home we would not be happy. Actually, I wanted to tell her I'd burn it with a flame thrower and she wouldn't be welcome around our children at any point but I held back. She got snippy so I handed the phone back to DH where he agreed with what I said and told her to throw it away or give it back to the parents, and that if it was still in her house when we came to visit it would burn it in the backyard. She hung up.
We did a sex reveal yesterday for our parents and I decided to make cupcakes that were pink in the center. My MIL offered to have us and my mom and dad over for the reveal. Nice gesture in theory. My family is 100% British (like born and raised, accents and all). Our culture is very different from that of my husband. We are quiet, reserved, generally don't like to step on people's toes, etc... My MIL launches into a heated discussion about how I HAVE to take her shopping for baby clothes all the time and I HAVE to make sure I fatten the baby up once she is born. She proceeded to repeat these comments about 15 times...along with what type of bassinet she will have for when the baby comes to her house...I'm sorry, what?
The final straw was right before we left- she said, 'well who will feed the baby first?' I said, 'Uh well obviously me since I am breastfeeding and I'm her mother...' and she said, 'but I mean who will feed her mashed potatoes first, me or Karen (my mom)?' I just stared at her...she's so competitive and a one-upper. My mom is shy and completely passive but she told me this morning that she couldn't sleep last night and my MIL really hurt her feelings. This breaks my heart bc my mom is the sweetest lady in the world.
I can't stop thinking about how difficult things will be with her after baby is born.
BFP: 12/29/15 EDD: 9/15/16!! Please be our miracle baby!