History of 4 MC and 3 weeks out from an ectopic.. advice and/or personal experiences

Summerk1919

Hi everyone my name is Summer and I have been searching the internet for answers and I guess just other woman to speak to who may be going through the same thing. Well I have experienced 4 miscarriages, one of them ending in a D&C. My last one was n 2010 and held off for a long time to TTC. Finally when time came I tried for over a year and finally got pregnant in 2014. It was a tough pregnancy and I was considered high risk due to the unknown causes of my past MC. I was very fortunate to give birth to my daughter who is now 16 months, I was so elated that we decided early on we would love to try for more children. I am 30 years old and just want a big family so badly. Me and my husband tried for 8 months and then BAM positive pregnancy test Feb. The only reason I found out about the pregnancy was because my periods are every 21 days and on my 16th day I began having sharp right side pan with spotting. I knew something wasn't right. 3 days later I was in severe pain with heavy bleeding t that point I thought oh no it's a MC. well bleeding stopped and pain persisted. The ER took my HCG and sent me home with pain meds. I did the typicall HCG f/u labs and my level doubled . I told them how could this be ok with spotting and pain. Well I knew something was different about this pregnancy nothing like my previous miscarriges. well the 3rd HCG level was at a stand still and new ultrasound showed pregnancy in my right tube. I as devastated I mean I couldn't stop crying. I was told to go right to the hospital and surgery was going to be done in couple of hours. Doc asked me if I wanted him to save my tube even thought that will give me a 20% chance of another ectopic. I told him YES please try and save tube. When I woke up the doctor told me that the surgery went  well he was able to easily remove the oregnncy from right tube but that when he was in there he noticed that my left tube is in horrible shape and more than likely isn't working at all! I cried and cried. Now I'm am so worried I'm thinking to myself ... I have had 4 miscarriages now my left tube doesn't work and I have had a surgery on my right!!! The ectopic possibly caused by my c section or had a twisted ovary on right side with surgery. Everyone I know tells me well you have one child you should be happy. OMG what a horrible thing to sy to somebody .. I mean this coming from people with multiple kids and no problems with fertility. Me and my husband already discussed for us TTC is worth it. I am so scared that the next time if I can even get pregnant again it could be another ectopic and may have to loose my right tube and basaically be left with NO options. IVF is so very expensive no way possible for us to afford. I feel heartbroken and lost and sad that even now as I sit here I wish my period would come so I know its safe again to TTC. My HCG level is 0 already thank goodness. Does anyone have success stories of similar situation and advice om how to keep my sanity and know that things will be ok and not to give up.... anyone at all please feel free to reply.. I just really wish I had someone to talk to .. feel alone in this situation..... 

iceandsnowflakes29

TRIGGER warnings : 






I have 2 success stories to share. 



First is my own: I had an ectopic pregnancy 2 years ago and it resulted in the removal of my left fallopian tube. I got pregnant with my son 2 months later. 


The second success story is not my own but, I will share anyway because it is more similar to your situation. I know a girl who conceived her first child easily and then had trouble getting pregnant with her second. She had several failed IUIS and 2 failed IVFs. In between IVF cycles she got pregnant without assistance and it was ectopic. They saved her tube but was told it had alot of scar tissue. She had her good tube tested and was told it was partially blocked. She gave up TTC and months later got pregnant despite the scar tissue in one tube and the blockage in another. She went on to have a healthy baby. 


And not comforting, I know, but my doctor told me after my ectopic that if I didn't get pregnant IVF was always an option because all you need is eggs, sperm, and a uterus. 


With that said, I have another friend who had both of her tubes removed prior to her IVF cycle to prevent another ectopic. 


Anyway, I'm sorry for your losses. You might find more success stories on PGAL or the trimester boards. 

Summerk1919

Thanks so much for your stories.... It's awesome to know that I'm not going through this alone. It feels as if since none of my close friends or family members have been in this position they push it under the rug nd pretend it never happened. I find hope in the stories you've told me. In this situation I am trying to stay positive. Yes there is always a chance of ectopic 20% ... but also there is an 80% chance it will be ok....Thanks again for your comment.. It was very much appreciated

iceandsnowflakes29

I completely understand. When they removed my tube I was absolutely devastated and extremely freaked out about my fertility and I also sought out success stories. I hope you get another baby you can take home soon. ((Hugs)). 

ThePax89

No real advice. Just hugs. I also have a 16 month old and am sick of hearing "at least you have her!" 

I pray for your rainbow. 

fafa1111

I also had an ectopic in February that they were treating with methotrexate and then it ended up rupturing so they had to do emergency surgery to remove my left tube. I completely understand your devastation and fear. I was actually more hopeful when I heard that IVF is an option if I end up losing my right tube from another ectopic in the future. Some insurance companies cover a portion or almost all of it, so definitely look into that and it may provide some comfort to you. I didn't realize any insurance would cover it until a friend of mine who is going through it told me. I think IVF is becoming more and more necessary to women so insurance is covering it more today than they used to and it will probably get even better with time. If you ever want to talk about anything please feel free to DM me too. 

1inthehopper

So sorry you are going through this. I don't have any advice unfortunately- just found out about my ectopic Friday so I don't have any answers either. It's so much to process. Hang in there. 

Spartanrd4

I am sorry for your loss @Summerk1919...I have no advice for you relating to ectopic but we are all here for you. You are not alone!

Summerk1919

I haven't been able to get on here and see all of your responses. I am grateful that you guys are so supportive.So its been some time and in time I feel as if everyone wants to sweep the subject under the table. I have had bleeding directly after surgery and a normal period right on time now. This at least makes me happy because it seems like everything is healing the way it is suppose to. The obgyn who did th surgery was not my normal doc at this point I don't really have one. Whenn I went to see him for post op he is just so cold. I told him I felt like I was dealt a death sentence and will not be able to have kids anymore. He said well "not necessarily true" which to me didn't seem hopeful. I been wanting to talk about how I feel but really have no one they tell me they rather not bring it up to upset me which I understand but feel alone in the process. I have good days and bad. Anyways I been taking my fertility vitamins lots of folic acid and am just scared to start trying//// I really wish I knew of people who had this horrible thing hppen and short;y after get a POSITIVE safe pregnancy

BrightenMySky

@Summerk1919 sorry for your losses.  I think sometimes people don't bring it up because they think I am not thinking about it already, so if they remind me, I will be upset.  But I am thinking about my loss already, and it helps to talk about it.  I hear you on the good days and bad days.  

fiorip

I am so so sorry for what you've had to endure. I don't have a history of ectopic or a succes story but I thought I could also share what I've been through and tell you that you are not alone, this board has given me so much hope because I too have struggled to have a baby in my arms and it's helped me see I'm not alone and it's OK to cry, and not to blame myself or my body, to be kind to myself and not to give up.

My first miscarriage was a spontaneous abortion, I was about 6.2 weeks. I found out I was pregnant as I was losing the baby, I never got to see him/her. My second child I lost after being born early hours shy of 22 weeks. Just when you don't expect anything to go wrong, I was more than half way there, 2 more weeks and my baby would've been viable. Just yesterday I lost my son at 17 weeks, my water broke at 16.3 weeks, it was an adverse effect of a medication I was given to avoid a second premature labor, ironic much? What was supposed to prevent me from going into labor is exactly what caused me to go into labor, just writing it down is ridiculous to me, how insane is that, less than 1% of the time that happens and it happened to me on the first dose, just 5 hours after getting the injection. 

I hope you can find peace, and take time to heal which is what I'm trying, it's hard, really hard but I always think that things could be worse and hang on to hope. 

Someone telling you that you have a kid already and you should be grateful for that is the absolute most insensitive thing to say, people are so stupid it just blows my mind. I've been told that I should maybe just adopt, I've also been told that next time I'm pregnant "I should take care of myself" as if my losses have anything to do with me not taking care of myself. Last time I got that I thought, How am I not taking care of myself? I eat right most of the time, I've been taking prenatal vitamins for the last year and a half, I don't smoke ever, have never tried any kind of drug, drink occasionally and never have taken a single sip of alcohol with any of my pregnancies and the conclusion is, people are stupid and tell you mean shit like that.

Summerk1919

Thanks for sharing your story... I am so sorry for your losses they seem horrible and impossible to get through but you are so amazing to be able to get on here and help people like me(AMAZING). Your words hit home with me.... Like I said I have no one at all who understands what I'm going through. I didn't want to talk for awhile at all just cry.. same old questions what's wrong with ME why am I broken? I found a support group in town for woman with recurring MC and pregnancy loss... but just couldn't get the guts to go. I found this website and felt less alone in this whole thing. My bestfriend found out she was pregnant while we were trying and I was very happy for her...but when I had the ectopic I made the super stupid move of telling my family and being excited before the bad news. She actually is in the hospital as we speak having her baby boy 3 weeks early and I am so excited but also feel myself feeling lost. The thing I couldn't understand was the talking behind my back from my own sisters. When I had the emergency surgery they told each other that I was trying to have another baby because my friend was pregnant and/or because I seemed depressed and thought that would fix everything. HOW STUPID DOES THAT sound!!! couldn't be any further from the truth. I was getting depressed because 8 months in I just wasn't getting pregnant. Some people jump to conclusions and then have the most insensitive things to say. sometimes I want to gather them all up together and yell hahaha..........I'm a woman and a mommy and would love to have more children that is just something inside of me that will not change. And for people who have multiple children tell me that I should be happy with my one is ridiculous.

But back to you..... I can never imagine the pain you are in.. you are so inspirational to me..It is amazing that you can deliver the message to never give up.. I want to thank you for being a friend in a time where the ones that I have now cant be

fiorip

@Summerk1919 feel free to reach out to me whenever you want, I'm glad that I can at least make someone feel better about themselves, we are all in this together, and can help each other get through it. 

1inthehopper

I'm so sorry you feel alone. Please reach out to us whenever you need it.  I have reached out (in addition to my DH) to several close friends, immediate family, and our pastor.  Our pastor visiting us really comforted us.  Maybe you could go to the support group and just listen instead of participating if that would make you more comfortable initially?  It's just all so much to process, isn't it?! One friend told me "one minute, decision, day at a time" and I think that's really true.