I live out of state. Should I have a shower? — The Bump
Baby Showers

I live out of state. Should I have a shower?

So my husband and I are both Military and live about 29 hours(driving) from my family. His family is the other state over from mine(about an hour and a half) drive. My mom wants to throw us a shower and just have it one big event because our time will be limited. Is that tacky? This is my first child. Should I skip the stress that comes with party planning and traveling and just buy my own stuff? I feel with being military I have sacrificed a lot when it comes to big life time events. I didn't have a normal wedding, I'm away from family, I don't want them to miss that fun time to celebrate this event in my life. How did your out of state showers go? any helpful words?

Re: I live out of state. Should I have a shower?

  • What do you mean one big event ?
  • Do you mean invite both families ? Yes that is ok.
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  • One baby shower! My family consists of My mom/Step dad side, My dads/Step moms and then my Husbands family. I agreed with my mom that since time was limited we would have one large party.

  • I'd say it would depend on the number of people. If you're talking 100 people you may want to make the effort to travel to both states for 2 separate events (just so you can actually visit with all your guests). Otherwise, I don't see why you shouldn't have one big party. You might have quite a few people not willing to travel which would make the party not AS big.
    DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
  • PPs are right, and just to add on: you should definitely skip the stress of party planning by leaving that to your mom!
  • You shouldn't have any party planning stress because you shouldn't be throwing your own shower (since a shower is a gift-giving event for you).  

    It's really up to your hosts to decide how big the shower should be (since they're paying for it).  If your Mom would like to throw you a shower, she should either have it where she could host it (and that may be near where you live, so that makes things easy for you, if she is willing to travel to you and spend a visit planning and executing shower stuff) or reach out to your MIL to see if she might be interested in co-hosting a shower for you near where MIL lives.  You shouldn't be involved in the planning or negotiations.

    Good luck!
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