How are you doing? Check-in week of 3/14

BrightenMySky

@mandi135 glad you like your doctor, but sorry your numbers are still relatively high.  Mine are slow to fall as well (but my RE said the same about trying again).  And apparently for some people you don't have to get all the way to zero or maybe even double digits for your body's natural cycle to kick in.  

briannef90

I've been okay for the past couple of days. I have had some insomnia, and had a panic attack last night before bed, but I don't think they are related to my mc. Tomorrow will be 14 weeks since my miscarriage. I wonder if I will always count the weeks since, or how pregnant I would have been/how old my child would have been.
Sunday would have made me 22 weeks. Sigh.

But anyway

I grew up in Springfield Oregon (right next to Eugene) and currently live in Beaverton. I've been here for almost 5 years, which is super crazy. Time goes by fast!

Springfield has all of my family there which is nice, and it has great memories from my childhood. I love it in Beaverton because my husband and I have built a whole new life up here and have learned to grow without any influence from family. There's also always something to do and new places to go.

AL_TwinCities

@briannef90 I'm always thinking about how far along I'd be if I was still pregnant. It's so hard to have that in the back of your mind. Hugs to you!

BrightenMySky

@briannef90 I am always thinking of how far along I would have been, too.  I did tell my pregnancy app about the loss, so it doesn't say what week I am anymore, but I still think about it.  Especially for events--weddings, things with family, etc.--where I had been thinking about what to wear and how the travel would be because I'd be x weeks...those are particularly tough, and sometimes it's hard for me to even think about attending them now. 

Becid24

It's been a hellacious few days. A friends 17yr old daughter found out she's pregnant and is already 16wks. Another friend announced her pregnancy and while I'm happy for her the pain is just unreal. I have no support and I don't know what to do. My husband just doesn't understand the pain or care.

BrightenMySky

@Becid24 hugs.  We are here for you.

Spartanrd4

So I just had my first freak out cry in front everyone moment at work.  A few people know what happened to me and yet continue to talk about my friend/co worker's baby shower in front of me at lunch. The person whose baby shower it is isn't here today....she totally understands me and has been super supportive. 

Anyways someone put a sign up of my rival school for basketball today and I jokingly took it down. At lunch one girl just asked who took it down. I said I did it and everyone just proceeded to attack me and make me feel horrible that I took it down. So I was upset about that...then they brought up the shower and my coworker (who doesn't know) asked me if I was coming and I could just feel the tears well up in my eyes...I said I didn't know, I have a lot going on right now and got up from the table as I started to cry. Went to the bathroom and have been sobbing on/off ever since.

Is it too much to ask to have some compassion right now? I feel like no one understands me and everyone thinks I'm over it. Well I'm obviously not over it. And I'm embarrassed for crying in front of everyone and being upset. 

To top it off I got in a fight with my mom yesterday because she basically thinks I'm crazy for investigating this whole hypothyroid thing. She thinks I need to "get off the computer". Well guess what...the computer and this board is the only thing that is helping me right now.

I'm so sorry for the ramble but I'm really upset right now...it's so hard to keep it together every day.

mandi135

Sorry you're dealing with that, @Becid24 .  Take care of yourself

Spartanrd4

I'm sorry @Becid24 I feel the same way

redheeler

How is everyone doing? Generally feeling ok, I've definitely been better, definitely have my down days still.

Are you currently going through a loss or have you past the physical part now? Physical part is over, I was only 4 and a bit weeks so it didn't last long.

How are things going with your SO? Badly. I don't think he quite grasps the concept that I'm still going through this emotionally, I think he decided the day after that I should be ok. 

Are you getting the support you need from friends and family? None what so ever, everyone including DH seems to think that I should've been over it straight away. I really just need a supporting hug, but nobody seems to want to be there for me.

How are you doing emotionally and physically? 
Physically im fine, emotionally not so much. I'd be better if DH was on the same page, or if I thought he even cared at all to start with.

Any questions or anything we can help you with? None at the moment

Question of the week (GTKY): where did you grow up, and where are you living now? What do you love about both places?

grew up and live across the pond in Australia, still live in the town a grew up in. One of the best wine regions in the world, large mining and farming area also.

rkroupa

@Spartanrd4 - ugh, Iam so sorry you are going through that. I don't understand why people have so little compassion for stuff like this. I've had a freak out at work - it happens - we are human. Are you able to work from home? I've just been in like bitch mode - cause of the way I have been treated at work with my management. My all women leadership team hasn't reached out AT ALL to see if I am okay. I'm over it. So, I just act like a bitch and don't talk to any of them until they are the ones asking me questions. I'm so over the BS and the little dramas that they all create. 

I hope that it gets better for you. Maybe if someone you work with knows what happened - they can reach out to your coworkers and let them know so that they will be a little more mindful of what they say around you? 

I posted a thing on FB on Friday after work and got really positive responses. Most of my coworkers haven't reached out - but fuck em. I've done my part - they know - they have no excuses. 

I hope you are feeling better!!

Spartanrd4

I'm having a much better day @rkroupa ! Thank you....one of my co workers who doesn't know what happened reached out to me and checked on me which I appreciated. My other co-worker who was there that knows I ended up texting her and telling her how upset I was. She text me back that she was very sorry for not being more supportive and understanding and from now on will be much more mindful of what she says around me. The girl who started the whole thing with the basketball team has not said a word to me yet and I think I'm just going to ignore her until she does apologize. I don't need negative people like that who can obviously see they upset someone and says nothing. 

iceandsnowflakes29

Spartanrd4 said:no

So I just had my first freak out cry in front everyone moment at work.  A few people know what happened to me and yet continue to talk about my friend/co worker's baby shower in front of me at lunch. The person whose baby shower it is isn't here today....she totally understands me and has been super supportive. 

Anyways someone put a sign up of my rival school for basketball today and I jokingly took it down. At lunch one girl just asked who took it down. I said I did it and everyone just proceeded to attack me and make me feel horrible that I took it down. So I was upset about that...then they brought up the shower and my coworker (who doesn't know) asked me if I was coming and I could just feel the tears well up in my eyes...I said I didn't know, I have a lot going on right now and got up from the table as I started to cry. Went to the bathroom and have been sobbing on/off ever since.

Is it too much to ask to have some compassion right now? I feel like no one understands me and everyone thinks I'm over it. Well I'm obviously not over it. And I'm embarrassed for crying in front of everyone and being upset. 

To top it off I got in a fight with my mom yesterday because she basically thinks I'm crazy for investigating this whole hypothyroid thing. She thinks I need to "get off the computer". Well guess what...the computer and this board is the only thing that is helping me right now.

I'm so sorry for the ramble but I'm really upset right now...it's so hard to keep it together every day.

I'm so sorry. I feel like this right now too. I cried because our grocery store got new shopping carts with car seat holders. Wtf.