When to Send

thycapa

My H and his sister and mother do not talk. As I have stated before they are just terribly cold-hearted, abusive people so they were not invited to the shower my mother is throwing for me, especially because they have caused scenes in public ruining weddings, parties, holidays, etc. My H still tries to have a relationship with his extended family and asked my mom to invite them to the shower. Some of them never RSVPd, but 3 of them chipped in and bought a gift which they sent in the mail with a note basically saying congratulations. My shower isn't for another month, but with that message I guess they RSVPd in the gift receipt instead of calling my mom or cousins whose name were on the invite. Should I be presumptuous and send the thank you now or wait to send it together after the shower? I really do appreciate their generosity, but don't want to discount them if they are coming and just sent the gift ahead of time since they live a little far, but if they aren't coming I don't want them to think I'm unappreciative for the gift.

dragonfly321

I would just send it now. If they come, they come. If they don't, at least their card is out of the way. 
I say this as someone who found it very hard to stay on top of thank you cards and thinks it's better to do as the gifts come in rather than all at once. 

MissWaldorf

I would send a thank you now and if they come to the shower send another thankin them for coming. 

thycapa

Thanks ladies, sounds like a good idea! I'll get some thank you notes tomorrow and get them in the mail ASAP! I appreciate the advice.

dufferoo

Regardless of the rest of the details of the situation, I would always send someone a thank you as soon as I receive a gift, whether the are coming to a shower or not. That way they know you received the gift and appreciated it.