I am a mother to an amazing, happy, and HEALTHY almost 2yo that was born at 29 weeks. The first 9 months of his life were the best and worst of mine. I had terrible anxiety, guilt, and depression. He was in the NICU almost 2 months, returned to the PICU at 3 months for an infection, and then spent 5 months in feeding therapy. I felt like I had failed completely as a mom. It's a little easier to look back, now, and see that none of what happened was in my control, but I still have the lingering guilt. DH and I decided to start trying for #2, and I have to admit that the thought is always present in my mind that we might end up back in the NICU. I'm terrified of it. We were so lucky with DS, in the fact that it was (supposedly) my incompetent cervix that made him come early and he had no other health issues. I'm scared it will happen again and that I won't be able to deal. I can now see that I lived those first 3 months in a state of shock and detachment. I don't want to go through that again. Are there any moms who have had multiple preemies, as in multiple times in the NICU, that have advice? Or moms that had a preemie and #2 was full term? How do you handle the fear/anxiety?