Quitting my job advice (long)

southerngirlgetsfit

Since the working mamas board is super slow these days, I figured I’d try to get some advice here. I apologize in advance for the rambling.

A little back story on me. I have a degree in public relations with experience working in social media marketing, event planning etc. I ended up going back to school for nursing before I got pregnant but never finished (long story there, but I plan to go back after I have children and they’re all school aged.) Anyway, once school ended, I couldn’t find anything in my field, so I jumped into a receptionist job just to have SOMETHING. I planned to keep my feelers out for something in PR, then got pregnant shortly after. I should’ve kept looking but I have had a very tough pregnancy (morning sickness almost the whole time, GD, and other issues that make me high risk). I didn’t want to start a job and have to miss all kinds of work then have to ask for maternity leave on top of that. Anyway, the pay here SUCKS. My husband fortunately takes on all of the bills and my money is just extra, but I plan to pay for child care and necessities for the baby so it doesn’t all fall back on him. After daycare, I’ll have very little left over. I have made triple this pay in PR type jobs in the past, so I know they are out there. I also want to feel proud of myself again and accomplished, and I just don’t feel that here.

One of the biggest issues is the coworker I share an office with, but that would be a novel in itself. I know you all know how hard it is being hormonal, uncomfortable, in pain and just done, and her negativity and attitude toward me and everyone else leaves me so down every single day. My boss also “cannot believe I have so many doctor’s appointments, nobody else goes to the doctor that much when they are pregnant,”..etc. That alone has me about done. Every time I tell her about my next appointment she gets mad, rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

The moral of this whole story is, I want to quit my job. I planned to job search during my maternity leave, but here’s the other issue. We don’t get a traditional maternity leave here, you have to use sick time and vacation. Since I’ve only been here right at a year, I had about 2 weeks of that saved up. Now, I’m having to do NST’s every week and having to use a half day of vacation each time. This means I will have no paid time leave left once baby is here. I would still get a paycheck, but I’d have to pay it all back as I got it (don’t ask me why they just don’t pay you!)

I have about 6 weeks left till my due date but I’m most likely going to get induced. Here’s where I need advice. Do I just give my notice 2 weeks before my due date (my husband’s suggestion), or would you just stay till you have the baby and quit during “maternity leave”? Either way, I plan to do seriously job searching while on leave, and don’t want to come back here. I feel like it would be nicer of me to do it before so they could look for someone and not waste time waiting for me to come back. I feel like if I do that, though, she will make me work up until I’m practically crowning at my desk to let me start my leave. If I do choose to go that route and stay till maternity leave, what are the rules about when that starts?

What have others done? Told your boss “I’m working till X day” or had a doctor’s note or what? I’m just not sure I’ll last here till my due date!

kp90

Yikes, sorry but knowing what it's like having a crappy co-worker and boss that makes you feel guilty for taking care of your unborn child... my response (for those who know the reference) would be... BYE FELECIA! I probably would have given my notice already. It sounds like you and your DH aren't really dependent on your check. So if that's the case and you can make due for awhile without a job I would say turn in your notice the soonest you feel comfortable. I know exactly how it feels going to a job where you are made to feel guilty about apts and pretty much deal with all negativity when it comes to your pregnancy. That's not ok. This is YOUR time and you should be happy and enjoy it. With that being said you can also turn them into HR for the way they are treating you. Its discrimination. Trust me, I've been down that road. Girl, if you guys can afford it I would turn my notice in today. But that's my opinion and you have to do what's best for YOU, your LO and your family. Period.

mrstmoose

It sounds as if you guys are not completely dependent upon your income (since you'll be paying for childcare and necessities), you won't have to pay for childcare and hopefully the necessities you guys can budget for. I personally would find out when your OB wants to induce you (if that's the plan), and make your last day at work a few days before that. Sounds like it's an awful work environment and if you can find something in your field a few months after having LO, I would go that route.

laurenmdrn16

Personally, I said "I am working until X day" which is the Friday before I am due (about 5 days before my RCS date). However, I have maternity leave (we are allowed 8 weeks unpaid and FMLA for 12 weeks, but can use up all our sick time and PTO first so I will be paid for about 26 days and the rest is unpaid). I am shocked that your company doesn't have any sort of maternity leave, paid or unpaid. It is a super hassle to have to save up days, especially when you need them for appointments. Are you high risk? If so, I would talk with your OB about getting paper work to cover for your absences. With my last pregnancy, I actually was placed on short term disability and was paid up until the baby was born about 60% of my normal salary. After that, my maternity leave started, but I knew I wouldn't be going back to that job so I let my HR guy know. He actually let me get all the maternity leave benefits and use up my sick bank, but was able to look for a replacement.

Some people choose to start maternity leave right when the baby is born to have the most time with LO. However, if you are not planning on going back to work and can swing it financially, it might be better for you to just give your two weeks and start hard core job searching for something more in your preferred field. Your boss sounds like a peach (sarcastic smirk) and could make your life difficult, but if you are giving notice, she really can't do anything about that. Also, if you do feel like you are being discriminated against based on being pregnant (which it honestly sounds like may be happening), see if you can have a meeting with HR at your company. It is no joke when employers start messing with pregnant employees and I think that some of your boss's comments are not appropriate and bordering on discrimination.

Dasha420

Where I work, I don't get any type of maternity leave. No benefits whatsoever. I plan on leaving and staying home for a good three years - God willing. My guy has taken care of finances anyway with my income being just to spend. 

You don't seem to need to work right now anyway- I would quit. However, not before stopping by HR. Your boss is discriminating against you. She can't roll her eyes and comment on your appointments. I would definitely complain because there is no reason someone, especially an authority figure at your place of employment should act like that. 

michellabanana

Considering your high risk and  terribly unhappy I would definitely put my two weeks in.  You just don't need the extra stress.  And just check out mentally!  Once you know you have an end date you will feel so much better!

I would definitely say something to HR.  I am not even high risk, and I feel like I have so many appointments!  My sister says it's not as even enjoyable as it used to be cause they are always testing for something or checking something else out!   You don't need to made to feel guilty for taking care of yourself and baby!

seasalt123

Second what everyone else has said. put in your two weeks now, since you don't really need the income and mentally check out. 

I also second what has been said about reporting your boss to HR. Make a list of specific comments (as opposed to just generalized statements about her seeming irritated) and meet with an HR rep after you give your notice. There is a difference between a bad boss with poor people management skills and a boss who is acting in a discriminatory manner in the workplace. She needs to be told this is unacceptable for the sake of her future employees. 

I want to fly down to wherever you are and have words with this woman. It makes me seethe that she's abusing her position of power to belittle a pregnant employee.

dshannah

Thirding the give notice and talk to HR sentiment!

You also have the rare opportunity (because this is not your desired industry) to be completely honest when you do your exit interview. Burn those bridges! 

Heck, how sweet would it be to just up and quit (no two weeks' notice, even!) and tell HR it's because of the hostile working environment! And then your boss and coworker will have to deal with the consequences of their behavior...  If they're shaming you for using your earned PTO to take care of yourself and your child, they deserve whatever they get. Maybe that's just me being petty.

Lusitano8

I also think you need to tell HR that your boss is discriminating against you, if you are using your vacation/sick time towards your appointments she has no right to roll her eyes and treat you poorly. I'm not sure how well you can document this but there are lawyers who specialize in this you could reach out to if you really want to make the situation known. 

I would plan to give two-weeks before when your OB wants to induce, and if you don't go that route you'll just have an extra few weeks off. Even though you don't want to return to that office I don't think it's best to burn your bridges by just quitting while you're on leave. Personally I don't like giving people any single thing that would be unprofessional they could use against me.

amberraysofdawn

If you feel the need to quit, just use a super generic resignation letter giving your notice, with a firm last day in it.  Don't put any of your complaints in it - save that for HR (which I definitely recommend going to). This way you've gone through the proper channels without burning bridges (as a PP said).  I've had a truly horrible boss before, and the two weeks wait until my last day was one of the longest two weeks I've ever dealt with, but in the end that boss didn't have anything on hand that could reflect back on me, and sticking it out made me look a lot more professional in the eyes of my coworkers, which is very important in terms of future networking opportunities. 

ETA: apparently I have become the Queen of Run-Ons and Parentheses. I'm not even going to try to figure out how to rephrase that sentence for the umpteenth time, but will try to do better in future posts. :P 

kp90

OP; have you made a decision or have an update for us? @southerngirlgetsfit

RMLandy

@amberraysofdawn you have inspired me! I'm on the verge of getting a new job offer and if it (Lord willing) works out I was strongly considering quitting my current job on the spot and just taking 2 weeks off in between. You're totally right-on in your post - sticking it out is the right (and most professional) thing to do! 

amberraysofdawn

@rmlandy Glad to inspire you!! It's sooooo hard to keep working even a day more when you're working for a horrible boss. But I think it's even greater revenge to be the absolute best you can during those last two weeks or so.

The best part of that situation with my old boss? According to some of the coworkers from the job I was talking about in my post (I've remained good friends with most of them and am actually hoping to go back someday), my old boss was freaking out with the workload within a few weeks after I left. She occasionally had to pull people from other departments to cover it, and the person she eventually hired to replace me apparently had to be let go after a few months because she couldn't handle it, either. Aside from the fact that the job I had left that place for was the exact kind of job she had told me I would never be able to do, it was the best revenge ever. I lived off of that feeling for months. 

RMLandy

I'm also in a crappy boss situation and I can't WAIT for that feeling!! @amberraysofdawn

sillyfox

Honestly I would say give them two weeks notice. I have had jobs in the past say to leave after that day and pay out the two weeks plus any vacation I had, or they may make you work the two weeks but if you're planning on working that time either way that shouldn't be a problem. Either way, good luck! 

Sekhmet2386

From the April board. I just had this issue with my boss. Look up the local EEOC office. That is where you can make a complaint with the labor board. My HR was not willing to listen so I went higher and they were forced to. I am high risk also and my boss was always telling people and me that I was worthless and not pulling my weight which was not true and I had proof.

southerngirlgetsfit

Thanks so much everyone for your kind words! I was hoping to get some support and you all made me realize my feelings were warranted. I'm still undecided as to WHEN I will do it, but I will definitely give a two week's notice. I have never just up and quit a job (well, besides a retail job in college, before I knew better) without giving a notice, and I don't want to burn a bridge now. 

I have been feeling terrible the past few days and go in for my first non stress test today. I plan to talk to my doctor and let her know my plans. I feel like she will encourage me to take a break from the stress too, since I am financially able to. 

These people are super nosy and will ask me 400 questions once they realize I've put my notice in, so I'm going to have to decide how much info I feel like sharing. I'd love to stay generic but let's face it, I work in a very small office that's made up predominately of women. Keeping things quiet and private ain't happenin'. I don't want to use pregnancy as an excuse, because I believe in Karma and I don't want something to go a lot worse than it already has..But I do plan to tell my boss something along the lines of "With how frequently my appointments are becoming, I can't put in full time hours anymore. It's becoming too much, etc.." with my notice. I'm just afraid she tries to talk me out of it or get me to back pedal and stay longer than I'm wanting to. 

saladflambe

In your situation, I would give notice 2 weeks before you'd like to stop working - whether that's 2 weeks before your due date or 2 weeks before an induction date. Best not to burn bridges, and they'll appreciate that you gave actual notice.