Mothers say the darnedest things.

gatorMom2014

I told my mother I'm pregnant yesterday.  Today she says: "When you go to the doctor, have them give you a plan for what to eat.  You don't want to get as big as last time." 

Me: "they said I was within the healthy range last time (I gained 35 lbs).

mom: "They always say that."

WTF mom.

Anyone else have extra "helpful" mothers who like to give infuriating advice??

jillianpardo

wow....I'm so sorry. that is terrible. 

CaptainPhasma

I haven't told my mom yet, we're waiting until the 8 week appointment this Thursday. She always asks me how my diet/exercise plan is going when I see her, and when I drop hints about getting pregnant she just reminds me that I need to get in shape first "because it'll be much harder to lose the weight after the baby comes." Thanks mom. I know she'll be supportive of any problems I have with the pregnancy but her attitude makes me way less excited to share our happy news.

heatherperkins14

Ouch. I told my mom we were expecting almost as soon as we found out. She wanted to tell people but I said it was too early to share with everyone. I told her I had my ultrasound appointment and she basically told me that after the ultrasound I had to tell people. I knew if I didn't tell, she would. Smh

E=Mc3

Hi. 
The closest things I have to a mom are my step mom and my mother in law. My step mom is wrapped up in her biological son's first born coming in June. She flat out told me that no one over 35 had any business even trying to have a baby. She said this without knowing I'm pregnant. I want to wait to tell family till after my step brother's baby is born so I don't rob him of his moment. He was pissed when I had kids before him and he wasn't the one to give his mom grandkids first. I think with all the attention on the other pregnant woman in the family I should be able to pass any bump showing by then off as a few extra pounds...especially if I wear loose tops and dresses. Ugh! Wish life weren't so complicated sometimes.

My mother in law will he happy that I am having a baby, but upset that she won't be able to be there when the baby is born or for quite a while after. Drama llama stampede imminent.

AshleyGemini24

My mom continues to remind me that my ass and hips are gonna spread.

missmaehurt

My parents like to keep reminding me of all the things I need to do before the baby comes and that I have to introduce my dogs slowly. It's funny because they think my dogs are going to be too hyper for a baby, but they're old and sleep all day. So annoying. 

queen_frostine

My mum, knowing we were trying, was for a little while trying to connect any illness I felt to pregnancy, so now I have to be very careful about saying I feel sick or even tired around her, for fear that she'll ask whether I'm pregnant before I'm ready to tell.

She also always wants to clean my house, which is theoretically fine but not in that I either have to work, too, (usually on a Friday when I'm beat from working full time all week) and I can't lay down and relax while she works. Plus a lot of the problem with my house is that our living room is still full of boxes from when we moved in last May, and she can't organize that for us. Yes, I do know it needs to be taken care of before baby comes...

She also says things like "when you have a toddler crawling around, you can't just leave crumbs on the floor like that." So... when I have a toddler, I'll sweep. If I sweep now it'll just get messy again before then ;-)

jillianpardo

@e=mc3 It really sucks when you feel you have to walk around on egg shells with your family. I think the hormones are in full gear for me because your situation is upsetting me. why should you have to stifle your news and that stuff with having kids first.....your stepbrother has some nerve! 

emmaaa

My mom has always told me I need to exercise more and eat healthy. Now, she asks what i eat everyday because, "I don't want you to gain too much weight and have a hard time getting it off." Annoying.

My mom also told one of my aunt's I was pregnant even though I told her not to tell anyone and she didn't see anything wrong with it.

My mom also cried when she found out we don't plan to name the baby after her if it's a girl.

My MIL posted a crib on my FB when I was only 7 weeks along and some people saw.

My MIL also got mad because I didn't want to start picking stuff out yet because I am still early and want to wait until we find out the sex to do a lot of shopping.

rozANDbenSINCE2001

I'm sorry. Both my mom and my MIL are real treats so I feel your pain. They like to tell me redundant things or "correct" me if I'm not doing things according to the way they did them 30 years ago. After DD was born, MIL visited us at home. She asked why I didn't have a blanket on my newborn (who was swaddled). I gently reminded her that we're not supposed to leave babies with blankets. She encouraged me to go downstairs to eat while she watched my daughter. I come upstairs after and you guessed it: TWO blankets on top of my baby. I was livid. It's been pretty much the same kind of passive aggressive tug of war between since then...

MRSCORKER

We told our parents right away. I know my mom means well but everytime I express any type of excitement like "Oh, I can't wait to hold my little squishy and give it kisses", her response is always "You know, they're stinky and they poop a lot and cry all night". Like, I know there are things about having a baby that aren't all sunshine and rainbows but right now, I'm focusing on the sunshine and rainbows. 

ETA: My personal favorite Mom response when I express excitement: "Once they're here, you can't give them back!" 

rebeccuh

I'm sorry to those with less than supportive moms. That's terrible in general, and worse when you're pregnant. Hugs to you ladies. 

I have a MIL who makes me crazy, but she means well and just wants to help so I just try to suck it up and get over it. Although if she baby-talks my kid like she did to her other grandkid we will have words. "Ooooh, beebee,  is dat nummy?" Yeah, no, that will not be happening in my presence. 

jatwal128

Luckily my mother and MIL have both been surprisingly tame so far. Although knowing my MIL, that is bound to change. But my FIL has no filter or common decency, and now every time i see him, he will either exclaim "look, you're showing already" or eye my stomach area and ask if i'm showing yet...sir shut your mouth. The only thing i am showing is food and gas. Now stop commenting! 

Michi1382

In my experience with DD, who was the first grandchild on both sides of the family, there is something cosmic that happens to grandmothers when their grandchildren are born. Like, they go bat shit fucking crazy and never come back from it. DH and I call them "grandmothers gone wild" lol. Needless to say, my mother and MIL both fit well into this category. Bunch of crazies. 

dam0ne4

My mom isn't too bad, she is just a super health nut so she likes to make comments when people are eating things that she deems "unhealthy"

My MIL was very annoying about breastfeeding last time around so I'm looking forward to her comments again (NOT)  Also she has already started suggesting (terrible) names and gets mad when I don't like them.  She also talks about the way things were done years ago and complains that people aren't relaxed enough today.  I know she thinks I'm crazy about car seat safety.  OH WELL 

I hate the know it all advice from anyone.  I hope since this is our second baby, I won't be subjected to that too much.

JamieK1882

I can't think of any off the top of my head, but I'm sure I'll have some gems to contribute as we move along.

I think the thing bugging me the most right now is both of them telling me how busy I'll be with two, and hard it is (DD will be 23 months when LO arrives). And making comments about how sad it is that DD didn't get to be the baby longer than she did.

thepicklemonster

My mom makes me crazy and has the biggest mouth on earth so I haven't told her yet.  I expect her to be excited but maybe throw in an offensive weight comment along with guilt about the fact that I live across the country.  She will also be mad that other people know before her, but she really can't be trusted.  Can't wait lol 

annabenanna

I told my mom yesterday (she lives halfway around the world) and I was SO glad I did.  I wanted to wait to tell her till after my first doctor's appointment (which is later today), but I figured I'd need her support either way.  She was super happy, but also said:

1.)  I hope it's a girl
2.)  No wonder you weren't looking very pretty on that last instagram picture you posted!

anna.oskar

Let's see...  what have the latest in a long string of momisms...  She says awkward things a LOT.

*You're going hiking?  You know, too much exercise will make a skinny baby.

*You should sell your horse.  You can't ride it and the baby shouldn't.  That's how scarlet O'hara and Rhett Butler's daughter died"

*You can't hike once you're fat.  What if you try to step over a downed tree and get stuck halfway over?"

**MC mentioned below..TRIGGER**

*I bought you the "due in Oct." shirt! I know you didn't want it yet until you felt safe but it was on sale and if you will just relax you won't miscarry.

ChefWalker

I haven't told my mom or mother in law yet. My mom is actually quite mentally ill, which means that I know no matter what that I can't rely on her support. It makes me sad but I have to accept it. I'll tell my parents once I finish my first trimester. My in laws are very supportive, but we haven't told them yet either. My MIL can be a little bit overbearing, but she means well. We are likely not going to tell them at least until after the first ultrasound, but most likely also until the end of the first trimester.

So sorry for all of those dealing with family drama. I totally relate to a lot of these comments about weight and just general unhelpfulness. Sometimes I feel envious of friends that have parents that are super supportive and helpful, but that's just not me and that's not going to change. I look forward to giving my baby a different experience. 

gatorMom2014

emmaaa said:

My mom also cried when she found out we don't plan to name the baby after her if it's a girl.

LOL.  This may be my favorite one.  What?!

emmaaa

gatorMom2014 said:

emmaaa said:

My mom also cried when she found out we don't plan to name the baby after her if it's a girl.

LOL.  This may be my favorite one.  What?!

I know! I mentioned on a thread a couple of weeks ago but I'm still shocked. Why on earth would you just assume you would have a child named after you? And then to be legitimately upset because it's not is hilarious to me.

She did tell me this past weekend she was sorry and she understands, so there's that.

smmatt08

Whew, I feel fortunate that my mother is nothing but supportive and positive! (she has 5 kids and 2 grandkids already)

My MIL is a little BSC. She keeps telling me not to lift anything and that I need to rest. No thanks to either of those! I would be going to the gym and lifting weights if I wasn't nauseous and I'll rest when I darn please!

mothernorth

I am beginning  to suspect that my mom and step mother hate me for not gaining a bunch of weight. After DD, they told me I got lucky since I bounced right back. After DS, they made a point to tell me that I didn't "look well or healthy" because once again, I went right back to my pre-pregnant size. Now they're  saying "after your third there's  no going back". I have not been given any practical advice, but then again my step mother only has one biological child, and although my biological mother had 6 children (2 singles and 2 sets of twins), she never raised a single one of us. I'm  going on #3, actually care for my own children, so I don't  really think either of them have shit they can even say to me other than be jealous ol' bitties and bug me about weight. I kind of have them beat out on the parenting platform. It's  actually really depressing.

anna.oskar

emmaaa said:

gatorMom2014 said:

emmaaa said:

My mom also cried when she found out we don't plan to name the baby after her if it's a girl.

LOL.  This may be my favorite one.  What?!

I know! I mentioned on a thread a couple of weeks ago but I'm still shocked. Why on earth would you just assume you would have a child named after you? And then to be legitimately upset because it's not is hilarious to me.

She did tell me this past weekend she was sorry and she understands, so there's that.

My mother's not the only one?!>  Thank goodness!

Seriously though.  My mom was named after her grandmother, then named me after her, and expected me to continue it.  *gag*

mothernorth

anna.oskar said:

emmaaa said:

gatorMom2014 said:

emmaaa said:

My mom also cried when she found out we don't plan to name the baby after her if it's a girl.

LOL.  This may be my favorite one.  What?!

I know! I mentioned on a thread a couple of weeks ago but I'm still shocked. Why on earth would you just assume you would have a child named after you? And then to be legitimately upset because it's not is hilarious to me.

She did tell me this past weekend she was sorry and she understands, so there's that.

My mother's not the only one?!>  Thank goodness!

Seriously though.  My mom was named after her grandmother, then named me after her, and expected me to continue it.  *gag*

THIS. Kind of anyway. My mother gave me her middle name because her first name was after her aunt, my great aunt Anna and her middle name was unique to her. She expected me to do so with DD. And still pushes for this one if it's a girl. I look at passing down names as a symbol of respect and admiration. I do not see why I would be expected to pass down her name further when she didn't  even try to raise me or my siblings. If I were to pass down a name, it would be Emma after my great aunt who DID raise us. And I plan to if it's a girl.

anna.oskar

AllyTheKid said:

anna.oskar said:

emmaaa said:

gatorMom2014 said:

emmaaa said:

My mom also cried when she found out we don't plan to name the baby after her if it's a girl.

LOL.  This may be my favorite one.  What?!

I know! I mentioned on a thread a couple of weeks ago but I'm still shocked. Why on earth would you just assume you would have a child named after you? And then to be legitimately upset because it's not is hilarious to me.

She did tell me this past weekend she was sorry and she understands, so there's that.

My mother's not the only one?!>  Thank goodness!

Seriously though.  My mom was named after her grandmother, then named me after her, and expected me to continue it.  *gag*

THIS. Kind of anyway. My mother gave me her middle name because her first name was after her aunt, my great aunt Anna and her middle name was unique to her. She expected me to do so with DD. And still pushes for this one if it's a girl. I look at passing down names as a symbol of respect and admiration. I do not see why I would be expected to pass down her name further when she didn't  even try to raise me or my siblings. If I were to pass down a name, it would be Emma after my great aunt who DID raise us. And I plan to if it's a girl.

Exactly!  An Anna Christina, a Kristi Ann, an Anna Kristina, and she was hoping for a Kristina Ann...

Kaessi

My MIL...is slightly insane. I used to be her boss, and there are very strange dynamics there. Such as, she often likes to bring up all the times I used to write her up & still argue about why she disagrees with all the different scenarios. And it was over 6 years ago....

She keeps talking about "we" being pregnant. My husband advised her that "we" weren't pregnant, just me. She exclaimed, "Oh but we all are!" He shut her down quickly & she started crying & carrying on & then I get a long text about how he hurt her feelings and she wants to know if I feel the same way, and blah blah. That was on the day I was having the WORST cramps ever & my blood pressure was already up. Pity parties aren't cool.

Yesterday, she called & offered to make me maternity clothes. Let's just say we don't exactly have the same style...and then she proceeded to tell me that I didn't need to go out & waste money buying clothes. And that these girls who try to wear their regular clothes & form fitting clothes just look trashy & she really hopes that I'm not planning on doing that. Pregnancy can be "beautiful" she says, but some people ruin it by "trying to show everything off."

You guys...help.

jatwal128

@Kaessi oh my I am so sorry! That sounds a lot like my MIL on the regular, but she's surprisingly mellowed out as far as sticking her nose in our business since I've been pregnant. My FIL is now the annoying busybody. I honestly got to the point with her where i told my DH that if he didn't step in and run interference, then I wasn't going to be able to play nice too much longer. There are certain boundaries that are hard to cross with MIL and it makes life difficult   We've got a long way to go, I hope things mellow out for you!

And all of us with crazy parents and in-laws!

Kaessi

Thanks for the empathy @jatwal128! ☺️ I hope things get better for you too! Unfortunately when my DH has tried to step in, it has exaggerated the problem. There's sometimes just no winning!

A battle we have been fighting since we got married is that she just comes in our house whenever she wants. Whether we're there or not. She lives about 15 mins away & often finds excuses to drop in. And when I say come in, it's exactly that. Just opens the door & comes in with a "Knock, knock, it's just me!" I've been in the shower/bathroom & # of other awkward places when this has happened. We have a numbered keypad lock & she knows the code because on occasion we do need her to go over during the day & let the plumber etc in, or take care of our cat when we're out of town. I think she thinks that gives her the right to come over whenever she wants. Both DH & my FIL have approached this with her & it usually ends with her in a fit of tears & a childish text or note about how unappreciated she is...and then it resumes a few weeks later. I truly don't know the solution to this! 

lmno304

My mom has been great, which i expected... she's pretty much my best friend. My in laws are a whole different story. DH's mother is just awful and she always has been. In high school if he came home with bad grades she would get verbally abusive, seriously hurtful stuff. We told her pretty much right after we found out I'm pregnant but we were VERY aware of how she would react if she found out with everyone else. I was so clear, "This is not your news to share. It's still VERY early and we aren't ready to tell everyone." Fast forward 2 weeks, she's in the hospital passed out on morphine and extended family is coming in with those expectant looks on waiting for me to tell them. "You know we know, right?" 

Are you FUCKING kidding me. And now she's been texting me with ideas on how to announce the pregnancy. I've just been ignoring her because it offends me that she thinks she gets to be involved at all when it's not her pregnancy, and i think she's trying to get us to make a big deal out of it so that it's easier for people to pretend to be surprised. We aren't "big announcement" type of people anyway.

purelex

Kaessi said:

I truly don't know the solution to this! 

Say you want to get in the habit of being "more secure" with a new baby in the house and start changing the code once a month... you can still give it to her when you need her to go to the house but at least then her time knowing the current code is limited.

Or just deal with plumbers and such yourself and stop giving her the code altogether... that's probably the route I would take. I couldn't stand someone just waltzing in all the time, family or not!

Michi1382

Guys, these stories are making my day. 

Kaessi

@purelex I like that idea - thanks!

And yes, I would love to stop giving her the code altogether, but that's completely DH's doing! He doesn't *quite* get what a big deal it is, at least not as much as me. He's an only child & she dotes over him...he's just used to it. But after my recent full blown break down about it I think he's starting to finally get it! Haha

purelex

I might just change the code on him once or twice to get my point across  

Blonde1817

Wow, you guys are making me feel great about my mom and MIL!  My mom doesn't know yet, we're telling her in a few days.  I know she'll be super supportive, but I have zero confidence in her keeping it a secret for a few weeks.  I have kind of a scarring memory of when I made her swear she wouldn't tell anyone when I got my period, and I later overheard her telling her friend on the phone.  It's not meant maliciously, she's just super extroverted (complete opposite of me) and it does not occur to her to keep anything to herself. I also worry because she tends to be very anxious which really ratchets up my anxiety.  I know she means well, but most of the time I'm happy we live halfway across the country, we get along a lot better that way!

greenlia

Me: If you come for fall release weekend, you can meet a new grandchild!
Mother: ...but we don't know anyone with three children.

von1976

"I'm sorry you feel so horrible. I felt great when I was pregnant."

Well, good for you. 

"How about Jolene for a girl? Josephine sounds too Italian, which couldn't be farther from the truth for either of you."

Josephine is French, mom. 

BahamaRia

I told my mom almost as soon as we found out. Her reply?
"well, I'm not going to be phony and say congratulations"

"what do you mean?! That's what you're supposed to say!"

"but you know, when something good happens, people are all 'congratulations' in your face but they are really jealous you're moving forward... But I am happy for you."

wtf mom....wtf...

depineta

Hahaha @von1976 I'm not even telling my mom about this pregnancy until after 12 weeks. Last time she was like "I always felt great during pregnancy. And my  hair was shiny and my nails grew."  Not exactly what I wanted to hear after barfing!