Blended Families

Getting back together w/ex fiancé and find out I'm pregnant...needing advice

I am hoping I'm putting this in the correct category. My ex fiancé and I have been split up for about 6 months. We've tried to work it out off and on and had a lot work through. I briefly dated someone else and then my ex and I finally realized that we could work out our relationship and that we belong together. As we are in this process, I find out that I am 7 weeks pregnant with the other mans child. Now my ex is not sure if he will be able to love this child like his own and to really be there for me. I completely understand where he is coming from and he truly does want to make this work. 

I am embarrassed by the situation but we are really looking for advice on the situation. Has anyone been in this situation or one similar? Thanks in advance for your help! 

Re: Getting back together w/ex fiancé and find out I'm pregnant...needing advice

  • The two of you, if you are serious about making this work, need to go to couple's therapy and parenting classes ASAP. A situation like this likely isn't something the two of you can 'figure out' on your own without the help of a professional, especially not with your already rocky background in regards to your relationship. Please do this, you can ask for classes and options at your OB office, and they can point you in the right direction.

    Second, I do not know your situation with the child's biological father, but does he know you're pregnant with his baby? Does he want anything to do with the child? These things will likely add additional strain to your relationship, so be prepared for that and if you choose to attend counseling, that must be discussed.

    This is a very awkward situation and I'm sorry you're going through this, please utilize any service and option you can. This little baby doesn't deserve to be born into a hostile environment, so please do your best to ensure you and your Fiancée are as prepared as possible emotionally so that you can raise this baby in a loving and open environment.
  • I'd say the good news is, if you can all act like mature adults, this child could have many loving adults in their life- what a beautiful thing. But as pp said a counselor, skilled in co-parenting, is your best bet to make this work. In my experience a step-parent introduced at an early age- birth even! - is fantastic.
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