Need help! Nursing with a toddler

JanMommy2under2

So my almost 2 year old is super active, like non stop from the time he wakes up to the time he goes to sleep.  When I'm nursing he starts to get into everything and become really disobedient.  I know he wants me to play with him but obviously I can't.  The annoying thing is it's like he knows that I can't get up to put him in time out, so he just ignores me when I say no.  Any other moms have advice for how to deal??  How do you keep your toddler in check while nursing the baby?  

BarrettJ89

My 14 month old is the same way. I'm not nursing, but with an extremely colicky baby, he knows exactly when I cannot get to him to redirect him, entertain him, or generally be 100% focused on him. He also knows how to push my buttons when I'm on the brink of a breakdown myself! He's so stubborn, smart, mischievous, and sneaky! Unfortunately, I haven't found much that I can do other than try to keep lesser known toys nearby where I sit with the baby. That way, when she occupies me, I can give him something he doesn't get as often (it distracts him). Also, as bad as it sounds, I use the TV to my advantage... I will throw on one of his favorite shows. If nothing else, the fact that he calms down and gives me a chance to get the baby to calm down, helps me to relax for a few. 

BabyHope2013

I'm not BFing but I have a toddler who I've had similar issues with. I too try some of the same tactics as the PP. I try to grab a toy that he hasn't played with in a while and pull it over to me, we also play Melissa and Doug puzzles (there's a alphabet one that keeps him busy for s while), I sometimes let him play the iPad or watch tv when I am out of options. During an afternoon feeding I try to time it during his snack time so he can sit on the couch or I sit at the kitchen table with him while he eats. 

kmo8986

I have no advice just sympathy.  My 2 year old is the same way.  It hasn't been as big of an issue yet because he goes to daycare during the week, and hubby is home on the weekends, but next weekend hubby is going on a 4 day fishing trip and I fully expect the house to be torn to the ground when he gets home.

2winterbabies

JanMommy2under2 said:

So my almost 2 year old is super active, like non stop from the time he wakes up to the time he goes to sleep.  When I'm nursing he starts to get into everything and become really disobedient.  I know he wants me to play with him but obviously I can't.  The annoying thing is it's like he knows that I can't get up to put him in time out, so he just ignores me when I say no.  Any other moms have advice for how to deal??  How do you keep your toddler in check while nursing the baby?  

YES! This is my DS right here! It will get better. DD is almost 10 weeks and DS is now finally getting used to her being here. At first, whenever I would nurse DD and he would be so disobedient on purpose, whenever I tell him to do something he gives me a "no". I would tell him, "after I am finished feeding Olivia you are going into time out." The key is to always follow through with your disciplinary action otherwise he thinks you're never going to do it or have already forgotten about his misbehavior. My DH said when he was younger his father made him stand in the corner for however many minutes his age is... for example: DS is 3 years old, so you stand in the corner for 3 minutes. He HATES it, but he is slowly learning that if he doesn't do anything bad that he doesn't have to stand in the corner. Some parents will just put their LO down in a pack n play and discipline their child in some way then return to nursing. Of course, baby will most likely cry, but this is something you may have to get used to.

Also, try including DS with helping your LO. At first DS was stubborn but he quickly warmed up to the idea. I have started reading him books on being a "big brother" and just yesterday he watched a Doc McStuffins episode where the family had a new baby and both had to make an adjustment to the LO. It made DS understand a little bit more his role in the family. I make DS grab bottles, pacifers, blankets and other small items for DD. Now he feels like he isn't "excluded" from the group. Before I would just tell him "no" on everything. I felt so bad about it because I ended up not spending any time with him AT ALL. Now, DD is on a schedule, DS knows when it's his time (when DD is asleep) and he likes to help out now.

Give it time

camusoh2011

I have times when nursing my twins where I just have to unlatch and put them down to discipline. My almost 2 year old does the same thing, and he definitely knew I "couldn't" do anything about it... until the day I decided enough was enough and put the babies down to put him in time out. He does much better now. He still has moments, but not nearly as bad as before.

Hipshaker

I have a four year old. So, not exactly a toddler but never the less, it's trying. I'm not one for time out, I don't think it  does anyone any good to break latch have the baby scream, and put toddler in a corner. Then try to soothe a baby until the next let down. That sounds super stressful. Redirecting behavior is much more effective at two. Say no be firm and offer a more construction alternative. I used to keep a basket filled with novel(books, seashells,costume rings feathers, ect.) things and snacks. So when your stuck nursing you can look things together one by one and share a snack. Play some music so lo#1 can rock out and ham it up/ burn some energy. A few episodes of Elmo never hurt anyone either, lol. Getting #1 envolved is great. Ask #1 to fetch a lovey or whatever for baby, and praise the be-Jesus out of good behavior. Sing songs to baby together. My #1 is still cuddly nursing time can be a cuddle time for all. Some times I side lie nurse on the floor of the play room while number one plays independently. It's gated so #1 can't just wonder all around causing havoc. Put anything away that cases trouble too, all the balls are up now, lol. It will take time but you can condition #1 that nursing time is a bonding time for #1 too. It will get better!

katiedid0907

My 2.5 year old is into everything too.  I try to play games like "I spy" or sing songs to keep him occupied. If that fails we watch tv while I am tied down with the baby. I know it isn't really the best parenting but I figure if there is a time to use the tv this is it.