Lol, third tri hormones much? Some of you guys really are jumpy in this particular post! Not sure why you are letting one or two choice words "rub you the wrong way" to the point of totally bashing the OP. (Granted, I will agree that she was also a little oversensitive to the first few comments).
Yikes... Pretty bold to play the hormone card on here. Good luck with that.
FYI calling someone hormonal is warning worthy around here. The BGs equate it to "harrassment" ... Just saying.
Lol, third tri hormones much? Some of you guys really are jumpy in this particular post! Not sure why you are letting one or two choice words "rub you the wrong way" to the point of totally bashing the OP. (Granted, I will agree that she was also a little oversensitive to the first few comments).
Yikes... Pretty bold to play the hormone card on here. Good luck with that.
FYI calling someone hormonal is warning worthy around here. The BGs equate it to "harrassment" ... Just saying.
Is it really? That's so good to know because it's seriously one of my biggest pet peeves that the "hormone card" is thrown around so frequently here on TB. It's pretty degrading to suggest that we as women cannot control our emotions simply because we are pregnant.
Lol, third tri hormones much? Some of you guys really are jumpy in this particular post! Not sure why you are letting one or two choice words "rub you the wrong way" to the point of totally bashing the OP. (Granted, I will agree that she was also a little oversensitive to the first few comments).
Yikes... Pretty bold to play the hormone card on here. Good luck with that.
FYI calling someone hormonal is warning worthy around here. The BGs equate it to "harrassment" ... Just saying.
Is it really? That's so good to know because it's seriously one of my biggest pet peeves that the "hormone card" is thrown around so frequently here on TB. It's pretty degrading to suggest that we as women cannot control our emotions simply because we are pregnant.
Amen sister. I may be more emotional but I'm in control of my emotions and am able to make logical and rational decisions.
Geez, if you think these lovely ladies were attacking you, I dare you to put this on the shower board lol....you will get crucified. Not saying it is right, but nobody has been rude, just honest.
I would be kind of put off, if I was told " you have to buy me this". Like many others have said babies don't need much. I've been slowly picking things up, over the last couple months.
I think the baby stores have a good racket going on with "what you must have" . I admit they got me on a few things. (Some of us should get together and open up a new baby store )
If the people coming to your shower are anything like me, they'll get your gift a day or two before the shower... Lol. I'm such a procrastinator! I also had noticed for my wedding that people neglected to get stuff checked off the registry after they bought it... We got 3 of one item and none of the 3 different people had it checked at purchased. Fortunately they supplied gift receipts.
To respond to your post, I understand where you're coming from. MIL told me to expect only baby blankrts and maybe clothes- that no one would actually purchase off my registry. However, everyone did! I did get a few things that were not on the registry, but most of those people also bought a few things that were on it.
As hard as it can be, you just have to have faith that the people you're inviting have your best interests at heart - they're your friends/family/co workers/etc after all! - and will choose items that will help you.
A good bet is to have a wide assortment on your registry so people can find things they like and can afford at all price points.
Also, for what it's worth, no one bought off my registry until a week before the shower.
For those of you feeling anxious about what you may or may not get from your registry, let's make this simple: don't count on anything. You will be responsible for providing for your baby and some people may help or pleasantly surprise you. As other threads have suggested, babies actually need very few things; the rest is cuteness and convenience. Go ahead and make a registry, but think of it like a wish list, not a list of demands-- and take advantage of the completion discount if there are true necessities that you do not receive as gifts. Please, just be grateful for any help you get from friends and family.
I seem to always agree with you. This sums it up nicely.
Dear Lord, Please let this thread end. I seriously wish I could hide it from my feed but alas, it keeps popping up with bright yellow, new comment alerts.
I've been purposely trying to just sit back and lurk. I want to say a few things.
First, I sincerely want to apologize for my over reactions. I know my post came off wrong, my intentions were pretty muddy looking, and I got super defensive. I'm pretty hormonal (I said the "h" word, eep!) and I'm pretty sure I'm playing the "in denial" game about having pregnancy depression and anxiety. I seriously am sorry for my overreactions.
I've also sat here and probably ruminated more on what was said than is healthy, but I do understand where people are coming from. I understand it is typically considered poor form to host your own shower, and then branching from that, to ask that if people do give gifts, that it be specifically from the registry... I see how that looks and understand how it comes off. Again, I just didn't realize it. My worry was just people wasting their money on something that may never have tags ripped off. I saw it with my niece and her birthday parties, and I was appalled by the waste.
I apologize for my douche comment. It was out of line. I understand the intent behind the post was perspective, and I reacted poorly.
With those who have responded more gently, thank you very much for the gentleness. I appreciate that.
Anyway, that's all. I'm not here to be a troll. I'm sorry for it maybe appearing that way to some.
I've been purposely trying to just sit back and lurk. I want to say a few things.
First, I sincerely want to apologize for my over reactions. I know my post came off wrong, my intentions were pretty muddy looking, and I got super defensive. I'm pretty hormonal (I said the "h" word, eep!) and I'm pretty sure I'm playing the "in denial" game about having pregnancy depression and anxiety. I seriously am sorry for my overreactions.
I've also sat here and probably ruminated more on what was said than is healthy, but I do understand where people are coming from. I understand it is typically considered poor form to host your own shower, and then branching from that, to ask that if people do give gifts, that it be specifically from the registry... I see how that looks and understand how it comes off. Again, I just didn't realize it. My worry was just people wasting their money on something that may never have tags ripped off. I saw it with my niece and her birthday parties, and I was appalled by the waste.
I apologize for my douche comment. It was out of line. I understand the intent behind the post was perspective, and I reacted poorly.
With those who have responded more gently, thank you very much for the gentleness. I appreciate that.
Anyway, that's all. I'm not here to be a troll. I'm sorry for it maybe appearing that way to some.
Hey, we've all said things on here or IRL that we regret later or wish we would have said differently. Your follow-up here is really thoughtful. I'm sorry if my initial GIF hurt your feelings.
@CrystalBolte you've taken your flaming pretty well, honestly. A few unsolicited white knights have come in to keep things going, and that's not your fault. People get flamed on TB, and much respect is earned by taking it as well as you.
My shower was today, and honestly, things that were not in the registry were some of the most exciting to me because I wasn't expecting them! Some were handmade, and just fun unique gifts you wouldn't see at a Target, Babies R Us and Buy Buy Baby.
Also, I was stalking my registry out of curiousity, and there were a lot of things that must have been bought today or late yesterday, because I hadn't seen them marked. Sometimes people fail to have it scanned or the cashier doesn't scan things correctly, as well.
Try to have a positive attitude, and I'm sure your shower will be great. At the end of the day, it's about people showing love to you and your baby, so more than anything, I hope you feel the love on that day!
@lalala2004 I love homemade things. I'm glad you got some things like that, they can be some of the best! My aunt was talking about having a personalized quilt made for LO and I was blown away.
Yeah, stalking the registry is like watching water boil. You stare and start thinking, "Dude, it's never happening..." But you look away and suddenly POOF! Did that even make any sense...? There's a few neurons that are misfiring up in this skull of mine, I just don't even know anymore...
I remember at my bridal shower, one of the friends did the whole safety pin, can't say bride or whatever game. It was hilarious watching my normally reserved (yet spunky) friends tackling each other to get each other's pins. I'm kinda hoping it happens again haha.
@CrystalBolte Thanks taking the time to clarify your perspective, and for taking to heart some of the advice that you were given. I think some of us have just been very taken aback by the number of people who go into showers with an entitled or seemingly ungrateful attitude, hence the strong reaction. Anyway, hopefully we can move past it now, and kudos to you for accepting the flames with some grace.
Also, if you think you might be experiencing antepartum depression, I'd encourage you to talk to your doctor. It's definitely a real thing and not something to take lightly.
It makes me sad when there is no drama on the bump for too long, so thank you for this! I love a good back-and-forth over something that doesn't actually cause any real trouble
I also wanted to add that nothing depresses me more* than people spending their hard-earned money on gifts I don't want/need. I've had a pressure cooker that came with no receipt or indication of where it came from in my cupboard for seven months now because my aunt-in-law, who is not well-off at all, went off-registry for our wedding. I mean, what the hell do I do with a pressure cooker? I have no idea how to use it, and it takes up so much space!! I looked it up and it's worth like $100 new, so I don't want to chuck it... serious internal conflict here! We also got a cheap plastic wind chime from another aunt with a $4.99 KMart price tag still on it that I can't bring myself to get rid of because no matter how tacky/cheap it looks, somehow it feels more personal than cash gifts. But I hate having stuff around that I don't want!
So I definitely read this more as a "I really hope people don't spend money on things that will never be used" than "People better get me the things I want!" I also understand how to apply semantics to the situation at hand, and assume that her being "terrified" means more like "slightly concerned." Obviously we all care about the health of our babies more than our registry stuff, I don't understand why this is brought up so often when people are worried about petty things! But like, selectively petty, because I posted about how not getting pizza when I wanted it made me ugly-cry, and everyone was like, "totally legit!" But being worried about people wasting their money makes everyone say stuff like, "you're only allowed to be upset if your baby is at risk!"
I'm also sad I missed out on this conversation before people started getting tired of it Feel free to ignore it, just wanted to get in on the fun!
Man. @CrystalBolte. That is class girl! i think a lot of us have felt depression and anxiety in our pregnancy, especially over the things we didn't have much control over (and especially if you're a control freak planner like me). We are here for you! Everything's going to be okay!
Total hijack: What sort of pressure cooker is it? Pressure cookers are not as scary as they seem and can actually make amazing dinners. I love mine. ☺️
Man. @CrystalBolte. That is class girl! i think a lot of us have felt depression and anxiety in our pregnancy, especially over the things we didn't have much control over (and especially if you're a control freak planner like me). We are here for you! Everything's going to be okay!
I was talking to my mom about the shower and she was like, "Well... You are sort of a control freak..." I can neither confirm nor deny that there may have been a sulky "Am not" moment there.
Thank you. I really came here to have some primarily female pregnancy communal vibes. Pretty sure people I talk to are tired of me bragging that my baby is already a champion UFC fighter.
One of the best things I was told about showers and registries was once the invites are mailed out DO NOT go on and stalk your registry. My BFF told me that it ruins the fun and surprise when you open gifts at your shower. I'm also a control freak so it was hard not to do it but also worth it. So @CrystalBolte if you can help it try not to stalk yours these next few weeks and enjoy the surprises.
ME: 35 DH: 39
Married July 2011
DD Born 8/12
TTC #2 since 11/13
ME: Submucosal Fibroid Surgery Date APRIL 14th 2015 -Left Tube is blocked by Fibroid~Surgeon removed 26 Fibroids from my Ute and Unblocked my Tube
DH:Azoospermia...Thank God we have 12 vials of frozen swimmers
Total hijack: What sort of pressure cooker is it? Pressure cookers are not as scary as they seem and can actually make amazing dinners. I love mine. ☺️
@seasalt123 I don't even know!! It's shoved in the corner of the garage closet at the moment. I don't doubt that it can do great things, but I feel very confident that I'm not going to attempt to do anything with it... ever. I thought long and hard about whether or not I felt like figuring out how to use it, looked stuff up online, and was like, nope, not for me! In all honesty, I'd like to say I cook more than I do, but it's so rare that having giant appliances like that taking up space in my kitchen makes no sense. I need that space for all the dirty dishes I like to leave lying out all the time!
Lurker here, and I'm originally from the Middle East. For what it's worth people from there typically like giving gold to newborns, so who knows
Hey, if they wanna give gold, I'm totally not gonna be like, "Um, gold wasn't on the registry..."
I read an article about different traditions with pregnancy and I guess in China it's considered bad luck to buy anything for your baby. The woman's mom is supposed to get you EVERYTHING your baby will need. i love my mom. But no. Just no.
Lurker here, and I'm originally from the Middle East. For what it's worth people from there typically like giving gold to newborns, so who knows
Hey, if they wanna give gold, I'm totally not gonna be like, "Um, gold wasn't on the registry..."
I read an article about different traditions with pregnancy and I guess in China it's considered bad luck to buy anything for your baby. The woman's mom is supposed to get you EVERYTHING your baby will need. i love my mom. But no. Just no.
If it was up to my mom, she would end up in serious debt because she'd buy tons of EVERYTHING!!! Hubs and I took some four trips to do our registry (did anyone else's SO seem to magically get super sleepy and tired as soon as they walked in the door, and magically it disappears after they leave?), PLUS the last one I took with my mom. I was saying, "But what do I NEED?" And she would respond, "No, what do you WANT? Scan whatever you might want." I was more concerned about what I needed. I love my mom to pieces, but I'm with you... Just no.
Yup, I totally played the "hormone" card. It's an online board and we are all pregnant. There are DEFINITELY hormones flying. I was probably hormonal when I typed that out, haha.
I accidentally jabbed myself in the finger yesterday with a spiralizer and cried into the sink like a baby. It didn't even hurt that much...
@CrystalBolte. I'm a pretty frequent poster, but have been distracted by my own shower the last few days, so I just read this thread.
First off, so many creepy internet hugs to you. You're entitled to say something terrifies you because regardless of whatever is going on with anyone else, your feelings are valid.
Secondly, my husband and I hosted our own co-ed, open house shower this weekend, Miss Manners be damned. And I will confess, that I was melting down in the bedroom until the second our doorbell rang. I was convinced no one was coming!
Thirdly, I stalked my registry constantly and made myself nuttier by also stalking the registry of a friend who is having her shower this upcoming weekend.
In the end, people came, only a few items were purchased from the registry and there will be some returns. But it will be ok and I really enjoyed seeing people that I haven't had an opportunity to be with due to a rough pregnancy. So you be you and have faith that after the panic, things will be alright and hopefully you have a good registry discount.
Re: Convincing People To Stick To The Registry
Like what to get for lunch (kidding).
Seriously, I just spilled my smoothie on the floor and started crying liked someone ran over my dog.
As hard as it can be, you just have to have faith that the people you're inviting have your best interests at heart - they're your friends/family/co workers/etc after all! - and will choose items that will help you.
A good bet is to have a wide assortment on your registry so people can find things they like and can afford at all price points.
Also, for what it's worth, no one bought off my registry until a week before the shower.
I seem to always agree with you. This sums it up nicely.
First, I sincerely want to apologize for my over reactions. I know my post came off wrong, my intentions were pretty muddy looking, and I got super defensive. I'm pretty hormonal (I said the "h" word, eep!) and I'm pretty sure I'm playing the "in denial" game about having pregnancy depression and anxiety. I seriously am sorry for my overreactions.
I've also sat here and probably ruminated more on what was said than is healthy, but I do understand where people are coming from. I understand it is typically considered poor form to host your own shower, and then branching from that, to ask that if people do give gifts, that it be specifically from the registry... I see how that looks and understand how it comes off. Again, I just didn't realize it. My worry was just people wasting their money on something that may never have tags ripped off. I saw it with my niece and her birthday parties, and I was appalled by the waste.
I apologize for my douche comment. It was out of line. I understand the intent behind the post was perspective, and I reacted poorly.
With those who have responded more gently, thank you very much for the gentleness. I appreciate that.
Anyway, that's all. I'm not here to be a troll. I'm sorry for it maybe appearing that way to some.
DS: Born 5-17-16
My shower was today, and honestly, things that were not in the registry were some of the most exciting to me because I wasn't expecting them! Some were handmade, and just fun unique gifts you wouldn't see at a Target, Babies R Us and Buy Buy Baby.
Also, I was stalking my registry out of curiousity, and there were a lot of things that must have been bought today or late yesterday, because I hadn't seen them marked. Sometimes people fail to have it scanned or the cashier doesn't scan things correctly, as well.
Try to have a positive attitude, and I'm sure your shower will be great. At the end of the day, it's about people showing love to you and your baby, so more than anything, I hope you feel the love on that day!
Yeah, stalking the registry is like watching water boil. You stare and start thinking, "Dude, it's never happening..." But you look away and suddenly POOF! Did that even make any sense...? There's a few neurons that are misfiring up in this skull of mine, I just don't even know anymore...
I remember at my bridal shower, one of the friends did the whole safety pin, can't say bride or whatever game. It was hilarious watching my normally reserved (yet spunky) friends tackling each other to get each other's pins. I'm kinda hoping it happens again haha.
I am really glad you had a good shower!
Also, if you think you might be experiencing antepartum depression, I'd encourage you to talk to your doctor. It's definitely a real thing and not something to take lightly.
I also wanted to add that nothing depresses me more* than people spending their hard-earned money on gifts I don't want/need. I've had a pressure cooker that came with no receipt or indication of where it came from in my cupboard for seven months now because my aunt-in-law, who is not well-off at all, went off-registry for our wedding. I mean, what the hell do I do with a pressure cooker? I have no idea how to use it, and it takes up so much space!! I looked it up and it's worth like $100 new, so I don't want to chuck it... serious internal conflict here! We also got a cheap plastic wind chime from another aunt with a $4.99 KMart price tag still on it that I can't bring myself to get rid of because no matter how tacky/cheap it looks, somehow it feels more personal than cash gifts. But I hate having stuff around that I don't want!
So I definitely read this more as a "I really hope people don't spend money on things that will never be used" than "People better get me the things I want!" I also understand how to apply semantics to the situation at hand, and assume that her being "terrified" means more like "slightly concerned." Obviously we all care about the health of our babies more than our registry stuff, I don't understand why this is brought up so often when people are worried about petty things! But like, selectively petty, because I posted about how not getting pizza when I wanted it made me ugly-cry, and everyone was like, "totally legit!" But being worried about people wasting their money makes everyone say stuff like, "you're only allowed to be upset if your baby is at risk!"
I'm also sad I missed out on this conversation before people started getting tired of it
*Not a literal statement, don't worry
i think a lot of us have felt depression and anxiety in our pregnancy, especially over the things we didn't have much control over (and especially if you're a control freak planner like me). We are here for you! Everything's going to be okay!
Total hijack: What sort of pressure cooker is it? Pressure cookers are not as scary as they seem and can actually make amazing dinners. I love mine. ☺️
Thank you. I really came here to have some primarily female pregnancy communal vibes. Pretty sure people I talk to are tired of me bragging that my baby is already a champion UFC fighter.
ME: 35 DH: 39
Married July 2011
DD Born 8/12
TTC #2 since 11/13
ME: Submucosal Fibroid Surgery Date APRIL 14th 2015 -Left Tube is blocked by Fibroid~Surgeon removed 26 Fibroids from my Ute and Unblocked my Tube
DH:Azoospermia...Thank God we have 12 vials of frozen swimmers
July 15-Check to see if Ute is all healed
IUI #1 8/3/15...BFN
IUI #2 9/5/15...BFP on 9/17/15
Beta #1-344
Beta #2-809
Beta #3 8,390
1st u/s 8/8/15 1 bean HB 135 @ 6w5d
i love my mom. But no. Just no.
hormones flying. I was probably hormonal when I typed that out, haha.
I accidentally jabbed myself in the finger yesterday with a spiralizer and cried into the sink like a baby. It didn't even hurt that much...
First off, so many creepy internet hugs to you. You're entitled to say something terrifies you because regardless of whatever is going on with anyone else, your feelings are valid.
Secondly, my husband and I hosted our own co-ed, open house shower this weekend, Miss Manners be damned. And I will confess, that I was melting down in the bedroom until the second our doorbell rang. I was convinced no one was coming!
Thirdly, I stalked my registry constantly and made myself nuttier by also stalking the registry of a friend who is having her shower this upcoming weekend.
In the end, people came, only a few items were purchased from the registry and there will be some returns. But it will be ok and I really enjoyed seeing people that I haven't had an opportunity to be with due to a rough pregnancy. So you be you and have faith that after the panic, things will be alright and hopefully you have a good registry discount.
Cheers friend!