Attachment.

KristynLee15

So my brother and SIL came to visit from S.C. my brother has not yet met LO. Well wouldnt you know, she wil not let them hold her, she just screaaaammms. I feel so bad. And im also terrified because DH has been gone over a month and will be coming back to get us in 2 weeks to move. 
Apparently she doesnt like people she doesnt know. So im afraid shes going to freak around his family who she's never met and even be weird with DH. 
Anyone have any suggestions to make meeting all these new people easier on her...and on my ears...

midge519

Skype/FaceTime etc. my daughter was 6.5 weeks when we moved to CA from PA and she didn't see any of them in person until her first birthday. I'm positive if it wasn't for all the time we spent sky ping she wouldn't have gone near them. I prepared them all in advance telling them she was iffy around new people so they gave her time to make the first move. 

Funny moment from ghat though was when she saw my mom and the laptop side by side the next day. She looked at the computer then my mom and back for about 3 minutes. It was hilarious. 

danniellemichelle

My daughter does the exact same thing. Like she FREAKED out when my Husband's grandma (who hadn't seen her for 2.5 months) tried to hold her a couple weeks ago. 

-side note his grandma was holding her so weird and when my daughter started getting upset my husband made sure to stay near our baby so she could see him. His grandma walked away from my husband laughing saying "no no it makes it worse for them to see the parents" and then Violet just LOST it. I was able to calm her down and had her playing on the floor. His grandma decided to take it upon herself to grab her again and Violet FREAKED out. She cried harder than when she got her vaccines.- 

Long story short I was beyond angry and annoyed. So going forward from that pleasant visit I do not let anyone hold her right away or at all.

My parents, grandparents, DH's dad and wife have all visited since the time she had freaked out. I have had them play with her on the floor or talk to her while she's in her bouncer. It has worked so far. She will let them hold her after they have talked and played with her for a while ... If she shows any signs of being upset (she usually makes a big frown) I just take her or have my husband take her. I haven't had any issues with anyone being upset with not holding her right away.

Then again my husbands grandparents haven't visited since that incident. His grandparents and mother are pretty disrespectful and think they know everything so we will see how that goes. They just don't understand that they are complete strangers to her because they do not see her enough. (MIL hasn't seen Violet since she was like 8 weeks, she's now 20 weeks old.) 

Sorry for the vent and super long post lol  
Maybe see if it helps to have them play with her first so she can be more familiar with them?

KristynLee15

No worries about the venting thats why were all here! 
Evelyn is perfectly fine playing with them from a distance. If shes on the floor or in her bouncer or im holding her shell look over and laugh and smile and even reach for them, but the second they touch her, she loses it. 
Shes normally fine around my mom and dad, but when she fresked even they couldnt calm her. Im afraid because my mom is babysitting while i work tomorrow and i hope she doesnt freak out then. 
Im also hoping that she met them in the evening and thats usually her worst time, even for me.  So maybe tomorrow when shes had a whole night sleep shell be a little more tolerant.
On a side note i did do some research on stranger anxiety and apparently its a good sign shes in this phase, it means she has healthy mental development. 
I did share that information with them so theyd understand a little more. It just stinks, my little brother really just wants to be able to hold her and play with her. 

danniellemichelle

@KristynLee15 I'm glad it's a good sign!! I really hope everything goes well tomorrow!!   

Props to you for at least trying ... I'm too scared to even try leaving my baby with anyone but her dad because of her anxiety ... We haven't done anything just us two in like three months lol oh well  

amwright33

My daughter did the screaming thing with everyone. Even her grandparents who have been with her and watching her.
Her doctor said it's a phase that can last til they are 6 months to a year old. She said routine is key for this type of personality and to make them feel safe.  Have people come to your house to see them because it's a familiar setting. Let them warm up to people by keeping them at a distance and slowly have them more closer.
 I have been doing all that and it is working. She now will play with my brother and dad. MIL still approaches her and picks her up too fast and she screams and then won't hand her back so I can calm her down. DH talked to her about it.

Good luck. I'm going through this and bottle rejection. But she is 18 weeks and drank two oz. out of a sippy cup. Yay

KristynLee15

Well LO was sooo much better today! She played and let them hold her for short periods of time. Shed start to fuss so id take her back , calm her and eventually she started reaching for them . I feel so much better!!

danniellemichelle

@KristynLee15 oh yayyy so glad today went great !!