Cranky cranky toddler

lmtrmama

Hello!

I am at my wits end. I have a 6 year old and an 18 month old daughters. I am also still nursing my 17 month old, who is NAUGHTY. My six year old was talking at this age and my youngest just grunts or screams for everything. The second we get somewhere, she takes off running and doesn't look back. When I pick her up, she stiffens her entire body and kicks me while screaming. Last week we went to the store and I forced her to stay in the cart so she smashed her head against the cart several times and had bruises all over her face. I still nurse her, and this seemed to start to get worse when I tried to night wean. She nurses CONSTANTLY. Like 6-7 times a day and up every 1-2 hours at night. I feel like my boobs are just going to fall off. I keep wanting to wean but I just don't know what to do. My oldest was NEVER like this. I remember her having tantrums but for the most part she was great. Now, my 18 month old was a GREAT baby. She started sleeping mostly through the night, used to tag along with me everywhere with no issues.

Is anyone else experiencing this with their toddler? I have no idea how to wrangle this if she is still acting like this once the baby comes. Either the slight whimper of the baby will wake her up, or she will have the baby up all night with her nonsense! This afternoon she woke up screaming from her nap and I tried to comfort her, she just kicked and screamed and cried for over an hour. Eventually I just got up and went downstairs (our whole upstairs is baby proofed so she was safe). I just feel like maybe I'm just being pregnant and crabby? Or maybe just the fact that she is so different from my first I feel like something is wrong? I'm just praying I get through this day. Ugh.

texasmama2014

My 20 mo has been waking up crying this week, and more fussy than normal.. Pretty sure she's getting her 2 year molars.  Could it be teething? Molars are the worst...  We went through a phase a few months back where DD was nursing every few hours at night.  It was brutal, but I made it through, barely!

Every child is different, so developmentally its fine that she's in a different place than her sister.  Try not to stress yourself out by comparing, but if you have that "mother's intuition" that something is off, get her evaluated.  

lmtrmama

It might be the teeth. Im reading some articles now, and my mom just texted me and said I was worse. I didn't know that was possible! Lol! Well now I'm just hoping for a calm, sleepy infant then! I can dream! 

texasmama2014

Either way, good luck! This too shall pass, right? It has to!!!

tisunge602

I'm so sorry - that sounds super frustrating. My son is 27 months and I won't be much help because we weaned at 1 year and he is generally pretty good natured. Do you do baby signing? That helped me a ton when he was younger and wasn't talking, and it helped him tell me what he wanted instead of whining, etc. 

Also, this might seem obvious but when he is especially cranky I always ask myself if he could be hungry or tired. Sometimes a snack goes a long way. Distraction is also a great tool.

ETA: Does she have pretty consistent routines? Not just bedtime, but morning, naptime, etc. Sometimes my son gets frustrated when we do things in the wrong order or apart from his routine in general.

Good luck, mama. I know you're doing the best you can.

lmtrmama

@tisunge602 we are on such a schedule because our day revolves around taking my 6 y/o to school! How did weaning go for you? She will not sign. She actually won't do anything. For example, if we read a book and I say "where's the doggie?" She SCREAMS at the top of her lungs and throws the book on the floor. 

tisunge602

lmtrmama said:

@tisunge602 we are on such a schedule because our day revolves around taking my 6 y/o to school! How did weaning go for you? She will not sign. She actually won't do anything. For example, if we read a book and I say "where's the doggie?" She SCREAMS at the top of her lungs and throws the book on the floor. 

Well, this won't make you feel any better but weaning was easy. He was pretty much only nursing at bedtime from around 10 months on so we just switched him to a sippy cup of milk when he turned one and he gave us no trouble.

Is there a punishment or consequence that motivates her when she is disobeying you or screaming for apparently no reason? I wonder if you should talk to your pediatrician. That does seem excessive. 

lmtrmama

Luckily we have her appointment on Tuesday so I guess I will ask then. When she was 3 months, we thought she was failing her hearing test and then realized that she just didn't care AT ALL. I'm hoping she is just super stubborn and it's not something more
serious. I am just an exhausted mama today!

lotsofsunshine

This sounds exactly like my youngest brother. He is now 15 and an amazing kid. But when he was little we weren't sure how any of us were going to survive. First, we learned with him that he wasn't talking because he had older siblings that were doing it for him. Without his words, aggression was his only way of expressing himself. Once we backed off (which was hard), he was forced to find his own words and it got a lot easier.  Second, our whole family worked hard to make sure there was a routine in place. He did much better when he knew what was expected of him. Third, I have other friend who's kiddos have struggled with this and some of them have found that having their hearing checked was benificial. Especially if your little one had any ear infections. I hope you are able to find something that works for you and your family. Good luck!

lotsofsunshine

Sorry, just realized someone else had already brought up the hearing tests. Oops.

cm716

1. Toddlers suck sometimes (no pun intended).

2. It sounds like she is nursing excessively which may be preventing her from sleeping well. I had to night wean my daughter at 9 months because I just couldn't get up 7x/night. At the advice of my pediatrician, we went cold turkey which actually worked great.

3.my second daughter is 21 months old and seem to be less talkative then my other daughter was at her age. about 3 months ago I really amped up the number of books I was reading to her and that has helped her speech come along tremendously. I have also rewarded her when she does use speech. for example, if she wants juice I make her say juice please before I will give it to her. If she refuses to talk then she doesn't get it.

Hang in there mama! Dd1 was super cranky all of being three but seems to finally have mellowed out. We would have bad day after bad day and it was so frustrating.

haboobjob

Sorry to hear what you are going through. My DD (17mo) has similar behaviors. She talks some but definitely grunts and yells to get her way. She also does the stiff body when she's upset. We've also had an issue with self biting in extreme situations. I always assumed they are just common toddler things but we've been really working on trying to communicate properly. She is fully weaned so we aren't having any issues with that right now. Mostly just fits when she is told no and she doesn't agree. 

I would definitely talk to your pediatrician at your next appointment. I know it's tough when your toddler can't communicate and throws huge tantrums. It's exhausting. I feel you. Fingers crossed it gets easier sooner rather than later! 

lmtrmama

Thank you ladies!!! We are having a much better day, and it's also helping to read all of your comments! I will try all of your suggestions! Thank you thank you!