Can't hear the baby!

starsinnight

hi all-- 

I need some serious advice. I'll be going back to work when the baby is 4 weeks old (totally sucks, I know)... And the plan is hubby will be home to take care of her while I'm at work since he works overnight. 

Well, he needs sleep and I keep telling him what I do at night "sleep when baby sleeps." So we tested it out... And he sleeps like a rock and doesn't hear the baby crying at all when she gets up or wants to be fed/changed.

any tips? Suggestions?? I can't afford daycare and don't know what else to do. Hubby suggested calling him frequently to wake him up as he gets up for the phone. Or my boss suggested dropcam to watch the baby from work to make sure all is ok. Anyone have this experience or know how to become a lighter sleeper? Should I be so worried or will we figure it all out? 

OctoberStars

Is the baby sleeping nearby? You could try one of those cosleepers that puts the baby inside of a mini crib that goes in bed with  you. That way your husband's ear will be inches from baby's cries. 

ashton2190

If the baby is in another room, can you put the monitor right next to his head on a nightstand and turn the volume way up? Our first night home we were both so tired that we slept through LO crying. Luckily my mom was there and got her. The only downside to turning the volume up is that I wake up every time she makes a weird noise (which is pretty much constantly)

Ju111310

I used to work night shift as a nurse and I know how hard I slept then. It's miserable, the body is just exhausted from being unnaturally awake and alert all night. That being said, maybe he isn't waking bc in the back of his mind he knows that you're there right now? Hopefully that won't be the case when you go back to work. As others have said, put baby right next to him. Unfortunately LO might have to get really worked up & yelling to wake him but I bet it WILL wake him after a few mins. In another room...might be risky. Also, you said you can't afford daycare...this plan works for now, but what are you going to do in a few short months when baby is awake most of the day & doesn't sleep all the time? At that point, its unfair (and unsafe) for husband to work all night and be expected to be awake the majority of the day with LO. 

VitaLuna

Ju111310 said:

 Also, you said you can't afford daycare...this plan works for now, but what are you going to do in a few short months when baby is awake most of the day & doesn't sleep all the time? At that point, its unfair (and unsafe) for husband to work all night and be expected to be awake the majority of the day with LO. 

Everything PPs said, but especially this. Your plan will probably only work for a couple weeks. When LO is up more during the day, H can't take care of her. 

mrscammack

Once DH gets into a deep sleep he can't hear LO either, He has no idea how many times a night I get up with her. Unfortunately this means I'm just not comfortable leaving DH alone with her at night because I can't rely on him getting up with her. As PP's mentioned you will also have an issue once LO starts staying up for longer periods during the day and DH is up all night working and then expected to be up all day, or most of it, with the baby. I would say based on the situation you need to come up with another plan unfortunately, I know I personally wouldn't be comfortable based on the details you provided. 

g8trkim

Unfortunately, this arrangement doesn't sound like it will work. Could you do a part time childcare thing so he could at least get 4 or 5 solid hours sleep?

starsinnight

Thanks for the input. I'm looking into the daycare at my work hoping it'll be affordable. But otherwise, my job finishes in August and I don't yet have another job lined up so I'm hoping this arrangement will work for the next few months atleast. Hubby can sleep once I get home from work in the evenings before he goes to work, if we can figure out transportation issues too. It's all so much more complicated (although wonderful) with a baby. 

SgtLou2

I agree with many of the comments, but I wanted to add my experience.  DH has sleep issues (borderline narcoleptic... Barely missed the mark on the diagnosis on his sleep study!!).  So needless to say, he needs his sleep, falls asleep fast, and sleeps hard.  He seriously would not wake up if a tornado blew threw the house as long as I am there to handle things.  However, the times that I am not around and he is 100% responsible for the kids, something in his subconscious knows it and he has no problem waking up and responding.  He's groggy when he wakes up, but he wakes up quickly and takes care of the kids no problem.  Luckily his sleep hours are the normal nighttime hours, so he doesn't have to deal with opposite wake scheduled from the kids.  But, since he is such a heavy sleeper, I do not allow co-sleeping at all. LO sleeps next to the bed for now and when he goes into the crib, I will put the monitor at full volume by DHs head (when I'm not home). Since your hubby seems to be a deep sleeper, I suggest not putting baby in the bed with him alone. But, hopefully your DH might have the same "ability" to wake up when he doesn't have a choice.  Good luck!

starsinnight

Thanks!! I'm hoping this will be the case. We have a rock n play so she doesn't sleep in our bed at all, so nothing to worry about there! But she will be right nearby his ear to hopefully wake him. We will have to do a test run day to see how it goes!