I'm a grouchy pregnant lady and I don't give a damn. Ask me how I'm doing... Horrible Reach to touch my belly... I'm turning away Tell me how close to the finish line I am... I'll probably tell you about how far I have to go.
I know this is horrible and bitchy but I really don't give a damn. I only want to lay in bed, take long baths, and sit around at home. I would be a-ok limiting my social interactions to food delivery people, occasional movie snuggles with DH, and you ladies (online where I can come and go as I please without offending others).
I'm not particularly excited for a visit from the ILs this weekend. I feel like I should be because they are finally meeting our son (who is turning two next month), but it feels way too long overdue and it's already making DH cranky, which is turning me off to the whole idea.
I'm irritated at my birthing center bc I think they messed up my glucose test and now I have to take the 3 hour... I've gotten upset about it and already gotten over it... just decided to deal with the test, if I have GD I actually want to know that I do and if I don't have it then I don't. Nothing I can really do about it. If I do have it I have to transfer care at 31 weeks... PITA yes... But again... over it bc I'll do what I need to for a healthy baby.
DH however will not get over it. I know he's just trying to participate and make sure everything is done right, but the amount of GD articles I've read that he has sent in just the past 3 days is a little overwhelming. He keeps saying things like maybe I should decline the test (if I do, then I have to transfer care to a new practice anyway... I keep explaining this to him). One of my meetings went long today and I forgot to bring my breakfast with me... He noticed and got mad... and then got even more mad when I told him to back off a little bit bc it was becoming a little overbearing.
And honestly I don't care. He can be mad at me about this today if he wants. I've decided on my own already that stressing over it will absolutely not change the results or what has already happened and will certainly not help the baby. If he wants to stress about it... so be it.
And on the work front - more of a rant, but oh well but a meeting that ended up being almost 2 hours long should only have been maybe 30 minutes and it was initially scheduled to be an hour long. Now I'm cranky bc my back hurts bc I had to sit in the uncomfortable chairs in our conference room for 2 hours for a conversation I probably didn't need to be a part of.
DH and I did our babymoon last weekend (nothing fancy, just a winter getaway and massages at a hotel a few hours north) and I didn't bring any work with me, thinking that all I needed to be refreshed and reinvigorated to hunker down and meet all my deadlines before baby comes (9 weeks) was a few solid days off.
But the effect has been the opposite! I have been so darned lazy this week! I've been procrastinating by posting on this board (as I am sure you can tell!) and when I am not (and when I should be grading or writing) I am mostly puttering around the house or sitting on the couch crocheting things that I don't need. I've made three baby blankets this week alone.
I need to get my rear in gear or else I'm going to be pulling all-nighters well before baby makes me pull them...
I went to the Amish Market that isn't far from our apartment this morning and got half a dozen donuts. Obviously I don't intend to eat them all and certainly not at once, but I had a smores donut for breakfast. I regret nothing.
It was AMAZING. Fresh made amish donuts are soooooo much superior to any other donut I've ever had.
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
I went to the Amish Market that isn't far from our apartment this morning and got half a dozen donuts. Obviously I don't intend to eat them all and certainly not at once, but I had a smores donut for breakfast. I regret nothing.
It was AMAZING. Fresh made amish donuts are soooooo much superior to any other donut I've ever had.
Ok I'm not a stalker but I remember you saying you live in MD. Im pretty sure i know exactly what place you are talking about and they have THE BEST donuts of all times. And the best Apple fritter bites. Jealous.
Edited to say that I hope you are the MD person and I'm not just making the whole thing up in my head!
I went to the craft store yesterday and didn't buy anything... It was a strange experience. I did scope out fabric and might attempt to make a few newborn cloth diapers, I should probably finish my other projects first though
I went to the craft store yesterday and didn't buy anything... It was a strange experience. I did scope out fabric and might attempt to make a few newborn cloth diapers, I should probably finish my other projects first though
This is mind boggling to me. This is something that is literally impossible for me to do. LOL.
I'm not particularly excited for a visit from the ILs this weekend. I feel like I should be because they are finally meeting our son (who is turning two next month), but it feels way too long overdue and it's already making DH cranky, which is turning me off to the whole idea.
Like your MIL and FIL or extended family on your H's side? I can't believe they haven't met him yet!
I'm with @Charla1224 I am a very cranky pregnant lady, especially lately. If one more person tells me how huge I am or that I look like I am going to give birth like yesterday, I'm going to scream. Seriously, people, stfu and let me enjoy these last 8 weeks!
I'm not particularly excited for a visit from the ILs this weekend. I feel like I should be because they are finally meeting our son (who is turning two next month), but it feels way too long overdue and it's already making DH cranky, which is turning me off to the whole idea.
Like your MIL and FIL or extended family on your H's side? I can't believe they haven't met him yet!
Step-MIL and FIL. Yeah, they were invited when he was born, but they live a few states away, and there's a fair bit of family drama to boot. Other relatives from his side of the family have been out to visit numerous times and met DS first at 2mo.
People have started to ask when I'm being induced. I'm like excuse me why is that any of your business? Also I'm going to try to have a natural birth so it ticks me off even more that people just assume that! End mini rant.
My confessions are coming off more like rants today but..... *Kanye shrug*
I no longer believe in "having/ doing it all." Before I was pregnant I would've talked about powering through and working until you went into labor. Why? Because women can do it all. They can be pregnant, work, climb the ladder, achieve, win, conquer the world. But now as I suffer through the third trimester I say, "F that!" I can't do it all. Sometimes I need help. And that's ok! I don't want to work until my water breaks. I want to take long naps in the afternoon and sleep in. Not because I'm lazy but because I'm growing a f-ing human being. A human being that our world, society, economy depends on. We need women to have babies for our world to continue functioning and therefore, IMO, we (society) need to support women having babies. It just sucks because I don't have the time off to make this happen. I feel like the world is forcing me to try and have/ do it all.... and I confess that I just can't.
My confessions are coming off more like rants today but..... *Kanye shrug*
I no longer believe in "having/ doing it all." Before I was pregnant I would've talked about powering through and working until you went into labor. Why? Because women can do it all. They can be pregnant, work, climb the ladder, achieve, win, conquer the world. But now as I suffer through the third trimester I say, "F that!" I can't do it all. Sometimes I need help. And that's ok! I don't want to work until my water breaks. I want to take long naps in the afternoon and sleep in. Not because I'm lazy but because I'm growing a f-ing human being. A human being that our world, society, economy depends on. We need women to have babies for our world to continue functioning and therefore, IMO, we (society) need to support women having babies. It just sucks because I don't have the time off to make this happen. I feel like the world is forcing me to try and have/ do it all.... and I confess that I just can't.
I'm here too. I planned to work until the Friday before my due date (which is a Sunday). Just this past week I was like screw it, I'm leaving a week early. My job is super stressful. I want to be able to clear my head before the baby comes. It's not going to be looked on favorably at work, that's for sure. I work with mostly men whose child-rearing years are very much behind them. I can't even really care about that anymore, honestly. Like you said, I'm growing a human being.
My confessions are coming off more like rants today but..... *Kanye shrug*
I no longer believe in "having/ doing it all." Before I was pregnant I would've talked about powering through and working until you went into labor. Why? Because women can do it all. They can be pregnant, work, climb the ladder, achieve, win, conquer the world. But now as I suffer through the third trimester I say, "F that!" I can't do it all. Sometimes I need help. And that's ok! I don't want to work until my water breaks. I want to take long naps in the afternoon and sleep in. Not because I'm lazy but because I'm growing a f-ing human being. A human being that our world, society, economy depends on. We need women to have babies for our world to continue functioning and therefore, IMO, we (society) need to support women having babies. It just sucks because I don't have the time off to make this happen. I feel like the world is forcing me to try and have/ do it all.... and I confess that I just can't.
I'm here too. I planned to work until the Friday before my due date (which is a Sunday). Just this past week I was like screw it, I'm leaving a week early. My job is super stressful. I want to be able to clear my head before the baby comes. It's not going to be looked on favorably at work, that's for sure. I work with mostly men whose child-rearing years are very much behind them. I can't even really care about that anymore, honestly. Like you said, I'm growing a human being.
I'm feeling really torn about when to start my maternity leave. I'm extremely lucky to have the flexibility at work to decide when the time comes but I just don't know what will be best. I'm worried that if I stop working before I go into labor I will feel like a ticking time bomb watching/waiting for labor to start which would be miserable. But I'm pretty much miserable now and the idea of working until the bitter end sounds really hard.
@Charla1224 I hear you! I think the "have it all" message got botched like a bad game of telephone. It's not so much doing it all, all at once, but rather, having the same flexibility of options like men do. This article is getting old, but I still like it (though she goes to the extreme to keep her career going seamlessly, which hopefully no one feels they have to do to quite the same extent) : https://www.huffingtonpost.com/amy-westervelt/having-it-all-kinda-sucks_b_9237772.html
eta: "having it all" has led to very little sleep for me over the past few years, and crazy things like prepping lunches and pumping supplies after 3am wake-ups out of worry that I won't have time to do it before work and because I didn't have time to do it after work/before bed...since ya' know, I was folding and putting away laundry at 10pm before a bf session and after grading papers (before which was more bf, and more chores on repeat). I'm so relieved to be able to pull the budget tightly enough to make taking a year off work this time around because working with a newborn, is doable (there are many STM+ moms here, so you all know it'll be worth it!), but it's no stroll in the park either. And as wonderful as DH is, he certainly wasn't doing chores in the middle of the night to keep up.
My confessions are coming off more like rants today but..... *Kanye shrug*
I no longer believe in "having/ doing it all." Before I was pregnant I would've talked about powering through and working until you went into labor. Why? Because women can do it all. They can be pregnant, work, climb the ladder, achieve, win, conquer the world. But now as I suffer through the third trimester I say, "F that!" I can't do it all. Sometimes I need help. And that's ok! I don't want to work until my water breaks. I want to take long naps in the afternoon and sleep in. Not because I'm lazy but because I'm growing a f-ing human being. A human being that our world, society, economy depends on. We need women to have babies for our world to continue functioning and therefore, IMO, we (society) need to support women having babies. It just sucks because I don't have the time off to make this happen. I feel like the world is forcing me to try and have/ do it all.... and I confess that I just can't.
I'm here too. I planned to work until the Friday before my due date (which is a Sunday). Just this past week I was like screw it, I'm leaving a week early. My job is super stressful. I want to be able to clear my head before the baby comes. It's not going to be looked on favorably at work, that's for sure. I work with mostly men whose child-rearing years are very much behind them. I can't even really care about that anymore, honestly. Like you said, I'm growing a human being.
I'm feeling really torn about when to start my maternity leave. I'm extremely lucky to have the flexibility at work to decide when the time comes but I just don't know what will be best. I'm worried that if I stop working before I go into labor I will feel like a ticking time bomb watching/waiting for labor to start which would be miserable. But I'm pretty much miserable now and the idea of working until the bitter end sounds really hard.
It is so weird when people ask when my last day of work is and then my EDD and the reactions are intense. This little lady is getting a slightly early eviction notice at 38wks so she will be delivered via CS on 4/20. The last day of school before April break is 4/15. So, I figured I would work until 4/15, then gracefully glide off into the sunset. But apparently, everyone is shocked that I will be working so close to the date. I mean, it's not like I am going to go into labor at work (oh, God, please I hope not!). I will work until the Friday, then have the weekend and a few days to settle and breathe until I go in for the scheduled procedure on Wednesday. Seems fine to me, but coworkers, family, and friends all think I am nuts. Am I being naive here? I feel like it will work, but maybe not...?
@LadySamLady on the flip side, I was home alone for 3 weeks until I finally had to be induced and it was miserable!!! Lol-- but then again the wait- whether at home or at work- would be miserable. Just make sure you have things to do
My confessions are coming off more like rants today but..... *Kanye shrug*
I no longer believe in "having/ doing it all." Before I was pregnant I would've talked about powering through and working until you went into labor. Why? Because women can do it all. They can be pregnant, work, climb the ladder, achieve, win, conquer the world. But now as I suffer through the third trimester I say, "F that!" I can't do it all. Sometimes I need help. And that's ok! I don't want to work until my water breaks. I want to take long naps in the afternoon and sleep in. Not because I'm lazy but because I'm growing a f-ing human being. A human being that our world, society, economy depends on. We need women to have babies for our world to continue functioning and therefore, IMO, we (society) need to support women having babies. It just sucks because I don't have the time off to make this happen. I feel like the world is forcing me to try and have/ do it all.... and I confess that I just can't.
I'm here too. I planned to work until the Friday before my due date (which is a Sunday). Just this past week I was like screw it, I'm leaving a week early. My job is super stressful. I want to be able to clear my head before the baby comes. It's not going to be looked on favorably at work, that's for sure. I work with mostly men whose child-rearing years are very much behind them. I can't even really care about that anymore, honestly. Like you said, I'm growing a human being.
I'm feeling really torn about when to start my maternity leave. I'm extremely lucky to have the flexibility at work to decide when the time comes but I just don't know what will be best. I'm worried that if I stop working before I go into labor I will feel like a ticking time bomb watching/waiting for labor to start which would be miserable. But I'm pretty much miserable now and the idea of working until the bitter end sounds really hard.
It is so weird when people ask when my last day of work is and then my EDD and the reactions are intense. This little lady is getting a slightly early eviction notice at 38wks so she will be delivered via CS on 4/20. The last day of school before April break is 4/15. So, I figured I would work until 4/15, then gracefully glide off into the sunset. But apparently, everyone is shocked that I will be working so close to the date. I mean, it's not like I am going to go into labor at work (oh, God, please I hope not!). I will work until the Friday, then have the weekend and a few days to settle and breathe until I go in for the scheduled procedure on Wednesday. Seems fine to me, but coworkers, family, and friends all think I am nuts. Am I being naive here? I feel like it will work, but maybe not...?
My manager at my last job, which was pretty physically demanding for a pregnant woman, said she was going to work until she went into labor. I thought that was nuts (not that I had any experience) but sure enough, she did! Think she went into labor over the weekend and everything worked out perfectly for her. My plan is to work as long as I can but depending on how I feel, I might go on leave a week or so early. Luckily my job is not very demanding (I sit all day) and my boss is my Dad so I can play it by ear and not worry about it!
@Charla1224 , I hear you. Why do we have to strap it on and deal? I am sick of people asking me how I feel, only to be told " you have a while to go". Yeah, thanks for reminding me. It's the women that have never been pregnant (my boss) that have no idea what it is like. Not sleeping means more than just be tired the next day. When this is happening night after night, do they have any idea how hard it is to focus at work? Every part of me lacks energy right now. Even my arms feel like they are made of lead. And I am supposed to be fully functioning like this?
Then when my boss asks me when I am starting my leave, and I tell her I want to work until I go into labor, she looks at me like I have 7 heads. Lady, we only get 12 weeks off. I want to spend every second I can with Harper. Of course I would like to have a week to rest before, but since you wont let me take any additional time off, I am screwed, right? I have to choose between resting and being kind to myself and precious time with my daughter, or feeling like shit right until the end so I can spend the few weeks we are allowed to take off with her.
On the subject of maternity leave, something dawned on me this week. We all hear about how US kids lag behind all these other countries with education. I wonder how much of it is because mom is forced back to work at 12 weeks. Barely enough time for bonding and being with your baby. So instead of your baby getting love and bonding time, they are dropped off at daycare where they have to split their time with the 2 workers in the room. And how much time can 2 workers give 12 kids?? How can the kids start learning at an early age when they can't get a caretakers full attention? I really wonder if we got to spend more time with our kids at the beginning, if it would set them up for a lifetime of achievement since we can spend more time teaching them?
I think just got a bit ranty, and I don't care. I also am WAY too tired to re-read this post to make sure it even makes sense, but I think you should be able to get my drift
Working till delivery is not for me. My job is physically demanding and even on slow nights I'll walk over 2.5 miles.
I'm going off around 37 weeks and relaxing/ tanning/ enjoying a mini spring break before baby gets here. I had saved all my PTO like a squirrel and I have plenty to live comfortably; and I'll still have a cache after my maternity leave is over.
Ok, my real FFFC is I have gone registry crazy now that I know my sisters are throwing me a baby shower. I am like a kid in a candy store! Originally I just made the registry for the completion discount and put just a few things on it (including nursing bras!), but now I am going all out. And it is a lot more pink than I thought it was going to be. I showed MH a print out, but since I printed it at work it was in black and white so he has no idea what we are in for with this pink-a-palooza! I do feel guilty because we already have all the essentials from my son, but now I am registering for just ridiculously cute girly things. I didn't know I had this side to me. It's the baby talking!
@yogahh As a daycare teacher, we'd like to be able to spend more time with each kid then we get to sadly. It's hard because you truly do want the best for each of your kids.
My FFFC is that I declined an invite to an Arbonne party tonight, but almost changed my answer when I saw the host had made chocolate cupcakes for the event. I was seriously close.
@yogahh As a daycare teacher, we'd like to be able to spend more time with each kid then we get to sadly. It's hard because you truly do want the best for each of your kids.
I am sure you do. Or you wouldn't be in the business (I couldn't imagine being around kids all day like that! My hat off to you!!). But nothing compares to mom, you know...
I've only gotten 1 1/2 hours of sleep and am still contemplating going to get a mani and pedi just to pamper myself and celebrate having the house essentially to myself since DD and DH are gone. I planned to shampoo the floors and couch but am putting it off for later...
Been married since 2009. Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter) Several MCs DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)
I'm totally Type A. I hate messing up, not doing the right thing, or being criticized. I'm too much of a perfectionist in my daily and work life.
I feel like I've reached a turning point. I just got a work email that would normally make me cry and feel awful. I surprised myself when I read it, leaned back in my chair, and just laughed. It took falling down stairs, third trimester aches and pains, and an upper respiratory infection where I'm hacking up a lung to get to this point, but I just do not give two shits anymore. My response was saying thank you so much for the advice!
I'm totally Type A. I hate messing up, not doing the right thing, or being criticized. I'm too much of a perfectionist in my daily and work life.
I feel like I've reached a turning point. I just got a work email that would normally make me cry and feel awful. I surprised myself when I read it, leaned back in my chair, and just laughed. It took falling down stairs, third trimester aches and pains, and an upper respiratory infection where I'm hacking up a lung to get to this point, but I just do not give two shits anymore. My response was saying thank you so much for the advice!
I did this exact same thing. I had to print out my monthly report for February and it was a total mess. I spent like 30 min cleaning it up, but it was nowhere near my normal caliber of work. I just am starting not to care anymore. You do reach a limit and with all the crap going on, don't feel bad for hitting yours.
I'm totally Type A. I hate messing up, not doing the right thing, or being criticized. I'm too much of a perfectionist in my daily and work life.
I feel like I've reached a turning point. I just got a work email that would normally make me cry and feel awful. I surprised myself when I read it, leaned back in my chair, and just laughed. It took falling down stairs, third trimester aches and pains, and an upper respiratory infection where I'm hacking up a lung to get to this point, but I just do not give two shits anymore. My response was saying thank you so much for the advice!
I've totally been like this too. I honestly just don't care anymore. I feel like I have more important things to worry about now than what I used to worry about before.
I feel like I want to throat punch the next person that asks me how I am doing and then after I tell them says something like oh you just wait, or you haven't seen/felt nothing yet, or anything along those lines.
Sometimes I just want to scream at them like do you seriously think that I do not know that it is going to get worse? I do read books, I do research online, I have heard stories. It just irks me beyond belief!
On an unrelated note, I saw on FB that it was trending that it was national employee appreciation day so I managed to talk my boss into letting us out an hour early. Not really too hard to do though, she is pretty relaxed. It's the people that are above her that are the hard azzes. We are so slow today anyway and I only have an hour and fifteen minutes left!
I want to take all three of our dogs to the groomer and have them shaved or cut close as possible to help reduce the amount of dog fur. We got a new canister vacuum (instead of a bag type) for Valentines Day and the other day was the first time I got around to using the new one. I only did less than half the living room and it was full of dog fur from just one of our three dogs. He is the one that stays in the living room mostly.
I have stayed away from my office this week and am working at home instead so I can get more work done/avoid distractions of being at the office. And instead of being in my home office, I'm snuggling with my dog on my bed.
@yogahh As a daycare teacher, we'd like to be able to spend more time with each kid then we get to sadly. It's hard because you truly do want the best for each of your kids.
I am sure you do. Or you wouldn't be in the business (I couldn't imagine being around kids all day like that! My hat off to you!!). But nothing compares to mom, you know...
I think that depends on the mom! My mom was the best, but that lady needed to work... not totally a kid person - at least not all the time. I can guarantee that I'll be a way better mom when I'm around my baby if I'm not around her all the time. I think that there are a lot of amazing ladies who are better wired to be awesome moms 24/7, but I don't think I'm one of them, and am so happy for daycare options!
I think the first couple of months are important to be together for feeding/bonding purposes, but beyond that I think there's a lot to be gained for outside stimulus of other babies, getting used to other environments, etc. Not that it's better, but I don't at all feel like my baby will be worse off for going that route.
But if we're really just complaining that our short maternity leave is a b****, I am right there with you. Four weeks, unpaid. I just told them I'd be taking two months, but it still all feels pretty ridiculous.
@yogahh As a daycare teacher, we'd like to be able to spend more time with each kid then we get to sadly. It's hard because you truly do want the best for each of your kids.
I am sure you do. Or you wouldn't be in the business (I couldn't imagine being around kids all day like that! My hat off to you!!). But nothing compares to mom, you know...
I think that depends on the mom! My mom was the best, but that lady needed to work... not totally a kid person - at least not all the time. I can guarantee that I'll be a way better mom when I'm around my baby if I'm not around her all the time. I think that there are a lot of amazing ladies who are better wired to be awesome moms 24/7, but I don't think I'm one of them, and am so happy for daycare options!
I think the first couple of months are important to be together for feeding/bonding purposes, but beyond that I think there's a lot to be gained for outside stimulus of other babies, getting used to other environments, etc. Not that it's better, but I don't at all feel like my baby will be worse off for going that route.
But if we're really just complaining that our short maternity leave is a b****, I am right there with you. Four weeks, unpaid. I just told them I'd be taking two months, but it still all feels pretty ridiculous.
4 WEEKS????? You are kidding, right?? How does any company think a woman is physically or mentally ready to come back after 4 weeks. Wow, I am sorry to hear that. I am glad to hear you were able to extend it.
And yes, more of a vent. I do agree that having interaction with other kids is vital for growth as well. I just wish we got a standard 6 months (give or take) to have that time with baby. I cried last night during Rattled when the boring NYC lady dropped her kid off at daycare. How will I be able to do that? It all just sucks.
I ate healthy food and snacks today, and was STARVING all day long. After work, I caved and stopped at McDonalds, devoured the food, and hid the evidence in the back of my car so my husband wouldn't judge me. Not 2 minutes after I walked in the door, he made a comment (about some expired hummus a coworker gave me for some reason) and goes "I mean, if I wanted to get sick, I'd just go to McDonalds..." I've already inspected my clothes for any stray fries, maybe he smelled it on me!? Maybe he saw me there!? I hope I'm just being paranoid but I'm convinced he is on to me!
I ate healthy food and snacks today, and was STARVING all day long. After work, I caved and stopped at McDonalds, devoured the food, and hid the evidence in the back of my car so my husband wouldn't judge me. Not 2 minutes after I walked in the door, he made a comment (about some expired hummus a coworker gave me for some reason) and goes "I mean, if I wanted to get sick, I'd just go to McDonalds..." I've already inspected my clothes for any stray fries, maybe he smelled it on me!? Maybe he saw me there!? I hope I'm just being paranoid but I'm convinced he is on to me!
Really wanting to throw my coworker under the bus who lets deadlines pass on our team projects/deliverable. Because I know it's not professional I've restrained myself so far. If I can do it tactfully at a check-in with my boss I will. I'm over having to manage other people when I'm not their manager.
Re: FFFC 3/4/16
Ask me how I'm doing... Horrible
Reach to touch my belly... I'm turning away
Tell me how close to the finish line I am... I'll probably tell you about how far I have to go.
I know this is horrible and bitchy but I really don't give a damn. I only want to lay in bed, take long baths, and sit around at home. I would be a-ok limiting my social interactions to food delivery people, occasional movie snuggles with DH, and you ladies (online where I can come and go as I please without offending others).
DD: 05/14/16
DH however will not get over it. I know he's just trying to participate and make sure everything is done right, but the amount of GD articles I've read that he has sent in just the past 3 days is a little overwhelming. He keeps saying things like maybe I should decline the test (if I do, then I have to transfer care to a new practice anyway... I keep explaining this to him). One of my meetings went long today and I forgot to bring my breakfast with me... He noticed and got mad... and then got even more mad when I told him to back off a little bit bc it was becoming a little overbearing.
And honestly I don't care. He can be mad at me about this today if he wants. I've decided on my own already that stressing over it will absolutely not change the results or what has already happened and will certainly not help the baby. If he wants to stress about it... so be it.
And on the work front - more of a rant, but oh well but a meeting that ended up being almost 2 hours long should only have been maybe 30 minutes and it was initially scheduled to be an hour long. Now I'm cranky bc my back hurts bc I had to sit in the uncomfortable chairs in our conference room for 2 hours for a conversation I probably didn't need to be a part of.
But the effect has been the opposite! I have been so darned lazy this week! I've been procrastinating by posting on this board (as I am sure you can tell!) and when I am not (and when I should be grading or writing) I am mostly puttering around the house or sitting on the couch crocheting things that I don't need. I've made three baby blankets this week alone.
I need to get my rear in gear or else I'm going to be pulling all-nighters well before baby makes me pull them...
I went to the Amish Market that isn't far from our apartment this morning and got half a dozen donuts. Obviously I don't intend to eat them all and certainly not at once, but I had a smores donut for breakfast. I regret nothing.
It was AMAZING. Fresh made amish donuts are soooooo much superior to any other donut I've ever had.
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI IUI #1 8/31/2015
9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!Like your MIL and FIL or extended family on your H's side? I can't believe they haven't met him yet!
People have started to ask when I'm being induced. I'm like excuse me why is that any of your business? Also I'm going to try to have a natural birth so it ticks me off even more that people just assume that! End mini rant.
I no longer believe in "having/ doing it all." Before I was pregnant I would've talked about powering through and working until you went into labor. Why? Because women can do it all. They can be pregnant, work, climb the ladder, achieve, win, conquer the world. But now as I suffer through the third trimester I say, "F that!" I can't do it all. Sometimes I need help. And that's ok! I don't want to work until my water breaks. I want to take long naps in the afternoon and sleep in. Not because I'm lazy but because I'm growing a f-ing human being. A human being that our world, society, economy depends on. We need women to have babies for our world to continue functioning and therefore, IMO, we (society) need to support women having babies. It just sucks because I don't have the time off to make this happen. I feel like the world is forcing me to try and have/ do it all.... and I confess that I just can't.
DD: 05/14/16
@Charla1224 I hear you! I think the "have it all" message got botched like a bad game of telephone. It's not so much doing it all, all at once, but rather, having the same flexibility of options like men do. This article is getting old, but I still like it (though she goes to the extreme to keep her career going seamlessly, which hopefully no one feels they have to do to quite the same extent) : https://www.huffingtonpost.com/amy-westervelt/having-it-all-kinda-sucks_b_9237772.html
eta: "having it all" has led to very little sleep for me over the past few years, and crazy things like prepping lunches and pumping supplies after 3am wake-ups out of worry that I won't have time to do it before work and because I didn't have time to do it after work/before bed...since ya' know, I was folding and putting away laundry at 10pm before a bf session and after grading papers (before which was more bf, and more chores on repeat). I'm so relieved to be able to pull the budget tightly enough to make taking a year off work this time around because working with a newborn, is doable (there are many STM+ moms here, so you all know it'll be worth it!), but it's no stroll in the park either. And as wonderful as DH is, he certainly wasn't doing chores in the middle of the night to keep up.
Then when my boss asks me when I am starting my leave, and I tell her I want to work until I go into labor, she looks at me like I have 7 heads. Lady, we only get 12 weeks off. I want to spend every second I can with Harper. Of course I would like to have a week to rest before, but since you wont let me take any additional time off, I am screwed, right? I have to choose between resting and being kind to myself and precious time with my daughter, or feeling like shit right until the end so I can spend the few weeks we are allowed to take off with her.
On the subject of maternity leave, something dawned on me this week. We all hear about how US kids lag behind all these other countries with education. I wonder how much of it is because mom is forced back to work at 12 weeks. Barely enough time for bonding and being with your baby. So instead of your baby getting love and bonding time, they are dropped off at daycare where they have to split their time with the 2 workers in the room. And how much time can 2 workers give 12 kids?? How can the kids start learning at an early age when they can't get a caretakers full attention? I really wonder if we got to spend more time with our kids at the beginning, if it would set them up for a lifetime of achievement since we can spend more time teaching them?
I think just got a bit ranty, and I don't care. I also am WAY too tired to re-read this post to make sure it even makes sense, but I think you should be able to get my drift
I'm going off around 37 weeks and relaxing/ tanning/ enjoying a mini spring break before baby gets here. I had saved all my PTO like a squirrel and I have plenty to live comfortably; and I'll still have a cache after my maternity leave is over.
BFP #1: 9/12/2015
DD: 6/1/2016
BFP #2: 1/16/2018 MC 2/2/2018
Been married since 2009.
Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter)
Several MCs
DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)
I feel like I've reached a turning point. I just got a work email that would normally make me cry and feel awful. I surprised myself when I read it, leaned back in my chair, and just laughed. It took falling down stairs, third trimester aches and pains, and an upper respiratory infection where I'm hacking up a lung to get to this point, but I just do not give two shits anymore. My response was saying thank you so much for the advice!
Sometimes I just want to scream at them like do you seriously think that I do not know that it is going to get worse? I do read books, I do research online, I have heard stories. It just irks me beyond belief!
On an unrelated note, I saw on FB that it was trending that it was national employee appreciation day so I managed to talk my boss into letting us out an hour early. Not really too hard to do though, she is pretty relaxed. It's the people that are above her that are the hard azzes. We are so slow today anyway and I only have an hour and fifteen minutes left!
I want to take all three of our dogs to the groomer and have them shaved or cut close as possible to help reduce the amount of dog fur. We got a new canister vacuum (instead of a bag type) for Valentines Day and the other day was the first time I got around to using the new one. I only did less than half the living room and it was full of dog fur from just one of our three dogs. He is the one that stays in the living room mostly.
First Pregnancy
Second Pregnancy
- BFP: 09/11/2015
- EDD: 05/25/2016
Baby Born04/15/2016
PGAL
DS: Born 5-17-16
I think the first couple of months are important to be together for feeding/bonding purposes, but beyond that I think there's a lot to be gained for outside stimulus of other babies, getting used to other environments, etc. Not that it's better, but I don't at all feel like my baby will be worse off for going that route.
But if we're really just complaining that our short maternity leave is a b****, I am right there with you. Four weeks, unpaid. I just told them I'd be taking two months, but it still all feels pretty ridiculous.
And yes, more of a vent. I do agree that having interaction with other kids is vital for growth as well. I just wish we got a standard 6 months (give or take) to have that time with baby. I cried last night during Rattled when the boring NYC lady dropped her kid off at daycare. How will I be able to do that? It all just sucks.