Second time high risk...

Kelly_12

How do you cope knowing your second baby is going to come early too? I had a 34w0d preemie who had a lot of minor complications for his gestation and was in nicu for a month. It was emotionally exhausting though we survived and he's 2.5 years now and amazing.
Now with second pregnancy my cervix is short and I'm on progesterone and restrictions and at my 20wk ultrasound this week it showed it's still shortening even with all the restrictions and progesterone. My OB said "let's just see if we can try and get you to 34 weeks again" which I just keep replaying in my head.  I mean I knew I had a high chance for another preemie....but knowing our goal is to just not have an earlier preemie and that it's pretty much inevitable she will come early is terrifying and overwhelming. 
How do any of you second time mom's with complications again cope? How do I stop stressing and worrying knowing the nicu is very likely to be in our future? I think it's scarier knowing what I know and how hard it will be..... my husband thinks the opposite, we've done it once - we know what we are doing, it will be ok. But I can't make myself think like that :S 
Words of encouragement please.....

DiFazette

Are you a candidate for a cerclage?  Has your doc mentioned it?  I don't have experience with a short cervix but had a preemie due to HELLP and IUGR with DS (now almost 3).  We are TTC #2 and I have a lot of the same fears because I'm more likely to develop issues in subsequent pregnancies.  I do happen to agree with your H, the NICU environment may not be as jarring as the first time around.  It also may be harder with a toddler at home.  I'd ask about a cerclage if it hasn't been discussed.  Good luck.  Modern medicine is amazing and you know first hand that even if baby comes early, it will be hard, but okay.  

Kelly_12

thanks for the reply... not a candidate for a cerclage as it's not 'short enough' to be required at this point. I am on activity restrictions and taking progesterone..so far they didn't help much from my 16 week ultrasound to my 20 week..but.. maybe before the next one I will see that it's helping! time will tell!
I think it's good she's put it in my head to come to terms that this one will likely be early as well, there's obviously a chance she'll cook till full term, but it's a small chance I think.
I am trying really hard everyday to think like DH and focus on the "we've done this before, we can do it again" mentality. But I do feel like it will be a lot different and lot harder with a toddler at home too. Just hoping everyday she cooks till at least as long as he did!!