The best way I can describe myself in any social situation for as long as I can remember is "fragile". I thought that when I became a mother I would naturally become stronger. I was assuming/hoping that naturally I would become "indestructible" so to speak. Well, instead of strength I ended up with extreme anxiety. Anytime I go anywhere public with My LO without DH I find myself clinging to him thinking that as soon as I let my guard down for even a moment something horrible could happen. Like, someone might try to take him away from me or hurt us. Now, don't get me wrong I absolutely know how crazy I sound and how ridiculous I'm being but I still can't seem to shake it off. I'm no therapist but I have a lot of theories as to how my anxiety got this bad. I've lost a lot of faith in people due to being hurt or manipulated by people I trusted and I also lost my father all within the last couple of years. All the craziness going on in the world isn't helping me either. All mixed with the stress and hormones of having a baby. Oh! and I'm a military wife with no family nearby. I'm aware of how depressing I probably sound but im generally a very happy person. I love my life! I just really can't shake these thoughts. It makes me feel like every time I go out alone with DS I'm putting him at risk. The world became such a scary place after my DS was born. I know this is a somewhat common thing among FTM and I thought I'd seek out some advice on how to get over it. Its been 5 months and I'm ready to enjoy getting out of the house alone with DS! Being military DH goes out on week long trips at times and I just dread it. It's a lot of pressure on him to do EVERYTHING with me. I would take up a defense class or something but I'm to nervous to get a sitter.
Re: FTM and anxiety is getting worse. Advice?
I struggled after my first was born with bad anxiety and it took me forever to realize that other people went places with their kids without feeling that way. I finally recignized that there was something that could be done to help.
I encourage you to open up to a health professional and explain what's going on!
I'll tell you this, it gets better. Like any experience facing fears, the more you go out in public, the more you'll realize bad things PROBABLY won't happen.
Your baby is LUCKY to have a concerned mother. Pat yourself on the back and take a bubble bath. You deserve it. Do some stress relief.
It does get better. My twins are almost 2 and we just got a babysitter (my mom) this weekend for the first time ever.
I suggest meditation or yoga. I know it sounds crazy but it does help. Taking multiple deep breaths before going somewhere, or before something that makes you anxious.
Another thing that I had to be aware of was what I ate. If I didn't eat enough fruits and vegetables I would feel "off".
You might not want to watch the news either. That would upset me more than usual when I saw a report about bad things happening to kids.
I'm so sorry. It's an awful feeling.