My boss grrrr

65griffin79

I lost my twins in November at 20 weeks. My manager at work has been tormenting me ever since. Making cruel comments daily, pointing out the fact that I'm no longer pregnant (of course only in my earshot).
I work in surgery. She assigns me to every D+C even though I'm not even on the gynecological team. My skill set is limited to to a hospital, so I can't just get another job.

I filed a complaint with HR. Their "investigation" of her was simply just asking her if it was true, to which she of course denied. So of course she is now even worse. And now, HR has "forbidden" me of talking about the matter, even with coworkers. 

I'm more or less just venting here. I'm a shy person that keeps to myself. I never thought I would be bullied and harassed for a miscarriage.

roxgibbons

As if going through a loss wasn't hard enough- I am so sorry that you are going through this. What a sadistic bitch. I can somewhat relate. Several year ago when I was going through my divorce, I had a terrible boss who tormented me and made my life miserable during a terrible time. I did the same as you and filed  a complaint with HR and I even went to her boss who was the head of our department who told me if I was unhappy I should quit. So I did- I quit once I found another job and she was absolutely furious. Unfortunately, with HR departments, their job is to protect the employer, not the employee. I doubt this person will turn a leaf and become a decent human being. I wish your HR would do something to protect you. All you can do is document everything and take matters into your own hands and change your situation. You deserve to be in a supportive environment. I hope this gets resolved for you. Hugs to you. 

zrain

That is completely outrageous. I can't believe anyone would be so cruel. I wonder what happened to her that she feels the need to do that to you. I'm so sorry that you lost your twins and that you're having to go through this on top of it.

iceandsnowflakes29

OMG. Just, omg. There are no words. I'm so sorry for your loss and I'm so sorry you're going through this on top of it    so many ((hugs)). 

BrightenMySky

I am so sorry for your losses.  And now having to deal with this asshole bully on top of it.  Document everything.  Does she say these terrible things in front of other people?  If she ever does, include their names in your documentation.  I might also talk to an employment lawyer to see if you have any options for dealing with your boss and HR.

Although you say your skill set is limited to a hospital, it seems like that could give you some options depending on where you live.  Might you be able to transfer within your hospital to work under a different person?  Any other facilities in your area? 

AL_TwinCities

I'm so sorry you are dealing with that. What a terrible environment to be in. Are there other hospitals in your area where you could apply? I would also look for a therapist so you can vent about this in your sessions - maybe they could give suggestions for how to deal with her.

mommy2owl

I'm so sorry for your losses. I can't imagine dealing with that woman on top of everything you're going through. *hugs*

MooFish2364

That is so horrible! I don't know you personally but I am enraged that someone would treat you like that after such a horrible event. I agree with others, unfortunately HR's job is not really to work for the employees like you would expect. It's sad but true. I know it's stressful and hard to find and get another job but it might be worth your personal and emotional wellbeing to get away from that horrible lady! She clears needs some kind of mental health treatment to feel it necessary to treat someone the way that she is treating you. I'm so sorry you have to go through this! 

chloe97

I am so so sorry for what you are going through.  I want to ninja chop that bitch in the face for you.

I agree with document everything! Dates, conversations, surgeries you are assigned. Honestly, I would download a recording app on my phone and then record your conversations. After this If HR doesn't act, find an attorney. Actually find an attorney now. They usually will provide you an initial consultation for free. Best of luck!

MooFish2364

I was taking about this with my husband and he said that you should hire an attorney right now! Collect all of the evidence that you can and sue the pants off your employer that is allowing that horrible lady to treat you in such a disgusting manner. I'm still ticked off about what she is putting you through! 

65griffin79

That's part of the problem, my evidence is all my word against hers. She only says things to me when no one else is around. And she told HR is was coincidental that I was assigned to all of the D and Cs. She's a manager and I'm not. 
My partner thinks she's a sociopath. It just sucks. Thanks for the kind words everyone.

65griffin79

That's part of the problem, my evidence is all my word against hers. She only says things to me when no one else is around. And she told HR is was coincidental that I was assigned to all of the D and Cs. She's a manager and I'm not. 
My partner thinks she's a sociopath. It just sucks. Thanks for the kind words everyone.