January 2016 Moms

Wanting Another

Well I had my baby girl on Jan 3rd 6 hours before her actual due date. Labor was rough but worth every ounce of pain. She will be 2 months old here on March 3rd I keep getting an overwhelming urge to want another baby already this has been happening since her birth. Some days I just want to wait and enjoy our time with her first and some days I want to go through it all over again for another baby. We had two previous miscarriages before we got her so maybe it's just that I'm so happy and blessed I can't wait to experience it again. Anyone else like this?

Re: Wanting Another

  • What does your partner think? Have you looked into research about gaps between pregnancies and how that impacts health outcomes of the infant and mother? Are you working, have you looked into your finances? Babies are precious but we owe it to our children to think these things through. 

    I want more children, but I want to ensure this baby gets the individual attention he needs while he's at his most dependent and vulnerable age. We are waiting at least one year to get pregnant again. 
  • I have felt that way on and off too but then realized I need to let my body heal more and I feel sightly that I would be cheating LO out of one on one bonding time. I def want another eventually !!
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  • My kids are 21 1/2 months apart, the second pregnancy was hell on my body.  If I had it to do over again I would wait longer, not much but probably 6 months or so.  
  • Not me.  At this time I can not imagine giving my time to another child.  It will def. be 2-3 years before we may try for another.  As time goes on, we will see if that's still something we want.  We've also had the discussion on whether or not we'd really be happy with just having 1 child and raising DS as an only child. 
  • It could just be your hormones still going a bit crazy. After my first I didn't want another until he was like 3 years old. DD has been a much easier baby and I see myself wanting another a lot sooner this time around, but I also want to make sure she's getting plenty of individual attention.
  • BarrettJ89BarrettJ89 member
    edited February 2016
    My kids are 13 months, 2 days apart. The second pregnancy was extremely rough on my body and my mind. I cried the day I found out I was pregnant. Even now, although I love my baby very, very much, I feel like I lost so much with my son. His entire first year was spent preparing for another baby. I was exhausted and stressed, rather than chasing him at the park or enjoying his first year. Now that the baby is here, my hands are often tied with her and he is just too young to understand he cannot be in my lap RIGHT NOW. It absolutely breaks my heart that he cries and gets so upset because I can't play or snuggle with him on demand. He is also extremely mischievous and I feel like I'm constantly having to yell loudly to get his attention or tossing the baby into her swing/pack n play in order to run and catch him from doing something catastrophic. Also, taking them places because DD is in the infant car seat and DS is in a rear facing convertible seat, and he's still too young to walk reliably without being carried out held on to. Personally, it is hard to carry a squirming toddler and a car seat at the same time. We are also paying roughly $90 every 2 weeks for diapers alone. 

    Again, I love both babies, and there are pros to having them close in age, but it is extremely challenging.

    ETA: sorry, that turned into a "don't do it" troll really fast. Totally not intended. Babies are great, but if it were me doing it over again, I'd spend every second I could enjoying DS before even thinking about another. 
  • Mine was born on February 3, so I'm a little behind you, but I don't think I'll be ready for another anytime soon! I can't imagine going through early pregnancy again with a baby who doesn't sleep through the night, plus I want to have lots of time to heal up before putting my body through the strain of pregnancy and labor again. I will say, though, that I feel more ready to think about a second baby than I expected. I thought it would take a while before my visceral memory of labor faded and I was ready to think about going through it again, but the prospect seems manageable. Eventually.
  • I feel the complete opposite. I'm so content right now with my baby that I can't imagine having another one anytime soon. I'm definitely enjoying the time with this baby right now. There again I'm very young so that's probably why. But I do agree with you feeling like it may be because you are so excited after your previous miscarriages. That makes total sense. Congratulations on your baby<3 
  • alisongemalisongem member
    edited February 2016
    I'm definitely not ready to have another (emotionally, physically, or financially) but I understand where you're coming from. The moments between giving birth and holding my baby for the first time felt so incredible that I can't wait to do it again. But for now I'll enjoy all the incredible moments that I get to share with this one :)
  • I definitely want another. I want my kids close in age. DH and I hoping for a 2017 baby, though ideally later in 2017 than earlier. It'll be hard but it'll be so worth it. 
  • So far we've had a (Aug) 2012 a (Jan) 2014 and a (Jan) 2016, so we're thinking we'll have one more in 2018 I'm thinking a late spring/ summer baby and then we'll be done! Ahhhhh I never want to be done having little babies. 
  • No, no I don't feel that way at all lol But that's fine that you do! For the sake of your mind and body, I'd wait at least 6 months postpartum (my OB recommended). Also if you're BF'ing it may take some time for fertility to return. 

    DS2 (1 month old) is a great, easy going baby but I feel like I've been pregnant forever and want to spend a few months not pregnant or breastfeeding before we try for #3. DS1 is 18 months old, got pregnant while breastfeeding him and continued well into my second trimester. Now I've got another year of bf'ing ahead of me and it'll be nice to just have a damn margarita one day and not worry about it affecting anyone else lol 

    And just to add that all closely spaced pregnancies are not terrible! My second pregnancy was way easier than the first. Yes it sucked having morning sickness with a 9 month old, but I snuggled him in the bathroom floor and he had no idea what was going on lol The first 2 weeks with both of them were tough. But now things are great & I'm so excited to watch these sweet boys grow up together. 
  • I have to think there's some sort of hormonal component there cause I feel similarly!  Which is funny because I haaaated being pregnant and the first two weeks of postpartum recovery were really terrible, to the point that, at several points during pregnancy and the first two weeks after our daughter's birth I told my husband he may just have one child with me.  But... then just yesterday I was holding my LO and I really felt that desire for a second baby and was super excited to see what that baby would be like in comparison to my LO, and to see our daughter as a big sister.  It's funny how strongly I *felt* the urge.  

    However, we are definitely sticking to our original plan of waiting 2-3 years and then deciding if we still feel that way and, if so, starting to try then.  We simply cannot afford two kids in day care at the same time, living in Los Angeles where rent and daycare prices are insane.  But I totally get the desire now that I have LO home with me and pregnancy and labor are just memories!  ;)
  • I get it- after my first I didn't think about it for a while but by the day I got home from the hospital with my second I couldn't wait to have another, although I didn't want to actually try right away, I just knew I wanted another one soon. DS is 4.5 and DD1 is 2 and now we have DD2. I will say I think my doctors will tell you to give your body at least 6 months to recover. Also, I agree this can be partly hormones so I wouldn't rush into anything! Make sure you're really ready.

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  • We're definitely not trying for another 3 years. I can't imagine having another baby. I actually felt a little sad thinking about how I'll eventually have to split my time between DS and his future younger sibling. I'm blaming those feelings on hormones lol. 
  • When I first read this the other day, I thought you were crazy. Today, though, I went for my 6-week follow-up, and thought about all the non-stress tests I took, and really started to miss feeling my LO moving around inside me.
    I still like her better on the outside, though.
    And we have no intention of having any more at all.
  • No. I don't feel like I'm ready for another baby for a couple years. I have very strongly missed months 8-9 of pregnancy. It was so amazing feeling her kick and move, get the hiccups and just bond. I love her on the outside and am just amazed at how beautiful she is. I can see where your coming from but it might be better to wait.
  • Ours are 8 years apart and I'm pretty sure he's our last. We have two boys and i would like
    to try for a girl but between finances and my mental health this time around I'm not sure I could do this again. We'll definitely wait until this baby is 2-3 to see how we feel.
    Vincent 1.1.16 & Daniel 11.6.07
    In Memory of Barbara <3 , beloved mother and grandmother
  • I've had that feeling but it doesn't stick. I loved being pregnant, delivery was magical it seemed, and I am loving every minute of motherhood right now. I think since things are going so well I my mind tricks me into thinking I want to have another to keep on experiencing each stage. Of course, my mind knows now is not the time. I am so attached to my lil man that I don't want to have to share my attention yet. I even can see the benefits of him being an only child. I probably will wait until he is more independent anddoesnt need as much of me before seriously considering number 2..I'm thinking around 3 or 4 years. I suppose we shall see. I guess the point was that it is a feeling I have...just one that I rationalize away...:)
  • I will add that if I were able to be a stay at home mom I would maybe consider number 2 much sooner (still not now though) as I would have a whole lot more time everyday. I go back to work very soon and couldn't imagine sharing the time I will have with two babies, I am afraid I'd miss too much from both of their lives and not enjoy the young stage.
  • I understand OP.. 
    SO and I have had this convo already. He claims he doesn't want another but then he will say "well maybe in 5-10 years" 
    I definately don't want another right now- financially,emotionally, mentally, or physically.. 
    I want to wait 2-5 years for another. 
    I think I wasn't totally ready this time around and I wasn't 100% prepared and I'm so out of my league I feel like I'm drowning sometimes. 
    I know if I have another baby right now, it probably wouldn't work out in my favor.... 
    For the time being I will enjoy my son :) 
  • 2winterbabies2winterbabies member
    edited March 2016
    Well I had my baby girl on Jan 3rd 6 hours before her actual due date. Labor was rough but worth every ounce of pain. She will be 2 months old here on March 3rd I keep getting an overwhelming urge to want another baby already this has been happening since her birth. Some days I just want to wait and enjoy our time with her first and some days I want to go through it all over again for another baby. We had two previous miscarriages before we got her so maybe it's just that I'm so happy and blessed I can't wait to experience it again. Anyone else like this?
    Yes! I have this deep urge to want to have another child, but my DH is absolutely 100% not on board. Two is enough for him and he does not want another. I had to walk away and cry in a different room because I was so torn. We have 1 boy and 1 girl -- we wanted 1 of each sex and got lucky. We only wanted 2 kids. After DD was born I just felt so much like Supermom -- able to handle my DS who is potty training and an infant all at the same time. I was happy to nurse her at all hours of the morning. I happily co-slept with her. I am in love with my DD but I know deep in my heart now is not the time anyway. I wanted another child in 4 years because I believe that is a good age. DS will be in kindergarten, DD in preschool, and that way I will have time to bond with my new LO. Right now, it is difficult for me because I feel DS does not get as much attention as he used to, but he is handling it okay. 

    My OB had to prescribe me anti-depressants and anxiety meds because I do feel great sadness about DD being possibly my last child. I had so much fun in this pregnancy even though it was so much harder than DS' pregnancy. I want to be able to fully enjoy pregnancy one last time. I broke down in front of my OB about it. Just time flies by so fast.
    DD#1 born 12/30/2015
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    DS#1 born 02/19/2013
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  • mrsncmrsnc member
    I'm not yet wanting another but understand the desire for this stage to end. I have thought to myself that I could just keep having kids to get to experience all the amazing changes with pregnancy and LO. Families with 5+ kids don't seem so crazy anymore. Realistically though we will only have 1-2 more a few years down the road. I'm definitely going to enjoy all the stages and know that I'll experience them again. 
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