Baby Showers


BrandyCM22BrandyCM22 member
edited February 2016 in Baby Showers
I have deleted this post. 

Re: Delete

  • I'm sorry to hear about your situation, but unfortunately if no one offers to throw you a shower, you don't get one. it's a gift, not a right. some women think they can/should throw it themselves, but it's seen as extremely tacky & rude.
  • I don't see anything wrong with a family dinner.  Just don't say anything about the baby beforehand.  I know your families don't get along, but they will have to be together at some point right ? Unless you plan on having two separate birthday parties every year.
  • Loading the player...
  • And if anyone asks about a shower just tell them the truth, no one has said anything to you about having one.  Who knows, maybe you will get a work shower.
  • Congratulations on your pregnancy!

    You definitely not alone in your situation and you are NOT a loser because no one has offered to throw you a shower. Lots of people don't have friends or family nearby to throw a shower for them but that doesn't mean you should throw one for yourself. If your MIL asks about your shower simply say "I don't think I'm having one because no one has offered". Simple as that! Perhaps your MIL should step up and offer but that is neither here nor there.

    You really shouldn't have a party/dinner/gathering with the intention of it being a celebration of your pregnancy because that is just a shower in disguise. By all means, have a dinner, but don't mention your pregnancy or the baby.

    I'm sure you have the best of intentions but ANYTHING you throw for yourself will just come off as tacky. Don't be let down. Brush this off and move on.

  • I get it that the idea of a shower is exciting and it seems to the "norm".  But as stated - it's not a right and it also isn't required.  It's a "nice to have".  If there is no one to host (or who to INVITE?), then there is no shower.

    As far as  your friend who is dealing with IF... really try to be more empathetic to her situation.  You have something she doesn't and may never have.  Having gone through IF myself - at my darkest time, even GOING to a baby shower was incredibly, incredibly difficult.  The idea of THROWING a shower?  Yeah... right.

    The fact is - people going through a hard time need support and understanding more so than someone who is going through something good.

    And she may be happy for you - but that doesn't mean that it's easy to be around you, see your growing belly, and have to listen to baby talk.  Give her the distance she clearly needs right now.  Respect that. Hopefully she'll reach out to you at some point.  But she can show support for you in ways that don't involve baby showers.
  • I'm sorry you are feeling let down, and you aren't a loser! But really, you shouldn't focus so much on what other people might think. I know, easier said than done. I never had a bridal shower. A couple people asked me if I was having one, and I just said the truth - nope, not having one. It never went beyond that. It's no one's business.

    Maybe someone will still offer to throw you one. But if not, you and baby will be just fine. 
  • Thanks ladies:)
  • I understand your feelings, but I wouldn't sweat it. You're still early along, right?, and you never know what might happen. But if you start planning your own "get-together," then that will all but guarantee nobody is going to step up to the plate and organize one for you. With my first, I was in a similar stuation, and then- surprise, suprise- my mom's friends, one of whom had watched me grow up, ended up throwing me a shower, and even more surprisingly, a few of my girlfrends came into town just for the occasion. It was small and sweet, and way better than having planned my own.
  • As someone who went through IF, it seems like you need to be more supportive and understanding of your friend.  When friends announced their pregnancies, I distanced myself because it hurt so much.  I was happy for them but so sad for myself.  It's the hardest thing I've ever went through.   I will say that I talked to the few friends that asked me how I was doing and talked about more than just pregnancy and babies.  Are you that friend to her?  

    As for the shower, it is still early for people to offer to throw a shower.  And if they don't, don't host it yourself.  It's tacky and cheaper to just buy what you need.
    Dx: Me- Empty Sella Syndrome, Dh-None
    Clomid 50-100mg BFNs
    Clomid 150mg 2 follicles, BFP 7/4/15, EDD 3/12/16, CP 7/7/15
    Clomid 150mg, 2 follicles, IUI BFN
    Natural Cycle, BFP 12/28/15, EDD 9/3/16

  • Lighten up on your friend going through fertility issues. I went through fertility treatments and miscarriages and it was one of the hardest times in my life. I'm sure she is happy for you, but it's probably tough to be around someone who is pregnant, beaming about it, etc. Hell, I wouldn't even go to kids birthday parties, much less think about hosting a shower for a friend.

    Anyway, as others have said, just play it by ear. If your mom or MIL ask when the shower is, just be honest and tell them no one has offered. If no one offers and you still want a party, do a sip and see. 
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards