Please help me beautiful ladies, REALLY struggling with others' having babies...

Lovefor5inID

I hate what has come over me...we lost our son at 27 weeks, we tried for over a year to get pregnant. We found out a family member was pregnant with her umphteenth baby, and it seems as if everyone in the family is happy for her and have completely forgotten what happened to us.  I am REALLY trying not to be self-centered, I hate the thoughts I am thinking...I am not this person...how have you dealt with this?  It's so unfair how some people lose their angels and others' who can't handle the kids they have and love the attention, get to keep theirs...please help? I hate how I am right now-she is due soon and is basking in all of the attention...help please...I am growing angry and bitter...I don't want to...

msunshine123

All your feelings are normal - you miss your baby. It is so unfair! Be patient with yourself and give yourself any space you need. I had a close family member have a baby shortly after we lost our son - not planned,... It just hurts. Hugs to you!

Lovefor5inID

Thank you darling...I feel like a tool...it's like I am watching myself in a movie...not able to change how I feel/what I think even though I want to...

MamaBish

It's completely normal. I've definitely been there. All you can do is try to protect yourself from dealing with it as best you can. I tend to hide people on FB if they are pg or have a baby. I even defriended a college acquaintance because she had her baby on my EDD. 

Lovefor5inID

MamaBish-you are so right! I try to stay off of facebook but need it to keep up with out-of-state relatives...I just hid posts, that will help...I don't want to steal any joy from anyone  but I would think it's common sense to NOT expect someone to be happy for your healthy baby when they lost their own...So one-sided...I have the mentality, "I will share in your happiness if you will share in my sadness...no, you don't want to be sad for me you say? Then don't expect me to be happy for you"  I wouldn't go up to a new widow and exclaim and gush about my wedding and husband...I don't get it...

Lovefor5inID

Thank goodness for the non-judgemental saintly women on here..

msunshine123

I avoided baby showers - just sent gift cards. I also avoided going to the hospital when my family member had the baby. I stopped at their home after the delivery for a quick visit. Do whatever helps you and you are comfortable. There is no right or wrong in this process.
 People just don't think - they can't even begin to imagine the pain of loosing a child which is why they do and say dumb things. 
Thinking of you - ((hugs)).

Lovefor5inID

Thank you msunshine123...well said..I really appreciate it...it's nice to know I am not the only one struggling with this...bless you all!