STM+ plans for older siblings?

brie_and_almonds

What are your plans for older siblings while you are in the hospital? How much do you plan for them be at the hospital? (If they will be there a lot, any plans for entertaining them?) Will you give them a big sibling gift from the baby? Have them give baby a gift? Anything else special planned?

Goldsgirl9

We have been discussing this at home. Our plan, thus far, is to have my mom or MIL at home with DS for the first 24 hours. Once I am able to get up and shower (RCS), DH will head home to go get DS. I am going to have DS#2 in the nursery and will have the nurses bring him in after DS#1 is there. He will meet him, receive a gift from his new little brother and then I will send DS#2 back to the nursery before DS#1 leaves. I don't want him to think we are spending every waking hour with the new bay while he is at home without us. More than likely DH will stay with me at the hospital but will go home now and again to spend some time with DS#1.

Of course this is all in theory and not sure how it will play out but this is the current plan we have in place.  

[Deleted User]

We are fortunate enough that one of my sisters lives with us during the week (stays at her bf's on the weekends) and we are only about ten minutes from the hospital so DH will prob go home at night if my sister can't be home or he'd rather be home.  It's funny w/ DD1 I was all hell no you are staying with me, but now I'd almost rather him be home and well rested instead of sleeping on a crappy hospital chair/bed.

I will have DD1 come to the hospital prob the next day as we have a Fresh 48 session with a photographer where she will capture DD1 meeting DD2 for the first time.  Being a photographer myself, I figure I can do a newborn shoot with DD1/2/DH at home, so I'd rather capture this moment and be involved in it instead of behind the camera.  I'm not sure how much time she will spend at the hospital, esp as we pay for preschool so I'd kinda rather her be there and to keep her routine going.  Her world is going to 180, so anything that can remain constant will be a plus in my eyes.

We will be getting her something - maybe not from DD2 - as I kinda feel like that's weird... like Baby Sister came out with presents?  But something from Dad and I as a promotion type of gift I think is better.  We will have her gift DD2 something - I've already gotten a nice book (Welcome Little One) which I would like her to "read" to Baby Sister for photos - and we'll prob have her get her a stuffed animal or something DD2 can have all the time.

imrachellea

Our neighbor, who is like family, will be taking her. We just talked with them a couple days ago about all the different scenarios we may encounter. They live directly across the street so there isn't even a need to pack a bag for her, thank goodness. If I go into labor middle of the night, I will call her and she'll just come over to our house so DD doesn't need to be woken up. If I go into labor when we're home on a weekend, we'll take DD over to her but she'll probably still sleep at our house (or in the guest room at their house, in which case we'd just take the bed rail from her big girl bed over). If my water breaks early (as in, before March 11th...!) and I am at work, they are already her emergency contacts with pick up permission at her daycare so DH would just drop her car seat off at her school on his way to get me at work. Our neighbors are the only people who babysit her (aside from when grandparents are in town), so they know her schedule and habits just fine, so no need to prep or give any specifics on what to do with her. In any case, we're showing them this weekend how to put both our carseats into their truck so they can bring her to the hospital when the baby is here.

As far as at the hospital, we plan to have her come as soon as possible once I'm out of the labor rooms and into the mother/baby unit. I read a couple tips yesterday on introducing an older sibling to a new baby. One was to not have the new baby in my arms when she comes in the room, because she's been away from me missing me and will want to be in my arms and might feel animosity towards the baby if she's already in my arms, so she'll be in the bassinet when DD comes in the room. Also, rather than say "this is your new baby sister, isn't she cute?", introducing your younger to your older, switch it around and introduce your older to the younger, since they were first. Talk them up a bit to the baby. And yes, I'll be doing gifts to/from the girls. I'll have DD1 help pick out a small stuffed animal to bring her sister at the hospital, and have something we'll take with us that will go to DD1 from DD2 when she comes (maybe a new book and shirt? Haven't decided yet).

Jules08

Last time I was induced and it was 26 hours, so we'll have to play it by ear this time as to where DS will be.  DS will go to day care and then after, hang out with our neighbors (his BFF) or my cousin (lives a block away) and then we'll have my parents come down (they live just over an hour away).  Ideally, I think we'll have DS come only after baby is here.

DS will get a Big Brother gift; likely a bag of small toys and activities, but honestly, give him a transformer rescue bot and he'll be entertained for hours.

spicedice

My MIL will watch DS while I'm at the hospital. He'll come visit after LO is born, but we won't have him at the hospital long. I don't expect a (then) 21 month old to be content at a place that he's not allowed to touch pretty much anything.

Poppy16

My oldest 3 kids are going to my SIL's house (who lives right next door), and youngest one is going to a friend's house (she has medical issues and she needs to be with someone who is able devote the time to care for her). I already have all their bags packed and ready to go. 

I've told each of the families to expect the kids to be with them for 2 days, longer if there are complications with birth or baby. I don't plan on them spending any significant amount of time at the hospital beyond a quick visit. I see this is my time to bond with our new baby. They'll get plenty of time when I get home from the hospital.

brit&nate2010

Mil or sil will take kids. Then after baby is born dh will go get them. He will also stay the night at home with them after baby and being the kids to visit and come get us when we are released. 

The kids visits will be short. They are 2 and 4. They will be getting a gift from new baby. A new book/stuffed animal from the khols care line, coloring stuff, stickers. Basically busy stuff for when they visit. 

Monicagail1

When DD2 was born my mom helped out a lot with DD1 (not quite 2yrs at that time). My parents brought her to the hospital the evening after delivery, and also took her on a few fun outings while I was in the hospital. I did have a small "big sister" gift for her as well. 

This time DD1 is in kindergarten and DD2 is in preschool. My plan right now is to keep them in their school routines as much as possible. I imagine they'll come visit at the hospital at least once. My oldest DD recently announced she plans to carry the baby out of the hospital

I also have some big sister shirts for them, and a matching baby sister onesie that they'll probably get a kick out of. 

And a pic just for fun

mrstrax

My ILs are going to come up at stay at our house with DD (hopefully just under 22 mo) so she'll get to keep some normality. My sister is on campus at the university in town, so she's our emergency "this baby is coming now" person, but ILs can be here in 45 minutes. They'll bring her to visit the first full morning/evening depending on when he comes, but probably not for very long since there really isn't any baby anticipation at her age. 
DH says he wants to spend pretty much the whole time in the hospital with us like he did with DD, so he gets that bonding time too, but we'll see if he chooses to go home at all once he's sleeping on the couch thing.  
For a big sister gift, we got DD a doll carrier similar to an Ergo/MT and may add a little Mickey Mouse (her Minnie goes everywhere she goes except the bath). Plus the big sister shirt with matching onesie for Brother. 

brie_and_almonds

My plan is for DH to be at home with DD at night, since he was virtually useless to me in the hospital anyway. I think we will also try to keep her in her daycare/preschool routine as much as possible since I think some kind of stability will be good for her (though we just found out one of her teachers is leaving, so hopefully the transition to a new caregiver goes smoothly). 

Both my sister and my MIL are ready to be "on call" caregivers for when we need to go in to the hospital. I wish I could plan things out more, but obviously things will be unpredictable. 

I know I want DD1 to come soon after DD2 is born provided it's not the middle of the night. I feel a little bit bad because I haven't been away from her very much and I don't want her to feel abandoned.

Great idea about not having baby in arms when older sibling arrives, I think I will definitely do that.

imrachellea

@mrstrax We also have a Mickey and Minnie that go everywhere...EVERYwhere...she originally only had Mickey, but we had to get a Minnie to go with him.

mrstrax

imrachellea said:

@mrstrax We also have a Mickey and Minnie that go everywhere...EVERYwhere...she originally only had Mickey, but we had to get a Minnie to go with him.

My mom thinks it's hilarious because my sister had a Minnie that was attached to her too.  

Sarcasm101

My mom will be staying with my son. I haven't decided if I want him to come to the hospital or not. He will be 20-21 months and I think the hospital might scare him/ not be fun for him. And its a long way from my house.

Right now, I think if Lo is born during the week, DS1 will not come to the hospital. I will have my mom keep him on his schedule of going to daycare since that is what he knows and likes. If Lo comes on the weekend, I think DS1 will end up coming to the hospital, only because my mom will want to come see the new baby.

I have decided if I am going to get DS1 a gift or not. I probably will get him a truck or something to play with (and keep him distracted) at the hospital

[Deleted User]

Ok so here's a question... if I get DD1 a big sister necklace - which I think would go over well and it would be something she would really like.  If it comes with a name or initial charm do I get her name or her little sisters name?  
something like this:

rebelone

I have to be at the hospital at 5:30 in the morning so my sister is going to come over before that until my 2 year old wakes up then she'll get her ready and come over later that morning and hand her off to my husband. Then my husband will stay at the hospital with our toddler for as long as he can and take her back and forth for naps and whatnot as needed. He'll be staying home at night with her. We'll do that until I get out with the baby. I don't mind staying at the hospital alone with the baby. That gives me plenty of time to do some one on one bonding as my husband stays home with the kids while I'm at work during the weekdays - he already gets his bonding in.

momofmanyinthemitten

My ILs live around the corner, so they're on call and will stay with the kids for however long we need them to. My mom will also come out when it's possible with her work schedule. DH stayed the first night at the hospital with #3, but I have a feeling he'll stay at home this time. The kids will come see the baby when we're all cleaned up (and hopefully have decided on a name). The last two were born past bed time, so they came up in the morning. We have baby give the kids a small gift and DD1 requested to give baby #3 a gift, so she'll probably ask to do the same with this one.

olivemomma

I want DH at the hospital with me when the baby is born but after that I would like him to turn his attention to dd. I think it's important to keep some regularity for her and not feel mommy and daddy are both spending all their time with the new baby. I would like him to bring her to the hospital for a quick visit and for both of them to pick us up to come home. We have a few backups on call for dd while I'm actually in labor at the hospital so it just depends on what day and time of day everything goes down. I don't want to be at the hospital the second things start so hopefully I can labor at home a few hours and get everything set up for dd for the remainder of the day/night. Dd will be getting some kind of gift from her baby brother at the hospital as well.

AnnikaD20

My brother and SIL live about a mile away, so they're going to watch the toddler while I'm giving birth. As long as they don't have flu restrictions in the hospital (they don't right now, but we'll need to check at the time), he'll be one of the first visitors.

My hospital has a policy that any kids under 14 have to have an adult supervising them, and if you have them there during the birth it has to be someone other than your SO or birth partner since they're going to be busy.

Ready4theParty

Dd will be staying with my ILs if I go into labor on my own and with my mom if I am induced.  My mom and DD are BFfs and we thought this would help ease the transition.
We are going to have DD come to the hospital as much as she wants, but most likely it will only be once or twice.  DH is going to stay over the first night and then stay at home on the second.  

Depending on when DD2 arrives we will have Dd and my mom come to the hospital to meet her.  We aren't going to accept any other visitors including ILS until DD1 meets her sister.

I wasnt a fan of big sibling gifts but after thinking about it, my mom can hold the baby and I can spend a little time with Dd opening her gifts so shw doesnt feEl lIke the aTrenton is onot on the new baby.  We didn't spend a fortune just got her a few surprise eggs which she will love.

The only other special thing I want done is to have pictures with DD holding her sister for the first time.

cortney626

My daughter is 8 and I'll have a RCS. So the plan is she'll stay at my mom's. They'll come to visit during the evening. My mom will take her to school. That should be just 2 nights. My daughter is fully aware of the plan. If I go into labor before my c section date, then we'll take her to my mom's on the way. She will get a big sister gift. She's been an only child for 8.5 years. She has been getting the baby stuff ever since she found out she was having a sister. 

Ellenlbishop

My plan is to have ILs come and watch DD regardless of when I go into labor.  They wanted to camp out at the hospital the whole time like last time but I think that's pointless.  They won't be allowed in room while I'm in labor so there is no point sitting there.  They will bring DD to visit shortly after I deliver and I'm ready to receive visitors.  If I give birth in the middle of the night I assume that everyone will come and visit next morning.  Someone needs to watch our dogs too do I assume ILs will stay at our house.

i think I'll do the gift thing but it won't be from DS specifically since conceptionally I think it's too hard for her to understand at 23 months.  

pinottoparenthood

dayzchic9 said:

Ok so here's a question... if I get DD1 a big sister necklace - which I think would go over well and it would be something she would really like.  If it comes with a name or initial charm do I get her name or her little sisters name?  
something like this:

I would put big sister's name, since it's HER necklace. I'm sure she would love that; what a cute idea!

pinottoparenthood

I'm glad you posted this because I'm a little worried about it! Since our house closes on March 31st, I will already be staying with my parents when I have the baby, so that part is easy/a no-brainer... they will keep my son. However, I am really worried about him coming to the hospital. He is SUCH a mama's boy and very shy/clingy... I feel like its' going to be REALLY hard on him for me to be gone, then for him to come see me for just a little while and then have to leave without me again. I am going to miss him so much, but I might wait for him to come to the hospital until the day I"m getting discharged so that we can leave together as a family. I know this is going o be a HUGE adjustment for him, and I don't want him to be any more traumatized than necessary.

(PS, I know he's totally spoiled haha)

sprocketsngadgets

We have no family close by, so one of our friends (they have all offered to be on call for us) will deal with DD1 while I'm delivering. That either means getting her to/from daycare or taking her for the day. Once I'm in recovery (and depending on the time) DH will go get DD1 and head home with her for the night. He'll come with DD1 the next day to meet her sister. 

I'm pretty sure it's going to be super hard on DD1 since she's still so young and probably has no clue what's going on. Hopefully I'm only in the hospital for the standard two days instead of five like last time. 

xilovemybabiesx

I am freaking out about this. We don't really have a plan. I feel like there are so many different scenarios that it is hard to figure out what we should do and what the plans should be! I have 2 sil's who live close by so I might have them on call for when I go in labor, but idk if they are willing to stay at my house with my son and dog if I he needs to spend the night. If I have him during the morning or day my parents will have him sleep over with them and im thinking as long as my dad is around he will watch him while my mom and sister come up to the hospital when baby comes. It all depends on how it goes down for us. 

littleredx2

My hope is for labor and delivery to happen while the boys are at daycare. I lucked out with #3 and that happened perfectly so it's be great to have it again. If not, some of my family will likely stay home with my boys until we get close and then come up to the hospital with them. If all goes the way I hope it does though and baby is born while the boys are at daycare. DH will pick them up as normal, likely grab some dinner, and then bring them by for a short visit. They don't do well in the hospital environment or seeing me there so I like to keep it relatively short. Our emergency plan should I go into labor overnight (I have quick deliveries) is that either our neighbors or DH's BFF will come over to stay with the boys until family can get there. All of my family is about 45 to an hour away.

My mom will be staying at my house overnight with them during my hospital stay. We like to keep their routine as normal as possible though so DH and my mom will tag team their care plus me/baby. DH will spend his days at the hospital with me but will leave to pick the boys up each afternoon around 5. He will take them home, do dinner, baths, bedtime routine and then once they are asleep, my mom will leave the hospital to take over for him and he will come back to spend the night with me/baby. My mom will text once the boys wake up each morning and DH will leave to get them off the daycare and grab me breakfast.

It has worked great in the past so I'm hoping for the same this go around. The boys will likely only visit us the one time at the hospital.