GTKY: Dealing with AF

DinosaurJumper

This is just an idea I got for an exercise/game that I would like to practice more myself. With TTC, the TTW is stressful and when AF rears her ugly head, it is devastating. I feel like we all have been dealt so much negativity, and that it is up to us to brighten it up with some positive thinking! So here's the 'game', three questions for everybody on how to try to be positive when the test is negative. Alright here we go!

1. What is something that you have put on hold due to TTC, and can you change that?

2. What is a goal you might have for when/if AF shows up?

3. How do you celebrate your AF? How do you celebrate your body functioning normally or returning to normal?


These are my answers:

1. I have put off getting fit for a long time. I am not over weight, or unhealthy, but I would like to be strong and have good endurance one day! Lately I have taken up yoga and running, and I plan to stick with it!

2. This month I plan on buying one of those Thinx period panties! If you haven't heard about them, they are supposed to be the newest thing for staying clean and dry during AF. No more red stains!!!

3. I like to celebrate not being pregnant with a nice bowl of pot, and getting wrapped up in Fantasia.

Your Turn!

MamaCoffin

1. What is something that you have put on hold due to TTC, and can you change that?

I haven't really put anything on hold, but one more month of not being pregnant means one more month I can go get tattooed if I so desire! ;-)

2. What is a goal you might have for when/if AF shows up?

No goal really. I've been thinking about this one for a few minutes and I've got nothing. 

3. How do you celebrate your AF? How do you celebrate your body functioning normally or returning to normal?

I'm not really celebrating AF herself.... But the fact that she came almost a week early means I still have a shot at a November baby if we get lucky this cycle! Silver lining?

MamaCoffin

Ps pass the bowl!

GhanimaAtreides

1. What is something that you have put on hold due to TTC, and can you change that?

Nada really. I'm one of those weirdos who pretty much do all the same things KU as I do at other times, barring really obvious stuff. I still eat sushi from trusted places, I still jog, lift heavy things, etc. 

2. What is a goal you might have for when/if AF shows up?

I like to use AF for mini KonMarie declutterthons and purge a bunch of stuff around the house. Clean uterus, clean house.

3. How do you celebrate your AF? How do you celebrate your body functioning normally or returning to normal?

I relax a bit and lay off the Bump-binging that always manifests around O (yeah hi, my name is Ghanima and I'm a bump addict around my FW) and test-time. I buy myself flowers sometimes. I buy a new book or go see a movie H would never watch. Sometimes I'll even book a painting class.  

The one thing I most happy about now is that I gave up alcohol mid-November because I cut sugar, so it's no longer tied emotionally to TTC. 

RiverSong15

1. Getting fit. I need to lose weight and exercise more, but between work craziness and TTC, it's been hard to prioritize. I want to do that next cycle (looking likely anyway), as that will ultimately help with TTC anyway.

2. Nothing really. My goal is to NOT eat all the chocolate things I guess.

3. If AF shows up this weekend, we are going to go to my favorite sushi restaurant and I'm going to drink all the beer and wine. We'll also probably go skiing. 

ETA: I basically welcome AF by doing all the things I couldn't do if I were pregnant. 

DinosaurJumper

GhanimaAtreides said:
I like to use AF for mini KonMarie declutterthons and purge a bunch of stuff around the house. Clean uterus, clean house.
I LOVE that!

roper2617

First off, I really like this! Nowfor my answers.

1.Getting married! DH (although technically DF? Lol) and I have been engaged for 1 yr, in a relationship did 6 years total. Anyways, we put off getting married because I didn't want to wedding dress shop while pregnant. Then we finally said eff-it and set a date. Then we conceived (like the day we agreed on a date), and would've had a 4 month old on our wedding day so we decided to hold off yet again. And now here we are. It is absolutely something I can change. Maybe if we set a new date we will conceive again?

2. I've mostly cut out alcohol, but this time if she comes for a visit I'm going to pop a bottle of wine, curl up on the couch and watch Breakfast at Tiffanys and Dirty Dancing. And eat all the food. Poutine, chocolate, chocolate covered Poutine (not really, but you get the point). 

3. I've literally not thought of celebrating my AF since I was young and wild(haha). It's always been more of a "better luck next time" thing. I'm going to make a point to view it more positively, I like the idea of celebrating a normal functioning body. Maybe I'll get a massage! Or a mani/pedi, or all three! 

BornReady

1. What is something that you have put on hold due to TTC, and can you change that?
    I am a huge slacker on buying myself clothing. I hate all of my work clothes at the moment, and am in desperate need. I scheduled a stitch fix today and plan to focus on buying some quality pieces soon.

2. What is a goal you might have for when/if AF shows up?
 I am on a constant quest to make my house feel more like our home. Finishing decorating, getting all of our art on the walls and investing in this being the place we are settled into. 

3. How do you celebrate your AF? How do you celebrate your body functioning normally or returning to normal?
I'm not sure I ever have, or at least lately. I was happy for my first AF after MC, but the cycles since have really impacted me negatively emotionally. I try to go into each cycle realistic, but mentally get invested in pregnancy, so I'm pretty disappointed when it happens. This month I will focus on the gratitude and the things I do have in my life that are wonderful.

catiecatp

1. I've done a lot of things and put TTC on hold - but right now I don't think I've got much on hold - I suppose in a sense I'm refusing to put applying for jobs on hold because of TTC. I'm applying for jobs in the US (as well as citizenship - dad was American, I think I am American but I need to collect a LOT of documents and do some paperwork - luckily there is a consulate in the city so it should be "easy" to apply). It freaks me out to think of not living in Canada - health care and gun laws and ... well I'm sure the Canadian media skews things but it is my main source of information. And then there is the issue of what if I'm pregnant while interviewing - and how many months do I have to work to keep benefits on mat leave and how long will mat leave be - but without a job offer AND no BFP there is no point in worrying too much about that

2. goals? well AF is here - maybe next time I'll eat less chocolate? I'll keep an eye on your ideas

3. celebrate AF? I like the idea of a pedicure, but my BF is really tight on money and I'd like to go with someone... I'll keep an eye on your ideas and see if I can pick something up here too.

mylittleversailles

Yahoo, I love positivity surrounding menstruation (And all other aspects of life. I feel I'd be dead without it). I once read a book I fear I cannot name here (It's called that particularly harsh C-word and nothing more) that was a little hippy-dippy but full of good suggestions for celebrating AF. 

1. What is something that you have put on hold due to TTC, and can you change that? No, I haven't put anything on hold, really. I cut all my second cup of coffee in the afternoon, but I don't miss it at all and I slept better (before the loss now I can't sleep for shit lololol).My husband takes one toke on his pipe every night and he's put that on hold, so that'll be nice for him. 

2. What is a goal you might have for when/if AF shows up? My goal is to make there. I've been bleeding for 27 days since I took misoprostol and my uterus is apparently clear, but I'm still spotting so I'm really, really looking forward to my period. 

3. How do you celebrate your AF? How do you celebrate your body functioning normally or returning to normal? Damn, now I really want to throw a party the day she shows. I'll curl up with the hot water bottle, drink an extra litre of raspberry leaf tea and watch Gilmore Girls, more likely though.

fivetimesnoluck

Love this idea!

1. What is something that you have put on hold due to TTC, and can you change that?
I quit drinking when we were heavy into the process, but since we are benched for two more cycles, I have enjoyed imbibing a bit more often. I plan to abstain 100% again starting after next AF. I had also put my yoga practice on hold (power yoga is in a 95 degree room), but am back at it for now too. (I know lots of people who can and do yoga throughout their pregnancy, but it was not worth it to me to take the slightest risk after the number of losses we have had.)

2. What is a goal you might have for when/if AF shows up?
I am in the minority on this board because I am not TTC this cycle, so I expect AF. (We are getting close and I found the level of activity here to be more frequent and interactive than the MC board.) Like so many of you, AF has been more intense and painful since my losses, so my goals are small: don't ruin my undies, keep the chocolate consumption under control, and try to be grateful that I do have a pretty regular cycle (even if my eggs are likely crap).

3. How do you celebrate your AF? How do you celebrate your body functioning normally or returning to normal?
I have never celebrated it, per se. It's actually an interesting concept to me. I will try to be more mindful of the fact that it is something for which I should be grateful.
This is random, but just came to mind - and reminds me that I can and should celebrate AF because I have all the things I need to manage it. I am a Rotarian and one of the things I have been reminded of through Rotary International is the basic accommodations that we take for granted. There are multiple efforts to help develop basic bathrooms at schools in India and several countries in Africa. Reason being, that when girls reach puberty and begin menstruation, they often quit school because there are no adequate facilities. This inconvenience is a significant contributor to the lack of educated women in developing countries. Kinda blows your mind, no?

DinosaurJumper

babyroper16 said:

First off, I really like this! Nowfor my answers.

1.Getting married! DH (although technically DF? Lol) and I have been engaged for 1 yr, in a relationship did 6 years total. Anyways, we put off getting married because I didn't want to wedding dress shop while pregnant. Then we finally said eff-it and set a date. Then we conceived (like the day we agreed on a date), and would've had a 4 month old on our wedding day so we decided to hold off yet again. And now here we are. It is absolutely something I can change. Maybe if we set a new date we will conceive again?

Sounds like a good plan to trick Mother Nature  

DinosaurJumper

@fivetimesnoluck that is such a great way to think of it! I remember Always did a marketing campaign and created a charity to supply pads and what not to girls in third world countries. We are so lucky to be able, or mostly able, to go out and do stuff and work while AF visits!

zrain

1. What is something that you have put on hold due to TTC, and can you change that?
I stopped taking a beta blocker for my fast heart rate because it's a category D medication. I get exhausted doing any amount of exercise (or when I get really excited!). I could potentially take it up until I ovulate, but I don't want to risk any residual amounts being in my system when I do get pregnant. Instead I just wear a heart rate monitor at work and during exercise and try to take it slow. It doesn't bother me too much.

2. What is a goal you might have for when/if AF shows up?
My goal is to not be too disappointed, and I'll try to be glad that I'll (hopefully) have constructed my first ovulatory chart on FF and finally be able to see how long my LP is.

3. How do you celebrate your AF? How do you celebrate your body functioning normally or returning to normal?
Back before my MC I had stupid anovulatory cycles that lasted 2 weeks so I felt like I was bleeding aaaalllll the tiiiimmme. I got DH to agree that we could go out for sushi every time AF came around. We ate a ton of sushi. I'm going to reinstate this tradition until I get pregnant again

dpjennifer

1. What is something that you have put on hold due to TTC, and can you change that?  
I made a big decision recently not to roller skate competitively this year.  So, I'm putting that on hold.  However, I am still skating and 'training' for next year, being less cautious and more aggressive during the WTO part of my cycle, and more cautious during the TWW.  I probably won't skate at all if/when I get BFP.

2. What is a goal you might have for when/if AF shows up?  I have no goals for this, although I love the "Clean Uterus, Clean House" idea and the trying not to eat all the chocolate things.  

3. How do you celebrate your AF? How do you celebrate your body functioning normally or returning to normal?  I don't really celebrate AF.  But since we're TTC, when AF shows up I think of it is another month where I can try to prepare and get as healthy as possible before BFP, and another few weeks where I can drink a glass of wine here or there if I want to, etc.

fivetimesnoluck

@dpjennifer do you do Roller Derby?? 

cooaladolly

So many great plans / ideas!

1. What is something that you have put on hold due to TTC, and can you change that?

Larger household remodeling projects and a solid fitness plan, though I had been doing daily walks before the loss. I really had put them on hold due to the all thought and action consuming need I felt to concentrate on pregnancy and I let that carry over into the TTC arena, as opposed to not being able or allowed to physically do them. TTC after loss it's been the doldrums (I like using that term because the imagery of having no wind in your sails fits well for me) keeping me low in the energy department. I've noticed some talk of yoga and meditation on this board and I thought I should give it a try as I think both could do wonders for my mental state as well as a fitter body for TTC. I actually have a very good yoga studio not five miles from me and thought what the hell, so I plan to go as a walk-in on Monday.

2. What is a goal you might have for when/if AF shows up?

Technically this goal is for after AF, but I've never temped due to being pretty damn regular ever since being on and then going off BC. Now I want to be able to actually know better what my body is doing and when I ovulate for sure. Buying a BBT thermometer tonight! For during, I have to say I also love @GhanimaAtreides's plan of 'Clean uterus, clean house' (and I think my fiance will love that one too, lol )

3. How do you celebrate your AF? How do you celebrate your body functioning normally or returning to normal?

Well, I've definitely never celebrated it in the past, lol! But since this will be my first AF after loss I have to say for once I am looking forward to it. I think I plan to celebrate by having 'me' time. I plan to celebrate the fact that I actually am still able to conceive and that I haven't hit pre-menopause yet, lol. I love PP's idea of having an all out sushi night and I think I may just have to steal that idea, I haven't had any in so long!

PS - I echo @fivetimesnoluck's question for @dpjennifer if by professional skating you mean roller derby? I used to play myself several years ago and miss it a lot!

ETA - ok this is weird, apparently my laptop and mobile don't line up. On mobile my name is cooaladoll and on here I'm a Knottie... on mobile I can't change the profile pic, but on the laptop apparently it is updated. Ugh, sorry for any confusion! EATA - well, name is fixed at least.

dpjennifer

@fivetimesnoluck no, I do artistic roller skating... dance and figures.  I've thought about roller derby since I love to skate fast, but I also bruise easily and with TTC, probably not a good time to join!

mylittleversailles

I totally made a cake to celebrate the arrival of AF (not really, I made a cake for a friend celebrating two years sober but he cancelled so).

catiecatp

@reneeannemm - that is an awesome cake!