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September 2016 Moms
TheTamedShrew
member
Dear Diary...
TheTamedShrew
member
I always thought these threads were fun on my old BMB.
Dear February,
why is it that you are the shortest month, but you feel 6 months long? We get it, it's cold and miserable and dead outside. Please go away and make room for spring so I can come back to life.
Sincerely,
my seasonal blues
Dear February,
why is it that you are the shortest month, but you feel 6 months long? We get it, it's cold and miserable and dead outside. Please go away and make room for spring so I can come back to life.
Sincerely,
my seasonal blues
Re: Dear Diary...
I just finished my lunch. And I really wish I had more lunch to eat.
With Love,
My not quite full stomach
Please go clean yourself. I mean how does you get this bad every week? It's ridiculous, you need to shape up! All I'm asking is that you try to be a little tidier. I can't keep up.
Your Resident
Dear Kids,
Who I am kidding.. We know you're the real culprits here. Pleasee pick up your toys and don't insist on dumping out every toy bin at the same time and then screaming like banshees until nap time. It's a good thing you're so cute.
Your Mama
Dear Diary,
Why do my skinny jeans still fit but my business suits don't? I have maternity jeans. I don't have maternity suits.
Love,
A lawyer wishing I could wear yoga pants to court
I thought having a potty trained toddler would make morning sickness easier since I'm not dealing with diapers... I was wrong. Who would have thought that the child peeing in the toilet would induce vomiting every time.
Sincerely,
My Over-Reactive Gag Reflex...
I just bought a snoogle today and am super excited. Here's to hoping it really helps my back pain! Who knew I'd be busting out a preggo pillow at 10 weeks.
From,
The lady in pain
Please find some energy so I can function and so people will stop telling me I look tired! Don't you realize I have a job to do, house to keep clean and kids to chase after!?
Why couldn't I have been super tired with my first pregnancy so I could've slept whenever I wanted!?
Sincercely,
One tired Mama
Why must Midwest weather be so fing crazy?!? 75 on Sat and now they are calling for 3 in of snow on Wed! You're such a tease!
Love,
A girl who is ready for summer and camping
Dear Diary,
Why is it that when I want my son to sleep at midnight, 3am, 5am he refuses but when it's gorgeous and sunny outside he takes an extra long nap? And what is with my extreme craving of cinnamon rolls and chicken wings?? And why doesn't Netflix have the first half of season 6 TWD? What, i'm supposed to pay $1.99 an episode till I'm caught up? Putain de merde...
Sincerely,
Bitchy & pregnant
Will you ever go back to normal? And tell the "girls" it's time to grow.
Sincerely,
The one who electively supports you. (I could leave you dangling like a couple of pillow cases in the wind... Keep that in mind).
Put. Down. The chocolate covered popcorn. PUT. IT. DOWN.
Sincerely,
You're not quite so big yet behind so long as you PUT IT DOWN
Those two soft pretzels with sweet mustard were so amazing I want to relive the moment they entered my mouth and made my taste buds dance. Brb, gotta go puke them up.
Please calm it down with the feels. I would like to make it one day without crying at a commercial. Or article. Or picture. Or whatever else little thing might set off the water works.
Sincerely,
A Previously Unemotional Woman
Get your shit together.
-Annoyed
I received many pitiful glances when I was eating alone at McDonalds today and then again when I ran into a gas station with my pants already unbuttoned to pee only 6 miles away from home.
Ps. I am having chinese for dinner and I hope no one holds me accountable for what I posted in the weekly goals thread this morning.
Sincerey,
My lack of self control
Dear DS & DD,
Why do you think that I need to feed you every night? Didn't you just eat last night? You're awfully needy....
Love,
Your mom...who wants to pass out by 5:00 (even if you don't go to bed until 7...)
Am I trying to get my car stolen? Yesterday I drove to Starbucks to get a decaf and a breakfast sandwich. After getting my order and while walking back to my car I realized that I had left the keys in the ignition and the car was still running!!!! Yes, I know...this was just one day after leaving the keys in the backseat for several hours.
Love,
Space Cadet
Why didn't anyone warn me that pregnancy hormones would make me slowly grow a goatee? It grows so quickly that I'm going to wake up one morning and look like AJ from the Backstreet Boys.
Love,
chickendancefever
Clomid 150mg 2 follicles, BFP 7/4/15, EDD 3/12/16, CP 7/7/15
Clomid 150mg, 2 follicles, IUI BFN
Natural Cycle, BFP 12/28/15, EDD 9/3/16
Im so happy I got so many compliments on my new sweater today... what I'm not so happy about is my blump poking through so much by the end of the day that I might as well have been wearing an "I'm Pregnant" sign around my neck. Oh, and if I could walk home from the train at a little faster than a snails pace, that would be great.
Sincerely,
bloated and exhausted
No, you cannot sue the recess aide for confiscating your cell phone. It is not a violation of your rights, and you really will survive until 2:35 without said phone.
--Substitute teacher desperately trying not to laugh.
Darling husband,
You already ate my last cake pop. If you touch my Thin Mints, I WILL CUT YOU.
Lovingly,
Your nauseated pregnant wife who can't eat said cookies anyway, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN.
I finally hit a point two weeks ago ,whhere my "all day" sickness turned into just regular morning sickness....but since then I have gotten the flu, an ear infection, viral pink eye, and now a very painful sinus infection. Please let me wake up feeling half way human and not looking like a character from the walking dead, please allow me to breath through my nose again so I don't wake up feeling like I ate a bowl of sand, and to my kids telling snoring was waking up even the dog. This ms is tired of being "sick and tired" please take away the sick, and leave the tired if you must, but the sinus infection has got to go. I mean take a hike, hit the road, jump off a cliff....I don't care what you do MR.sinus infection, just be gone, and don't ever return.
Love,
The walking germ
Please contain your Lego or I will be forced to superglue it all together. My feet are tired of stepping on the tiniest piece on the kitchen floor, and the toddler is trying to eat it.
Sincerely,
Lord Business (Lego movie reference haha)
I have only gained five pounds and have the cutest six month bump, the only problem is that I'm only nine weeks....
Best,
No, I'm not that far along
Sometimes when I watch my 600lb life I am jealous at the amazing plates of food that these people are putting down. My biggest complaint is when delicious food ends, I just want it to keep coming. I would, though, rather not weigh 600lbs.
Sincerely,
Always hungry, never satisfied
I didn't get a linea nigra last pregnancy. But the belly hair was embarrassingly ridiculous.
Dear Diary,
My coworker put a big chocolate cake with frosting in the break room this morning. I want to give her a huge, inappropriate-for-the-office hug.
Sincerely,
It's 10:30 and I've already had 3 pieces
ETA: I can't take credit for the word. I've seen it used around TB many times.
Actually I think it's just luck of the draw. My sister still snisses from time to time and she had twins almost 4 years ago.... via c-section.
Please decide if you want to take a nap, go pee 30 times, or eat 47 lbs of White Cheddar Cheez-its immediately upon getting home from work. It is very difficult to do all three.
Love,
Oooh! Are those Swedish Fish?!?