MC and confused

Chelsberg

I am 8 weeks and had my first appointment yesterday, they told me that they couldn't find the heartbeat. I was spotting when I wiped but now have stopped. Is that normal? Im more so numb then sad right now. This is my first miscarriage, what can I expect and what helped you heal emotionally and physically? 

cooaladoll

I can't speak for anyone else of course and I'm not medically trained, but it can happen that way. In my lurking before I became a member I found almost no two people's experience exactly alike. In my case I started with spotting at 6wks2days which after a couple of days turned into what seemed like a normal period that was a little heavier and lasted a little longer than normal. Many have written that they started with spotting or light bleeding which stopped, but then started up again. It also depends on how long your body takes to recognize what's happened and some people feel some of their other pregnancy symptoms fade away. Did they test your beta levels for HCG? For me, as much as I didn't want to believe, the numbers they gave me were indisputable and made it feel somewhat more final. I'm very sorry that you are going through this, but I found so many helpful caring people going through the same thing here, I couldn't help but start to eventually feel a bit better knowing that I wasn't alone.

Chelsberg

They didn't test my levels... I had two different US. 

Becid24

I'm sorry for your loss. I also found out my baby had no heartbeat at my first ultrasound at 8w4days. It is very hard. My baby was right on target growth wise so it had just happened within a day or 2 before my appt. so I didn't have any spotting or anything. My dr said it would probably be 2-3 weeks before my body would miscarry on its own. So I went ahead and had the d&c. My body still took 4 full weeks to get the sign that their no longer was a baby inside. My hcg didn't drop until the end of the 4th week. As far as healing everyone is different and can't tell you how that will go. Just do your best to take care of yourself. Again I'm very sorry you are here. 

BrightenMySky

I am so sorry.  I had no symptoms and only found out about my loss when I went for an ultrasound at 11w (after having seen the heartbeat just shy of 8 weeks).  I went ahead and had the d&c about 4 days after we found out.  It looked like our baby had stopped growing several weeks prior, and I felt that if my body had not figured out that the pregnancy was not viable by that point, I did not want to wait for it to catch up.  I used cytotec about a week after the d&c, and it looks like I still have some retained tissue, which right now we have a wait and see approach, although I may have further interventions.  So, still physically healing, and the emotional recovery is hard.  Everyone is different, but feelings of numbness, sadness, anger, grief...I think I had them all at various points.  

For me, getting the remains tested after the d&c helped give me a little emotional relief.  Even though it's not "typical" to do that until multiple losses, I figured if I was going to have the d&c, I wanted to get the testing.  I also had a really good talk with my husband about how bonded I was already to our baby to help him understand where my feelings were coming from.  I bought a bracelet from an Etsy shop with an inscription inside so I have something physical I can wear all the time as a reminder/memorial, if I want.  I also told some of my close friends, and while I have not been up for talking much, just getting things from them--texts, food, cards--have been good reminders of how much support I have.

I think at this point, whatever you feel is valid.  If you want to wait and have another ultrasound before making any decisions, you can do that.  If you want to schedule a d&c or pursue a medical miscarriage, you can talk to your doctor about doing that.  If you want to just wait and see if things start happening on their own, you can do that (although I would make sure your doctor is on board, just in case there are any medical reasons why that would not be a good idea for you).

Chelsberg

I started bleeding this afternoon and had the OB send in the pills. Is it all oral? Thank you all for your kind words. 

BrightenMySky

Are the pills cytotec?  I can only tell you my experience, I have no medical training and think you should ask your doctor or pharmacist what you should do.  The GYN that prescribed cytotec to me told me to do 4 pills (1 right after the other) either vaginally or dissolved inside my cheek.  I did vaginally--just put on my finger tip and pushed it in (kind of like if you've ever used an OB tampon...).  My RE told me today that vaginally results in fewer side effects.  

zrain

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I also had a missed miscarriage. Baby stopped growing at 6w1d. I found out at 7w2d that baby's heart rate was very slow and then saw no heart beat at 8w2d. I decided to miscarry naturally. Spotting started 3 days later and stopped and started several times. A few days later it turned into full-on bleeding and I miscarried later that night. I didn't use the medication, but I had planned on asking for it this week if it hadn't happened yet. I've read that it can be taken orally or vaginally. There's a pinned thread at the top of this board with people's experiences, including with the pills (misoprostol/Cytotec). Either way, please know that you're not alone and we're all here for you. *hugs*

ThePax89

I'm so sorry. 

Expectations are different for everyone. I've had two experiences. 

1. Naturally. I woke up in excruciating pain, I didn't know that I was pregnant yet. I fell to the floor of my bathroom. My husband was going to take me to the er, but the pain became more manageable. I took a test. Saw that I was pregnant. My hcg levels from that point doubled. Though very low. My pregnancy tests got lighter every day, until they became nearly negative and I started bleeding. (The bleeding itself was not painful in my case, but the incident a week prior was). I was 5 weeks pregnant. 

2. D&c. I was 9.5 weeks pregnant. My baby was measuring less than 7 and no longer had a beating heart. I decided to have a d&c because my prior miscarriage was unbelievably painful and I didn't know how I would manage passing a 7 week fetus while caring for my toddler. The d&c was good because my morning sickness and pregnancy symptoms went away for the most part immediately. I wasn't in too much pain at first. I needed a second d&c 7 days later for retained tissue which sucked. 

chloe97

I actually find out I was miscarrying because I had very light spotting. I called the doctor and put together that the abrupt end to my symptoms were pointing to a miscarriage. The ultrasound confirmed. I was 10 weeks, but the baby stopped developing at 8 weeks 3 days. I didn't spot after that. I had a D&C 4 days later because things weren't progressing on their own. Like PPs said, every MC is different, but yours sounds pretty normal to me.

Im so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs!