Twatwaffle Tuesday

rachswi

because I need this in the worst way possible right now. 

So many twats. MIL earns the twatwaffle award for judging everything I do as a mother. I burp my son too hard. I bicycle his legs too roughly. Bitch - if I was hurting him he'd be crying instead of smiling. I know what I'm doing. Besides - you told your son when he was a child that if he touched a cake you would kill him so you have no room to judge. Also, for the love of all that is holy get your nose out of your daughter's marriage. Calling her husband a useless piece of shit does not make her love him or help them resolve their marital issues. 
DH earns the twatwaffle award for deciding that he took his turn with the baby last night by holding him for 2 minutes while he cried so I could pee. Never mind that I got less than 5 hours of sleep total and my nerves are so raw because I haven't gotten more than a 2.5 hour stretch of sleep in almost 2 weeks. Also once you finally get your lazy ass out of bed, it doesn't help me at all for you to sit with me in the nursery playing clash of clans while your son is screaming at me. Your presence is not comfort enough. 
And LO - thanks for screaming at me for an hour straight after daddy went to work this morning. Nothing makes me feel better about my abilities as a mother. 

VexedMommy

Men.  Everyone with a penis is a twatwaffle.  Especially my ex.  Who the hell do you think you are to tell me that you're tired?  You do not stay in this house overnight and deal with a screaming child and then go to work an 11.5hr day to come home and do it all over again.  You let her sleep all day so that you can take naps and play on your phone.  Fuck you very much. 

thefithuntress

My coworker is a twatwaffle for dropping the ball on a client. I totally saved his ass and made the customer happy through a phone call and detailed email, all while holding my recently fussy daughter. 

taykerslake

My fiancé is a twatwaffle because he has the stomach flu. Instead of telling me about it he blamed it on making too strong of a drink... And then kissed me and Arlo. Then proceeded to throw up all night and is at work still sick. This morning I woke up throwing up, and now have to reschedule the doctors appointment I should have had two months ago but couldn't book until today. At least I get Arlo snuggles all day. 

doodleoodle

My MIL. For still not acknowledging that she was yelling across the house on Super Bowl Sunday making it impossible for LO to nap. We eventually just left and she got mad about it. I told her I wasn't going over there again with LO until she doesn't need to nap so frequently. She said her other grandchildren never had an issue napping there. Uh yeah because they don't nap there and when they stay over you let them stay up until you go to bed at midnight. LO and I usually go over there once during the week and once on the weekend with DH but we haven't been over since. FIL has called twice asking us to come over, but without some sort of acknowledgment I just can't.

rachswi

Now I'm the twat for being upset with LO for not calming down. Turns out he has thrush, is getting over his cold, and I just saw little white bumps on his bottom jaw so he's teething

VexedMommy

rachswi said:

Now I'm the twat for being upset with LO for not calming down. Turns out he has thrush, is getting over his cold, and I just saw little white bumps on his bottom jaw so he's teething

You're not a twat for how you feel, only you know that.  If you yelled at him or something though that would make you a twat. 

rachswi

VexedMommy said:

rachswi said:

Now I'm the twat for being upset with LO for not calming down. Turns out he has thrush, is getting over his cold, and I just saw little white bumps on his bottom jaw so he's teething

You're not a twat for how you feel, only you know that.  If you yelled at him or something though that would make you a twat. 

No I didn't. But I did put him in his swing and let him cry for a bit. I hate doing that even though I know it's better than accidentally hurting him. My nerves are so raw from crappy sleep thanks to his cold he's had for almost 2 weeks. 

bellie1223

rachswi said:

VexedMommy said:

rachswi said:

Now I'm the twat for being upset with LO for not calming down. Turns out he has thrush, is getting over his cold, and I just saw little white bumps on his bottom jaw so he's teething

You're not a twat for how you feel, only you know that.  If you yelled at him or something though that would make you a twat. 

No I didn't. But I did put him in his swing and let him cry for a bit. I hate doing that even though I know it's better than accidentally hurting him. My nerves are so raw from crappy sleep thanks to his cold he's had for almost 2 weeks. 

We all have those days, don't worry, he's not going to remember this one period when Mommy had less patience with him. Definitely letting him cry for a little bit is better than accidentally hurting him or getting more frustrated!! 

Training for work which is only marginally applicable to me and keeps me away from my baby an extra two hours is the twat...

And pumping...

GoogleMD

rachswi said:

VexedMommy said:

rachswi said:

Now I'm the twat for being upset with LO for not calming down. Turns out he has thrush, is getting over his cold, and I just saw little white bumps on his bottom jaw so he's teething

You're not a twat for how you feel, only you know that.  If you yelled at him or something though that would make you a twat. 

No I didn't. But I did put him in his swing and let him cry for a bit. I hate doing that even though I know it's better than accidentally hurting him. My nerves are so raw from crappy sleep thanks to his cold he's had for almost 2 weeks. 

We have all has those days. My DH is working late today, Grayson cried nonstop for 1.5hrs. I put him in his swing for 5 min so I could collect myself (and even mom needs a bathroom break),  I was less stressed and better able to  comfort him. You take care of your LO better when you take care of yourself 

kmd91

My husband and the fact that he doesn't really do much for the baby because "you know him better." Yeah, cause I take care of him 24/7. I've learned his cues and what makes him happy. You could do the same if you tried on occasion rather than just giving him to me when he cries and saying "here, fix him." He had the last 5 days off work and spent maybe 30 nonconsecutive minutes with the baby each day. 

mrsaragon

This is totally late but my husbands the major twat. I stay home with our LO all day and He's been going through a miserable stage lately. DH has slept on the couch since day 1 because he doesn't want to get woken up when the baby wakes up during the night (one time), he gets to sleep in, doesn't even wake up when I'm downstairs and the kid is screaming his head off. Gets to go to work, goes out on the weekends to go fishing, hunting, hair cuts, etc and still has the balls to tell me that having a baby is more stressful for him than it is for me. It took everything in me not to junk punch him repeatedly.  

doodleoodle

mrsaragon said:

This is totally late but my husbands the major twat. I stay home with our LO all day and He's been going through a miserable stage lately. DH has slept on the couch since day 1 because he doesn't want to get woken up when the baby wakes up during the night (one time), he gets to sleep in, doesn't even wake up when I'm downstairs and the kid is screaming his head off. Gets to go to work, goes out on the weekends to go fishing, hunting, hair cuts, etc and still has the balls to tell me that having a baby is more stressful for him than it is for me. It took everything in me not to junk punch him repeatedly.  

Not punching him repeatedly I understand, but did you at least clock him once?

rachswi

I went to spend some time with my friends (an hour and a half)... I left DS with DH. He thought it would be funny to send a video of our son screaming and crying inconsolably. Thanks for the mommy guilt. 

rmortinsen

Co worker twat!! So I had my baby boy in November, I just got news that I need a hysterectomy because I have cervical cancer I'm devastated, I mean I feel like we are done having children regardless but it's still very emotional as this pretty much forces my decision of ever having another baby whether I want one or not, well i talked to a coworker about it today as I just needed to get it off my mind and her only response is "wow your so lucky you won't have to have periods anymore!" Yea real lucky idiot instead of a period I get major surgery due to cancer, thanks for the support but no thanks 

VexedMommy

rmortinsen said:

Co worker twat!! So I had my baby boy in November, I just got news that I need a hysterectomy because I have cervical cancer I'm devastated, I mean I feel like we are done having children regardless but it's still very emotional as this pretty much forces my decision of ever having another baby whether I want one or not, well i talked to a coworker about it today as I just needed to get it off my mind and her only response is "wow your so lucky you won't have to have periods anymore!" Yea real lucky idiot instead of a period I get major surgery due to cancer, thanks for the support but no thanks 

I'm sorry you're dealing with this and that your co-worker is a twat about it.  She probably thought she was trying to put a positive spin on things, but she failed miserably.  Creepy Internet Hugs. 

laswett

Virginia SOLs are twats. Today and always. 

mcandice16

My husbands ex wife is a twat! Everyday all day! Every other weekend we switch, well she just happens to work 1 to 9 on the weekends she is suppose to have her kids and on the weekends we have them, she is miraculously off work or off work early!! Just annoys the crap out of me

kmd91

My dog is the twat today. It's super stormy out today, so there's a ton of wind blowing around my house. I had set up my pump parts and bottles on the counter and I assume the wind must have blown one to the ground. Then the dog decided it was a great idea to chew it up. Plastic shards everywhere, hopefully none in her, and the whole top part, whatever it's called, I'm blanking on that, destroyed completely. I EP, so I really don't know what I'm gonna do other than murder the dog. 

dramaphile

kmd91 said:

My dog is the twat today. It's super stormy out today, so there's a ton of wind blowing around my house. I had set up my pump parts and bottles on the counter and I assume the wind must have blown one to the ground. Then the dog decided it was a great idea to chew it up. Plastic shards everywhere, hopefully none in her, and the whole top part, whatever it's called, I'm blanking on that, destroyed completely. I EP, so I really don't know what I'm gonna do other than murder the dog. 

My dog ate one of my pump flanges and I wanted to kill him!  My husband went out and got me a new one, and the little shit ate that one, too!  He's lucky he's so xute

kmd91

dramaphile said:

kmd91 said:

My dog is the twat today. It's super stormy out today, so there's a ton of wind blowing around my house. I had set up my pump parts and bottles on the counter and I assume the wind must have blown one to the ground. Then the dog decided it was a great idea to chew it up. Plastic shards everywhere, hopefully none in her, and the whole top part, whatever it's called, I'm blanking on that, destroyed completely. I EP, so I really don't know what I'm gonna do other than murder the dog. 

My dog ate one of my pump flanges and I wanted to kill him!  My husband went out and got me a new one, and the little shit ate that one, too!  He's lucky he's so xute

Haha, I'm so glad my dog isn't the only weirdo. This is actually the second time she got the same one, but last time it was mostly just cosmetic damage. You're so right though, they're lucky they're cute

brianna91chavez

My MIL and FIL came over for dinner last night. I was in the kitchen cooking and I heard MIL ask LO "do you like that? Is that good?" 
I looked in the living room and I saw her dip LO pacifier in her Diet Pepsi. I dropped what I was doing and went over and snatched him out of the mamaroo. 
Later in the evening she was talking to LO and said "when are you going to come over so grandma can watch you?" 
Never. 

rubirubi89

My son and the storm are both winners. If it wasn't one, it was the other waking me up all night. Now I'm going to work looking stoned. Yay for coffee.

rachswi

@brianna91chavez wow. That's awful. Why would you willingly addict anyone to diet soda, much less a 4 month old?!? I'm all for letting my kid sample/suck on fruits or veggies DH and I are having (just tiny bits here or there) but soda of any kind (much less diet soda) is totally unacceptable! Why would she think that's okay?!?

Jtk13

@brianna91chavez I would have slapped her. My MIL tried to give my 2.5 month old icing off of her finger but luckily I was holding her and could pull away. She said "what? I put sugar on my kids pacifiers by 3 weeks." Good for you lady, you just lost all babysitting privledges. What is wrong with that generation? Is this the reason we're all fat and have health problems?! 

rubirubi89

My coffee mug for breaking in my hand right after I finished making my perfect cup of coffee.

My car for getting stuck in the mud.  WHILE ITS STILL RAINING!!

The internet at work for being down from the storm. 

brianna91chavez

@rachswi I honestly think she does it to be a bitch and to try to assert some kind of control over me. She's heard me say that I don't even want LO to know what soda is....she knows what she's doing.

@jtk13 I would slap her if it wouldn't cause tension between DH & I!  

GoogleMD

OMG @brianna91chavez and @Jtk13 I don't think I would have any restraint. If my MIL wasn't already in the dog house she would pull shit like this, but she has only seen my LO 3 or 4 times since November so I think she is trying to behave so I don't cut her off completly.

mcdoug211

Reading all these horror stories makes me happy my in laws live on the other side of the country..but I fear she'll pack it into the week were staying there

slatta2013

We were out at DH's grandparents's house last night and they were making fried chicken for supper. FIL decided it would be a good idea to stand Wyatt on the counter next to the skillet full of sizzling grease. I about lost it!

brianna91chavez

slatta2013 said:

We were out at DH's grandparents's house last night and they were making fried chicken for supper. FIL decided it would be a good idea to stand Wyatt on the counter next to the skillet full of sizzling grease. I about lost it!

Old people will justify that with "my kids got splattered with grease all the time and they're just fine!"

angelinthepit23

Very late to the party but I need to vent or I will explode. I'm seriously ready to end all communication with MIL. Apparently she told DH yesterday that my sister and I speak too much baby talk to LO and we are going to effect how he learns the English language. She THEN processed to do an impersonation of me baby talking which was an incoherent slew of jibberish. 

1.) We do not do "baby talk" as in high pitch whining words. Sure I say "wuv" and things like that but nothing like what you think you hear me say. 

2.) Last time I checked babies don't speak proper English from the start of them talking. I didn't realize he would say things like "mother" instead of "mama"
Or when he starts putting sentences together I should expect "Mother, I do believe I would enjoy some fresh milk."

3.) I'll stop talking "baby talk" when you stop squeling at him in your high pitch voice whenever you see him like he's deaf and say "bubbie" every third word becuse that's what YOU want called

I told DH last night I can't be alone with her in the house anymore and if she's there he's there. I'm over her unsolicited advice that is basically revolving around everything I do wrong. And coming from someone who scalded their child with hot coffee and didn't strap him into his high chair so he climbed out and bashed his head open... I'll take your advice for sure! 

Also, she thinks it's ok that she wants to come over every weekend. And last weekend when she asked to come over and DH said it wasn't a good weekend she seriously asked why she couldn't come over. 

Ellsmac

kmd91 said:

dramaphile said:

kmd91 said:

My dog is the twat today. It's super stormy out today, so there's a ton of wind blowing around my house. I had set up my pump parts and bottles on the counter and I assume the wind must have blown one to the ground. Then the dog decided it was a great idea to chew it up. Plastic shards everywhere, hopefully none in her, and the whole top part, whatever it's called, I'm blanking on that, destroyed completely. I EP, so I really don't know what I'm gonna do other than murder the dog. 

My dog ate one of my pump flanges and I wanted to kill him!  My husband went out and got me a new one, and the little shit ate that one, too!  He's lucky he's so xute

Haha, I'm so glad my dog isn't the only weirdo. This is actually the second time she got the same one, but last time it was mostly just cosmetic damage. You're so right though, they're lucky they're cute

My dog does this too! He's obsessed with the pump parts!

mcandice16

Today's twat is my adoreable 21 month old son! I know he isn't feeling well because he has insane diarrhea all day. Well when mommy tries to comfort you please don't throw up in my face, hair, down my boobs, all over my legs and then projectile vomit on the carpet :-/ I love you and I'm sorry your sick but that was a twat moment